Her Lifelong Dream (3 page)

"You would still have to work a twenty-hour day to keep
up with that pace," he said.

"I could do that," Leedy said.

"I believe you could," he said. "For a time anyway.
But ..."

"But?" The conversation had turned, and things were not
going as well as she hoped they would.

"Your financial figures were vague in some areas," the
banker said.

"I wanted to keep my budget flexible," she explained.
"In case something unexpected came up."

"Something unexpected usually does. But the bank needs
specific information, Leedy. For instance, your wine cellar.
That's a rather expensive addition, don't you think?"

"Yes," she agreed. "But a well-stocked wine list is essential for a good restaurant."

"I agree. But the figure you have allocated isn't nearly
enough to pay for the type of wine cellar you have in mind.
Why, one bottle alone could cost more than ..."

"I plan to start with a modest list and purchase more as
the cash flow takes hold." She saw the skeptical expression
on his face and grimaced. "Look," she said her voice dropping. "I'm a hard worker and I've been working toward
this for my entire adult life. I know I can make it work!"

Terry Foster frowned and put the folder back onto the
top of the stack. "I'm sorry, Ms. Collins," he said, looking
genuinely apologetic. "Leedy ... The bank's approval
committee couldn't possibly endorse your application for a
loan at this time. Perhaps you could try again after ..."

Leedy's heart sank. "Does this mean that I didn't get the
loan?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I would be happy to suggest a
possible course of action for you to take to better prepare
yourself for the future. In fact, I have some ideas that you
may wish to consider. . ."

"Ideas?" Leedy was dumbstruck. "What kind of ideas?"

"Well, I would be happy to make a few recommendations for you to follow. I have an eighteen-month plan of
action I would like to present, if you have the time ..."

"Are you saying you asked me to come here to your
office so that you could tell me my loan application was
declined?"

"I know you're disappointed," Terry Foster said. "But
this is no reflection on ..."

A tear spilled down Leedy's cheek and she brushed it
away, angry with herself for letting such a thing happen.
"But you're the fifth bank I've been to," she said, fighting
back the tears. "You were my last hope."

"Please, sit down," he said. "I'd like to talk more about
your application." It was a request that caught Leedy offguard because she did not know she had gotten to her feet,
her purse slung over her shoulder and her car keys in her
hand.

"Okay," she said simply, and sat back down. Maybe he
would now tell her it had all been a terrible mistake-a
mix-up with files perhaps-and her loan was approved after
all. But the expression of concern on the banker's handsome face told her all she needed to know. This was no
mistake.

She barely listened as he spoke, his voice almost a tickle
in her ear. She just nodded at him and fought the tears back that threatened to fall at any second. "This isn't to say that
we won't consider your application at another time," he
was saying.

"I understand," Leedy said and stood up again. Her disappointment was tremendous and she knew that if she
didn't leave right away, she was going to burst into tears.
"Thank you for seeing me, Mr. Foster. The other banks just
sent a letter."

"Bernard & Simmons is not like the other banks," Terry
Foster said. "And ..."

"I'm sorry," she said, forcing herself to smile. "But I
have to go."

With that, Leedy turned and fled. The idea of falling
apart right in front of a good-looking loan officer was too
embarrassing an option to consider. Instead, she dashed
from the room, leaving Terry Foster still sitting at his desk,
looking bewildered. She almost made it to the elevator before she heard him call out to her. "We'll talk again when
you have more time," he said and she nodded.

Thankfully, the elevator doors glided open and she
stepped into the box. She rode the crowded elevator down
without incident, but it was all she could do to keep from
sobbing. Once the doors slid open again, she strode quickly
through the lobby until, finally, she pushed open the gleaming glass door that let her out of Bernard & Simmons Savings and Loan. Not even the feel of the warm autumn
sunshine on her face made her feel better.

Leedy didn't allow herself to cry until she was finally
sheltered in the privacy of her car. Then she couldn't hold
back any longer. The tears spilled down her cheeks as she
cried. Five minutes later, she was able to wipe her eyes
with a crumpled tissue and put her keys in the ignition. She couldn't very well sit in her car and cry all day, but, somehow, she didn't know what else to do with herself. She had
arrived there with such high hopes.

Finally, she put her car into gear and headed out of the
bank's parking lot. There was nothing else to do but go
home. Go home with the knowledge that her dream of owning her own restaurant was just as far away as it always
had been.

Leedy went home and allowed herself a good, long cry.
Then she remembered Terry Foster's good-looking face
and the sound of his sexy voice and cried some more. She
trembled with embarrassment every time she thought of the
way she had dashed out of his office, almost in tears. He
must have thought she was crazy.

When she finished crying, she put on her well-worn running clothes and headed out to the nearby park to run
around Lake Benjamin. It was a beautiful day, and the park
was full of pleasant people enjoying the sunny autumn
morning.

Leedy ran around and around the perimeter of the small
lake. Once, twice, three times around. She liked the sound
her feet made as they slapped the asphalt pathway and the
feel of the sunshine against her cheeks. Four, five, six times
around. The back of her shirt was wet from her sweat.
Seven, eight, nine, ten times around. Leedy checked her
breathing and pressed on. She ran and ran until she lost count of the number of laps. She ran until she thought her
lungs would burst. Finally, she slowed and walked the final
lap around the lake while her breathing returned to normal.
She was tired, but it was a good tired. But not even physical
exhaustion could take away the bitter disappointment of
that morning.

The image of Terry Foster kept floating back to her, filling her with an ache that left her shaking with frustration.
A few more tears spilled down Leedy's cheeks as she finished up the final trip around the lake. She brushed them
away impatiently and slowly headed back to her apartment,
breathing in the crisp, clean air in an effort to soothe her
bruised spirit.

She knew she had to somehow pull herself together before she reported to Mr. Hobo's that afternoon. Friday
nights were always the busiest night of the week at the
restaurant, especially since classes at the University of Wisconsin had begun again. Her evening would be a busy one,
and she had to be on her toes.

Back in her apartment, Leedy took a long bubble bath.
She sank into the hot, sweet-smelling water and closed her
eyes, trying to forget about her miserable day. But it did
no good. Her heart was broken. Her frustration was too
profound, her discouragement too great. All she could do
was lay in the tub and let her disappointment wash over
her.

Leedy finally gave a heavy sigh and pulled out the stopper from the drain with her big toe. The water drained out
of the tub slowly ... much the same way all hope had been
drained from her dreams. Leedy contemplated such melodramatic thoughts as she looked up at the ceiling while the
water drained. Only when the water was gone did she slowly climb out of the tub and begin to dress for work.

She looked through the steam in the mirror over the sink
and examined herself intently. She still looked like the
same person she had been that morning, despite her flushed
face from the hot bath and the crying binge. She still had
the same long, glossy brown hair and the same big
chestnut-colored eyes. She applied her make-up carefully,
then blew her hair dry. Yes, it was her all right. Same heartshaped face, same high cheekbones, same dimple on one
cheek only (the left).

The restaurant-issued black tuxedo Mr. Hobo's required
her to wear fit her tall, athletic build perfectly. In fact, except for the pink cheeks, no one would know to look at her
that she had had such a disappointing morning. The image
of the loan officer popped into her mind and she felt embarrassed all over again.

Leedy stuck her tongue out at the mirror, found her car
keys and purse, and then bounded out the door, angry with
herself for thinking of Terry Foster and his stupid blue
eyes.

By the time she arrived at Mr. Hobo's fifteen minutes
later, she was beginning to feel like her old self again. She
was already thinking about the loan application she would
submit to another bank. If it had caught the attention of
Bernard & Simmons Savings and Loan, maybe it would
catch the eye of someone else. She just had to keep trying.

The parking lot was packed, so she knew before she
walked in the door that Mr. Hobo's would be in full swing.
"What's with the mob scene, Brittany?" Leedy asked the
pretty blond waitress who dashed past her.

"There must be something going on at the University,"
Brittany said with her usual pixie-like smile. "We've been this busy since eleven o'clock and there's no end in sight.
How did your meeting at the bank go?"

"Not good," Leedy said. "I'll tell you about it later." She
had confided in Brittany about her hopes of opening her
own restaurant. It was unusual for her to be so forthright
when it came to her dream restaurant. It was an aspiration
that was too precious to share, especially with an employee.
But there was something about Brittany's sweet personality
that told Leedy she could trust her.

They'd hit it off from the moment they first met. As a
matter of fact, although they hadn't known each other long,
Leedy thought of Brittany as one of her best friends.
"Didn't you have something you had to do tonight?" Leedy
asked.

"Mark and I are supposed to pick out our china and silver
patterns," Brittany said. "My mother wants to tag along, of
course. Mark will be here any minute ... But if you need
me to stay and help, I will. I don't mind and I'm sure Mark
will understand."

"No way," Leedy said. "You've already put in a long
day, Brit. You and Mark have a great time shopping. We
can hold down the fort without you."

Brittany was getting married to her long-time boyfriend,
Mark Ellis, in less than three months, and she was busy
tending to the last-minute details. Pre-wedding stress aside,
it was obvious to anyone who met the attractive young
couple that there was something special between them.

Leedy was thrilled for Brittany and enjoyed talking with
her about every detail of her wedding plans, especially the
reception. But there were also times when she envied Brittany too. Her cheeks would redden with shame whenever
she had these feelings. She loved Brittany and Mark and was thrilled for their happiness. Yet ... yet there were
times when she saw the way Mark looked into Brittany's
eyes and she couldn't help but feel a deep longing in the
pit of her stomach. Sometimes Leedy wished she had someone in her life who looked at her the way Mark looked at
Brittany. Someone she could confide in. Someone she could
tell all of her dreams to. Someone who would hold her in
his strong arms, kiss her, and tell her that everything would
be all right.

Leedy reassured Brittany that Mr. Hobo's would survive
without her and sent her on her way. "Thanks," Brittany
said, giving her a goodbye hug.

Just then, Leedy noticed Mark standing at the entrance
waiting for his future bride. Brittany gathered up her belongings and waved one last time before she exited. Leedy
watched her pinch Mark's rear and smiled. It was impossible for her to be jealous of Brittany for too long. She was
just too darn cute to resent.

Leedy contemplated her own love life while she put her
purse and jacket in her locker. It had been almost eight
months since Brian had broken off their two-year relationship. "We've grown apart," he had told her, and she knew
it was true. She cared for Brian and she knew he cared for
her, but the last six months they were together it felt as if
their romance was based more on habit than on any kind
of genuine passion between them. They never seemed to
have much to say to one another anymore. Worse still,
when he took her in his arms and kissed her she felt ...
she felt ...

Leedy couldn't describe the way she felt when Brian
kissed her. His kisses still tasted sweet, but there was something missing. Something that she ached for, but couldn't define. When Brian kissed her, it felt more like she was
kissing an old friend than a lover. The passion that she told
herself had once been there was now long gone, and both
of them knew it.