Her Heart's Secret Wish (2 page)

Ready for the party two hours before the appointed time, Natasha paced the living room floor. The apartment she shared with Fallon seemed so small whenever her roomie was away. The furniture so serious and quiet. The walls so white, cold, and tight. Rubbing her arms, she glanced at the door. Oh, to get out…or invite someone—anyone—in.

She picked up her cell phone from the coffee table. No missed calls. No messages. She sighed. Just because people hadn’t contacted her, didn’t mean she couldn’t call them. But who? Besides Fallon, she didn’t have anyone.

How sad was the reality of her life?

After all the guys she’d been with, hearts she’d broken, and people she’d met, she always ended up alone.

Whatever
.

She always ended up fine.

To pass the time, she entered Fallon’s bedroom and looked over the bookcases lining the walls. Her roommate had recently bought a new batch of books, which sat atop the shiniest shelf. New to her bookworm friend, because most of them were old and worn. She was amazed how much Fallon loved reading—anything, from classic literature to modern commercial fiction to college books and even manuals.

She scrutinized the books.
Hmm. Wonder if there’s a How-To book in here on me
? Because somehow, her sweet roommate had managed to penetrate the thick barricades she had built around herself. Though she’d been scared in the beginning, she was grateful Fallon hadn’t given up easily.

A flicker of fear flashed through her. What if her roommate did give up on her? What if she walked away from their friendship? What would happen to them when they graduated in less than two years?

Natasha rushed out of the bedroom as if she could outrun her dread and leave them behind.

She couldn’t stand being alone at the apartment anymore, and she needed something new to occupy her mind. After picking up her coat and purse, she left, not caring if she had to wander around campus to distract herself until the party.

The snow had transformed into ice on the paths and the stroll actually helped pass the time, since she had to take slow, small steps to avoid slipping with her high-heeled boots. Even so, she arrived at Gabriela’s building fifteen minutes early.

What to do now
?

Wait. What was she thinking?

She was Natasha.
The
Natasha, and
The
Natasha didn’t ask permission or wait for people or things or events. If she arrived early, the party started early.

The
Natasha pressed her internal charm button and plastered a wide smile over her lips.

“Hey, girlie,” Gabriela greeted her after opening the door to her apartment. “Come on in.”

She entered and slipped out of her coat. “Hey.”

The party hostess picked up her black trench coat and whistled, hanging it inside a closet. “Don’t you look gorgeous.”

Natasha twirled with grace and glamour, years of practice, and did a little curtsy at the end. “Thanks.”

Her entire outfit had been planned, from head to toe. As a fashion design student, it was her duty—except for when she worked at the bookstore and was forced to wear that terrible, oversize T-shirt—to always dress impeccably. And tonight wasn’t an exception. She had chosen a tight, mid-thigh, black-and-white, V-neck sweater dress, black pantyhose, and black knee-boots. Her long earrings made of black-and-white stones matched her ensemble perfectly. Even her makeup had been carefully applied, with shadows and lights brushed on all the right places.

“Where’s Suzie?” she asked, following her friend into the kitchen.

“Organizing the liquor bar in the living room. Would you help me out?” Gabriela picked up several plates from different cabinets. “Let’s put some appetizers on these and spread them throughout the living room.”

“Okay.”

She helped the hostesses finish arranging and decorating the apartment. The living room was beautiful, with a tall, colorful Christmas tree, and glimmering snowflake cutouts hanging from the ceiling.

At seven-fifteen, Natasha began worrying. “Are you sure there will be more people?”

“I am.” The girl opened a bottle of beer and took a sip. “This year, our party is gonna rock. I can feel it. It’s going to be much better than the first three. I’m telling you.”

Like her, Gabriela didn’t have family, and she’d implemented her traditional Christmas party for the few students who stayed on campus during holidays on her first semester, almost four years ago. Since her friend wasn’t a grade-A kind of student, Natasha figured the curvy blonde still needed at least two more years of school to finish her degree. Enough time for her to graduate and never spend another holiday alone.

Usually, Gabriela’s end-of-year festivities ranged from six to twelve people, but this time, by eight o’clock, the apartment held seventeen people. All seats had been filled, and the walls seemed to be held up by a sea of green-and-red adorned students. The R&B music the hostess loved beat loud, shaking the windows and making it hard to hear conversations.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Cohen stepped in Natasha’s way as she exited the kitchen. “Long time no see.”

“Hey.” She offered him a fake smile.

At the beginning of the year, she had slept with the guy, after way too many drinks—which was the reason behind most of her one-night stands. He’d been pursuing her ever since, even though she had been with other guys after him.

“How about we leave this place, go to my apartment, and celebrate there, just the two of us?” With each word, he stepped toward her, and she, trying to retreat, ended up with her back against the wall.

“But the party just started. We still have the Secret Santa thing Gabriela loves so much.” She glanced from side to side, searching for something to distract him, so she could escape.

“I don’t get it, you know.” He rested a hand on the wall next to her head and leaned closer. “I’m not ugly, and well, you seemed to have enjoyed our night together. Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not the relationship type, you know that.”

“Give me a chance, I’ll make you change your mind.” He bent over her, his lips aiming for hers.

She slapped her hand on his chest and forced him back. “Stop, Cohen, please. Don’t make me scream for help.”

His eyes widened. “I like it when you scream,” he whispered.

She pushed him harder, with all her strength, but he was way too strong for her. “Stop it.”

The front door opened, missing Cohen by two inches. She froze, her heart skipping a beat, as Jason stepped inside.

The last thing he had expected to see was Natasha in a corner with a guy, right at the entrance of the apartment.

Disgust revolved in his stomach as his gaze whizzed from her relieved expression to the guy’s mortal stare. Maybe his idea of coming to the party hadn’t been a good one after all.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his tone cold.

The guy brushed him aside. “Nothing that concerns you.”

“Cohen, back off.” She pushed him away from her. “This is Mr. Stone, a professor at the university.”

“Oh.” The guy stepped back. “Nothing was going on. We were just talking.”

“I see.” At least his title served for one good thing—to scare away ill-intentioned males. He looked at her, and her cheeks flushed. Embarrassment for being found doing what she was renowned for? He doubted it.

“We can talk again later,” Cohen said. He glared at Natasha as he retreated into the living room.

“Thank goodness, you arrived. I wasn’t strong enough to get rid of that creep.” Her delicate brows knitted together. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with your family?”

“Change of plans.” His tone was as harsh as his disappointment. “I had to stay and saw a few posters hanging around the school. Thought it was a better option than spending Christmas Eve alone.”

The corner of her lips curled up. “Definitely.”

Though he tried, he couldn’t ignore just how beautiful and vulnerable she appeared. Her long, brown hair fell around her porcelain face and into a smooth cascade down her back. Her usually energetic green eyes shone with relief instead. She wore red lipstick, which only made her mouth more inviting. The dress hugged her perfect curves, the hemline promising fun things on the other side.

Jesus
.

Jason shook his head and shifted his gaze away. He’d probably caught her making plans for later, and he still wanted her? His mind was so messed up.

“You don’t seem so well. What is it?” She stepped closer and her spicy perfume taunted his will.

He held his breath for a moment and focused. “I’m good.” He smiled at her, transforming into his usual self. The laidback gaming nerd, and fun professor he brought out for his students.

“Come in.” She gestured to the living room. “The party is starting.”

Somewhere over the last six or seven months, when their conversations had become more profound and frequent, he had lost his mind. Six or seven months ago, he would never have crashed a student party so he could stare at one of them.

Helpless, he followed her.

In the living room, Gabriela came to greet him, then she yelled, “Hey, y’all! Mr. Stone is in the house, so let’s behave.”

Laughter bounced around the crowded room. One of his gaming students, Aidan, approached him, easily engaging in a deep discussion about games. Death Knight orc, level eighty-five, dual spec in unholy and blood, and his adventures through the new land. Interesting stuff that could get him going for hours. Or even days.

Not tonight, though.

While talking about the game with Aidan, Jason casually scanned the room, pretending to admire the party, but making sure his gaze passed through wherever Natasha was. And she was everywhere, talking to everyone, laughing, smiling, charismatic and content, and cheery. Everyone seemed enchanted by her. She had a way of grabbing attention. If she wanted, she could keep the interest of all the people in the room at the same time, effortlessly.

Most guys kept glancing at her, desire written all over their faces, especially on Cohen’s—a fact corroding his insides. He wasn’t the violent type, but for some reason he wanted to punch the guy.

 “How is your project going?” Aidan asked. “I bet the game is gonna take a long while to be released, huh?”

“You know how the gaming industry is.” He forced his focus back to his student. “They haven’t even revealed the name of the game yet. Don’t expect it to come out the next year. Or the one after that.”

“Mr. Stone, nobody gave you a drink,” Natasha said, stopping beside him, and he grimaced upon hearing his formal name coming from her red lips. “What can I get you?”

“Are you playing hostess?”

“I’m helping.”

“Then a Coke, please.”

One of her brows cocked up.

“Seriously. I don’t drink.”

Shaking her head, she disappeared into the kitchen.

To his surprise, he found Aidan had moved three steps away and was talking to another group. Taking advantage of the sudden solitude, he walked to a corner with a small bookcase filled with used college books, mostly about math and physics. Boring stuff.

Natasha returned and handed him a glass with his beverage. “Here you go.” She had another glass of soda for herself.

He eyed the drink. “Coke?”

“I think it’s better if I don’t drink tonight.”

Why, so she didn’t throw herself at some guy, or was there another reason? He fought the urge but ended up glancing to the other side of the room, where Cohen still ogled her.

The conversation around them was loud, but even so, he lowered his tone and asked, “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“What?”

“Being at a party where there’s a guy ready to…I don’t know, attack you or something.”

She glanced to the floor. “I try not thinking about it.”

“Why not?”

She seemed unsure about answering him. Finally, she stared into his eyes. “Because everywhere I go, there’s a guy who looks at me as if I was some sort of prey. If I let myself think about it, I would never leave my room.” She turned to the bookcase and fingered the books’ spines. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” Jesus, he had to blow everything. He raised his hand to comfort her in some way, pat her back or maybe touch her skin, but he stopped himself before the situation became more awkward. “I had no idea you felt that way. You never gave me that impression.”

She smiled, and though it was weak, it didn’t stop his heart from doing a somersault. She was too damn beautiful.

“Sorry, I’m the one who shouldn’t be this honest.”

“I like you honest—”

Her finger stopped midair from one book to another, and he realized what he had said.

“I mean, I like it when you’re honest.” He cleared his throat. “I thought you were always honest when we talked.”

She leaned against the bookcase. “I am, but maybe I omit some parts. I know you know about my reputation and how people seem to think I’m some kind of love goddess around here, but I didn’t really want you to think that badly of me.”

They stared intently at each other. His heartbeat slowed for two seconds before going into overdrive.

He was losing the battle.

Chapter Three

Heat spread through her cheeks before diving low, under her belly. As much as she fought against it, she wasn’t immune to his charms.

Once again, Natasha hadn’t seen her professor or her friend in Jason’s eyes. And once again, he’d pulled back before she could discover what was hidden behind his blue gaze.

He turned to a commotion forming around the dining table, and she checked out his profile. The chiseled jaw and proud chin. The tousled black hair hanging over his eyes, and the five o’clock shadow starting to show. Every little detail of his being called to her.

But she couldn’t have any of it. For several reasons.

She shook the inappropriate desire off, approached the dining table, and soon sensed his body hovering close to her. Why were all the efforts she made to stay away from him in vain?