Her Mother's Daughter (17 page)

True to her word, Bay took Ashley to the doctor. She wanted to go into the office with her, but Ashley gave her such a look of incredulity that she backed off. The doctor asked her all sorts of questions and she lied through her teeth for most of them. Was she sexually active? No. When was her last period? Two weeks ago. Was she sleeping all right? Like a log. Eating? Yes.

He felt her glands and listened to her heart and took her blood pressure and all the things doctors do. He ordered blood work.

“Why?”

“Just to be on the safe side. I suggest you take some multivitamins in the meantime. It can't hurt. I hope you're not dieting?”

“No.”

“Your mother said you've been throwing up. You aren't bingeing and purging, are you?”

“Of course not. That's stupid.”

“I'm glad you think so. As soon as I get your reports back, I'll be in touch.”

Ashley turned to go. Before her hand reached the doorknob, he said, “Anything you say to me is private. I can't tell your mother, do you understand?”

She nodded.

“I'm here if you need me.”

“Thanks.” She left.

Her mother got out of her chair in the waiting room as soon as Ashley emerged from the office. “Well?”

“He says I should take vitamins.”

“Is that all?”

Ashley nodded. “He wants me to have some blood work, too.”

“Well, let's go to the hospital right now.”

“No, Mom. I'm tired. I want to go home.”

“But we're in town—”

“Please. Can I get it done tomorrow?”

“I suppose so,” Bay frowned. “Although why you don't—”

Ashley turned to face her mother. “Will you stop treating me like a five-year-old? I'm tired and I'd rather do it tomorrow. Don't make a federal case out of it.”

Bay pressed her lips together. “Fine. Let's go home.”

It was a deadly quiet car ride.

Tansy was at the stove when they came in the door. “How did it go?”

“Okay, I guess,” Bay said. “Are you cooking?”

“Even I can't ruin Kraft Dinner.”

“I'm not hungry, I'll eat later,” Ashley said before she disappeared up the stairs to her room.

Mother and aunt looked at each other.

“What did the doctor say?”

“How should I know? I wasn't allowed in the office with her. He told her to take some vitamins and get blood work done, I guess to rule out anything horrible.”

Tansy gave the pot a stir. “You might be barking up the wrong tree.”

Bay sat at the table. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe she and Matt had a fight and she doesn't want you to know about it. She hasn't been hankering to see him lately.”

Bay folded her arms. “You may have a point. Well, if that's the case, I'm staying out of it. I'd only make things worse. I can't seem to do anything right these days.”

Tansy gave her a smile and knocked the wooden spoon against the side of the pot. “That's not true.”

“Oh, yes it is. Dermot's annoyed with me.”

“Oh?” Tansy walked over and sat in the opposite kitchen chair. “What happened?”

Bay put her elbow on the table and cupped her chin in her hand. “The usual. I said something and he got mad and then he said something and I got mad.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him we should take things slow. You'd think I'd asked him to become a monk.”

“I see.”

“So much for your great advice. Now what?”

Tansy got back up and took some plates out of the cupboard. “Now nothing. He can't manipulate you like that. If he likes you so much, he should be prepared to do things your way. Keep away from him until he gets over his little hissy fit.” She placed the plates on the table. “Are you ready to eat?”

“I guess so. You know, you're right. Why am I always the one who has to play by other people's rules? He can stew for all I care. I have more important things to worry about.”

It occurred to Ashley in the middle of the night that the blood test would give away the fact that she was pregnant. That's why the doctor had ordered it. The way he'd looked at her made her think he knew what was up. She wouldn't get away with not having it done, so she had no choice.

She had to tell Matt.

Her mother poked her head around the bedroom door before she left for work. “Good morning. Must be nice to sleep in now that you're not in school.”

“I'm not sleeping in. You're talking to me.”

Bay crossed the room and sat on her bed. “That's true. When are you going to hand out your resumés? You'll need a job soon. You shouldn't have left it so late.”

Ashley closed her eyes. “Yes, Mother, I know.”

“I'll leave you the car and you can go in and get your blood work done. Don't forget.”

“I won't.”

“You and Matt aren't having problems, are you?”

Ashley's eyes flew open. “What?”

“You've been reluctant to see him and I wondered if anything was up.”

“I haven't been feeling well and he's busy working for his uncle, that's all.”

“Good.”

“Good? I thought you'd be happy if Matt and I broke up.”

Bay frowned. “When did I say that?”

“All the time. It drives me nuts.”

“Well, you're wrong. All I said was—”

“Never mind, Mom, I've heard it before.” Ashley sat up and crawled out from under the sheets on the other side of the bed. “I'd better take a shower.”

Bay sighed. “All right, I'll see you later.” She got up and started for the door, but turned around and took Ashley in her arms. “I love you, you know. I only worry about you because I love you.”

Ashley stood as stiff as a board, waiting to be released. “Fine. Mom, I have to go.”

Bay dropped her arms. Ashley walked out of the room and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Bay looked around at the mess. She wandered over to a picture tacked up on the bulletin board. They'd taken it in a booth at the mall. Ashley had her tongue sticking out and Bay had her eyes crossed. She reached up and touched the picture. She stood there for a long time, thinking about that day. They'd gone to the movies and had ice cream from the Tasty Treat. Ashley had said she was the best mom in the whole world.

Where did that little girl go?

CHAPTER EIGHT

Ashley drove up to Matt's house and blew the horn. She called him before she left the house, so he was expecting her. There was no way she was going near his front door and running into his mother. She was afraid Ruth would look into her eyes and know instantly that she was carrying her grandchild.

Matt came out the door on the run. He had a big smile on his face as he approached the car. At that moment, everything in his world was fine.

And she was the one who was going to ruin it.

He opened the door and hopped in. “Hey, gorgeous. I missed you.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss. She pulled back quickly. “Not here. Your mother's probably watching.”

“Then let's go, because I've been going crazy without you.”

Matt thought he was going with her to get blood work, and chatted happily about his new job before they even left his street. He was so busy telling her about everything, he didn't notice until the last minute that she'd turned off the main highway and driven down a dirt road that led to a point overlooking the harbour.

He smirked. “You want to go parking first, do ya? Then get over here.”

Ashley let him kiss her for a while, because it felt good to be with him again, but when his hand disappeared up the back of her blouse, she stopped him.

“We need to talk. Not here.”

She got out of the car before he could say anything. He quickly followed her and yelled into the wind that whistled from across the headland. “Just a sec. Wait.”

Instead of stopping, she tramped over the rocks and grass that edged the bank. There was a large boulder. This would have to do. She sat but didn't look at him; instead she kept her gaze out over the water. He scrambled up beside her, out of breath.

“What's going on? Why did you want to come here?”

“Sit down.”

Matt gave her a funny look but did as he was told. “You're making me nervous. Have I done something wrong? You don't want to break up with me, do you?”

She shook her head. Her hair whipped around her face because of the wind, and she had a hard time keeping it out of her eyes.

“Then talk to me.”

When she turned and looked at his sweet, earnest face, so full of love and concern, it broke her heart. “I have something to tell you and I don't want to.”

Matt reached over and took her hand. “You can tell me anything.”

Ashley looked at their hands, trying to will the words to come.

“Oh my God, you're not seriously sick, are you? Please tell me you're all right.”

“I'm not all right…”

“God, what is it?”

“I'm having a baby.”

Matt's head snapped back as if she'd slapped him. “What? What do you mean?”

“It's true. I can't believe it, but it's true.”

Matt stood up and put his hands on his head, as if trying to keep this shocking revelation inside his brain. He looked one way, then the other, and finally back at her. “For sure?”

She nodded.

He sank down on the boulder beside her and put his arms around her shoulders. For the first time since the morning she first knew, she let herself cry out loud. No more hiding her face in the sheets or in the shower or into a towel. She cried as if her heart would break, and let her wails be carried off by the ocean breeze.

Matt rocked her and held her close. He said nothing. There wasn't anything to say.

After a while she had no tears left, but Ashley kept her arms around his waist and her face hidden against the soft fleece of his hoodie. He rested his chin on the top of her head. She heard his heart thud in his chest. If only she could stay like this for the rest of her life. Then the world wouldn't be so frightening.

Finally she spoke. “What are we going to do?”

“I don't know.”

She lifted her head and let him go. She reached into her pocket for some tissue to wipe her eyes, then crumpled it up and started to shred it in her hands. “Maribeth thinks I should go to Halifax and have an abortion.”

“You told Maribeth before you told me?”

“I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to tell you and I needed to talk to someone.”

Matt rested his elbows on his knees and put his face in his hands.

“Don't be mad at me.”

He turned his head to look at her. “I'm not mad at you. I just wish you trusted me enough to come to me first. How do you know she isn't going to blab this all over town?”

“She's my best friend. Best friends don't do stuff like that.”

“You better hope not.”

Ashley frowned. “At some point everyone's going to know about it, no matter how hush-hush we are. That is, unless you want me to take her advice and get on a bus to Halifax and get it over with.”

“Is that what you want?”

Ashley jumped up and held her arms across her chest. “No, that's not what I want. It's our baby. Is that what you want?”

“I don't know what the fuck I want. I can't think straight. All I keep wondering is how we can raise this baby when neither of us has any money, or full-time jobs, for that matter.”

“You have your uncle's job.”