Her Mother's Daughter (34 page)

Gertie was back in the kitchen before Tansy finished vacuuming the entire downstairs. She was sweating bullets, and when she walked into the kitchen was greeted with a wall of heat. “It's like the coke ovens in here,” she complained. “Have you finished baking yet?”

“Not quite. Gertie, don't ice those coconut squares. They need to cool down.”

“Okay.”

“Mom, where's Bay? Shouldn't she be here helping us? It's her shower.”

“She ran over to the apartment to finish painting the inside of the kitchen cupboards because she won't get a chance before the wedding.”

Tansy was about to sit down and take the weight off her feet when her mother remembered something. “Honey, take the car and run over and ask Bay to give you that plastic bag filled with serving trays. I'm running out of places to put this food.”

“No wonder. You're feeding the five thousand,” Tansy grumped.

She was in a bad mood when she grabbed the car keys and drove over to the apartment; she hated going over to her sister's little love nest. If she never saw it again she'd be quite happy. When she drove up, she cursed. Bobby's truck was there. Maybe she'd honk and get Bay to run out with the trays, but then Bobby would know why she was doing it and that made her cringe.

Tansy got out of the car and walked around the back. Their apartment was on the ground floor. She reached the door, and was about to go inside when she saw them through the kitchen window. They were definitely not painting.

She wanted to look away but she couldn't. He had Bay up against the counter. Her head was back, her eyes were closed, and her mouth was open as she banged against the cupboard door. Tansy couldn't hear them, which made it worse, because she knew the kind of sounds they were making. They were in their own private world, giving and receiving the pleasure she'd never have. She'd always be on the outside looking in at them and their perfect, perfect love.

To make matters worse, her mother hollered at her when she came home without the trays.

She thought the shower would never end. Tansy vowed that she would never attend another bridal shower for as long as she lived. A room full of cackling hens would be less irritating. Keeping busy was the only way to live through it.

Gertie stayed by Bay's side, oohing and aahing over the gifts, taking photos of Bay with a paper plate festooned with gift bows on her head. To the untrained eye, Liz looked like she was having a good time, but Tansy knew her mother's mind was fast at work, calculating how many teabags she'd need for the urn and whether it was time to take the trifle out of the fridge.

Her well-meaning friends hovered around and asked her if there was anything that needed doing, but Liz good-naturedly shooed them out of the kitchen, saying she had plenty of help. Meaning Tansy.

At some point during even the most hectic of showers, there's a general lull in proceedings when appetites and thirsts have been sated and the weary hostess gets to sit down and enjoy her guests. It was during such a period, while Tansy was alone at the sink, that her father came into the kitchen.

“Hello, my little darlin',” he sang as he took off his jacket. “Any of those tiny sandwiches left? I could eat me boots.”

“You've been drinking, mister,” Tansy smiled.

“Who's a clever girl,” Jack laughed as he put his arm around his daughter's shoulder.

“Mom's gonna kill you.”

“Never. Your ma loves me.”

“I'm not sure why.”

“Always with the saucy talk. I wonder who you take after.”

“I'm Jack Junior, remember.”

“Oh yeah, so you are.”

Liz came into the kitchen and put her hands on her hips. “Wonderful. I thought the stag party would be going on a lot longer than this. How am I supposed to get you upstairs without every gossip in town seeing the state of you?”

“Give us a kiss.” Jack puckered up.

“Bobby's stag party was tonight?” Tansy asked.

Jack nodded a little more than was necessary. “Too right it was, and a grand time was had by all. The man himself is a little worse for wear, but I left him down in the boat. He'll be fine.”

“You left him on the boat?”

“Jack…are you sure he'll be all right? Why didn't you take him home?”

“Look, my love, we ended up drinking down on the boat and none of us was in any shape to drive, and he wasn't in any shape to walk, so I left him there. He's not goin' anywhere. I'll go down and check on him in the morning.”

“If you're sure.” Liz didn't sound too convinced.

“I want some food, woman!”

Liz shushed him and turned to Tansy. “For God's sake, gather up a plate of sandwiches and sweets and take your father upstairs as quick as you can, before Lois Axworthy sees him.”

Tansy did what she was told. Before she left the kitchen, with one hand on her father and the other on a plate of goodies, she said, “Do you need me anymore tonight, Mom? I'm tired. Think I'll have an early night.”

Her mother emptied a teapot into the sink. “No, honey. You've been a great help, and I appreciate it. Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

She whispered in her father's ear. “As quickly and as quietly as possible, we're going to rush down the hall and tiptoe upstairs. Have you got that?”

More unnecessary nodding.

Anyone who'd been looking would have seen two people walk swiftly and ramrod straight down the hall carrying a mound of food, whereupon they turned on a dime and headed lickety-split up the stairs.

And anyone looking five minutes later would have seen one person come down the stairs, go out the door, and disappear into the night.

Tansy didn't have a thought in her head. She didn't know why she needed to see him. Maybe because she knew this would be the last unguarded moment she'd have with him, given that the wedding was only days away. And somewhere deep down she knew that he was always happy to see her when he'd been drinking.

It didn't take her long to get to the wharf. No one was around, but she did hear drunken singing from way up the road, no doubt guests of the stag party who were still weaving their way home.

She'd been on her father's boat lots of times.
Tansy Bay
and all the other fishing boats in the harbour were ready for the May fifteenth opening of lobster season, their hulls cleaned and newly painted, the buoys bright with neon colours, the traps waiting to be filled.

Tansy climbed down the iron rails of the wharf itself and silently jumped down to the deck. She crossed over to the cabin door, slid it open, and slipped inside before closing it behind her. Her father had left a small deck light on, and she saw Bobby lying on his back on one of the bunks, his arm covering his eyes. The table was covered with empty beer and rum bottles, overflowing ashtrays, and empty chip bags and dip containers. Amazing how easy men were to please when it came to organizing a party.

She tiptoed over to him and gingerly sat on the bunk. His breathing was deep and even. At one point he shifted in his sleep and his arm came down to rest against his chest. Tansy watched him and didn't realize that she was crying until she felt a tear fall down her cheek.

As soon as she could get the money together, she'd leave this place. She'd come to say goodbye in the only way that made sense; to be alone with him and no one else for a few moments.

“I love you,” she whispered.

She rose from the bunk and rushed to the door, but in her haste knocked over a rum bottle. It shattered on the floor. She spun around, her hands clamped over her mouth. Bobby sat up on the bunk. “Wha'… who's there?”

She didn't move. He put his feet on the floor and held his head in his hands, before brushing his hair back with his fingers. He shook his head a little. “Christ, where am I?”

Tansy backed up to the door, one small step at a time. He hadn't seen her in the dim light and the thought of him seeing her now scared her to death. What was she thinking? What was she doing?

Bobby stood up and staggered a little. He held out his hand and managed to right himself when he touched the side of the boat. His head was down, looking at his feet, as if he needed to know where they were. “I want…” He didn't finish the sentence, just laughed and threw his head back. That's when he saw her.

A big smile came on his face. “Hey, you! Come here.” He gestured with his hand and waved her closer. “Come on, I won't bite.”

Tansy didn't move. That's why he came to her, which was a bad idea, because he banged into the table and knocked a chair over before he bumped into her. She tried to steady them both, but he swayed the other way and they ended up sprawled on the bunk.

“Whoa, nelly!” he laughed.

She sat back up and he struggled to sit up with her, his arm finding its way around her.

“Hey there, Tansy,” he slurred. “I gotta ask you somethin'. Why don't you talk to me anymore, huh?”

“I talk to you.”

“No, you don't. You turn up that pretty little nose whenever I come in the room.”

“I'm surprised you noticed. I thought you only had eyes for Bay.”

He grinned. “My Bay-by. Get it? Baby. She's beautiful, isn't she? I can't believe she's gonna marry me. How lucky can a guy get?”

“Did you ever like me, even a little?”

He looked hurt, and put his hand up to her face. “Hey now, I always liked you.”

“Do you like me now? Right this very minute?”

“Sure I do. Hell, every guy I know wants you.”

“But I only want you.”

Tansy turned and straddled him as he sat on the edge of the bunk. “Kiss me once. Just once.” She didn't wait for an answer, as she found his mouth and kissed him with her whole heart and soul. It went on and on until he groaned, reached for her head, and pulled her away from him.

“Wait now, I don't think this is right.”

“Why not?” She kissed him again and rubbed herself against him. “This feels right to me. We're alone and no one will know. I'll never breathe a word to a living soul.” When she kissed him again it took him even longer to pull away.

“I love you, Bobby. And I know you love me just a little. You did things to me that told me you did, but you never finished it and I need you to finish it. I'm going away and I'm never coming back. I need you to make love to me once before I go. Give me something to remember.”

She moved against him as she waited, breathless, her mouth open.

“Oh God, Tansy…”

“You're getting married. You'll never be with another girl again. You wanted me once. I know you did. And now I'm here.”

He kissed her as he pulled her down onto the bunk.

They didn't talk after that.

When it was over, he turned away from her. She lay on the bunk, her chest heaving. He staggered forward and had to reach out to keep from falling over. He kept his back to her as he did up his jeans. Then he turned around and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “What are you doing here? Why are you with me?”