Hit the Wall (Blythe College) (17 page)

CHAPTER
17

Kaylie

The decision for where to go after school ended was so damn difficult. This was a time when I should be thrilled that my dreams were coming true. Instead, I was so unsure of what to do because I knew that whatever I decided would impact Jackson almost as much as it did me. When we talked about it, he’d assured me that I needed to go with whatever was best for me and we would figure out our situation after. But how was I supposed to do that when I knew that I could take us down a path that meant the end of our relationship?

I hadn’t been looking for a relationship, but I guessed these things happened when they were meant to instead of when it was convenient for us. This was probably one of the worst times in my life for me to be worried about a boyfriend, but it just didn’t matter. Jackson was a part of my life, and I wanted to keep him there, which meant I was going to go with the decision that would let me have my dream and still give me the best chance to keep him in my life. I was going to accept the Chicago offer. It might not be what my heart was telling me to do when it came to my dancing, but it was definitely what I felt I should do because of Jackson.

It wasn’t that I thought he wouldn’t support my decision to go to New York. I knew that he would back me up no matter what I chose to do. But the extra distance and the frantic pace of New York City meant that I would get even less time to build our relationship. As solid as things felt between us right now, I had to remember that this was still relatively new and needed time to grow deeper—time spent together, not apart.

I planned to tell Jackson my decision tonight. We were going to spend the night at the cabin again, so it was perfect timing since we would have some extra privacy we wouldn’t get if we were at his frat or my dorm. He had plans for most of the day, so I was just meeting him there. With the school year almost over, I went ahead and quit my job at the bar so I’d have extra time to make sure I was ready to go when the time came. I also wanted to have extra time to spend with Jackson so that I could save up some memories for when I left. I finally had some flexibility in my schedule with the showcase being over and not working anymore.

When I made it to the cabin, Jackson’s truck was already parked in front and there was a flickering light coming from inside. I hurried in because I didn’t want to waste a minute of the time I had remaining with him. When I stepped inside, I saw that he’d gone all out. Dinner was on the table, candles were lit, and Adele was playing in the background. Jackson had really shocked me with how romantic he could be sometimes. I hadn’t expected it of him, but I loved that he was willing to show his sensitive side to me on occasion. He always made sure I knew how much I meant to him. He worked hard to ensure I had no reason to ever doubt my place by his side.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted, walking towards me so he could pick me up and twirl me around before giving me a quick hello kiss. “Damn, I missed you today.”

“Jackson,” I sighed. How the hell was I supposed to be okay with losing the chance to have this in my life every single day? I had always respected Char for how she handled herself being so far away from Shane these last four years, but I never really understood how difficult it had been for her until now. No volume of phone calls, text messages, or Skype calls could possibly make up for not being able to touch Jackson whenever I wanted. We could talk a thousand times a day and I still didn’t think it would be enough.

“No sad faces tonight, Kaylie. I swear to you it will all work out,” he promised, easily reading my thoughts on my face.

How I wished he could make everything okay, but I just didn’t see how it was possible. It was either dance or seeing him every day, and I just couldn’t say no to my dream when it came knocking on my door. I tried to shake off this melancholy feeling so that I could enjoy this time I had with him now instead of wasting it by being sad. I hugged him tight, swallowing down the sudden lump in my throat.

“I know it will, Jackson. No matter what,” I agreed, stepping back to move to the table. Jackson pulled out my chair, helping me get settled before sitting down himself. I couldn’t help but think that it was these little things I might miss the most.

“I hope you’re in the mood for Japanese. I stopped off to grab some carryout on my way over and got your favorites,” he said, dishing food onto my plate from the containers in the middle of the table. He’d gone to the restaurant he’d taken me to for our first date. It was so fucking sweet. He really was pulling out all the stops to make my last days here as special as possible.

“It looks wonderful,” I replied, suddenly feeling famished as I realized I had skipped lunch today. I quickly dug into the meal, enjoying every bite.

We were both fairly quiet while we ate, a comfortable silence hanging between us. We just enjoyed our food and being together, knowing we’d have time to talk once we were done. I appreciated that we could be together like this without it being awkward.

Once we were both full, we quickly cleaned up the mess and moved to the living room to sit on the couch. I was looking forward to some cuddle time with him, just hanging out.

“There’s something we need to talk about,” he said in a serious tone of voice. My smile must have slipped a bit at his words because he sat down and pulled me onto his lap. “It’s not anything bad, Kaylie. In fact, I hope that you think this is something really good.”

I cocked my head, trying to think what he could possibly be talking about but coming up empty. “Okay,” I replied cautiously. “You’ve got my full attention. And there’s something I wanted to discuss with you tonight too.”

He tightened his grip on me, almost like he was afraid I was about to bolt. “I know you’ve been struggling to decide between going to Chicago or New York. When we talked about the different offers, you looked so excited about the idea of dancing in New York. It’s what you’ve always dreamed about, and I want you to go for it.”

“But,
Jackson, that would mean I’d be even farther away from you. And the demands on my time would be so much more if I danced there,” I worried, not telling him anything I hadn’t already shared before.

“Not if I come with you,” he argued.

My heart stopped at his words as I literally lost my breath for a moment, positive that I must have heard him wrong. “Come with me?” I repeated.

“I know it sounds crazy, but just hear me out before you say anything,” he pleaded with me. “This thing between us might be pretty new, but I know that you mean a lot to me and I don’t want to risk losing you with the distance that would be between us. It’s not that I don’t believe in our relationship, because I do.
But I don’t think it’s worth the gamble when I have too much to lose. You.”

“Jackson,” I whispered, incredibly touched by his words.

“Not done yet,” he said as he touched a fingertip to my lips, stopping me from saying anything else. “And it’s not a bad idea for work either. I already talked to my dad about it, and he’s making some calls to put feelers out with banks where he knows people. I could learn a lot about the industry from working at a bigger bank and bring that knowledge back with me when I’m ready to come back home and work with him in the future.”

“You talked to your dad already?” I gasped, stunned that he’d put so much thought into this plan before talking to me about it.

“Yeah, today,” he replied.

“And he’s really okay with this?”

“I know. I was pretty damn shocked that I was able to make him understand why I feel like this is the right decision. But I’ve got his support, and he’s going to talk to my mom tonight. So I guess the only real question now is what you think about the idea.”

I took a moment to really consider the idea of both of us living in New York. It was clear he’d put a lot of thought into this, and I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t taking it as seriously as he obviously had.

“Well—“ I drew the moment out. “I think it would be pretty damn fantastic to have you there with me, as long as this is really what you want to do for yourself—not just for me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been
more sure of anything in my life, Kaylie.”

“Hot damn!” I shrieked, jumping off his lap. “I’m going to dance in New York City, Jackson!”

He watched me with a wide smile stretched across his face, his eyes lit from the inside as I danced around the room to celebrate this moment. It was like a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders.

“I take it that means you’re okay with the idea?”

I ran across the room and tackled him on the couch. “Okay doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. I feel like I could take on the whole fucking world right now and win. I get to live my dream with you by my side. Did you really think that I wasn’t going to jump at the chance for that?”

He chuckled lightly. “I’ll admit I was a little worried you might think it was over the top, even for me.”

“Not at all! I can hardly wait. I get to spend my days dancing and my nights in bed with you. How awesome is that?” I asked before a thought crossed my mind. “I do get to spend my nights with you, right? I guess I kind of assumed that this meant you wanted to live together.”

“Hell yes, that’s what I’m saying, Kaylie.”

“Woohoo! We’re going to live in sin together, baby,” I teased. “Maybe we should get some practice in before we go and get buck wild tonight.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he said as he picked me up and marched down the hall towards the bedroom before tossing me onto the bed. There was a wicked gleam in his eye that made me so hot, and an idea popped into my head as I stripped off my sweater and jeans. Something that would show him how much his decision meant to me.

“Jackson,” I murmured to get his attention as he whipped off his shirt. I was distracted by the sight of his chest for a moment before I realized he was standing there, staring at me. “I want to make tonight as special for you as you made it for me, but I didn’t have time to plan something in advance.”

“Any night I get to spend with you is special, sweetheart,” he reassured me.

“But tonight’s different. Things are changing, moving to the next level. Your decision to move with me to New York? It’s huge, Jackson. You’re making sure my dreams come true just the way I imagined them,” I tried to explain.

“That’s the idea, Kaylie.”

“Then I think the least I can do is try to make one of your sexual fantasies come true, don’t you think?” I asked.

His pants dropped down his legs, and he just froze there staring at me with a shocked look on his face while they lay tangled at his feet. “Any one of them in particular or did you have something specific in mind?”

I gave him a seductive smile as I lay back on the pillows, lifting my arms above my head. I crossed my wrists and rested them on the headboard before saying, “What do you think?”

“Kaylie,” he breathed out, staring at me spread across the bed clad only in my bra and panties. No other words were said before he moved into action.

He kicked off his jeans and swiftly walked into the bathroom. I heard him slamming some cabinets as he went in search of something to tie me up with. At least that’s what I assumed he was searching for. I heard a ripping sound right before he came back in the room with strips of a torn sheet gripped in his hands.

“Are you sure about this? You don’t have to do this to pay me back for my decision. I made it for me as much as I did you.”

“I want this, Jackson. I’ve been curious about it ever since our first night together. I was scared before, but I’m ready now. You’ve proven to me that I can trust you with anything,” I reassured him.

“You can trust me, sweetheart. I swear to you, I will never do anything you aren’t comfortable with. If you don’t like it, you just tell me to stop,” he promised.

I just smiled at him and held my hands out to him. Now wasn’t the time for words. It was the time to show him I was ready for this.

He pulled off my bra before looping one of the torn pieces of sheet around my wrist, tying it loosely before wrapping it around the bedpost. His fingers trailed down my arm and across my chest, pausing so he could tease my nipples before he moved to do the same to my other wrist. He gently nudged me so that I moved down the bed a little, laid bare and vulnerable beneath him. Sitting on his knees, he looked down at me, one fingertip running lightly across my skin, sending goose bumps everywhere it touched.

He leaned down to whisper hotly in my ear. “I swear to God, I’m going to make this good for you, sweetheart.”

“I have no doubt about that, Jackson.”

His slipped his fingers into the sides of my panties as he tugged them down my body. Once they were off, he held my ankle as he moved one of my legs to the side as he looped another piece of sheet around it so he could tie it to the bedpost at the foot of the bed. He ran his palm up the inside of that leg, lifting it slightly so that he barely touched my pussy as he crossed to the other side to run it down that leg on his way to secure it to the other post. I had expected to be uncomfortable lying naked and spread out before him with no way to move or cover myself. But it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. Instead, I felt powerful, which was a very strange thing considering I’d put myself at his mercy for now.