Hers for a While (8 page)

Chapter Nine

After the honeymoon, things seemed to get back to normal. Jack went back to working double shifts and long hours, and school started was hectic, from lesson plans, to meetings, to dealing with juggling their personal life with work.

Sitting at her desk, she noticed a couple of texts from Jack. He was off that day, and she had plans to make him a huge dinner and to relax on the couch with movies after. He mentioned he would be doing some errands and work at his mother’s place, but would be home before she got there and that he couldn’t wait to see her.

Smiling, she replied with an I love you, and focused back on her calendar. The kids had already gone home for the day, but she stayed a bit after to get things in order. It was the only time of day she could have a moment of clarity. Packing up her things, she grabbed her purse and headed for the door, the principal stopping her in the hallway.

“Mrs. Turner, you’re still here?”

“I’m just headed home.”

“You’ve been putting in some hours. I just want you to know it’s not going unnoticed. I’ve had several parents stop by my office and sing your praises. Keep up the good work.”

A sense of pride rushed through her. “Thank you, Mr. Wiles. I appreciate that.”

She couldn’t wait to tell Jack, but when she pulled onto their street, she noticed several vehicles out in the street. They were some of his friends from the firehouse. What were they doing there? Clenching onto her keys, she yanked them from the ignition and slammed her car door. Stepping through the door, she saw Jack, along with three other guys at the table, playing cards and poker chips scattered on the surface.

Jack puffed on a cigar, his smile quickly fading. Alice didn’t say anything. Instead, she slammed her purse on the counter and walked through to the living room. Feeling his hand on her, she pushed it away.

“Babe, they’re just here for a little bit. We all had the day off so we wanted to play a few hands.”

She didn’t want to be mad. Jack deserved to spend time with his buddies, but it felt like they hadn’t had any time alone. “They planning on staying for dinner?”

Jack looked at his watch and she went to the bedroom, not wanting their guests to hear their argument. “Shit, Hon, I didn’t even realize how late it was.”

“You go to your mother’s today?”

Nodding, he took another puff from cigar. “Yeah, this morning. They came over about two. I can tell them to go home. I know you had this evening all planned out for us.”

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. How could she be bad at him? The look on his face was enough to tell her that he felt bad about them being there. “I don’t care that they’re here, Jack. Sorry. It just hit me wrong, I guess.”

“It’s okay. I’ll make them leave.” He began to cough and she noticed it was dry and unproductive. Bending over, for a second it seemed like he couldn’t gain control of it.

“Are you okay?” Stepping forward, she took the cigar from him.

After a few more seconds, Jack took a few deep breaths and the coughing subsided. His face was red and his chest rose and fell as if he had just got done running. “Yeah. I think I’m coming down with something.” His voice was raspy and he reached for the cigar, but Alice took it in the bathroom and extinguished it in the sink.

“Might wanna lay off of these.”

“Thanks. I’ll let them out. I’d rather look at you over their ugly mugs anyway.”

Smirking, Alice tossed the butt of the cigar in the trash. “I guess the honeymoon’s over.”

Walking into the kitchen, she had to make sure the guys didn’t view her as the villain. They were packing up the mess and she nudged one of them.

“I’m sorry guys, I hate to be the bad guy, but I’m sure Jack didn’t tell you guys that we already had plans. I’d love for you to stick around, but with as much as he eats, there probably won’t be enough food for all of you.”

Billy pulled her in for a side hug. “It’s all good, but Jack knows this tournament isn’t over. To be continued, right, Jacky Boy?”

Jack nodded and tossed him a box of the cards. “I don’t know. I’m already in too much debt. Don’t think I should give you any more of my money. Hell, I been looking at Sam’s cards all afternoon and I still can’t beat his ass.”

Billy patted Jack’s cheek. “What’s that they say? Stick to what you know. Fighting fires. Not cards.” Turning, he winked at Alice as they stepped out onto the porch. “See ya tomorrow.”

Alice prepared the meatloaf and potatoes. Jack had been quiet in the living room, and when she went to make sure he wasn’t mad, she noticed he had dozed off watching the news. He had been more tired than usual lately. Maybe he had a lot to do at his mother’s.

Grabbing his hand, she gently pulled his arm. “Jack, dinner is ready.”

He opened his eyes, confused at first. “Ah hell, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’m sorry. Need me to set the table or anything?”

“No. It’s all ready to go.”

Jack sat next to her and served himself a slice of meatloaf and sides, but Alice noticed he barely picked at the food. He usually devoured it in a matter of seconds – a habit he picked up from being on call, but tonight he didn’t seem very interested.

“Everything taste okay?”

He took a small bite. “It’s delicious, Babe. Thank you for going through the trouble.”

Suddenly her appetite had faded. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” He put his fork down and leaned back.

“You just barely touched any of it. You won’t hurt my feelings if you don’t like it.”

“You kidding me? I love your meatloaf. I’m just…” he trailed off. “Like I said in the bedroom – I think I’m coming down with something.” Pushing away from the table, he tossed his napkin on top of his plate and left the kitchen.

Alice watched as he went down the hallway, disappearing behind the bathroom door. Jack rarely got sick. In the time she knew him, she could remember a few colds, but nothing that kept him down for too long. She wanted to follow him, but decided to give him some time alone. Rather than immediately act like a mother hen, she cleared the table and put the food away. He loved the meatloaf leftover. Maybe his appetite would be back tomorrow.

After about ten minutes, she decided to check on him. Knocking on the door, she said, “Jack, you okay?”

The door cracked open and he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his head in his hands. Looking up, Alice noticed the bags under his eyes. “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t eat much. I know you worked hard on it.”

“It’s okay. I put it in the fridge so it’s not going to waste.” Reaching out, she skimmed her hand over his. “Need to go to the doctor?”

“Nah. Enough about me. We were supposed to spend some time together.” Pushing off of the tub, he clenched her hand in his and pulled her toward the couch. “What do you wanna do?”

Sitting beside him, she ran her fingers over the silver chain that peeked out on top of the collar of his shirt. Her hands moved around his shoulders, massaging into his muscles. There was so much tension and she pressed hard, watching as Jack closed his eyes and enjoyed it.

“That feels good, Babe…” he said as a small groan vibrated through.

She traced her fingers up his neck and back down between his shoulder blades. Sliding down onto the floor, he sat in front of her, her massage relaxing him. Bending closer, she kissed the top of his head, taking in his musky scent.

“I hate when you don’t feel good.”

“You’re making me feel better.”

Looking up, he lifted off of the floor and kissed her. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her down to where she was laying in his lap. She couldn’t help but giggle as he stared down into her eyes. The chain dangled and she curled her index finger around it, gently guiding him closer to her. Their kiss grew more intense, but just as it was getting heated, he pushed away and stood up as another coughing fit erupted.

This time, it took longer for it to stop, and Alice ran to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. He chugged it down, and finally, the coughing stopped again. He couldn’t even look at her and went to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry, Alice. I think I’m gonna get to bed. I need to rest for work tomorrow.” He kicked his jeans off and hunkered into the bed, leaving her standing in the doorway. Glancing at the clock, Alice couldn’t believe he was ready for bed just a little after eight o’clock.

“Jack, promise me one thing.”

“Huh?”

“If this doesn’t get better, please go to the doctor, okay?”

“Uh huh…” It was muttered and Alice wasn’t sure if he was awake enough to realize what he had agreed to. Watching him a few more seconds, she went back to the living room. She wasn’t ready for bed yet. She had too much on her mind.

***

The next few weeks were a blur for Alice. If Jack wasn’t at work he was asleep on the couch or in bed early. He tried hard to stay up with her, but the exhaustion won and it was normal to see him dozing not long after dinner. And the fact that he still wasn’t eating much made it where she wasn’t eating much either. The coughing wasn’t getting any better and his clothes were starting to hang off of him from weight loss.

Saturday’s when he had a tour made for long times spent alone. She wanted to get the house cleaned up. Maybe that was a factor – maybe there was something making him sick. She gathered up her cleaning supplies and went into the bathroom. Gathering up the trash, she dropped the liner and it went everywhere across the floor.

“Damn it.”

She bent over and picked it up, pausing when she saw several pieces of toilet paper balled up in the bottom of the trash bag. Was that
blood?
It was disgusting digging through it, but she had to know. There were about three different blood splotches on it and a wave of heat overtook her. What in the hell was going on? She was no doctor, but was Jack coughing up blood? Why didn’t he tell her?

She felt angry. She felt sympathetic. But most of all, she was completely scared. She put all of the trash back in the bag, but made sure to keep the bloody tissue on the top. How would she even confront him? He was definitely sick with something.

Washing her hands, she grabbed her phone and tried to call him. After a couple of rings, it went to voicemail. Why was he ignoring her call? Did he know something she didn’t? Why was he betraying her?

Sitting on the couch, she buried her face in her hands. She wanted to cry, but the tears didn’t come. She was either too tired or too infuriated to do it. The mixed emotions felt odd. At least his tour would be over in about an hour, that is, if he came home right after. He might know she was on to him and avoid her, but how would he know that? It wasn’t odd for her to call him while he was at work.

To her surprise, she heard the backdoor kick open. Jack pushed through, his skin pale, his brow sweaty. His eyes were sunken in and the bags were darker than she could remember. He looked worse than just that morning, and her heart sank.

“Jack?” Standing up, she met him in the hallway. “Babe…” Any anger she felt dissipated at the sight of him. Her nurturing side kicked in, and she grabbed his arm and helped him to the bedroom.

“Chief sent me home early. Said I looked like…” he paused to catch his breath as he sat down on the bed. “Said I looked like the walking dead.” Though he was having a hard time breathing, he still managed to smile. “I hate leaving… leaving early.”

Should she confront him about the bloody toilet paper? She fought with her conscience on that one. What good would it do? But at the same time, she wanted him to know that they shouldn’t keep secrets. “Jack, I was cleaning the bathroom and I saw the trash.” It fell out of her mouth before she had a chance to retract it.

His eyes widened and the goofy grin he held faded. “You did?” His voice cracked. “I uhh…” He smoothed his hand down the back of his neck.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s nothing. It’s a chest cold that’s running its course. And because I didn’t want to see the look you have on your face right now. You worry too damn much and I can’t stand being the cause of it all.”

He stood up and shrugged out of his jacket. Again, the simple motion sent him into a coughing fit, and he ducked his head, almost like he was trying to hide something from her.

“Jack?”

It was as if he couldn’t control his body, and his posture slouched. He finally looked up and she saw the blood on his lips and his eyes roll in the back of his head as he fell backward, falling hard against the floor beneath him.

“Oh my God, Jack!” His breathing was labored and she dug in his pocket for his phone. His eyes were slightly open, but he wasn’t responding to her. “Oh my God, Jack. I’ll get you help!” She dialed 9-1-1, the seconds ticking like hours as she watched her unconscious husband struggle to breathe. Grabbing his hand, it felt cold and clammy, and for the first time since she had known him, he didn’t squeeze back. His fingers lay motionless against hers, his usual tan skin a blue tint.

What was wrong with him?

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“We need an ambulance, and hurry. My husband fainted!”

Chapter Ten

Alice paced the waiting room, unable to take another minute of the game shows on the TV. Her mother and Jack’s had joined her, neither saying much as they played the waiting game with the doctors.

“Alice, dear, come sit down. I can get you some coffee.” Her mom stood beside her as she stared out of the window out onto the street.

“The smell.” It was all Alice could think to say.

“What?”

“I can’t take this smell. All hospitals smell this way.” She wiped her nose with a tissue and faced her mother. “And I don’t think I can drink anymore of the sludge they call coffee. I just want answers.”

“I know, dear. There’s a bad cold going around. And you said yourself – Jack is stubborn about the doctor. Maybe he just let it get out of hand.”

She couldn’t take any more speculation. She must have ran the possibilities through her head a thousand times, only to keep going to the worst case scenario. She even tried to avoid her phone to research things. It was more than a cold. Her gut was telling her that much.

Sitting down, she tried hard not to cry. His mother seemed calm as she flipped through a magazine. How could she be? Her son was laid up in the ER and they had no answers. Maybe it was patience she had developed after her husband died. All Alice knew was she envied how relaxed she seemed.

She took a moment to study the other people. What else was there to do to pass the time? Several people waited, each of them appearing tense, but not on the level she felt. A couple of kids fought over a cup in the corner, their mother complacent to the bickering as she talked with another woman beside her. A man clutched his wife’s hand and the breath caught in Alice’s throat. If Jack were beside her, they’d be holding hands too. Instead, he was being prodded and poked, and God knows what else.

“Jack’s tough, Alice.”

Ms. Turner spoke, her words almost an echo, like she was in a distant tunnel.

“I know,” Alice whispered. “He is.”

“It’s all going to be okay.” Ms. Turner patted her knee. “Why don’t you step out and get some fresh air? You look like you’re about to have a heart attack.”

“No, I can’t leave. I want to be here when the doctor comes out to talk to us.” She knew the moment she left, that’s when they’d have something to tell them.

“I’m not much of a praying woman, and I never really taught Jack either, but sometimes it’s comforting to send a quick word up. You did all you could do. You got him here. He’s getting treated.”

Alice wasn’t in the mood to be lectured. “I get it, Ms. Turner. The problem is that Jack has been sick for a while now and he should’ve gone to the doctor weeks, if not months ago. I should’ve
pushed
him harder. I should’ve
made
him go.”

“Take it from me, Alice. There’s no
making
Jack do anything. Don’t blame yourself for this. We don’t even know what’s happening yet. He’s a firefighter. He might just need a break and let his lungs recover from all the crap he breathes in every day.”

All the crap he breathes in every day.
The words hit Alice hard. Before she could respond, a doctor stepped into the waiting room. Despite the fact that the area was full of people, Alice knew he was there for them.

“Turner family?” He looked around the room and repeated himself. “I’m here for the Jack Turner family.”

Here came the moment of truth and after all of the waiting and pacing, Alice wasn’t sure she was ready. Standing up, they joined him near the coffee bar.

“I’m Dr. Stevens. You’re Jack Turner’s family?”

“I’m his mother and this is his wife Alice and her mother.”

Alice was grateful she had the composure to introduce them. She was too on edge.

“We have Jack stabilized. We’re going to move him up to the ICU within the next hour. As for what’s going on, we don’t have a clear picture of that yet. His O2 stats were in the seventies when he came in on the ambulance, and that’s a dangerous level. We’re going to run tests and do scans, but at the moment, he is stable.”

“Is he awake?” Alice asked. She was slightly relieved, but at the same time, they still didn’t know anything.

“No. We have him sedated at the moment. As soon as we get him to the ICU, we’ll start on the tests. We did do a CT of his chest, but that won’t come back for a bit yet. That will give us a clear picture of his lungs so we can see what’s going on to make his O2 fall so drastically. I’m sorry I don’t have more for you at this time, but the pulmonologist assigned to him will have more answers once we get him moved. We’ll have a nurse come get you once he’s up on the fourth floor, and you can see him, but it’s family only and only two visitors at a time.”

Alice felt like the doctor was rushing. Why wasn’t he telling them more? She wanted to yell out for answers, but before she could get her voice to work, the doctor left, leaving them to wait, yet again.

“We still don’t know…” she trailed off and sat in a chair, this time, the warmth formed in the corner of her eyes and the tears slowly trickled down her face.

Her mom squeezed her shoulder. “He’s stable, Alice. That’s important.”

“Yeah, stable on machines.” She wasn’t a person who panicked. Why was she on the verge of losing it? The room felt like it was closing around her, so she got up and walked up and down the hallway as far as she could get before they restricted it to hospital staff only. She went back and forth, several times, before they were informed that they could go up to the ICU.

“I’ll stay back. You two go see him first.” Her mother released her hand.

“You’re sure?” Ms. Turner asked.

“Definitely. I’ll wait out here.”

Alice didn’t care who went with her. She just wanted to get back there and get a glimpse of him. The nursing staff was busy hustling around, and she was oblivious to all of the other sick people in beds nearby. All she knew was that Jack was in bed seven and that’s all she cared about.

A nurse sat outside his semi private bed, studying a computer screen. His brow was creased, and she wondered if it was Jack information he was looking over. Noticing them, he stood up and extended his hand.

“I’m Dave. You must be Mr. Turner’s family.”

Alice shook his hand. “I’m his wife and this is his mom.”

“Good to meet you. He’s still asleep, but we’re weaning him off of the sedation, so he might be in and out of it for a bit. Feel free to stay as long as you want. Dr. Parsons is the pulmonologist assigned to him, and we expect him to stop by any time now.”

Alice felt the bile form in the back of her throat. She wanted a visit from the doctor, but at the same time, did she really want to hear what he had to say? Walking in the room, the breath literally got knocked out of her chest. Jack was asleep with a nasal cannula in his nose. There was a pulse-oximeter on his finger, as well as an IV hooked up to the back of his hand. She looked up at the readings on the screen above him, but she didn’t know enough to understand.

Standing at the side of his bed, she held his hand, making sure to avoid all the chords and lines hooked into the IV.

“Jack, it’s me, Alice. Can you hear me?” His eyebrows raised and his jaw clenched. Looking at his mom, she said, “He always does that when he’s sleeping and hears me.”

“He knows you’re here. That’s good.”

“Jack, your mom is here too. How are you feeling?” It felt stupid to ask, but she knew she had to keep talking to him.

Again, his eyebrows moved and his eyes opened, only for a split second, but enough that she felt he got a good look at both of them. A quiet moan vibrated in his chest.

“Jack, squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

His hand moved, and though it wasn’t strong, he responded to her. Though he was in this situation in intensive care, it made Alice feel a lot better knowing he was responsive.

“The doctor is supposed to come in here later. Maybe he’ll tell us what’s going on so we can get you better.”

Her words caught in her throat and she wiped away the tears before they could fall. His mother walked toward the door and patted his foot.

“I’m gonna let your mom come in for a second and get some food. You need anything?”

Shaking her head no, she kept her eyes on Jack. “No, thanks. I’ll stay here and see if he wakes up.”

There was no way she could even think to stomach anything, and she feared leaving his side with a chance that she’d miss something. She traced his hairline and fanned her fingers through his hair. He always liked that, and she hoped it would help soothe him.

“Your mom stepped out for a minute, Jack, but my mom is here now. She’s just on the other side of the bed.”

Jack turned his head, but his eyes didn’t open. It seemed like a hard task for him, but again, at least he understood her. Alice’s mother observed him for a second, and then looked up at the monitors.

“Everything looks good, Alice. His O2 is up to about ninety-five and his heart rate is strong. That’s good, honey.”

She didn’t say it out loud, but Alice wondered what that number would drop to if they took him off of the oxygen. She hated being so negative, but that’s when the truth would come out. Could Jack handle being off of the machines helping him breathe?

As if he could hear her thoughts, his eyes shot open and he immediately reached for the cannula, jerking his hand from hers to try and pull it out. He lurched for a second, acting like he had no clue where he was.

“Jack, calm down. It’s me Alice, and my mom.”

He lifted his head to get a better look at her, and he stared at her, blinking, like he couldn’t gain focus. The nurse came in to check on the commotion, but Jack had settled back down into the pillow, keeping his consciousness. Alice nodded toward the nurse and when he was content that the situation was under control, he left them alone again.

“Jack, it’s good to see you awake.” Alice forced a smile, holding his hand again.

“Where…” he coughed again, his voice gritty. “Where am I? What happened?”

“You’re in the hospital, Babe. You fainted back at the house. We’re just waiting on the doctor to give us some answers.”

He stretched his legs out and closed his eyes. “I’m thirsty. Can I have some water?”

“Let me go ask the nurse. I don’t see anything in here.” Alice poked her head out. “He’s awake and wanting something to drink. Can he have some water?”

Dave skimmed through a stack of papers and shook his head. “No problem. I’ll send someone to get him some. He’s got some fluid on his lungs so we need to keep him hydrated to keep it loose.”

“That’d be great.”

Fluid on his lungs? Did he have pneumonia? Maybe that’s what caused all of this. Though it still wasn’t pleasant, Jack could get over the pneumonia and get back to life. Maybe she was overreacting.

A young woman came in the room and handed Alice a cup full of water. She washed her hands and placed the straw on his lips. Taking it, he acted like he had never had a drink of water. He finished off all of it and Alice set the cup aside. She noticed her mom had left the room, and they were alone for the first time since bringing him in.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not bad right now. I can actually breathe.” He squeezed her hand, his pale complexion still a haunting sight. “Please don’t worry yourself, Alice. I can’t stand to see you with such worry on your face.”

She pulled up a chair and sat down, keeping her hand in his. She had to pick her words wisely. They were both exhausted and sensitive. “You’re in the ICU, Jack. How can I not worry right now? You’re my husband. Telling me not to worry is like telling you the same thing if I were in that bed and not you.”

“I’m glad you’re not. I wouldn’t wish how I was feeling on anyone. But I’m here and I’m feeling a lot better. I don’t even remember fainting.”

“Jack, it was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. And you were coughing up blood.”

Before he could respond, a doctor walked in. Dr. Parsons was stitched into his white lab coat, and a stethoscope hung around his neck. Alice suddenly felt the urge to puke. What was he going to have to say? Were they prepared? She held out hope that it was a bad case of pneumonia and he could go home in a few days.

Extending his hand, he shook both Jack and hers. “Hello. I’m Dr. Parsons. Jack, it’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling?”

“Not bad. Just wondering what’s going on.”

The doctor nodded and looked at Alice. “You must be his wife, right?”

“Yes. Alice Turner.”

He put his stethoscope in his ears and checked Jack’s chest. “Sit up for me.” Jack did as he was told, and Dr. Parsons listened closely before pulling the stethoscope off.

“Well, we’ve ran some tests and looked at the CT scan.” He paused as he leaned against the sink counter, folding his arms over his chest. “There’s something we caught that is a bit alarming. There appears to be a good-sized tumor in your right lung. You also have double pneumonia, which is a side effect of the tumor and the reason you fainted.”

There was no sugar coating it. Alice admired his bluntness, but it took her a second to process what he had just told them. A
tumor?
Looking down at Jack, he looked just as scared as she was feeling, his eyes wide as saucers as he stared up at the doctor.