His Forever (His #3) (8 page)

Hayden’s reaction wasn’t completely unexpected.  I’d known he’d be angry.  But
I hesitated to do as he said.  Instead I sat on the bed watching helplessly as he began to haul armloads of my clothes out my gigantic walk-in closet.  I struggled to come up with something to say, something that would calm him down just enough to listen to reason.  Meanwhile, he tore our room apart.

“We can’t take
all of this with us tonight, so pick your favorites,” Hayden instructed as he deposited a pile of designer clothes on the bed next to me.  “I’ll send for the rest later.  Henrik’s employees are far more loyal to me than him.  I’m sure they’ll pack up anything we leave behind and get it to us even if Henrik forbids it.”

The fact that Hayden was now calling his father by his first name wasn’t lost on me.

“Hayden.  You have every right to be upset, but do you think you might be overreacting?”  I ventured.  “Why don’t you come back to bed?  You’re exhausted and still trying to wrap your head around all this.  Sleep on it and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

“What happened to the woman who said she’d follow me anywhere?”

I sighed.  Sometimes we were both just too strong-willed for our own good.  “Let’s just talk –”

“No, I won’
t stay under his roof another minute.”

“Hayden, you’re being impulsive.”

“You sound like him.”

“Well maybe he’s right.”  I was trying to be as patient as I could, but I was getting a little annoyed.  “There are two of us in this relationship, Hayden.  I know you’re used to calling all the shots and vanishing at the drop of a hat just to get under your father’s skin but –”

Hayden stopped his rummaging and spun around to look at me.  “What did you say?” he interrupted, his eyes narrowing.  “How do you even know about the disappearing?  I never told you about that.  You’ve been talking to him, haven’t you?  You’ve been talking to Henrik.”

“Yes.  Hayden, I
know he’s a messed up guy.  He’s got all sorts of emotional problems and entitlement issues but he’s not evil and twisted like you say.  I think if you’d just give him a chance then maybe…”

I trailed off when I saw how upset Hayden looked.

“Who’s side are you even on?” he demanded, sounding deeply hurt.  “I thought I knew.  I thought it was a given and I could count on you to have my back no matter what.  But I have to say now I’m not so sure.”

“
That’s not fair.  I’m on your side, Hayden,” I reassured him, having to make a conscious effort to reel my temper in as best I could.  “Obviously,” I couldn’t help but add, irritated that he had the nerve to question my loyalty.  He was being melodramatic and a little unreasonable.  Though I was trying to take it all with a grain of salt, it was starting to really get under my skin. 

“Then don’t talk to him!”
Hayden ordered.  “Don’t ever talk to him, you understand?”

My eyes narrowed.  “You don’t own me,” I reminded him, bristling at the way he was trying to control me.  “
Just because I like you to take charge in the bedroom doesn’t mean I’ll take orders from you the rest of the time.  We don’t have to like all the same people but you never, ever get to tell me who I can or can’t speak to.”

He ran a hand through his
thick dark hair.  I could see the vein in his forehead sticking out like it did when he was really emotional.  “You’re right,” he finally agreed, sounding a little sheepish.  “Sorry.  I’m just tense.”

“
I know you are,” I agreed, calming.  I reminded myself that I should cut him some slack given the news he’d just been confronted with.  His mind must be reeling.  He didn’t need me to add to the drama.  “Come sit down and I’ll rub your shoulders,” I offered, patting the bed.

“No thanks. 
Let’s go,” he insisted, grabbing my purse and tossing it on my lap.  It fell open as he did and its contents tumbled to the floor.  I scowled and began to collect the various items.  Hayden didn’t seem to even notice what he’d done.

He was too busy searching for something.  His back to me, h
e opened and slammed shut a few dresser drawers.  He scanned his surroundings and, evidently not having any luck, asked, “Where’s the jewellery I gave you?”

My heart sunk.

He knew I’d want to take the jewelry set with me.  Of course I would.  It was precious to me, not because it was worth a small fortune but because of what it represented.  But he wouldn’t find it tucked away in a drawer…or anywhere else, for that matter.

“It’s gone,” I told him
, my chest feeling tight.  “I pawned it.”  I hadn’t wanted to tell him like this.  It wasn’t the right time.  But he’d left me no choice.  I could see the hurt in his eyes and quickly added, “I pawned it for a good reason, I promise.  I can explain, Hayden.”

“I’m sure you can,” he said in a voice that was flat and emotionless.  “You have an explanation for everything, Daniella.  You twist everything around so you end up looking
like the rational, noble one.  Hell, you’ll probably tell me I should make amends with Henrik because you only get one father, right?”

I didn’t like his tone.  “I do think that
,” I replied cautiously, “but Hayden –”

“Look at yourself!” Hayden cut me off, sounding exasperated.  “You have the audacity to lecture me about fixing thing
s with my father, but what about you?  You only see your family twice a year and hardly keep in touch with them the rest of the time!  You act like you’re so strong and mature, yet you’re so jealous of your sister it’s like you’re still in high school.  You’re hardly a poster child for having a well-adjusted family life.  Where do you get off telling me what to do when you don’t even take your own advice?”

“
That’s not fair.  My relationship with my family is different,” I insisted, stunned and hurt that he’d make our argument so personal.  It felt like he was on the attack and I just happened to have stepped into the line of fire. 

“Is it?”

I was at a loss for words.  Finally I hissed, “You have no right treating me like the enemy when the truth is you’re just too scared to take my advice.”  My words were designed to cut.  When attacked, I fought back.  I defended myself.  I went on the offensive.  I was Daniella James and good or bad, it was what I did.

“I’m not scared,” Hayden retorted, his ego probably a little wounded by the suggestion. 

I crossed my arms and stared at him defiantly.  “Aren’t you?”

We were both silent for a moment, our eyes locked and conveying emotions I didn’t much care to try to decipher.  It was almost reminiscent of the way we’d maintained eye contact as we’d had sex except instead of passion and love, all that existed
between us was anger and hurt. 

When he looked away, I felt abandoned. 
I’d rather fight with him than have him leave.  My heart called out for a truce but my pride wouldn’t let me say the words.  I stood there, frozen, as I watched Hayden struggle to make a decision.  Usually I knew what he was thinking but this time I had no clue.

“Maybe I should go,” Hayden said quietly, sounding
utterly defeated and very, very tired.

Oh, so that was what he’d been deliberating.  The words were like a knife
plunged straight into my heart, but I kept up a brave front.  If he wanted to go, so be it.  I wasn’t going to beg him to stay.  “Maybe you should,” I managed to reply, my voice trembling just a bit.  I tossed a pillow at him just for good measure.

He caught it easily and walked out the door with no goodnight kiss or acknowledgment of any other kind.  It was as though I didn’t exist. 
I couldn’t decide if I wanted to burst into tears or scream.  All I knew was that the beautiful future with Hayden I’d been looking forward to suddenly seemed a million miles away.  In its place was a mess I didn’t quite know how to clean up.  Every time I tried, I only seemed to make it worse.

I slept alone that night.  But really that’s a lie. 

Truthfully, I didn’t sleep much at all.  Instead I tossed and turned, going over our argument in my mind until I’d psychoanalyzed it to death.  I realized Hayden had touched a nerve when he’d said those things about my family – maybe because deep down I knew he was probably right.  I also realized I’d probably pushed him too hard too fast to try to reconcile with his father.  My intentions had been noble but my execution had been way off.

Just as dawn was breaking, I decided I’d had enough. 
Pride was an ugly thing and I wasn’t about to let it come between us.  We’d had our spat and now it was time to apologize.

I climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of Hayden’s flannel pajamas because after the mess he’d made of my closet, I had no idea where anything of mine was.  I padded down the hall in my bare feet, expecting to find him asleep in one of the many guest bedrooms in the mansion.

They were all empty.  Confused, I wondered where he’d gone.  Then the aroma of turkey cooking captured my attention.  Of course!  Hayden’s passion was being in the kitchen, so maybe he’d decided to let off some steam by doing what he loved most.  I hurried down the hall, eager to make up and be in his arms again.

Then I stopped short in my tracks.  The live-in head chef was standing there
in the kitchen peering through the window of the oven at a giant turkey that was cooking.  He turned around when he heard my bare feet on the tile floor.

“
Oh good morning, Ms. James,” he said.  “I hope I didn’t wake you?  I had to put the turkey in bright and early to make sure it was ready by lunchtime.  I was just checking on it.”

“You didn’t wake me
, and you’re welcome to call me Daniella,” I reminded him, not particularly comfortable with the verbal hierarchy.  “Have you er…you haven’t seen Hayden by any chance, have you?”  I could hardly hide my disappointment.

“Sorry.” 

I sighed and decided to retreat to the bedroom.  On the way there I ran into Henrik.  He was shuffling along in his housecoat and slippers, a newspaper tucked under his arm and a pipe sticking out of the corner of his mouth.  He looked every part a rich old billionaire.

“You’re up early,” he commented when he spotted me
coming down the hall toward him.

“So are you.”  I pulled Hayden’s baggy pajama top closer to my body as though it was armor.  Then I told myself I was being
unreasonable.  It wasn’t Henrik’s fault we’d had a fight, even if the fight had been partially about him.  No, the way things had escalated and gotten so ugly had been our own doing, not his.

“I’m always up at the crack of dawn
if not before,” he replied, taking a puff of his pipe.  “I haven’t slept past six o’clock in the morning in years.  It’s one of the joys of getting old, I suppose,” he added wryly.

The small talk didn’t interest me. 
“Do you know where Hayden is?”

“I thought you knew,” Henrik replied, looking perplexed.  “
He left late last night.  That was right after he threw his phone at me…but I guess I deserved that.  He missed me, anyway.  I don’t think he was even aiming for me.  I think he just wanted to prove a point.”

Henrik’s words sounded hollow to my ear.  It took a moment for their meaning to sink in and when it did, anxiety welled up in the pit of my stomach. 
I swallowed hard and then asked, “Do you know where he went?”

“The streets,” Henrik shrugged.  “That’s all I know.  I expect he’s back to his old tricks again. 
I’m trying not to meddle so I didn’t try to stop him or have him followed,” Henrik said with some measure of pride.  “But I must say I’m surprised he didn’t tell you where he was going.  I take it he didn’t react well to the news that I was behind the death threats?”

“You could say that.”
  I felt numb.  Flashbacks to the first time Hayden had left me were attacking my brain left, right and center.  Sure, he’d had his reasons for doing it that time, but that didn’t make the pain and humiliation I’d experienced as a result any less real.  Now those feelings were all coming flooding back.

Taking his pipe out of his mouth,
Henrik studied it thoughtfully for a moment and then frowned.  “I shouldn’t have made you tell him,” he said simply, showing more insight than I’d ever seen from him before.  “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” I said, blinking back tears. 
This was what I’d wanted:  for Henrik to learn how to be humble and maybe even to apologize.  But the timing was all wrong.  It was too late.  Hayden was already gone.  How could he just leave me in the middle of the night?

“I should go.”

“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like,” Henrik offered generously.

I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

“Where will you go?”

The answer came out of my mouth automatically, without me even having to think of it.  It was what I’d wanted all along…but not like this.  Not without Hayden. 
Squaring my shoulders, I raised my chin and looked Henrik right in the eye.  When I spoke next, my voice sounded clear and calm even if inside I felt dazed and panicky.  “I’m going back to Burlington.”

My return to Burlington was bittersweet.  It felt good to be back in my tiny one bedroom house in my comfortable, sleepy neighborhood.  It was far from a mansion but it was home.  I just wished Hayden was there with me.  The house had never felt emptier. 
I
had never felt emptier.