Hillary_Flesh and Blood (30 page)

“
I just wanted to let you know I
’
ll be stopping by on Sunday to drop off your backpack. You left it in bio, remember?
”

“
Oh, uh, that
’
s okay...I don
’
t need it back, just throw it away.
”

“
What are you talking about? Of course you need it. We have a test on Tuesday.
”

“
You don
’
t have to drop it off.
”

“
I don
’
t mind, we
’
ll just be getting back from Boston. We
’
re leaving in the morning to visit my grandmother for Mother
’
s Day.
”

“
I don
’
t want it Jax, you keep it.
”

“
You know, I
’
ll just drop it off on Sunday.
”

“
No! Go
d,
whatever
.
I
’
ll just drop by and pick it up.
”

“
What, now?
”

“
No, I can
’
t now...maybe Monday after school.
”

“
But what about
the
test?
”

“
I could really care less, Jax, I have to go....
”

“
Are you sure you don
’
t want me to just bring it to you on Sunday?
”

“
We won
’
t be home either,
”
Hillary lied.

“
Oh...okay then, I guess I
’
ll see you on Monday.
”

“
Yep, bye.
”

“
Wait
—
maybe we can go to the mall after that, maybe do a little
—”

“
Sure, I gotta go.
”

Hillary ended the call before Jax could finish her sentence. She had no interest in hanging out at the mall and even less interest in getting her backpack back. She was glad that Jax had the decency to call her ahead of time instead of just dropping by like she used to do. She had big plans for Sunday, for Mother
’
s Day, and she didn
’
t need Jax getting in her way.

Kathy stayed clear of Hillary for the remainder of the evening, but that didn
’
t stop Joshua from pestering her with questions and requests to play hide and seek. She was thrilled when her mother finally carried him upstairs to get him ready for bed.

Hillary, un
-
showered, in the same outfit from the previous day, fought the urge to go down to the basement. Instead, she sprinted to the downstairs bathroom. She had needed to go for over an hour and was glad to finally have the opportunity. Making sure
that
her mother stayed out of the basement was a daunting task with her mother always hovering nearby. Kathy had spent a good part of the day cleaning the entire kitchen and reorganizing the cabinets and pantry, much to Hillary
’
s chagrin. This was only her second trip to the bathroom all day long.

When Hillary returned to the living room, she was surprised to find her mother sitting on the couch. She stood as Hillary approached.

“
We need to talk, Hillary,
”
she said solemnly.

Hillary sighed. Why couldn
’
t her mother just stay out of her way?

“
I don
’
t want to argue,
”
she continued, holding up her hand to signal that she didn
’
t want to be interrupted,
“
but I think we need to be mature and rational about this.
”

“
I thought you were giving Joshy a bath,
”
Hillary replied.

“
I just put him to bed, I
’
ll give him a bath tomorrow...do you think it
’
s possible?
”

“
To give him a bath tomorrow?
”
Hillary asked snidely, just to be annoying.

“
Hillary, please!
”
her mother begged, raising her voice just a bit.

“
It
’
s
too frustrating to talk to you…
you don
’
t believe anything I say.
”

“
Okay, let
’
s try it a different way. Without mentioning anything about your father being abusive in any way, can you just
t
ell me what happened to him?
”

“
I killed him, Mom...I chopped him up into little pieces and disposed of the body. Is that what you want to hear?
”

Though being truthful, Hillary said it so facetiously that it sounded ludicrous.

Kathy broke down and sobbed.

“
I can
’
t take it anymore, Hillary...it
’
s driving me crazy. I just need to know.
”

“
They
’
re gone, Mom, that
’
s all.
”

“
I don
’
t understand why...why would they just leave like that?
”

“
I
’
m not a psychologist, I don
’
t know. Why does anyone just leave? I told you why before, but you said not to bring anything up about, well...that
’
s why, and that
’
s all I
’
m going to say. U
nless you want me to just lie…
I could say Dad met a younger woman and ran off with her, would that make you feel better?
”

“
It
’
s not just Dad...it
’
s Lee Lee....
”
Kathy became choked up as she spoke her youngest daughter
’
s name. She missed her so much. It was Caleigh that she was truly worried for. She knew that Michael had a history of just taking off only to return unexpectedly months later. But why would he take Caleigh?

“
I don
’
t know what to say, Mom...I miss Lee Lee too....
”

Hillary cast her eyes down and pouted as if saddened by her sister
’
s departure. She had another opportunity to demonstrate her innocence. This time she wouldn
’
t fail.

“
I don
’
t mean to put pressure on you, honey,
”
Kathy said sympathetically,
“
but if you know anything, anything at all, please let me know.
”

Hillary thoug
ht about her screwed-up life, h
er lost youth, her lost innocence. Before she knew it, tears were st
re
aming down her face.

“
No, Mom,
”
she said sadly,
“
I don
’
t know anything.
”

“
Okay,
”
Kathy said, hugging Hillary tightly,
“
that
’
s all I needed to know.
”

“
Mom?
”

Kathy stepped back and looked deeply into Hillary
’
s stormy eyes.

“
Yes sweetheart?
”

Does she have something to confess?
Kathy wondered. More than anything, she wanted to believe Hillary, to believe that Michael just left with Caleigh and that Hillary had nothing to do with their disappearance. Yet, she just couldn
’
t shake the feeling that Hillary was involved somehow
—
and not just that she had threatened to call the cops.

“
I
’
m sorry that I hurt your hand,
”
Hillary said, in a
low, quivering
voice,
“
I just got so angry, so frustrated, and...and I miss Lee Lee too.
”

“
I know, baby, I
’
m sure we
’
ll see her again soon.
”

Even the forced smile on Kathy
’
s face could not conceal the doubt in her voice. She wanted to believe that she would see Caleigh again, but deep down she had a sickening feeling that she would never see her daughter again. She hated to even think about it. She suppressed her overwhelming urge to start sobbing. She had to be strong, not just for herself, but for Hillary and Joshua too.

“
I
’
m sure you
’
re right,
”
Hillary said, wiping the tears off her cheeks.

“
I
’
m glad we had this talk,
”
Kathy said, with a genuine smile.

“
Me too. I feel much better now.
”

“
There
’
s just one thing more.
”

God, can
’
t she quit while she
’
s ahead?
Hillary thought angrily, but kept a thin smile on her face.

“
What?
”
she asked softly.

“
I don
’
t want you quitting school, Hillary, you
’re too young
and
you need your education.
”

“
But I have to work, how will we
—”

“
Let me worry about how we
’
ll get b
y
, we
’
ll find a way.
”

“
But I,
”
Hillary paused. There was no point in arguing. She knew she
’
d get her way in the end anyway.

“
Okay, Mom,
”
she said agreeably,
“
maybe I could work part-time after school.
”

Kathy nodded, pleased that she had gotten through to Hillary. Perhaps all hope wasn
’
t lost after all.

“
That sounds like a perfect compromise.
”

There was a long, awkward silence between them. The air was growing tense. Finally, Hillary blurted out,
“
why don
’
t we have a picnic in the woods tomorrow? It would be nice, don
’
t you think?
”

Kathy thought a moment then nodded.

“
You know, that
’
s a great idea. We can run over to Charlie
’
s Deli and pick up a bunch of cold cuts, Italian bread and salads. It
’
ll be fun.
”

Hillary smiled excitedly. She had no intention of accompanying her mother to Charlie
’
s Deli. She would come up with an excuse to stay behind. It would give her a chance to finally check up on Caleigh
again
. She hoped her sister was still alive.

“
I can
’
t wait,
”
she said, her bright eyes sparkling in anticipation.

“
I love you, Hillary...you know that, don
’
t you?
”
Kathy asked. There was a
pronounced
sadness in her eyes as she used her hand to gently brush wisps of hair away from Hillary
’
s forehead.