Her Journey Begins (35 page)

  
“
Oh Sue, don
’
t you understand, I
’
m scared?
”

  
“
I know Chris, but for some reason, I can
’
t get it out of my head that she doesn
’
t know where you are. Please? Just let me drive you over there tomorrow.
”

  
“
I
’
ll think about.
”

  
“
Alright, well I guess I
’
ll go to bed. I
’
ll see you in the morning.
”

  
“
Night Sue.
”

Chris picks her book back up, but finds she can no longer concentrate on what she was reading.
“
Yes she would like to see mom and dad. It
’
s been a long time and she really does miss them, but
…”



   Pulling up in front of the house Chris is fidgeting big time. She looks towards the house, looks down at her hands and then tells Sue in a panicky voice,
“
I can
’
t do this.
”

Sue reaches across her and opens the door from the inside.
“
Yes you can, now come on. I
’
ll be with you every step on the way.
”

Standing on the porch Chris looks over at the swing. She can almost picture her and Brandon sitting there. Sue reaches around her and knocks. Barb opens the door.
“
Oh my God, Chrissy?
”
she whispers.

Chris looks at her,
“
Hi mom.
”

  
“
Brad! Brad! Come here!
”

  
“
I
’
m sorry, I won
’
t stay. I didn
’
t mean to bother you.
”

  
“
Chris
…”
Dad has come up behind mom and nods towards Sue.
“
Aren
’
t you going to introduce us?
”

  
“
I
’
m sorry, umm, dad, mom this is my friend Sue. Sue this is my mom and dad, Barb and Brad.
”

Sue reaches her hand out to Brad. Barb is speechless as she stares at Chris. Chris doesn
’
t know whether to laugh, cry or run and she starts clenching and unclenching her hands.

Barb reaches over and takes both of Chris
’
hands in her own.
“
Chrissy stop fidgeting.
”
Then she puts her arms around Chris and hugs her tightly.
“
Oh Chris
…
Where have you been?
”

Brad looks at Sue.
“
Want a cup of coffee?
”

Sue smiles at him.
“
I
’
d like that.
”
And she follows him into the house.

  
“
I had to go away mom. I
’
m so sorry. I wanted to come see you so many times, but I was scared.
”

  
“
We didn
’
t know what had happened to you.
”
We didn
’
t know
…”

  
“
Shh
…
I know mom. Sue was the one that talked me into coming here today.
”

  
“
Let
’
s sit down. Chris, are you and her
…”
Mom crisscrosses her fingers back and forth.

  
“
A couple?
”
Chris laughs,
“
Oh no mom, Sue is just a good friend. She
’
s like the sister I
’
ve never had. I
’
ve been staying at her apartment with her the past couple of months, but just moved into my own apartment this morning. Hey, I also have a new job, two actually.
”

  
“
What kind of job?
”

  
“
Well, for one, I am a health clerk at an elementary school and I am also working at a portrait studio part time as a photographer.
”

  
“
Brandon always knew you had a special talent for photography. Do you still have the camera he bought you?
”
Chris nods and looks down at her hands.

Barb notices that Chris seems more nervous than usual, not only is she talking too much, she
’
s also turning her ring around and around on her finger.
“
I see you are still wearing your wedding ring.
”

  
“
He is still my husband mom.
”

  
“
Come on let
’
s go in before you dad talks your friend
’
s ear off.
”

Walking in the kitchen Chris walks up behind Sue and whispers.
“
My mom thought we were a couple.
”

  
“
Chris!
”

  
“
Sorry mom I couldn
’
t resist.
”
Chris says laughing.
“
Besides, Sue wouldn
’
t want me for a partner, Phil is much better looking than I am and he has extra equipment.
”

Brad pours Barb and Chris a cup of coffee and handing Chris hers, he leans down and kisses her on top of the head before sitting back down at the table. Chris grabs a cookie off the plate that
’
s sitting on the table and her lips twitch as she looks at dad,
“
Do you still wear an apron when you cook?
”

  
“
Hey, are you laughing at me?
”

  
“
Never
”
And she grins.

  
“
Chris, do you and Sue want to stay for lunch?
”

  
“
No, I think we are going to go mom. I want to stop by the cemetery and see Brandon. It
’
s been awhile and I miss him.
”

Barb reaches over and grabs Chris
’
hand and Chris sees the tears in her eyes.
“
You will come back won
’
t you? I mean, you won
’
t walk out of here and just disappear again, will you?
”

  
“
No
…
Yes
…
I mean
…”
Chris looks down at her hand in Barb
’
s.
“
Mom, I will come back and no, I won
’
t disappear again. I
’
m so sorry that I did. I missed you and dad so much.
”

Sue looks at Brad,
“
Do you have a pen and paper handy?
”
He gets up and gets them for her. Sue writes down her phone number and the address and goes to hand it to Barb.

  
“
Oops, wrong address.
”
Sue says and scratches out the #2 and replaces it with #3.
“
I put my apartment number on it. The phone number is mine, because Chris won
’
t have a phone until next week, but you are more than welcome to call anytime.
”
And she hands the paper to Barb. Barb puts it in her pocket, gets up, and walks out of the room.

Chris looks over at Brad.
“
Dad?
”

  
“
I don
’
t know Chris.
”

Chris gets up planning to follow Barb into the other room when Barb comes back in and hands Chris an envelope.

  
“
What
’
s this?
”

  
“
Before Brent left for Chicago, he brought that by and said that if I ever saw you again to give it to you.
”

Chris folds it in half and stuffs it in her back pocket.
“
Well we should get going.
”

   Standing on the porch Barb doesn
’
t want to let go, as she hugs Chris close to her.

Brad taps Barb on the shoulder.
“
My turn. Hey how about next weekend you two come over and have lunch with us and
…”
Brad looks at Sue.
“
You know how to change oil in a car?
”

Sue raises her eyebrows, shakes her head and tells him no.

   
“
And we will teach her how to change the oil.
”

Laughing Chris hugs him,
“
That sounds like a deal to me.
”

Brad shakes Sue
’
s hand again and Barb hugs her and whispers,
“
Thank you for bringing her back to us.
”



   They pull up and park. Looking across the lawn Chris sees Brandon
’
s mom kneeling in front of the grave.

Sue looks over at Chris and sees her fidgeting.
“
Who is that?
”

Continuing to stare out the window, Chris tells her,
“
That
’
s his mom.
”

  
“
Do you want to come back later?
”

  
“
No
”
Chris whispers,
“
I knew she would be here. It
’
s time to make amends and let him be at peace. At least on my end.
”

As she goes to get out of the car, Sue puts her hand on Chris
’
arm.
“
Do you want me to walk up with you?
”

Chris shakes her head,
“
No, this is something that I have to do on my own.
”

   Chris walks up behind Brandon
’
s mom.
“
He loved you and he missed you every day. No matter what, you were still his mom.
”
She doesn
’
t turn around, but Chris can tell she
’
s starting to cry, as her shoulders start to shake.
“
He
’
d tell me stories about going to the cabin, and holidays, and all the fun things you used to do. That is, until he started high school and things changed. You changed he told me, and he never knew why. But I figured it out and I
’
m sorry. You can blame me for all that
’
s happened, but no matter what you do, you can never take away the love we shared. I will never let you do that.
”

Chris turns to walk away.
“
Chris
”
Chris stops, but doesn
’
t look back.
“
I
’
m sorry. I
’
m sorry about Brandon and the baby. He loved you more than life itself, but I didn
’
t want to see it. Thank you for loving him back.
”

Chris lets the tears fall as she walks over to where Sue is waiting for her.
“
Are you okay?
”

“
I will be, Chris tells her, I will be.
”

“
Heart
”
&
“
Soul
”