Highland Wolf (21 page)

“Aye, some of it. Ye didnae kill my mother, did ye?”

“Nay, MacKay did.”

“Weel, that doesnae surprise me. He was always killing people.”

“And so what do ye think, Meggie-mine?” asked James. “Are ye ready to accept me as your father or are we going to have to discuss it a wee bit more?”

Meggie chewed her lip as she studied the man seated before her. “Ye didnae leave because I was a bad girl?”

“Nay! I left because it was the only way I could stay alive to try and clear my name and regain my child and my land,” he said. “I would ne’er have left ye just because ye did something naughty.”

She looked at his wounds and then smiled. “Weel then, we had best let Big Marta fix those wounds as I cannae have my da bleeding all o’er the place.”

James took her into his arms and held her tightly for a moment, kissing the top of her head. He felt tears sting his eyes but blinked them away, knowing that Meggie could easily misinterpret them. When she started to wriggle in his hold he let her go, knowing it would take time for acceptance to become the love of a child for her father.

“I think Annora needs tending to, Big Marta.” Meggie sat down by Annora and very gently began to stroke her hair. “Dinnae ye worry, Annora. We will see that ye are made all better.”

“That would be nice,” said Annora and then slowly began to slide off the bench, unable to hold back the blackness that had been nudging at her for so long.

James cried out and reached for her, but to his surprise Tormand caught her up in his arms. Before he could say anything he and Annora were hurried up to their bedchambers so that their injuries could be attended to. It was several hours before his
wounds were cleaned and stitched and the business of what to do with some of the more immediate problems of Dunncraig were tended to and James was able to turn his full attention on how Annora was faring.

“Did ye see her?” he asked Tormand as his brother strolled into the room.

“Aye, she is sleeping. None of her injuries are serious, just painful.”

“I dinnae ken how ye could let her come into Dunncraig with ye when she was so badly beaten.”

Tormand sat down on the side of the bed and began to tell James all that had happened since he had been taken captive by Donnell. “So, Brother, ye can see that when the lass decides she has to do something, there is nay stopping her.”

Moved by all Annora had done to help him, James was speechless for a moment. To put herself at such risk and push on despite all the pain she had to have been in had to mean that she cared for him. That lightened James’ heart in a way he found a little embarrassing if pleasurable. He wanted to see her right away, but knew he had to take care with his own wounds. Lying back in his bed, he came to a decision about Annora. He was never going to let her leave him. He just hoped he could make her agree with that plan.

It took only two days for James to realize that he was going to have to fight hard to get what he wanted. Annora had only come to see him a few times while he had suffered through a short but fierce bout of fever, and he had sensed a difference in her. He had told himself not to read too much into her formal manner as she was still stiff from the results of her beating and she might need some time to accept the change in his circumstances. That lie did not work to calm his growing fear anymore. Annora was slowly but surely pulling away from him.

“She is thinking of running away, isnae she?”

When Tormand just shrugged, James scowled at him. There was an all too familiar glint in Tormand’s mismatched eyes. His brother was anticipating some entertainment in watching James fumble about trying to hold fast to the woman he wanted. There was nothing the Murray men liked more than watching one of their brethren struggle in the pursuit of his woman. Once James felt confident that he was back to his full strength he was going to pound Tormand into the ground. His younger brother was in sore need of being taught some respect for his elders.

“Where is she?” he demanded, fighting to use the sort of commanding voice even Tormand might feel inclined to obey.

“With Meggie in the gardens,” Tormand replied, grinning when James cautiously stood up and had to grab hold of the bedpost to keep from falling. “Need some help?” he asked, knowing the offer would be refused.

“Nay, I am fine,” snapped James as he fought against the urge to fall to his knees.

“Of course ye are,” he drawled. “I dinnae think ye are in any condition to hunt her down. Ye would just fall on your face in the dirt by the time ye reached her, and that isnae an image a mon wishes to present to his lover.”

“Weel, I cannae just lie here and let her run off.”

“She willnae run away whilst ye are still weak and healing from your wounds.”

“I am nay weak,” James grumbled even though he knew full well that he was. “I have but been abed for too long. Makes a mon unsteady.”

“Of course it does.”

“T’will pass in but a few moments.”

“Of course it will.”

“Shut your mouth. Wait, hesitate to obey that order until ye tell me why ye think she willnae run until I appear strong and hale again.”

“As I said, ’tis because ye are still recovering from a wound.”

James found a seed of hope in those words, but it was a very small one. Annora could be lingering at Dunncraig because she needed to see that he was fully recovered before she went away, might even think to care for his poor, battered hide now and again, although he had seen very little of her since everyone had decided he would live. She could also feel that it was her responsibility to continue to care for Meggie until he was able to find his daughter a new nursemaid, aside from Annie. Since MacKay had often used Annora as his lady of the keep, ordering her to see to the care of his guests, Annora could simply be continuing that chore now. He had to find a way to hold her firmly at Dunncraig until he was healed enough to catch her if she ran.

Feeling a little steadier, James took a few cautious steps, wincing a bit at the pull on the still raw wound at his side caused by each step. The stitches had been removed but the wound still ached when he moved too quickly. Considering all he intended to do the moment he got his hands on Annora, James knew he needed a few more days to mend. A man needed to be at his full strength and able to move with some grace when he loved his woman into a stupor. He looked at a grinning Tormand as he sat back down on his bed and struggled not to give away how weak he felt and could tell by the glint of concern and sympathy in his brother’s eyes that he was not hiding it well at all.

“Keep her at Dunncraig, Tormand,” James told his brother.

“E’en if she wishes to leave?” asked Tormand, moving to pour James a tankard of strong, dark ale.

“Aye, e’en then. Lock her in the cursed dungeon if ye have to.” James took a deep drink, welcoming the way the strong ale quickly began to ease his pain and the tension that concern about Annora had roused in him.

Tormand laughed softly. “I dinnae think your wooing will go verra weel if ye imprison her.”

“It willnae go weel if I have to hunt her down, either. I dinnae ken why I think so, but I truly believe that Annora can be verra good at hiding.”

“’Tis possible. I suspicion the poor lass has had far too many moments in her life that taught her the trick of it. Aye, especially the one where she can seem to just fade into her surroundings.”

James nodded slowly. “I fear so. She worries too cursed much about being bastard born and lets the attitudes of self-righteous, or just cruel, people hurt her and make her think less of herself. Aye, and far too many of her cursed kin have done more than speak to her unkindly. MacKay beat her from time to time, at least once so severely that that bastard Egan actually stepped in and stopped him. One kinswoman locked her in small dark places for hours as a punishment when she was a child.” He suddenly recalled Annora’s very strong fear of the dark. “If ye have to put her in the dungeons to hold her here, keep the torches lit and let Meggie visit with her whene’er she wishes to. And put her cat Mungo in with her.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Tormand said, “I would rather lie to a priest than lock her up in the dungeons.”

“Ye
have
lied to a priest,” James said absently as he tried to think of some other way to hold Annora at Dunncraig if she tried to leave before he was able to convince her to stay. “Cousin Matthew, I believe.”

“He isnae a priest; he is a monk. And I lied to him ere he joined the order. And it was a lie meant to spare his feelings. He didnae ken that the lass he had such strong feelings for was trying to bed down with every Murray within a day’s walk of her cottage.”

“Just keep Annora here. Watch her closely. Ye will be able to tell when she is thinking of running. The lass has little skill at hiding her feelings when she is around people she feels are no danger to her, people she can trust. She must ken that she can trust ye now.”

“Such as people who think to lock her in the dungeons?” Tormand ignored James’ glare. “Why dinnae ye just call the lass in here and talk to her right now?”

“The fool lass thinks she isnae good enough for me, so she may need some persuading to believe that I dinnae care about her being bastard born or her lack of a dowry.”

“Ah, I understand now. Weel, dinnae do too much and push yourself so hard that ye end up tied to that bed again. I dinnae want to be following Annora about too much. People may begin to think I am poaching.”

James was still shaking his head over that remark after Tormand left. He eased himself back down onto the bed, wincing over the ache that lingered at the site of his wound. Although he was weary of being so weak he had to lie abed for days, he also knew that rest was what he needed. Just as he closed his eyes, the door opened. He felt a
brief, sharp stab of disappointment when he saw Meggie in the doorway rather than Annora, but quickly smiled a warm welcome at the child. His smile widened when she skipped up to the side of the bed and grinned at him.

“How do ye feel today, Papa?” she asked.

Hearing Meggie call him father had to be one of the sweetest sounds he had ever heard, James decided. At times he was still stunned at how easily she had accepted him as her father, even though she had made it clear that she did not believe MacKay was. It was as if a small part of her remembered James for all those years they were apart even though he found that hard to believe.

“I am getting better,” he replied. “The wound is closed tightly now and I but need to regain the strength I lost whilst lying in this bed.”

“So that ye can chase Annora down?”

He laughed. “Aye, exactly. We cannae let her leave Dunncraig, can we?”

“Nay, we cannae and she is thinking about it, ye ken. She keeps giving me that fare-thee-weel look.”

“Fare-thee-weel look? What sort of look is that?”

“The one where she looks at ye and smiles but there isnae a smile in her eyes. She looks at ye as if she is making ye a memory.”

He had seen the look Meggie described and it had pained him. At first he had not been able to speak of any future because he had not been sure he had one. Then he had had to keep quiet because they had not had any privacy, something he suspected Annora had planned very carefully. Now he was denied the chance to speak to her because she simply avoided him.

“I have seen that look,” he said quietly.

Meggie nodded. “So ye must get better and stronger verra soon and then ye can chase her down and tell her she has to stay with us because we need her.”

“I intend to do just that, lass.”

“I can help ye. I am verra good at tying knots.”

James had to bite back a laugh. “I will keep that in mind but I am hoping I can convince Annora to stay here without having to tie her down to do so. Annora MacKay is ours, Meggie-mine, and I mean to make her understand that. This is her home and we are her family and she will stay put.”

“Are ye ready to hunt down your woman yet?” demanded Tormand as he entered James’ bedchamber three days after James had promised Meggie that he would make Annora stay with them.

James took a final look at himself in the fancy, very expensive looking-glass MacKay had bought to put in the laird’s bedchamber. The man had spent far too much of Dunncraig’s coin on such needless luxury, but for this precise moment, James was rather glad to have the looking-glass. He was pleased to see his red hair again as well. Putting the coloring in to make it brown and keep it brown had been an unending chore. Except for the scar on his cheek and a few more lines on his face, he looked very much as he had before all of his troubles began. Even naked he would not look much changed despite the ugly red scar marring his side. James just hoped that he looked like a man Annora wanted to love and marry. He knew she wanted him in her bed, but he was after far more than passion now.

“I am as ready as I will e’er be,” James replied. “Once the wound closed, my recovery was mercifully quick. Giving ye a wee bit of trouble, is she?”

“At times I think she kens that I am watching if nay the why of it. I swear that once she catches sight of me she begins to do the most boring thing she can think of just to see how long I can stand to watch it. I hadnae quite realized just how many boring things a lass has to do during her day.”

“I think she used to do the same when MacKay had guards watching her. They would wander off they got so bored and that got them into trouble with Egan.”

“Weel, tedious as that can be at times, today Big Marta set after me. She grabbed me by the ear and told me to stay away from your woman. My back still aches from having her force me to bend down for so long. It took a lot of vowing to behave and sweet words to get the woman to believe that I was just making sure Annora didnae slip away before ye got a chance to corner her and talk some sense into her.”

Laughing softly, James shook his head. “I suspicion Big Marta believed ye far more quickly than ye think. She just didnae let ye ken it for a while. That woman takes every chance she gets to put we poor muddled men in our place.”

“Then she must have heartily enjoyed herself today,” Tormand muttered, rubbing the ear Big Marta had so thoroughly abused. “I came to tell ye that your wee lass just returned to her bedchamber to prepare for the evening meal.”

“How wondrously convenient. ’Tis the perfect place to corner her.”

“So I thought. Want me to make sure that Meggie doesnae try to come round to see if ye have convinced Annora to stay yet? She has also been keeping a close eye on the woman. And the child has an uncanny skill at spying. Best ye be aware of that.”

James grimaced and nodded. “Aye, it might be best to keep Meggie watched now. I certainly dinnae want to try to explain my methods of persuasion to a girl of but five years of age.”

Tormand laughed but suddenly grew serious again as he paused in the doorway of the room before leaving. “I ken that ye must have suffered a doubt or two about whether or not Meggie is really yours…” he began. “With Mary having been MacKay’s lover for so long, e’en after ye were married—”

“Meggie is mine. By law, by name, and by the fact that I was there to hold her in the first minutes of her life. I dinnae care whose seed bred her.”

“That is good because it seems it was yours.”

Despite his words of denial and the certainty that he would have loved Meggie no matter what, James felt his heart leap with a joyous hope. “Ye say that with some certainty.”

“Weel, I was verra sure before as, despite that verra fair hair—which has some strong hints of red when the sun shines on it by the way—and those big brown eyes, she has a lot of the look of ye in the way she smiles and the shape of her chin. But the real proof is that it seems MacKay was unable to sire a child.”

“How can ye be sure of that?”

“I suspicion no one can be completely sure unless the mon has lost his manhood completely, say by the swing of an angry husband’s sword, but he ne’er bred a child.”

James frowned. “I thought I heard rumors to the contrary.”

“Most likely rumors started by him or Egan. Nay, MacKay has been bedding women since he was but a boy of twelve and has ne’er bred a child. A verra high fever
and spots when he was just turning from child to mon seems to have killed his seed. Those few bairns he tried to claim as proof of his manliness were bred by Egan.”

“That certainly explained his determination to claim Meggie as his own. Do ye ken, I think it explains why he was going to make Annora marry Egan as weel.”

Tormand nodded. The need for an heir to the keep he had stolen. Aye, and an heir might weel give the king and his advisers some way to make sure all of the people involved in this mess gain something in the end and allow them to think that they havenae wronged or angered anyone.”

“’Tis probably that knowledge that kept Egan safe from MacKay’s rages, e’en gave the mon a wee bit of power o’er MacKay although I cannae understand why MacKay didnae just kill the mon as he had so many others who discovered some secret of his. A mon like MacKay would have found his inability to sire a child verra humiliating. How did ye find this out?”

“A woman in the town who many saw as his mistress told me ere she was driven away by the people’s anger and scorn of her. She said that MacKay suddenly told her one night that he had bedded her for so long people were wondering why there was no child. He couldnae have anyone asking that So he made her bed down with Egan secretly for o’er a month until she got with child and then made everyone think it was his. He also made it verra clear that she would also claim the child as his and ne’er mention Egan or she would die a verra painful death.”