Highland Song (50 page)

"After we took care of the mercenaries, we went to the ravine," Ian said. "Lainie stood there covered with mud from head to heels, cut and scraped and bleeding from trying to dig you out. Tears mixed with rain and mud ran down her cheeks. She refused to let Ian or
myself
go down because of the danger to us."

Tension began to snake through Slade's body once more as he listened to Ian's story.

"She said she wouldn't have minded killing mercenaries to dig you out," Ian said coolly, "but she wouldn't risk people who had other people who depended on them." Ian paused watching Slade. "She said she didn't have anyone who depended on her or even cared. Is that true, Englishman? Ye dinna care about her?"

 
"You didn't let her go back down the ravine, did you? Slade asked in a harsh voice, wishing he could believe what Ian was telling him.

"She led us to where you were buried alive then she helped dig you out," Ian said flatly. "Lachlan did most of the digging, but when he rested she took his place and the mud just kept oozing into the holes. She cried and called out your name and still she kept trying to get rid of the mud."

Slade gripped Ian's arm. "Jesu! You should have gotten her out of there, made her stay on top of the mountain!"

"Would you have stayed where it was safe if she'd been stuck beneath a tree and you thought she might have been alive?" retorted Ian. "The two of you are a real pair of stubborn mules."

Slade shook his head. "No way in hell."

Ian's expression softened for a moment.

"Lainie opened a hole big enough for her to fit through," Ian said. "Only Lainie. When it opened up, she was through it before Lachlan or anyone else could stop her or even
object
. All that mud could have buried her alive along with you."

"What?"

"Somehow she shoved herself through that little hole. She started pushing the mud away from you, and then two more slides shook the mountainside. Lachlan yelled at her to get out but she didn't, she just kept on crying out your name and tugging on your shoulders. You think she'd do that if all she cared about was her own safety? If she felt no loyalty? No love."

Slade's hand clenched on Ian's arm hard enough to leave bruises.

"She didn't get out…" Slade repeated tonelessly. "You’ve been lying to me. Where is she? Where is Lainie?"

"The third slide left an opening that she could pull you through, and somehow she was able to get you through to fresh air. When Lachlan got to her, she was still pulling on you, crying your name, trying to save your life and to hell with her own. Is that a woman who knows naught of loyalty and honor?"

Slade opened his mouth, but no words came through the constriction in his throat.

"You may have found my little sister under questionable circumstances," Ian continued in a savage voice, "but she's more precious to us than life itself. I want the song in her heart to bring her only happiness. I think you hold the key to fill her heart with your song. And if you don't convince me she is precious to you as well, I…"

Eyes closed, his body shaking, Slade fought for control.

"She stayed long enough to hear you run off at the mouth about lying treasonous whores," Ian told him. "Then she washed up, put on a faded dress she's had forever, and rode out of here. She's had enough pain in the last year to last a lifetime and you have only added to it. Convince me you plan on changing that."

Slade put his head in his hands. He had thought he could hurt no more than the moment when had learned of Lainie's betrayal.

He had been wrong.

But Ian was still talking, and Slade was still learning how much pain he could deal with. Moisture filled his eyes.

"She left you a message," Ian said.

With a deceptively easy motion, Ian tossed the letter on his chest. "Don’t know what it says, but I’ll bet it will explain something to you. And here’s another little trinket for you to look at it."

Slade opened the small bag and pulled out the gold button he’d seen once before. Now he knew whose button it was. The tattered blue fabric the button clung to
was
that of an English soldier.

Bertram…

The agonized
expression on Slade's face made Ian regret
his harshness but only for a moment. He reached toward Slade, but the Englishman was already on his feet, walking away form the white parchment that had floated lazily to the earth where Slade had been sitting.

"Where are you going?" Ian asked.

Slade didn't answer.

"You’re going to leave Lainie alone now?" Ian called.

"To hell with you," Slade said savagely.

He wasn't going to stop until he caught up to the one woman who cared more for him than she did herself. He was a bloody fool.

#

"Stay in your room, please. It's more comfortable," Callie said. "The ship is nice but it will be your home for awhile. And I miss you."

"I can't. There are too many memories I want to forget. When I'm inside the castle, they all come rushing back with a vengeance. I need peace and quiet," Lainie said.

"I'm trying to understand."

"But you don't?" Lainie smiled hesitantly. "I don't think you can. My heart has been ripped apart. I feel as if I have nothing left to give. There is not a second in the day I don’t want to cry. And Lachlan hovers around me as if I might change my mind and agree to be his wife. I couldn't do that to him."

"Then it's not Bertram that's making you run away this time
? "
Tis Slade, isn't it?" Callie asked, cocking her head to one side as if she were trying to understand. “Why don’t you fight for him?”

Lainie shook her head. "No, 'Tis not Slade and 'tis not Bertram either. Did Catriona tell everyone?"

"Just your brothers. She thought it was time the truth was told, and she also believed they would not do something foolish as you should have believed in your family to help you."

Lainie gave a bitter little laugh. "I know Hawke."

"Lainie MacPherson, I would turn you over my knee if you weren't already hurting so much. You give me too little credit. I would have understood," Hawke said, walking into the solar in time to hear the end of the conversation.

"No, big brother, you would have sought revenge first and asked questions later. It was better this way."

“Who was it better for? Look at yourself.”

A drawn smile flickered across Lainie's face. She stood on tiptoe and brushed a kiss over her brother's cheek.

"You're a strong man, Hawke and a caring one. When I'm ready, I'll come home," she whispered. "I promise."

"You can't always run from your troubles," Hawke told her.

"I know that is what this looks like I'm doing. But I know what's going to help me feel better and staying here pining for what I don't have will only make me feel worse."

"If you've made up your mind and none of us can change it, we'll set sail at dawn. Otherwise you'll go off alone, and though you've done it before, I want to offer protection this time."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," Hawke said. "What about Lachlan? Do you have any room in your heart for the man?"

Lainie shook her head, a wave of guilt and remorse settling in the pit of her stomach. "I don't love him," she said simply, knowing it would be a long time before she would let anyone else into her heart or her bed.

"I thought I would ask." Hawke said. "Then it's settled. But when Slade realizes I've sent you to France and has to find a ship of his own to go after you, be sure to tell him it was your idea."

"Slade won't come after me," Lainie said. Then she turned and walked quickly toward the door that led to the hidden tunnel. She would sleep on Hawke's ship tonight. Before she left, she turned to Hawke, "You sure it isn't going to China. I wouldn't mind an adventure. France seems so tame."

"You're going to France where I know you'll be taken care of," Hawke said.

Unhappily, Callie watched Lainie until the door closed behind her.

"Why won't she stay? Callie asked.

"I suppose for many of the same reasons she didn't stay after Bertram's attack," Hawke said.

"But that was different."

"In many ways it's the same. Her heart was ripped apart this time. Last time Bertram took her soul as well as her peace of mind. She needs to separate herself from her emotions and put distance between herself and Aaron Slade."

"Men," Callie muttered.

Hawke laughed. His arm snaked out, drawing her close. He kissed her quickly and fiercely then let her go.

"All the same, I could shake Slade by his ears. If I thought it would help, I would do just that," Callie muttered as she put her arms around Hawke's lean waist.