His (Hers #5) (2 page)

I had no choice. I don’t really want a divorce. I just want her to pull her head out of her ass and take some time off, just like she said she would at Christmas. Another promise broken and more false hope of a different life.

I constantly opened up to her, explaining my fears, sharing the ghosts that haunt me, recalling the image of Cindy bleeding on the floor of the club. Except now my nightmares had Cindy’s pregnant body and my wife’s face. The crimson flowing from her body with no hope of saving the child we created together. The little girl I loved more than life itself. The little girl I would stop at nothing to protect, like a real parent should. Not like our own parents.

I’ve tried when it comes to Seven. I’ve tried everything: Bribing her, begging her, and threatening her. Nothing has worked. Nothing has changed. I feel helpless and I hate that feeling. I’m fighting and she just doesn’t care. Her selfishness is killing me.

My intercom buzzes and Seven’s assistant snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Mr. Parker?” Livie’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I’m unsure how Seven has tolerated her as long as she has. But, I guess the feeling must be mutual because Seven isn’t exactly boss of the year.

“Yes, Livie?” I answer and push some papers around on my desk.

“I just wanted to inform you, Ms. James-Parker has left the office on an extended vacation.” The line goes dead as my heart drops. Seven left and she didn’t even have the nerve to tell me herself? Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her as far as I did this morning.

I grab my cell phone and dial her number, but the phone goes straight to voicemail. I realize she has turned her cell phone off, cluing me in to the fact that I am probably not the only person she is on a mission to avoid. I hate not being able to get ahold of her. This is bullshit. Pure fuckin’ childish Seven bullshit.

I love her, but she is going to drive me crazy.

“FUCK!” I scream as my fists crash onto the wood of my desk. In a fit of anger I throw everything within reach. Glass crashes against the door of my office, paperweights crash to the floor and my laptop goes airborne, only coming to a stop when it collides with the door that leads into my en suite.

I run my hands through my hair and try to take a deep breath and relax, but it’s no use. Rage isn’t something I wear well. Rage isn’t something I am familiar with at all, but damn this fucking woman for driving me into this madness.

“Mark my words Seven James: This is the last time you play me for a fool.”

“Levi, I am going to have to be honest with you. No court is going to force her to do what you want. Your requests are outlandish and if she got one of those woman’s rights attorneys, they would fry you.” Fred explains over a cup of coffee, shrugging my requests off like nothing. What is the point of a lawyer if they can’t help you?

“I pay you a lot of money. There is no way you can find a loophole to get her back home?” I plead with him.

“Parker, I don’t know what game you are playing. Last week you had me draft up divorce papers. This week you want a court to force her home on bed rest because that is what her doctor suggested. What exactly do you want?” The question of the hour hangs between us.

“Fred, I just want my wife and daughter safe. She’s a stubborn bitch no matter how you slice it and I just don’t want her or my baby to get hurt.” I hate talking about this. I hate talking about emotions or sounding like a woman. But if there is anyone I can be honest with, it is this man who has helped me through my fair share of shit. Especially with my ex-wife.

“Levi, I know you have an interesting taste in women. Your first wife was a real doozie, but Seven isn’t going to roll over for you. She is going to fight back, and if you really want her to come back, relax and do what is best for your little girl… you gotta let her do it on her own. The more you push her, the worse off you both are going to be.” Fred makes a point, but I feel so helpless I don’t want to accept what he is saying.

“I get it Fred. So you’re saying I should just leave it be?”

“Yeah, she will come home when she is ready.”

I really fucking hope so.

The thought of Seven being god knows where with god knows who just to spite me hurts. It is like a knife to the chest, one I haven’t felt since I lost both of my parents in one shot. I throw back a shot of whiskey and bask in the burn. I want to be numb. I don’t want to feel anymore. All the pain is too much for me. I should have stayed away from her in the beginning. I should have kept my activities at Sinners & Swingers casual. Damn it all to hell.

I sit back and pour another shot. And another. Until the bottle of Jameson is empty. I am trying to wash away the memory of my wife, but all I can think about is her fuckin’ smart ass mouth licking the rim of a shot glass after throwing back a shot of whiskey like a pro. Her favorite.

The image of Seven appears across the room, haunting me with her presence. She isn’t really there and I know it, but my mind wants to play these fucked up games on me. I throw the empty shot glass across the room and it crashes against the wall, shattering into thousands of pieces and covering the hard wood flooring.

“I hate my life.” I mumble as I make my way to my empty bed that smells like the fuckin’ love of my life.

I jump from our bed, shaken by the nightmare that plagued me tonight. As I stretch across the spacious mattress, I expect to feel Seven on the other side of the bed, but she is gone. I should have known better. I went to bed alone and I would continue to until she finally comes back to me.

Tonight the dream was different, more graphic than any other before. The woman lying on the floor of the fetish club bleeding had Seven’s deliciously curvy body. Tattoos colorful and peaking out of every piece of exposed skin, but her face didn’t match the body I loved so much. Her face was one I couldn’t help but hate with a passion. Seven’s long dark hair was replaced by highlighted blonde curls, and the botox my money had paid for. The face that donned my wife’s body was none other than that evil bitch Layna I had been married to for so long.

Was it an omen of some type? A prediction of what Seven and I were in for? Would my marriage once again come to an end, leaving me destined to be alone for the rest of my life?

I couldn’t tell you what it all meant, but it scared the shit out of me. The bed is drenched in sweat and even though the clock only reads four in the morning there is no way I will be able to go back to sleep with those images filling my mind. I wonder if Seven is okay, wherever she is.

Every night has become my own personal hell since she left. No matter what I do before bed, no matter how much I try to push my wife and daughter from my mind, the dreams always repeat.

I have two options, and neither are going to be pleasant.

One; I could kidnap Seven and force her to come back home. Which, knowing Seven, wouldn’t end well for me.

Two, I could chase her again; but that is something I vowed I would never do again.

Seven

Past

It was only a few days of rest and relaxation until Star eloped with Chrome. I was internally grateful they left because the whole ‘disgustingly in love’ thing they had going on only poured salt into my wounds. I would never outwardly admit it, but I missed Levi. It has been days since I heard from him, but I assumed he would have come chasing after me, just like he always did. Maybe that’s what I wanted. For Him to chase me, the same way he did when we first got together. Except this time, I wonder if I’ve pushed him too far.

All he wanted was for Marley and me to be safe. That’s it. Granted I miss the freedoms I had before she came along: The coffee, and the whiskey, my runs and time at the club. But, they were all small sacrifices to make. My life isn’t over, it’s merely more laid back until she is born safely. Something I want just as much as Levi.

My poor Paisley has been helping me around the house, essentially waiting on me hand and foot, even though I’m supposed to be here to help her with the girls. Scarlett and Magnolia are old enough to behave and keep themselves entertained, but obviously are still too young to be left alone. I cherish the time I can spend with Magnolia though, knowing everything that had happened in the past months and the relief I felt for Star when she finally found the daughter she was forced to give up all those years ago. I will always think of her as Willow though.

Paisley, on the other hand, has been through so much in the past couple months, and for the longest time, I was the only person she could confide in. We may never share the bond that Star and I have, but Paisley is someone I will continue to protect fiercely. No matter what. And I suspect I am the only person in her life that feels that way.

I quietly lay on the couch in the living room and I can hear Paisley arguing with River in the kitchen. They have no idea I’m laying here eavesdropping on their conversation and I’m pretty sure I’m a shitty person for doing it, but the room is still spinning and I’m not awake enough to get my ass up from this couch where I passed out last night.

The two of them remind me of myself and Levi. They’re always bickering about something, but I think this time it is more serious. She’s young, and deep down I know she isn’t ready for whatever he’s looking for in her. He wants love and devotion and she needs to find herself. I quietly laugh and smile thinking about James all those years ago. Paisley reminds me so much of myself back then.

The door slams and I finally begin to pry myself off the couch to see which arguing party remains in the kitchen. I assume it’s Paisley just because she has been living in the house and River is nothing more than just a babysitter for the girls now that Star and Chrome are out of town. As I round the corner, Paisley is cradling her head and holding back tears. To the untrained eye, she would look fine. But, I have been through far too much with this girl in the past couple months to just leave her be.

“What the fuck was that all about?” I ask, as I watch River from the front window. The tires of his car screech as he flies out of the driveway like one of those annoying teenagers. God, I am not looking forward to the teen years. I rub my belly and send up a silent thank you that they are still so far in the future.

“He’s on the rag,” Paisley laughs, but I know it’s fake. Most of her recent emotions have been. She can’t fool me. I am the Queen of fake emotions. I grab a mug and pour myself a cup of coffee, the one fuckin’ cup I am allowed a day. The one thing that makes me feel less like death before noon. Paisley gives me a side eye, judging me for indulging in the coffee.

“Don’t even fucking start. I’m allowed two fucking caffeinated beverages a day and I will cut any bitch that gets in my way. Try me.” I’m part serious and part joking. She knows better than to come in between me and coffee. I guess my obsession has gotten a little more serious since I have to limit it.

“So, why’d you run away from Levi? Trouble in paradise?” Her words hurt because they are true. I hadn’t thought about it in those terms yet but that is exactly the problem. At the first sign of problems, I ran. It isn’t helping that this pregnancy is driving me mentally off the deep end either. Between the medical problems, and my anxiety rearing its ugly head after years of remaining dormant, it really is a recipe for disaster. But I refuse to tell anyone. No one needs to worry about us more than they have been. That, for sure, would only end with Levi tying me to a bed in a house made of fucking pillows.