Here at Last (43 page)

"Well,” Nicholas continued, "Sophia did a great job. She helped the girls play dress-up and even read them a story and tucked them all in at bedtime. Hannah adores Sophia," he told them.

I said,
"I adore h
er, too. She's a great kid
.”

My mother smiled for the first time in a long time. I hadn't seen her smile for years beyond what I would call a stiff-lipped grin. This was a woman who
had never
seem
ed
to know how to play and, if she did, it
ha
d been a long time since she’d done it – maybe
in
her childhood.

In fact, m
y father was so surprised by
my mother’s expression
that he asked, "Helen, what's wrong?"

She turned to him with a surprised look. “Nothing's wrong," she said. "I just always knew that Sophia would make a great mother."

I
felt
embarrassed
.
I wasn't Hannah's mother
, and
I didn't know if my parents
were aware of Rachel
, b
ut Nicholas didn't miss a beat. Slipping his arm across my shoulder, he looked at my parents and at me and said tenderly, "You're absolutely right. Sophia would make a terrific mother."

My father just shook his head, but my mother continued to smile at Nicholas and at me. It was in that moment that I understood that this was one of the few areas that my mother and I shared – the love for a child. She
had never gone to college and had
never understood my career or my desire for one.
Although
she was aware that David and I had discussed
having children, I’d never become a mother
.

I
understood
that s
he had probably done
her
best in raising
Rhonda and me
. Even though her love for us wasn't particularly obvious, I suddenly realized that it had been there all along. The only way that she knew how to express love was through
a
stern concern and general worry. Granted, she played the martyr well, but
it dawned on me
that
my one-dimensional view of her was not completely accurate.

When the tea kettle whistled, Nicholas excused himself and
walked
in
to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned with three cups of tea – one for each of my parents
and
one for Rhonda.
With
the
new realization dawning on me, I sat back in the sofa and began to relax.

Since
it was time for breakfast, Rhonda and I set the table
while Nicholas and my parents talked.

“I really like him," Rhonda said
under her breath
.

I looked up at her and smiled. “He's great
.”

“
Wait a minute," she said, her face turning serious. "Is he the one you were texting at Christmas?"

“The very one," I smiled. That seemed so long ago. She kn
ew
that Nich
olas and I had gone to St. Bart
s
, but I realized that I really hadn't told her much about him
although
she
did
kn
o
w about Rachel. “Rhonda, what have you told Mom and Dad about Nicholas?"

"Why?" she asked, looking slightly paranoid.

I shook my head. “No reason really. I was just curious.”

"All I told them is that you're dating a man named Nicholas
who lives in Chicago
and that it seems serious.”

I smiled. "Did they ask any questions?”

She shook her head sternly. “I think they're curious, but you know they never ask
about
anything."

Once the table was set, we called Nicholas and my parents into the dining room. By then, the three of them were pretty comfortable with one another although my father did a
sk Nicholas, "Do you do that
weird
vegan thing?"

Sitting beside me,
Nicholas reached under the table and
put his hand on my
thigh
. “My daughter and I both do."

My father just shook his head.

B
reakfast
was pleasant and, afterward
, my parents insis
ted that they didn't want to impose
. When they
began to leave
,
Nicholas was
very
w
arm with them, and my mother smiled again
. We all hugged goodbye, and I told my parents that it was great to have seen them and thanked them for coming over.
My parents walked outside toward the car.

As Rhonda was getting ready to
leave
, I thanked her for facilitating everything and for bringing us breakfast and dinner last night.

“Oh," she laughed. "It was worth it just to see
M
om smile!"

“I know,” I
grinned
. “Isn’t that something?”

“Watch out, Soph,” she told me. “I think Mom’s smitten with your new
man
.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. Nicholas walked up behind me and slid his arm around my waist as we walked outside and stood on the front porch. Rhonda walked to the car and got in and backed
it
out of the driveway a moment later.

I shook my head
as we walked back into the house. “Unbelievable.”

“That went well,” Nicholas said.

I turned and wrapped my arms around him, kissing him on the lips. "
T
hat's all because of you."





When
Neelie
texted me a little while later, I told her that there had been no
family drama
and no need for an intervention. She
was glad to hear it
and said that she wouldn’t drop by unless I needed her.
S
he wanted to give Nicholas and me some time alone.





The next few days
sped by
. I took Nicholas
to
New York and showed him around, and we went to dinner
and
an off-Broadway show.
We
drove
through
Morristown and some of the neighboring townships, like nearby Madison and Chatham
, where we passed through
beautiful
neighborhoods
with
grand old homes
.

On Saturday,
Nicholas
decided to stay
with me
through the following weekend so that he would be there
every evening
when I came home from my first week of work.
That
would
still
give him
a few days at home before needing to pick
up
Hannah from music camp.
Both of us realized that
it would
be a difficult transition, but he assured me that it was going to work, and I trusted that it
would
. After all,
relationships
only work when two people are committed to them, and neither
of us
doubted
our commitment to one another for a moment.

As we began creating new routines together, it helped to solidify the idea that we could make a long distance relationship work. Nicholas
had been very strategic in suggesting that he stay with me
long enough to
get to
know the area, where the grocery stores were
, and what the community was like. He
made himself at home in my house,
helping me with the laundry, dishes, and cleaning while we
prepared meals together
, took walks,
and cuddled up on the sofa to watch movies
.

By the time I began my new job on Monday, he was doing grocery runs and had promised to cook
dinner for
me every night that week. When I returned home from
the
long commute, he was always relaxed and attentive regardless of whether we were just spending time together, talking
,
or making love.





The following weekend, I
’d
made it through my first week of work, and
Nicholas
had supported me every step of the way. So much had happened that it was difficult to believe that Hannah's birthday party had only been
a
month
before. She didn’t even know that I was here although Nicholas had notified her music camp where to reach him in case of an emergency.

We spent Saturday and Sunday morning together. Around noon, I drove him to
the
Newark
a
irport and walked him to the security
line
. He took me in his arms, and we kissed. I didn't know when I would see him
,
again
,
but suddenly felt desperate to know.
He
pulled back to look at me.

“We can do this, Sophia," he told me.

I nodded.

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.
"
I know your world, and you know mine. That helps us know how we fit into each other's lives. I'll call you when I get home, and we can set up a sch
edule for when we’
ll visit one another.”

He
lifted his head and
searched my face, but I couldn't look at him.

“Sophia, please. Let me look into you one more time before I go," he choked up.

Placing my hand on his, I looked at him.

Then, he pulled me to him and kissed my hair. Closing his eyes, he said, "This
will
work.
” He smiled.
“
Don't forget to meditate
, and
d
on't forget to eat
.
”

I
smiled a little
.

H
e became more serious.
“
Trust in
us
, Sophia
.”

I looked into his eyes.
“I need
to know when I’ll see
you again.
”

“Okay
, give me
a date. I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

I held him tightly to me. “I’ll
fly to Chicago
in two weeks
on Friday evening.
”

He
laughed
. “Sounds great.”

“That’s just twelve days from now,” I told him.

“Perfect,” he said. “I’ll see you in twelve days.”

With that promise, we released one another
. Nicholas walked through security and turned to wave at me on the other side before heading
to
his terminal and disappearing from view.

I closed my eyes and inhaled. In
just
twelve hours,
I’d be getting up for work. “Oh, God, help me,” I prayed under my breath. “Help me get through this.”

Chapter
3
9

Nicholas called me that evening and told me that his flight had been smooth and uneventful. He’d had a wonderful time with me and couldn't wait to see me in twelve days. By then, of course, I had already booked my ticket and e-mailed
the
itinerary
to him
. I couldn't wait
, either
. I also thought that my upcoming trip to Chicago might make the transition easier for Hannah. After all, she'd gotten used to seeing me at least three evenings a week and, sometimes, on weekends. When she came home, Nicholas would have to tell her that I had moved away. At least he could tell her in the same breath that I was coming back.





Although the work week
went by quickly
, evenings were interminable
. Aside from missing Nicholas so badly that I felt like I had a hole in my
belly
, it was easier settling back into life in New Jersey than I’d expected. I’d be
come
so accustomed to living in an urban environment that I’d forgotten how pleasant the suburbs could be. Of course, the flip side of that was the commute. I spent
a total of
just
under three
hours
commuting every day. When I started the new job, I learned that there was a part-time telecommuting policy, and I hoped to take advantage of it.