Her Secret Fantasy (23 page)

She kissed him, on and on, holding nothing back. He was completely wrapped up in the taste of her tongue, the hungry rhythm of her mouth stroking his. His body burned.

His fingertips skimmed up and down the curve of her silken neck; she ran her hands through his hair, and then moaned gently when he cupped her breast.

“Oh, Derek—”

“I want you so much.” His whispered confession slipped out before he could stop it.

He kissed her again.

“Maybe you should stay here,” she breathed, pausing to gaze into his eyes. She caressed his cheek, with the most exquisite yearning etched across her beautiful face. “Maybe you should stay with me.”

“Maybe you should come with me to India,” he answered.

Passion ebbed from her eyes as shock at his words registered in their depths. He felt her melting body stiffen suddenly beneath him. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

She shook her head with a stricken look, her voice a strangled whisper.
“No.”

Her answer brought Derek back to his senses. He lowered his head and looked away. “This is not a good idea. Somebody could see us. You should go.”

He could tell that she was suddenly embarrassed. “I-I suppose you’re right.”

Without a word, he offered a hand to help her rise, but she didn’t take it.

“Derek, I’m sorry—”

“Never mind. It was just an idea.” These were his words, but he avoided her gaze, feeling as if he’d been punched in the gut.

Why was he surprised at her refusal? It was an unreasonable request.

But another part of him, the secret, wild, romantic part that would have done absolutely anything for the woman he loved once he found her, could not understand her denial.

He knew she needed money, but if love was real, the money shouldn’t matter.

He was beginning to think he would always be alone.

He could feel Lily staring at him, but he could not bring himself to look at her. Instead, he shut her out. A cold, knee-jerk reaction to protect himself. “You should go,” he repeated, trying but failing to keep the bite of hurt irony out of his voice. “I don’t need Edward calling me out.”

For a moment longer, she hesitated, as though confused by the sudden chill in his attitude, then she seemed to conclude mentally,
The hell with you.

She climbed to her feet without the help of his offered hand and stepped past him with a show of dignity, brushing little bits of hay off her dress. Then she gave a quick tug to pull her bodice back into place.

She picked up her bonnet but left the basket of treats behind for the horse. On her way out, she paused, glancing back at him with tears in her eyes. “Good-bye, Derek. Please try to be careful—in India.”

“Careful?” he drawled with a desolate twist of a smile. “Little glory in that.”

When she flinched at the thought of danger to him, he instantly regretted his empty words and paused. “Good-bye, Lily,” he said finally in a low tone. He might run into her again in Town, but he knew that it would never be like this between them again. This was farewell. “I hope your family appreciates what you’re doing for them, you know, because you really are—” he faltered, lowering his head—“the most enchanting person I have ever met. And I’m just damned sorry I’m not richer.”

She stared at him with a stricken look for a moment more, then she was gone.

Derek squeezed his eyes shut and spat the filthiest curse under his breath that he could think of in any Indian dialect.

“Good God, who died?” Gabriel exclaimed the second he saw Derek’s face when he entered into their apartments a few minutes later.

Derek just looked at him. “You’re coming with me next week to the Lundys’ garden party,” he informed him in a deadened tone.

“I am?” Gabriel leaned forward with a look of concern as Derek stalked past, stony-faced. “Why?”

“You’re to provide the distraction so I can slip away from the party and break into Lundy’s files. He keeps them in his home.”

“You’re going to do that in the middle of their barbecue? Why?”

“Because this is the best chance I’m going to get,” Derek ground out. “I’ll be
damned
if I’m letting her marry him until I can verify he’s not a thief.”

If he could not have her for himself, at least he could protect her.

CHAPTER

         
TWELVE
         

S
he hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself at the time, but the real reason Lily had gone to the stable was to see if there was any chance at all that she and Derek could be together, that he might reciprocate her feelings.

Well, she had her answer now.

It wasn’t the one she had wanted to hear, but falling in love had never been part of her plan.

And so she had made up her mind to forget about Derek Knight for once and for all—to stick with her original design and marry Edward.

If only he would ask her!

What the blazes was he waiting for? She was really beginning to resent being dangled on his line like this. He knew full well his hook was buried in her gills, but for some reason, he was letting her suffer, taking his time about reeling her in. She wished he would finally put her out of her misery.

When the day of the garden party rolled around, the brass band played cheerfully in the shade. Beneath the large striped tent, the drink flowed, sparkling bowls of fruit punch, barrels of amber ale. The food for the picnic feast, delicious and abundant, sprawled over the long tables.

Even the moody English weather proved agreeable.

All around Edward’s estate, the games and athletics were in progress as summer swelled to its verdant crescendo. Cricket and archery, tennis and lawn bowls, rowing on the little lake, and, of course, gambling on all of the above, along with much flirting and lively conversation. Those denizens of Society who had arrived with uneasy looks about whether this host really was too far beneath them had warmed up in time amid all the fun and frolic.

Lily was relieved for the Lundys’ sake—and for her own, as his future spouse. She prayed that neither Edward nor his mother would disgrace themselves, and so far, their first attempt at hosting a Society event was running smoothly.

For her part, however, she was tied up in knots over the prospect of seeing Derek again. It had been nearly a week…and his refusal to stay in England with her still hurt.

It hurt terribly.

But she could not possibly go with him to India! Surely he knew that. She wasn’t even sure if he had been serious in asking. Maybe this shocking demand was merely his way of getting rid of young ladies who became overly attached to him. She wouldn’t put it past the rogue.

All she knew was that even though he hadn’t left yet, it felt as if she were being abandoned all over again, painfully similar to when her father had sailed off smiling and never came back. In all fairness to Derek, truthfully, she was unsure how much of her brooding anger all week was directed at him and how much was left over from her sire’s absence from her life, but it hardly mattered now.

The plain fact was his military career was more important to him than the possibility of a life and a love and a future with her, and it left her feeling like she simply didn’t matter.

At least she mattered to Edward.

Well, it was Derek’s loss if he wasn’t smart enough to know what he was missing out on, she thought morosely as she stood in the day’s brilliant sun, half craving, half dreading his arrival. Her great-great-grandmother’s earrings were the least of what she’d have given for her true love, but the swaggering cavalryman was blinded by fortune and glory and did not care to fill that role.

Of course, now she hoped desperately that he
never
found out about the sacrifice of her earrings, for she would be mortified if he realized how crazed over him she had allowed herself to become.

And still one other thing about their liaison at the stable kept preying upon Lily’s mind.

While it was easy to compare Derek’s plans to leave England with those of her father, it was equally easy to
contrast
his behavior with that of Lord Owen Masters in her past.

Last week in that dashed box stall, they had been going mad in each other’s arms; but unlike her seducer of years ago, Derek had in no way pressured her for more. Indeed, he was the one who had brought their explorations to a halt. For her part, Lily would have been quite happy to continue, but Derek had forced himself to stop.

That had surprised her.

Owen, amid much pleading, had instructed her that if she didn’t lie back and let him slake his body’s needs, he would suffer pain in his anatomy that no female could ever understand.

Fifteen and all too trusting, Lily had believed him completely and could not bear for her “beloved” to suffer for her sake. So she had borne it—even though what he’d done to her, in turn, had certainly hurt
her
anatomy. She was the one who had ended up bleeding.

Now Derek’s restraint, by contrast, had her wondering, sickeningly, if all that had been just one more of Owen’s many lies. It was not the sort of thing that she could ever have asked her mother.

Just then, she spotted Derek arriving at the party and tensed from head to toe. At first she thought in shock that he had
two
women with him, but then she realized one was with his brother.

Gracious,
she thought, studying the other tall, black-haired man. Gabriel Knight was making his long-anticipated entrance into Society at Edward’s barbecue. Wouldn’t that be a feather in the Lundys’ cap?

As they came nearer, she was startled to see that the two brothers looked almost exactly alike, only Gabriel’s hair was cropped short. His guarded gait and just the hint of gaunt strain in his form and face reminded her of Derek’s story about how Gabriel had nearly lost his life in their last battle. He had a gloomy look about him, dressed all in black.

Lily recognized the elegant blonde with Gabriel as the same woman who had come hunting for Derek that night at the garden folly. It seemed he had passed her on to his brother.

As for the second-born Knight, he had the glamorous Mrs. Coates on his arm once again.

Lily watched Derek bleakly with his carefree paramour, barely listening to Edward next to her, bragging to one of his male guests. It was hard to see Derek laughing and being his usual charming self with not one, but two of his former conquests.

After ending up in the hay with him herself last week, she had already decided on what her policy must be toward him today: She’d be keeping her distance, thank you very much.

Kicking herself for letting him take such liberties with her—especially when she knew
she
was the one who had provoked it—Lily was all the more determined to control herself around him.

Derek, for his part, appeared all the more intent on focusing his desire elsewhere. No doubt he should find Mrs. Coates quite obliging, Lily thought with jealousy.

Oh, marvelous,
she mused, watching the four.
They’re coming this way.
Her stupid heart beat faster, curse it.

Their progress, however, was delayed. They seemed to be having trouble getting through the crowd of people who swirled around them. The arrival of this notorious quartet had caused a stir all over Edward’s sculpted grounds. If one of the Knight brothers alone created a sensation, the pair together nearly touched off a riot.

Lily knew, however, it was only a matter of time before she’d have to face Derek, for, of course, it was de rigueur for guests to come and greet their hosts.

The Lundys, along with Lily and Mrs. Clearwell, who were serving as co-hostesses of the day, had positioned themselves in an informal reception line in the shade of a massive oak tree, where it was convenient for them to welcome each newly arriving guest.

Although Lily tried to keep her attention on whatever inconsequential thing Edward was saying, she couldn’t help but watch Derek—though only from the corner of her eye.

The brothers had their hands full trying to bring their troop of lady admirers under control, but at last they succeeded, thankfully without having to resort to barking orders military-style.

Having fought their way free of their doting entourage, the majors and their sophisticated companions now joined Lily and the others under the oak tree.

Lily did not know where to look as the handsome pair came sauntering into the breezy shade. Her pulse sped up as greetings were exchanged.

With Edward standing right there, she knew she was in danger of betraying herself by her reaction to Derek. Could she hold her polite mask in place?

Her nerves stretched thin as the man she meant to marry shook hands in amiable fashion with the man she had thrown herself at in a box stall last week.

Then Derek introduced his brother, and when he came around to her, Lily sketched an automatic curtsy to the elder Knight.

“Miss Balfour, I have heard so much about you,” Gabriel Knight said, giving her a noble bow.

You have?
Her eyes widened in pleasure and uncertainty and then sudden dread that Gabriel might say something wrong in front of Edward—good Lord, what all had Derek told his brother about her, anyway? Scandalous things?

Her reaction went unnoticed thanks to Mrs. Clearwell’s swift intervention, directing everyone’s attention to the antics of the entertainers over by the tent. Lily’s relief at her sponsor’s quick thinking was short-lived, however, for in the next moment, she felt someone watching her.

She glanced over cautiously and found Derek’s brother studying her. There was a strange, otherworldly intensity in Gabriel Knight’s deep, ocean-blue eyes. He looked like he could see right inside a person’s soul, she thought with a small gulp. The mysterious firstborn’s brief scrutiny rattled her, but she got the feeling that Gabriel was sizing her up, as if to determine whether or not she was worthy of his little brother.

She did not appreciate being judged.

When she glanced at Derek to send a silent protest his way, she found him also watching her, his eyes, by contrast, wolflike and silvery-pale, with a different sort of intensity in their depths.

An unwilling hunger.

Her blush crept in of its own accord as she held his gaze in spite of herself. Edward was preoccupied with telling Gabriel all the kinds of beer they had on tap beneath the tent. Meanwhile, Derek’s stare smoldered with equal parts hostility and lust.

Lily dropped her gaze, shaken. Lord, this double life of hers was getting complicated.

Well, there she stood in all her glory, the little fortune hunter, her choice made, Derek thought, and so be it. He had washed his hands of Lily Balfour.

At least that’s what he had been telling himself all week.

Seeing her now, in her pale green gown with a pink rose tucked in her silky blond hair, turned him inside out like some sort of hideous Eastern torture. But it did not signify. There was no point wanting what a man could not have. She was standing next to Lundy for a reason.

Derek reminded himself he had other entertainments in store for later, anyway. With that, he slipped his arm around Fanny’s waist and met her sideward glance with an easy half-smile. Women like this were so much less trouble.

Fortunately, the investigation had kept him too busy—by day, at least—to think about the whole vexing female species much.

He had made huge progress over the past few days. He had just completed his stealthy survey of what each committee member owned, constructing detailed lists of what he observed. He had also decided to press his luck and have a few private conversations with four of the men who struck him as completely innocent of any wrongdoing.

All three gents from the House of Commons and the lowliest of the Lords he had struck off his list of suspects. That left five: the Chairman Lord Sinclair and the second-ranked lord, as well as all three from the East India Company hierarchy.

Lundy was still on the list.

In fact, he had moved up a few notches now that he had proved himself to be such a very good actor.

Thanks to Lily, Derek now knew Lundy didn’t trust him. Her suitor had told her so flat-out, and Lily had relayed that fact to him.

But in Derek’s presence, why, one would have thought that they were blood brothers, bosom mates. Lundy’s unexpected skill at playacting set off all sorts of alarms in Derek’s head.