His Undoing (2 page)

“I could hook you up. Come out with me tomorrow and I’ll introduce you to some of the cheerleaders. They’ll love you.” Okay, now being gay was starting to make sense. He clearly had no idea what women liked if he thought the cheerleaders would be interested in me.

“Thanks, but I’ve got to study.” There was no way I was going to a frat party full of drunk jocks. I didn’t have a death or humiliation wish.

“Live a little
, man. You aren’t supposed to study 24/7. Just come for a little while. I promise it’ll be fun.” I tried to come up with a plausible excuse to get out of it but I had nothing better to do and it sounded kinda fun. What good was rooming with a babe magnet if I couldn’t get him to help me meet girls?

“Okay, I guess that sounds fun.”

The next night, we met back in the room after dinner to get ready. He helped me pick out something to wear and then went to take a shower while I got dressed. We settled on a solid yellow t-shirt and black jeans. I only wore t-shirts underneath my regular, looser shirts so I felt very self conscious about being so scrawny. When I mentioned it to Brett, he mumbled something and smiled.

“Did you just call me a
twinkie?” I asked indignantly. I remembered why I hated yellow and immediately started searching my drawers for a button down to wear over it. Brett laughed and stilled my hands.
“No, sorry. You look good. Don’t change a thing. The chicks will be all over you. You just tell me when you see one you like and I’ll try to distract the rest. I’m an excellent wingman.” He smirked as he gave me one last look and then pushed me out the door.

The party was at a frat house just off campus
, only a few blocks away. We walked in silence for a few minutes before I had to set a few ground rules.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I can’t talk to girls. I really do just stutter and twitch and make a complete jackass out of myself so please don’t make me talk to anyone. Oh, and do the people we’ll see tonight know you’re gay or is it a secret? I don’t want to accidentally say anything if you don’t want me to.”

“You’ll be fine. The girls are all really nice and they’ll be gentle. I think you’re gonna like Maggie. She’s an engineering major too.” He patted my shoulder gently but it still had enough force to make me stumble once before regaining my balance. “And no, it’s not a secret but I don’t advertise to people that I’m gay so I guess I’d ask you not to bring it up, if you can avoid it. I just don’t want any of them to feel weird around me. It’s one of those ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ situations so until someone asks, I’m not gonna tell.”

“Cool.” We approached the house and there were people overflowing into the yard, hanging out of
windows and even a few smoking on the roof outside of a dormer. I wanted to vomit.

I was so nervous about being around Brett’s friends that I pretty much followed him like a puppy as we weaved through the throngs of people. Brett stopped at a table with a keg and poured a drink for each of us. I took a big gulp, hoping it would help alleviate the anxiety I was feeling. When he realized that I had chugged half of the cup in one drink, he topped it off and we went out on the back patio. There was a fire pit set up with outdoor furniture surrounding it. Brett pulled me into a group of girls and displayed me for their appraisal.

“Hey Beautiful,” Brett said to a blonde girl that was closest to us. “I’d like you to meet my friend, Mike. He’s a little shy but I told him that you ladies would take care of him. Mike, this is Maggie.”

One thing Brett did know about women was how to judge them. Maggie was beautiful.

“Hi, Mike. It’s nice to meet you. This is my roommate, Amy. And that is Sara. And over there, with her eyes glued to her phone, is Amanda. So how do you know Brett?”

“Um, we’re
ro-roommates.” The stuttering had begun. I finished the rest of my beer and Brett handed me his full cup. He winked at me and walked away, leaving me with the girls that were hanging on my every word. They seemed fascinated by me. They wanted to know where I was from and what I liked to do. It was unlike any conversation I’d ever had with girls. We talked for hours and I didn’t stutter once. I didn’t even realize that the party had died down until Brett came out to tell me he was heading to a bar with some of the guys.

“You about ready to head out, Mike?
We’re gonna shoot some pool over at Eddie’s for a while.” He looked at the girls and asked them to join us.
“You guys go ahead. We’re gonna head home,” Maggie said to the both of us.

“Actually, I think I’m
gonna head back too.” I feigned a stretch and yawn to prove how tired I was but Brett just gave me a knowing look. I would never win an academy award for my acting skills, that’s for sure.

“Fine, you party poopers. Mike, you okay to get home by yourself?” I could feel my face flush at his question.

“Of course. I’m not a five-year-old. I think I can find my way home.” Each of the girls jumped up to give me a hug and Brett held up his fist to bump as I passed him. I was feeling a little giddy from the beer but I was fine to walk. I pulled out my phone to see if I’d gotten any messages when I saw another anonymous email.

Subject: Don’t believe me?
From: Anonymous
To: Mike Higgens

I warned you but you didn’t listen. I guess we’ll have to prove that we’re serious.

It had come in a few minutes before midnight so I figured it was someone that was bored on a Friday night. I even thought maybe it was Colin or Josh, jealous of the time I spent with Brett.

I didn’t think either of them would actually hurt me so I shoved my phone back into my pocket and quickly forgot about it.

My floor was particularly quiet for a Friday night. Either everyone went to bed early or they were still out partying because I didn’t pass a single person from the time I entered the building to the time I walked into my dark room. I flung the door open and walked straight to my laptop, intent on doing a little work before I passed out for the night.

When I didn’t hear my door slam behind me, I looked up. There were two huge shadows in my doorway. They slipped in and shut the door quietly as I stood in shock. I tried to make my mouth ask who they were but I couldn’t get any words out. The only light in the room was from my login screen and I couldn’t see enough to recognize either of my visitors.

Before any words could actually leave my mouth, I felt a steel fist slam into it. I’d never been punched full-on in the face before. It was excruciating. I used my tongue to account for each of my teeth as I felt a second blow hit the side of my head.

I had been knocked
around by bullies before but this was different. This felt personal. I had no idea what I’d done to piss off these guys so badly but they were out for blood and I didn’t disappoint. I could feel the warm liquid pouring out of my nose and from the side of my face. I tried to protect my head but they were kicking and punching from every direction. Their voices sounded far away but I think it was just my mind trying to escape.

Rough hands grabbed my ankles and straightened out my body.

“You like to fuck guys, huh? Well, let’s see if you like this.” I felt jostling around my belt and knew that it had been released.

“What the fuck are you doing?” the other voice asked with an edge of panic. “You said you just
wanted to give him a warning not...whatever the hell you’re doing.”

“I just want to see how much he likes it. Maybe my fist up his ass will keep his dick out of places it doesn’t belong.”

None of the words I was hearing made sense. I knew my pants were down but I couldn’t feel anymore. I’d checked out. The voices that were arguing above me got fainter.

When the sweet escape of darkness finally found me, I ran to it. I didn’t want to look for the light. I wanted to stay in that dark and numb place for the rest of my life, which I assumed would be counted down in minutes rather than years.

“Mike! Oh, my God, Mike! Wake up. What happened?” I could hear a new voice but I didn’t want to go to it. I wanted to stay in my cocoon of oblivion and never wake up. It was too humiliating. Too much pain. I didn’t even know exactly what happened but I knew it was bad.

“My roommate was attacked. He isn’t waking up. Yes, he has a pulse but he’s in bad shape.
Miller Hall. 317. Please hurry.”

There was scrambling and I felt hands on my face and shoulders. I was becoming more aware of the fact that Brett had found me in our room after...whatever had happened. I didn’t want to ever open my eyes again but the frantic tone in his voice made me want to reassure him that I wasn’t dead, even though I wished for it as the pain started to come back.

“I’m okay,” I mumbled but it might not have been coherent. My ears were ringing so even my own voice sounded distant.

“Mike, can you hear me? What happened? Who did this to you?” He had one arm cradled under my shoulders and when I groaned in acknowledgment, he pulled me into his chest. Despite the fact that he was a dude, he was also my friend and I appreciated his comfort. I let myself lean into him while I took stock of all the places that hurt. I remembered the blood from my nose so I assumed it was broken,
along with at least a few ribs. My head pounded and felt foggy so I figured that was a concussion from the blows I took. I tried to wiggle my fingers and fire shot up my right arm. Something was definitely wrong there. As I became fully conscious, I felt the full weight of the pain and humiliation of having Brett find me like that. My stomach turned and I spit out the word “Sick” just in time to push off his chest and vomit on myself. I probably would have choked to death if he hadn’t been there to roll me on my side. He was still rubbing my back and talking quietly to me when the paramedics arrived.

I was lifted onto a gurney and I knew Brett was explaining what he’d walked into but I couldn’t bear to hear the words that described the worst experience of my life. I let unconsciousness take me again and prayed this time it’d do the job right and not let me wake up.

Chapter 3

No such luck. I heard the quiet hum of machines and heavy breathing that wasn’t my own. I cracked my eyes just enough to see bright light and a window that was on the wrong side of the room. That’s when the memory came back and I realized I was in a hospital.

After avoiding consciousness for as long
as possible, I finally opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was the top of Brett’s head resting against the side of my wrist. I lifted my left hand just enough to get his attention and his head shot up and looked straight at me.

“Hey, you’re awake,” he said with faint smile. He looked almost as bad as I felt. “Are you okay? Do you need me to call a nurse?” He reached for the nurse’s button but I shook my head.
Bad idea.

“No, no nurse,” I groaned. “I’m okay.
Thirsty.” Brett jumped up to pour a cup of water from a pitcher on the small table that was hovering over my feet. I could still taste vomit in my mouth and looked down to see that my soiled clothes were gone. When he put the water to my mouth, I took a sip. My lips were chapped and burned as they held the straw. The sharp pain of more cracked and bleeding skin was quickly forgotten once I swallowed. My swollen throat felt like it had been juggling rocks.

As Brett sat
back down, I realized that my breath must have been atrocious so I turned away from him. “I could use a toothbrush, too,” I joked, hoping to ease the considerable tension in the room. 
“How about you start by telling me what the hell happened?”

His face was a mask of anger and sadness. I didn’t really understand either and I definitely didn’t want
to talk about it but I knew I had to. I quickly recapped how I walked into the room and two guys walked in behind me and beat the shit out of me.

I couldn’t look him in the face. I knew there was
more to the story but I couldn’t remember anything else, thankfully.
“Your pants were off when I found you. Did they do anything else to you?” he asked quietly. I lifted my hand to my face and tried to hide behind it. There are no words to describe the shame I felt in that moment.

I didn’t even know if I was still a virgin. I’d never hoped for anyt
hing more desperately. I shrugged my shoulders but didn’t look up. He rested a hand on my leg and squeezed. It was such an intimate gesture that I had to peek at him between my fingers. His eyes were glistening and looked even brighter than before. Like the bluest sky on a warm summer day. They were always warm but they appeared to be glowing.

“You can tell me. I know it’s hard to talk about but I need to know what happened.”

“I don’t remember. I think they planned to do something but I passed out while they were still talking. I don’t know what happened. I should have told you yesterday...” I trailed off, thinking that maybe this was some kind of hazing scenario gone bad. Maybe Brett was pledging a frat that didn’t want him hanging out with me?

“Told me what yesterday? What do you mean?”

“About the emails. I thought they were a prank. I’m still not sure they weren’t. I think someone thought we were…together and told me to stay away from you. I don’t know. It still doesn’t make any sense.” He stood up and paced to the end of the room and back, clenching and unclenching his fists with each step.