Holding On (Memories) (3 page)

“He's just being a guy,” I defend as my eyes run down the flowery papers she's looking at. Blue flowers. Pink flowers. In fact, there's four different pink ones. Exactly the same. This is insane. “Can't you just pick a wallpaper?”

“Then guys are pigs,” Jen responds sharply. “And no, I can't “just pick a wallpaper,” Alec. There's a method to this, you know.”

“There's a method to putting it on walls,” I mumble. “And it
ain't gonna get done if
your
methods take ten years to work through.”

Jen pivots on the balls of her feet
, and smacks my chest with a rolled up paint chart. “Suck on it, Johnson. My flat will be a work of art and no impatient, penis-brain-thinking moron is going to stop that. Got it?”

I nod once. “Got it.”

Lexy glances over her shoulder at me, her lips curled up on one side. I shrug innocently, shoving my hands in my pockets, and look around. The girls begin to talk shades of I don't even know what, matching colours on the wallpaper with colours on the chart. I follow them aimlessly, searching for Bing. Where the hell is he?

We pass the spot we left him talking to the blonde sales assistant and they're still stood talking. I clear my throat and elbow him in the back as I pass him
, and he hastily says goodbye to the girl, pocketing his phone.

“Sorry about that,” he says nonchalantly. “I was just,
er...”

“Finding a new hole to score in?” Jen says over her shoulder icily.

Wow. She really does have the hots for Bing.

Bing runs his eyes down her body and back up until his meets hers. “Probably a tighter
hole to score in than if I tried with you.”

Lexy gasps. My eyes widen, and Jen's lips thin until they're almost non-existent. Anger shines in her eyes
, and she marches up to him, the rolled up paint chart pointing at Bing's chest.

“It probably is tighter,” she says in a low voice
, jabbing him. “But that, Samuel, is probably because whatever you're trying to score with is so damn small not even a magnifying glass could make it visible.” She smirks triumphantly, raises her eyebrows, and turns around, stalking towards the paint aisle.

“Damn.” I shake my head as I watch them go.

“What?” Bing asks, his teeth grinding together in anger.

“She's got you there, mate.”

“For now,” he replies tightly, storming off after them.

I chew the inside of my cheek
, and let my lips move into a smug, knowing smile.

Jen might be with my best friend of a lifetime, but some things can't be denied. Whatever is between Bing and Jen is one of those things, and one day it's
gonna come to a head. I just hope Carl isn't caught in the middle of it.

~

I swing my legs from the kitchen counter, and watch Alec as he puts the paper to the wall. His back muscles flex clearly, since both him and Bing have long taken their tops off, and I'm mesmerised by the rippling muscle.

“Lexy?” he says, amusement lacing his tone.

“Hm?” I meet his eyes. He's smiling.

“Can you get me a drink please, Princess? I'm working hard here,
y'know.”

Yes. Yes, you are working hard. Ahem.

I slide off the counter and fill two glasses. I cross the room, and hand Alec and Bing one each.

“I thought we were all doing some work here?” Bing grumbles.

“I am working,” I say innocently. “I'm supervising.”

“Supervising doesn't involve ogling your boyfriend.”

“You're just jealous because there's no-one to ogle you, Samuel.” Jen smirks.

My brother glances at her. “If you're my only option, I'd rather have no-one ogling me.”

“Just as well I'm not likely to look at you like a piece of chocolate any time soon then, isn't it?”

Bing grunts a reply and finishes the water, handing it back to me. “Thanks, sis.”

“Welcome, bro.” I take Alec's glass and set them on the counter, turning to Jen. “Is your room done?”

She nods excitedly. “Come see!”

I follow her in and smile at the new room. It was the first room to be done, and it shows. The pink and chocolate brown floral wallpaper on one wall is set off by three bright pink walls, a large brown shaggy rug, and brown and pink bed covers.

“Love it.” I grin. “And your easel is in the corner!”

“Or course.” She touches the top of it. “I have to have an easel in my room. Early morning painting is the best.”

“It still amazes me that someone as crazy as you does something as calm as painting.”

“It's where I get my crazy from, Lexy. It’s stored up as I paint.” She grins, and winks.

“You win,” I concede and mak
e it back into the front room. The stripy wallpaper is finally up, and both boys are collapsed on the main sofa. Jen claps her hands.

“Up! You have painting to do! I'm not paying you to sit on your arses.”

“You're not paying us at all,” Bing replies dryly. “There's no pizza, no money, no beer. Nothing.”

“I'd go and get some, but I don't have a car.”

“And you can't drive.”

Jen coughs. “I can drive, thank you very much.”

“Driving people up the wall doesn't count, Jennifer.”

“I passed my driving test first time
, six months after my seventeenth birthday, Samuel.”

Bing looks at Alec in disbelief. “Is that true?”

Alec nods. “She passed before me. I just got a car first.”

Jen smiles widely.

“Fuck,” Bing curses. “Here.” He grabs his keys from his pocket, and chucks them at Jen. “Scratch my baby, and I'm gonna kick your ass. And for fuck sake, don't do anything that'll get you pulled over.”

Jen dangles the keys from her finger. “I didn't know you had a car.”

“Well, I do. No need to sound so surprised. Now, for that pizza?”

I hold out a hand. “Now, for that money?”

“What?” Alec looks between us then at Bing.

“We're students.” I put a hand to my chest. “You can't possibly think we have money for pizza
and
beer.”

Bing huffs and pulls out his wallet, shoving a twenty pound note in my direction. “I want the change.”

I slip my feet into my boots, grab my cardigan, and open the door. Jen giggles as she passes through, and I shoot my brother a final smile. “It's not likely. Sucker!”

“Bitch!” he shouts after me.

“Takes one to know one!” I yell back. “Bye now!”

I shut the door and run after Jen, giggling with her. I sigh happily and show her the money.

“I think I fancy a bottle of rose wine tonight, Lexy,” she muses. I point her towards Bing's Ford.

“You know what, Jen?” I grin at her over the top of the car. “I think I do too.”

I watch my sister and Jen leave the flat, gritting my teeth together.
Jen winds me up like no-one I’ve ever met before, and I know exactly why it is.

It’s because I’m as attracted as hell to her cocky little ass, and there’s sweet fuck all I can do about it. If she was any other girl, I’d take her by the hands, lock her in
that pretty pink bedroom of hers, and keep her there until we’d worked the attraction out several times over.

Alec smirks at me. “Got an itch you can’t scratch, Bing?”

I grunt. “I’m pretty sure that girl from Laura Ashley today could give it a good fuckin’ scratch for me.”

“So call her.” Alec shrugs.

“I will when I’m done here. Lexy would kick my ass if I walked out now just to fuck someone I’ve only just met.”

“But she expects it, right?”

“Yep. That’s why I ain’t gonna do it,” I say resolutely.

“Changing your ways?” Alec laughs.

I shrug a shoulder. “Maybe it’s time to calm down a bit. I’m almost twenty-one. It’s not like I’m a horny teenager anymore.”

“Just a horny twenty-something.”

“Well, yeah.” I smirk. “Maybe I need to find one girl who can deal with that horny.”

“And the attitude, and the snarky comments, and the falling down jeans, and the ego, and…”

“All right.” I punch his arm. “That’s gotta be one helluva girl,” I mutter, staring at the front door.

“Damn right she’s
gotta be,” Alec agrees. “She’s gotta be just as cocky and sarcastic as you to be able to put up with your shit.”

“Heidi seemed to have a bit of an attitude.”

Alec shakes his head, sighing. “Heidi? The Laura Ashley girl?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“You know her name?”

“Mate, if she’s hot enough for me to consider doing her more than once, then yeah, I know her name.”

“You sleep with girls more than once?”

I punch his arm again. “It’s been known to happen. Depends how good in the sack they are.” I look at him, grinning, and he laughs.

“Then you should go scratch your itch tonight. You never know…” He raises his eyebrows. “She may be worth three times.”

“Hey.” I point at him. “Don’t fuckin’ push
it.”

We both chuckle, and he’s right. I need to get my fucking itch scratched, because the busty blonde babe putting that itch all over me isn’t
gonna scratch it anytime soon.

~

Are you coming out tonight?

Yep. See you at Red?

Nine. DON’T be late.

I purse my lips
, and put my phone face down, staring at my wardrobe blankly. I have no desire to go out tonight and get drunk. I have no desire to see my old friends who are on a total different wavelength to me. For them... All that matters is partying and getting drunk.

I want more than that in life. I want an education, a life, a husband,
and babies. I want it all, and it wasn't until Devon I truly realised that. It wasn't until Alec followed me home that I realised I want it all with him.

Sure, I've only known him a little under three months, so it's probably
kinda naïve and absolutely ridiculous for me to say that – but if Grammy taught me anything, it’s that the heart controls all matters of love. I can't control that. If I did, he probably wouldn't be with me in London right now.

My heart wanted Alec. My heart got Alec. And now, my heart wants Alec for always, and as long as he feels the same, my heart will get it.

Some things in life aren't worth fighting. But I'll always be glad Alec never stopped fighting.

I kiss my fingers
, and press them to the glass in front of the smiling image of Grammy and me from this summer. It was one of the times I was helping her in the garden. We were both completely covered in mud, and Mum snapped a picture. It's also one of my favourites, simply because of the look of pure joy on her face.

Every time I look at the picture I remember the pain I felt a few weeks ago when I found out the truth about Grammy's illness. I remember the pain I felt when I
found out Alec knew all along - but then I remember the happiness I felt before all of that. If I'd known about her heart problems when I arrived in Lilac Bay, I wouldn't have had that happiness.

Grammy always said you can't have a smile without a little pain, and she was right.

Because of that pain, I can appreciate the smiles I have a little more.

I swallow the lump in my throat
, and look at my clock. Six. I need to get ready.

I type a message to Alec telling him to be here at eight-thirty
, and cross my room, pulling my wardrobe doors open. Rows of dresses I love stare back at me, and instead of the usual tight outfit I'd pick, I pull out a white baggy dress that cinches at the waist with a thick brown belt. I grab a pair of brown heels, and set the outfit out on my bed.

I look at it and sigh, wishing I was curling up in front of the
tele with Alec instead. I'm eighteen, I should be wanting to go out, and I should be excited. I guess I'm either odd, or I just did an awful lot of growing up this summer.

I take Alec's hand as we pass through the door of Red just after nine. The name isn't very inventive since the whole club is red and black, but hey, who am I to judge? Music pounds into me, and I take a deep breath, pulling Alec towards the bar.

“Busy,” he says into my ear.

“Always is,” I shout in reply. “Red is the place to be at the weekend.”

He nods, looking
around. Joe, my favourite bartender, leans over to me.