High-Sided: An Armed & Dangerous Novel (12 page)

“Shit,” I hissed low. He was right. If anyone had the patience to sit around for hours, it was him. He’d done the same thing to me years ago when I told him I wouldn’t go on a date with him. He stayed on my porch for hours and slept on the swing. At the time, I loved his persistence. I had wanted to go on a date with him, but was curious to see how far he’d go.

Knowing he wouldn’t leave unless I made him, I thrust the door open, embracing the anger I felt welling in my chest. I needed it to get rid of him. Logan stepped back and I held my breath, taking in the desperate look in his eyes. For a second, I could feel my resolve slip, but then I remembered the hurtful words he’d said to me in the hospital.

“There’s nothing to say, Logan. If you want to say you’re sorry, then say the words and get the hell out of here. Other than that, I have no desire to see or talk to you.”

He looked straight into my eyes. “Saying I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it, but I am. I am so fucking sorry for what I did.”

“Great, you said it. We’re done here. Goodbye, Logan.” I slammed the door on him and locked it.

“Dammit, Kassie.”

“Don’t call me that!” I shouted, slamming my hand against the door.

He moved closer to the door and I stepped back. “I know you’re pissed at me, but I need you to hear me out. I’ll stay out here the whole night if I have to.”

“Not if I call the police.”

“They’re not gonna be able to do anything to me. At least, not before I get in there myself.” The doorknob wiggled and I gasped.

“What are you doing? You can’t come in here,” I growled.

“Yes, I can, and I will. If it’s the only way to make you listen, I don’t care what I have to do.” He fumbled with the doorknob again and I choked, stumbling back into one of my bar stools. I had no doubt he could get in my house, but I wasn’t going to be in it when he did. Grabbing my phone, I jammed it into my back pocket and raced to my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I had to get out of there fast.

I changed into a pair of jeans and fetched my black leather jacket out of my closet. My motorcycle and helmet were in my garage, but all I had to do was climb out my window to get to them.

“Kassie!” Logan called out.

The front door slammed shut and I sucked in a breath; it was time. Opening my window, I carefully slipped out.

Logan knocked on my bedroom door and tried my handle. “Kassidy, please come out. I don’t want to do this.”

As soon as I was out the window, I raced to my garage. Slamming my helmet on my head, I jumped on my bike and turned the key. The engine roared to life as I revved it and I sped out of the garage as fast as I could. Logan had no idea I could ride, but I wished I could see the look on his face when he saw me. All I knew was that I had to get away from him, and fast.

Once out of the driveway, I took a left turn, clearly realizing the lapse in judgment. It was the road I’d avoided ever since Levi died on it. “Dammit,” I cried. My eyes watered and there was no way I could wipe the tears away with my helmet on. The sound of Logan’s bike drew close behind and I panicked. What was I going to do?

He gained ground on me, clearly not stopping unless I did. More tears fell down my cheeks, especially when I arrived at the spot where Levi had been run off the road. I pulled over and shut off my bike, ripping off my jacket so I could breathe. Logan parked beside me, but I jumped off my bike and walked away from him to the dented guardrail. I took off my helmet and stared at the rubber markings on the metal. My fingers traced the tire marks and I broke down, falling to my knees. My heart felt as if it’d been ripped out of my chest.

Logan’s hands closed over my shoulders, but I smacked them away. “Don’t touch me.”

His touch left my body, but I could feel his warmth as he sat beside me. “I didn’t know you could ride.”

“Levi and Sean taught me after you left. It helped get my mind off things.” I tried not to look down in the ravine where Levi was found, but I couldn’t help it. The amount of pain he must’ve felt had to be excruciating. I slammed my hand against the guardrail and sobbed.

“I’m gonna miss him too, Kassidy. Levi was a good friend.”

Angrily, I wiped my tears away and scoffed. “How would you know? You left eight years ago, and never looked back.” I glanced over at his legs, only everything was too blurry to see. “Even after you started walking again, none of us ever heard a single word from you.”

He shook his head and started to touch my face, but held back. “That’s not true. In fact, Levi and I talked all the time. So did me and your father.”

I stared at him as if he’d lost his mind. “That’s not true. Levi would’ve told me.”

“I told him not to. That includes your father as well.”

I felt so lost; nothing made sense. “I don’t understand.”

Resting on his knees, he looked at me and smiled, only it was the saddest expression I’d ever seen on his face. “I kept in touch with them to keep tabs on you. I needed to know you were okay.”

“Why?” I growled, tears flowing down my cheeks. “You don’t love me, remember? You only said you did so you could fuck me. I still remember everything about that day, as if it happened yesterday.”

He clasped my face in his hands and I tried to jerk away, but he held me in place. “It was a
lie
, Kassie. I never wanted to leave you. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

“Liar,” I cried. “Why would you hurt me like that?” Closing my eyes, my lips trembled as I sat there, helpless. I had no energy to fight him.

“Open your eyes, Kassie,” he murmured. Reluctantly, I opened them and looked into his crystal blue gaze. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but I couldn’t let you give up college to play nurse to a cripple. I would have been a shackle, keeping you from living your life. I refused to do that to you.”

“So you made my decision for me?” I snapped.

Sighing, he lowered his gaze and nodded. “It was for the best. Believe it or not, you weren’t the only one in pain. But I wasn’t about to have you resent me for the rest of your life.”

I backed out of his grasp. “I loved you, Logan. Even if you were confined to a wheelchair, I still would’ve loved you.”

He shook his head. “You say that now, but you don’t know.”

“That’s because you didn’t give me a chance,” I spat, getting to my feet. “I didn’t realize you thought I was that shallow.”

He stood and held up his hands. “I knew you weren’t, Kassie. And that’s why I did what I did. I only wanted what was best for your future.”

I crossed my arms. “Let me guess . . . did my dad agree to this plan?”

Blowing out a heavy sigh, he answered me with a nod. That made everything worse. Two of the most important people in my life knew the pain I went through with Logan, yet never spoke a word about him to me.

“Why tell me now?” I asked, throwing my arms in the air. “It’s been eight years.”

“I wanted to come back after I was able to walk again. But Levi never wanted to talk about your love life; he figured it would be a breach in your friendship. I figured that meant you’d moved on.”

Lips trembling, I glared at him. “You thought wrong. I’ve never been able to get over that day.”

“Neither have I,” he murmured honestly. “Which is why I’m here, asking for you to forgive me. I’d give anything to take back that day. I wanted to be selfish and keep you with me, but I couldn’t. I know I hurt you and I can see it on your face, even now. You have no idea how many times I wanted to come back.”

He had no idea how many times I prayed he would. As pathetic as that sounded, I wanted him back. “Why are you here now?”

His gaze drifted to the ravine and his jaw clenched. “I’m here to find out who killed Levi.” He walked up to the guardrail, his expression full of guilt. “If I’d gotten here earlier, he might still be alive.”

“How’s that?”

He sighed. “Levi called after Ethan got fired and told me everything he said, that my accident might have been intentional. He wanted me to come and investigate. I told him I couldn’t. He was so angry with me.”

“
That’s
why he was upset. I couldn’t figure it out,” I blurted, shaking my head. But something didn’t add up. “Wait. I’m sorry . . . how would you be able to investigate?”

Logan rubbed a hand over his weary face, his serious gaze on mine. “I’m an FBI agent. I’ve been working undercover for years.”

“Oh my God,” I said, slapping a hand over my mouth. “I didn’t think you’d be able to after the accident.”

“I took a year off school, then doubled up each semester when I went back. If I couldn’t have racing, and I couldn’t have you, then nothing was going to stand in my way of becoming an FBI agent.”

“You always get what you want, don’t you?”

“Not always,” he whispered.

We stared at each other, and for the briefest of moments, I completely lost myself in him, in the possibilities. Then I tore my gaze away. My insides feeling numb. For eight years, I’d believed one thing, then he came back and told me something completely different. What if Levi hadn’t been killed? Would Logan be standing in front of me now?

For a split second, it felt like I could finally get closure, but the more I thought about him being back, the farther away that seemed. Anger welled up again.

“Kassie,” he called out, trying to get my attention. Huffing, I met his eyes. “You’re not gonna forgive me, are you?”

I lifted up my hands. “How can I? The only reason you’re back is because of Levi’s death, not me.” Tears filled my eyes and I turned away from him. “I’ve lost too many people, Logan. My mother died a month ago, and now my best friend. You say you didn’t want to leave me, but you weren’t here when I needed you the most.”

“Kassie,” he murmured, his steps drawing closer. His phone rang and he growled in frustration. “Yeah?” he answered.

I angrily wiped my tears away and turned around. He didn’t need to see my pain. The last thing I wanted was his pity. I could hear a deep voice on the other end, but I couldn’t make out what he said.

“Good deal,” Logan replied. “Meet me at my place later and we’ll get to work.” He hung up and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“Everything okay?” I asked blandly.

He nodded. “I have to get back soon. But I don’t want to go until we talk this out.”

I shrugged as if I didn’t care, even though I was breaking on the inside. “There’s nothing to talk about. You’re here for a mission and once it’s over, you’ll be gone. It’s all business as usual.”

“That’s not all I’m here for, Kassie,” he said, taking a step toward me.

I lifted a hand, halting him. “It’s probably best it is. So let’s get back to your task. What all are you going to do to help my father?”

His jaw clenched. “Are you gonna be difficult this whole time?”

Standing straighter, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Maybe. Then again, you deserve it. Now,” I said, waving my hand impatiently, “tell me about your plans.”

“First, your father’s going to let me put up security cameras around the shop. If anyone tries to do anything malicious, I’ll know.”

“Do you have any leads?”

“Not yet, but I have ruled some past acquaintances out. Whoever wants revenge on your dad, targeted Levi and Ethan for a reason. I just need to figure out why. I’m hoping by bringing Ethan back, it’ll piss those people off.”

“Isn’t that dangerous? I don’t want Ethan to get hurt.”

“Ethan knows the dangers and offered to come back willingly. I’ll figure this out before anyone gets hurt, especially you. Whoever these people are, they aren’t afraid to kill. I need you to be on your guard at all times.”

“I see you’re still the overprotective ass you were before.” The sound of his chuckle made my chest ache. I used to love hearing it, long ago.

“Always. Now get on your bike so I can follow you home. I want to make sure you get there safely. Then tonight, once I get done at your dad’s shop, I want to see you again.”

“Where are you staying?”

He nodded toward the road. “The same place I lived before.” Which happened to be right down the street from me; effectively making him my neighbor, since there was no one else to the right of my cabin.

I didn’t know if I was ready to step foot in his place yet. There were so many memories there. “I think you’ve said everything you needed to. What more could you possibly have to tell me?”

Gaze torn, he straddled his bike and sighed. “You have no idea. Now hop on your bike and let’s go.”

“What if I want to stay here?” I countered.

He started to put on his helmet and stopped. “Then I’ll take you back on mine. Your choice, Kassie.” When I didn’t move toward my bike, he set his helmet down, no doubt living up to his word. He’d strap me down to his motorcycle if he had to.

Rolling my eyes, I took a deep breath and got back on my bike. “Fine, I’m ready. Let’s go.”