Her Secret (21 page)

I opened the velvet box. There lay another
pair of fox head earrings, identical to the ones I’d given Elle.
The ruby eyes winked in the light. These were more than security,
symbols to wear when we faced the other vampires of the world. They
were a gift from a man to a woman he loved, and that he would
continue to love, even if they couldn’t be together.

Brushing away tears, I put them on, fighting
the sudden desire to call him immediately, and tell him I’d be his
again, that I’d found out about Tasha. Bitterly, I told myself not
to make things worse.

My love for him aside, what would happen if I
went back to Danial? Eventually, no matter how careful we were, I’d
turn vampire. The status quo hadn’t changed. I’d gone through hell
to rid myself of the damned vampire virus. Being with Danial would
just infect me all over again. I’d likely find myself taking little
yellow pills this time next year.

My eyes flooded with tears at the unfairness
of it all.
Damn it, I loved Theo, and I’d done all this for him,
and now he was leaving me for that fucking teenager.

For a long time I sat mopping at my weeping
eyes as I thought about my options. Finally, I decided to confront
Theo in the morning. If he was leaving me, I wanted to hear it from
him.

* * * *

I awoke early the next morning before it was
light. Despite my life was going to hell in a hand basket, Elle
didn’t need her Christmas morning ruined by finding me sleeping out
in the great room.

Theo was still sleeping peacefully in
Danial’s room. There was no smell of sex, as there had been with
our dream. Relieved, I got in bed beside him and moved myself
gently into his arms. I breathed in the scent of him, of wide blue
skies and earth and pine forest, and prairie grass in the summer
sun, and finally fell back asleep.

He awoke at ten. “Good morning,” he said
softly, kissing me. Then his eyes sprang open. “Shit, what time is
it?” he said, rolling away from me to check the clock. “I’ll miss
my flight.”

Without speaking, I got up and quickly put on
some clothes. Theo was swearing, as he pulled out clothes and
shoved them in his duffel. I left him that way, and went to wake up
Elle, but she was already awake.

“Get dressed,” I told her, giving her a kiss
on her forehead. “We have to drive with Theo to the airport in a
few minutes, or he’s going to miss his plane.”

“I want him to miss it,” she pouted. “I want
him to stay here with us. It’s Christmas morning!”

“I wish he was staying too, honey,” I said,
hugging her. “But he has to go. He’ll come back.”

“Promise?” she said, looking up at me.

“Ask him yourself at the gate,” I said
perversely. “Now put some clothes on.”

Theo was at the door by that time. “Hurry up,
we have to go!”

We piled in the truck fast. Theo went down
the driveway at forty-five mph. Somehow we got the airport in one
piece. We parked, then walked with Theo to the private airport
hanger section to see him off. Security was tightened for the
holiday season, and we couldn’t go with him to the private plane,
as usually was possible.

“Do you have at least two guns?” I asked him
softly, as we hugged good-bye.

“I have three,” he answered, kissing me
roughly. “And there’s another waiting for me with a contact who is
going to pick me up at the airport. I won’t disappear again.”

Elle hugged him. “Are you coming back?” she
asked nervously.

“I’ll always come back for you, Elle,” he
said affectionately.

“Promise?” she said, tearful and unsure.

“I promise,” he assured her. He picked up his
luggage, and turned to me. “Please take care of yourself.”

“I love you,” I told him, and gave him a hug.
“Take care of yourself, too.”

“I love you, too,” he said easily. Then he
scented the air suddenly. “What’s the matter? You’re upset—”

Above us, a speaker came to life. “Passenger
for runway eight; your flight has clearance. Please report to
hanger fifteen immediately.”

“
Passenger for runway eight; your
flight has clearance. Please report to hanger fifteen
immediately.”

“That’s me, I have to go,” Theo said,
irritated. “Damn pilots.”

“You’d better go,” I said, watching him
closely. “She’s waiting.”

Theo blanched, all the blood draining from
his face.

If I’d doubted my suspicions, I didn’t now.
“Tell her I said hi, and I’m going to take care of Elle,” I hissed
at him. “Don’t worry about us, if that crosses your mind, that
is.”

“Mom!” Elle gasped

Theo’s eyes went yellow. “You don’t
understand—”

“Save it,” I said. “I understand enough.” I
grabbed Elle’s hand and strode away angrily.

“Mom! You made him so angry! Why did you say
that?” she wailed. “He looked so sad! Now maybe he won’t come
back!”

I turned around and hugged her. “Elle, I’m
sorry you saw that. What happened just now wasn’t your fault. Theo
had to go work out some things from when he was gone from us. It
may be a while until you see him again. But he told you he’d come
back, and that means he will.”

“How long will that be?” she said
tearfully.

“I can’t say. But your dad and I’ll be here
to take care of you, no matter what.”

“You have jealousy in your voice,” Elle said
accusingly. “He’s going to another woman, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” I said hesitantly. “Honestly, I don’t
know more than that. But the truth is that even when he does come
back, he and I might not be together anymore.”

“Are you going to get back with Dad?”

“I don’t know,” I said awkwardly. “Please,
let’s go home.”

“I want Dad!” she wailed.

“We’ll go call him,” I affirmed. “I need to
talk to him myself.”

When we returned to Danial’s, a package was
waiting for me near the door. It was airmail, postmarked South
America. Eyeing it, I said, “Elle, do you want to play, or lie down
for a bit? I’ll see if I can get your father on the phone.”

“I’m going to my room,” she said tiredly. “I
want to talk to Dad, if you get him.”

“Go ahead. I’ll come get you if he
answers.”

Elle went into her room. I dialed Danial, but
reached only his voicemail. I left him a message, saying that Elle
was upset, there had been a scene at the airport, and I knew why
Theo had left.

Theo was gone, maybe for good. Screw it. I
hung up the phone, then opened the package. Inside was J. Blunt’s
album on CD, the one with the song “You’re Beautiful” on it.

It hadn’t been Danial that Brian had been
talking to that day as I sung that song’s refrain; it had been
Devlin. I held my breath, and opened the card.

Sar, Do one last thing for me: Listen to the
fourth track on this CD. Pretend it is me, singing to you, and know
I mean the words, all of them. If you still don’t want to come to
me, I will leave you alone.

Good-bye, my lover.

Dev

I took the CD into Danial’s bedroom, and used
his state of the art CD player to play the song. It took me a while
to get it to work, as my hands acted numb. I had tears of
frustration in my eyes before I had the CD player working. As the
first strains of the song began, I settled down on the floor by the
cold and empty wood stove to listen. I looked at the back of the
CD, to find the title of the fourth track. The title was “Good-bye
My Lover.”

Every word wrenched my heart a little more,
and by the fourth line, tears were slipping down my face, one after
the other. By the time it was over, I was sobbing, because his
longing for me was my longing for him. His pain at not being with
me was equal to my pain at not being with him. If he really felt
all of that for me, I was crazy not to go to him. I wanted him so
badly at that moment, I would have called him if I’d had access to
his number and told him I would come to him right now, tonight, and
damn everything else.

Wait.
Devlin’s number had to be in
Danial’s phone, under one of the speed dial buttons. It wouldn’t
take long to find
. I moved toward the phone, and then suddenly,
it rang.

I wasn’t sure how to answer, this being the
private line and not the business line. “Racklan residence,” I said
hesitantly.

“Sar, I got your message,” Danial said,
upset. “What did Elle witness? I need to know before I speak to
her.”

I took the phone over to Danial’s bed and lay
down. It was the side Theo hadn’t slept on. Danial’s pillow still
smelled faintly of spices. I lay my head on it and breathed in his
scent.

“Sar, answer me,” Danial said angrily. “Was
this a full blown fight? Were any blows struck?”

“You meant did I hit him?” I asked groggily.
“No. I just told him to say hi to her for me, and not to worry
about Elle or me, if it crossed his mind. He didn’t say anything
back.”

“That’s a relief,” Danial sighed. “If you’ll
take the phone to her, I’d like to talk to her. After I’ve handled
that, I’ll answer your questions, if you still want answers.”

“I think I have the answers,” I said coolly.
“I got them in bed last night from Theo’s own lips. Hold on.”

I took the phone to Elle, and handed it to
her. She took it, then closed the door. I went back to Danial’s
bedroom, stripped off my clothes, and got into bed. Within minutes,
I was asleep.

A loud knocking woke me. “Mom, are you in
there? Dad wants to talk to you.”

Anyone else I’d have told to let Danial call
me back when he was done with his business, which was clearly above
me on his to-do list. But I couldn’t say that to Elle. “Come in,
Elle.”

She came in and handed me the phone. “He told
me to go back to the fox compound with Cia. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” I said, nodding. “Don’t worry if
I’m not here when you get back. I planned on going home for a few
days until we head off to that party in Canada.”

“I want you to stay,” Elle pleaded. “Can’t
you stay?”

“No,” I said gently. “Like Theo, I have a few
things to work out on my own. But I will see you before we leave,
okay?”

She hugged me. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too, Elle. Now go play and have
a good time.”

She left, and I put the phone to my ear.
“Racklan residence.”

“You’re very funny,” Danial said crossly.
“Where are you? You aren’t sleeping at the desk, are you?”

“I’m in your bed,” I said, yawning.
“Naked.”

There was silence for two seconds, then
Danial said, “Don’t play, Sar. I’m in no mood.”

“I’m sorry,” I said in a fake apologetic
tone. “I was tired and wanted the comfort.”

“You mean you really
are
naked in my
bed?”

“Yes,” I said naughtily. “I wish you were
here with me.”

The groan he gave was filled with enough love
and lust to strike a cord in me. “You are killing me, Sar, with
your words and the images they invoke.”

“Seriously, I’m sorry,” I replied. “Maybe if
you spent more time at home you’d know when naked women are
around.”

“Sar, you are always welcome in my bed, even
if I’m not there to share it with you. Get some rest, and stay as
long as you like. I heard Elle ask you to stay. I can have your
pets taken care of.” He paused. “I’m working as fast as possible.
It should only be a few more days, if that.”

This wasn’t fair to him or good for me,
teasing like this. “Thank you for the card,” I said seriously. “I
loved the poem you picked, and what you wrote after it. As for the
earrings, I’m wearing them.”

“I meant all of it. Forever.”

“I know you did. I feel the same way about
you.”

There was silence for a few breaths, then
Danial said, “What was in the package?”

Cia had made a report, no doubt. “Dev sent me
a CD.”

“Was it him, or someone else?”

“It was Dev,” I said, surprised. “Who else
would it be? I don’t know anyone else in South America.”

“No,” Danial said with a snort. “I meant was
it him on the CD, or someone else singing?”

“It was an artist we both like.”

“Have you called him?”

“No,” I said guiltily, thinking I would have
if Danial hadn’t called. “I don’t think that will solve my
problems, or make their solution any clearer.”

“Do you still want to know, about Theo, that
is?” Danial asked abruptly.

“Tell me what you know.”

“I got a letter two weeks ago. It was
addressed to Theo, care of the company. Theo took it and read it in
private. When he came back, he asked me to arrange a flight for
him. He wanted to be with you and Elle at Christmas, so he waited
to fly out until now.”

“Did he say if he was going to come back? He
told Elle he would.”

“He said he would be there with us on
Saturday, no matter what. But I can’t say after that.”

“What was in the note? Don’t tell me you
don’t know.”

Danial let out a breath. “He said that the
maid had been forced to lie, that Tasha had not been married. She’s
been waiting all this time for him to come back. She wanted to know
if he still loved her, or if he had decided to stay with you.”

I closed my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Danial said gently. “I couldn’t
tell you, Sar. I knew how much it would hurt you when you found
out. I tried to dissuade Theo from going, but he wouldn’t change
his mind.” He paused. “How did you find out?”

“Because last night I kissed him, and when he
kissed me back, he called me by her name in his sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I—”

I couldn’t talk about this anymore, not even
with him. “What are our chances, on New Year’s Eve?” I interrupted
harshly.

“Honestly? Less than fifty percent,” he said
ominously. “But they’ll go up from that if you will let me mark you
again.”

“I’m afraid to have sex with you,” I said
honestly. “I want you as much as ever, but I’m worried that I’ll
act like I did before. And I don’t feel like I can ask Camlyn for
advice. He’s not going to want me to be intimate with you after
we’ve worked so hard to get me back to human.”