Heavy Metal (A Badboy Rockstar Romance) (6 page)

Once Brandon and I were seated on the otherwise empty Ferris wheel, the guy manning it turned a crank and we began to move.  I felt pretty special knowing that the ride was being operated just for us.  And the view we had at the top of the Ferris wheel was gorgeous.

“Look at that!” I breathed as I tried to take it all in.  “You can see the entire park!”

“You can see the river too,” Brandon pointed out.

“Oh wow!”

As I gazed around, I was overcome by how small and insignificant everything beneath us was.  Up there in the sky, life’s little problems didn’t seem quite so overwhelming.  In fact, everything looked miniature and perfect, like I was staring down at the world’s greatest dollhouse. 

All too soon, we were headed back down to earth. 

But somehow Brandon seemed to know I wasn’t ready to get off the Ferris wheel yet.  Or maybe he wasn’t ready himself.  Either way, he called out to the attendant and asked if we could go around again.  And up we went.

“This is so nice,” I said once we had stopped at the top again.  “We’re practically in the clouds!”

“It is pretty nice,” Brandon agreed.

Turning my attention to him, I asked, “So what’s your story?”

“What do you mean?”

“Last night on the drive to the city I told you a bunch of embarrassingly personal details about myself,” I reminded him.  “And yet I know next to nothing about you.  You’re in a band and girls chase after you everywhere you go.  Oh, and you like donuts.  And you have a mean left hook,” I added with a wink.

“Then I’d say you know a hell of a lot about me,” Brandon observed.

“Mmhmm, but tell me more.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” I replied.

He thought for a moment.  “Well there’s not much to tell, to be perfectly honest.  I’m an only child and was never that close to my parents.  They worked long hours and acted like I was more of an inconvenience than anything.  Like I told you before, I was kind of a loner in high school.”

“Why’s that?” I asked, thinking he and I had more in common than he knew.  After Angie had moved away I had found myself pretty much completely alone and entirely dependent on Carl.  It was the way he’d wanted it.

“In retrospect maybe I was a bit depressed, I don’t know.  Or maybe I was just socially inept,” Brandon joked, displaying his self-depreciative sense of humor once again.  “I wrote songs to pass the time.  They were like my version of a journal, I guess.  Then I went to college.”

“What happened there?”

“I met some buddies – the guys who are in the band with me now.  I stopped being such an outcast.  We started playing music.  On the weekends we’d do sets at the local campus bar, and before long we had a bit of a cult following, I guess you’d say.  I never set out to be famous, but I liked being a part of something,” he confided.  “I liked feeling as though I finally fit in somewhere, for once in my life.”

“And then you hit it big?”

“And then we hit it big.  I can still hardly believe it myself.  It was all such a whirlwind.”

“Well it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,” I told him earnestly. 

“This might sound weird but,” he began, his tone sincere, “I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“It does feel that way, doesn’t it?” I mused, surprised to learn Brandon was feeling the same way I was.  “I don’t normally talk to people the way I talked to you last night.  I treated you like...like you’re my therapist or something!” I laughed.  “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Well whatever it was, I’m glad it did.  I loved getting to know you.”

Suddenly I was aware of how close we were, and how alone we were up there together on top of the Ferris wheel.  I looked into Brandon’s eyes and saw nothing but kindness.  Inside he was a gentle, old soul and he was staring at me as though he thought I was beautiful.  It was all nearly too much to take in.

Maybe adrenaline was still pumping through my body after my very first experience on a rollercoaster.  Or maybe it was the deep, unavoidable attraction I felt toward Brandon.  Whatever the reason, I felt euphoric. 

It was as though there was no space or time up there on top of the Ferris wheel.  There was no Carl, no messed up childhood and no dysfunctional family.  There was only me and Brandon and the chemistry between us.

He leaned in closer.

I did the same.

Was this it?  Were we going to kiss?

I braced myself, unable to stop what had been set in motion.  More importantly, I didn’t
want
to stop it.  Brandon was kind, sweet and respectful.  He was also drop dead gorgeous.  And if I was to be completely honest with myself, I desperately wanted him to kiss me.

All of a sudden the Ferris wheel gave a jerk and began to move.

Just like that, the spell was broken.

Still looking at each other, we laughed uncomfortably.  It was as though neither one of us was quite sure what had just happened – or rather, what hadn’t.  I slid my body to the far side of the bench we sat on, away from Brandon.  He picked up the stuffed lion he’d won me at the ring toss and began to casually throw it from hand to hand.

What would have happened had we not been interrupted?

I supposed I would never know.

Chapter 05

“Do you ever wonder if there’s life out there?” Brandon asked thoughtfully, his voice hoarse.

After arriving back at the hotel, happy and tired from our afternoon at the amusement park, Brandon and I had retreated to his hotel room.  There, we had ordered room service and watched a terribly cheesy movie on television, laughing the entire time about how bad it was.

Now night had fallen and we were sitting outside on the balcony of his penthouse suite, side by side on matching recliners.  We had wrapped ourselves in the plush down-filled comforters from the bed to keep the chill at bay, thankful it was an unseasonably mild night.

And we were staring up at the stars.

“Sometimes,” I admitted in response to Brandon’s question.

“Do you think there is?”

“Probably,” I replied at once, without even needing to think about it.

“What makes you so sure?” Brandon asked.

I shrugged.  “It would be awfully obnoxious to think we’re all there is, no?”

He chuckled at my answer and turned onto his side so he was facing me.  Propping his head up on his arm, he looked at me attentively.  “I’ve never thought of it that way, but I guess you have a point.  What do you think life is like on other planets?”

“Wonderful,” I answered without hesitation.  “It’s wonderful.”

“And you know that how?”

“They’re so happy up there on their own planets that they’ve never bothered to invade Earth,” I pointed out.  “Although maybe invade is a strong word.  Who’s to say aliens are hostile?  Maybe they’re really nice.”

“Maybe they are,” Brandon agreed, before sitting up and stretching.  He stifled a yawn, and then leaned over me.  “You’re shivering,” he observed, as attentive as ever.  “Let’s go inside.”

“Can we please stay a bit longer?” I pleaded, not ready to go inside just yet.  Inside there were tough decisions to make and ugly realities to face.  I was much happier sitting outside with Brandon fantasizing about life on other planets, even if it did mean I might freeze in the process.

“But your teeth are chattering,” he pointed out, clearly bothered by the thought of me being uncomfortable in any way.

“Please?”

“Oh alright,” he relented.  Then before I could stop him, he pulled off his comforter and carefully wrapped it around me.  “This should help keep you warm.”

“What about you?” I asked, concerned.  The night air really was chilly.

“I’m fine,” he assured me gallantly.

“No,” I told him, shaking my head.  “Get under here with me.”

I held up the two comforters and Brandon obediently crawled underneath them.  The recliner wasn’t exactly intended for two people but as long as he kept his body close to mine, we fit quite nicely.  It was something I wouldn’t have been physically able to do back when I had been heavy – not that Carl would have been interested in cuddling anyway.

The heat from Brandon’s body warmed me more than the comforters ever could.  A warm blush spread over me.  There was something intensely satisfying about the two of us just lying there together staring up at the stars in silence, our bodies almost touching.  

But when Brandon finally broke the silence, I didn’t exactly mind.

“Okay, I just have to say it,” he blurted out all of a sudden.  “I’ve been thinking it all night.”

“What?”

“You’re really beautiful, Hayley.”

Immediately, I felt my face redden.  My first instinct was to protest and point out all my flaws whether real or imagined.  But instead I somehow found it in me to simply say, “Thank you.”  Then I couldn’t help but add, “I’m wearing the same clothes I slept in last night and I don’t have any makeup on.”

“I’ll buy you new clothes,” Brandon offered.  “And you don’t need makeup – you’re stunning without it.  But if you want it, then you can have it.  I’ll buy you whatever you want.  I’m not trying to be an asshole who flaunts his money, by the way,” he assured me.  “All I’m saying is that I don’t want you to worry.  I will take care of you.”

“Why would you do that?” I couldn’t help but ask.  At first Brandon had been a Good Samaritan, stepping in to help me out of a bad situation.  But what he was offering to do for me now went far beyond generosity.  I didn’t understand his motives.

“Honestly?”  He paused and then said, “I don’t want to come across as Brandon the poor little rich boy because that would just make me sound like a douche.  But sometimes when I’m up there onstage in front of tens of thousands of people?  That’s when I feel the most alone.  I like having you around.  It’s the only time I don’t feel lonely.”

“I...actually feel the same,” I told him, the realization hitting me like a ton of bricks.  “Well, aside from the being a rich and famous rock star, I mean.  Or is it a metal star?  I may have my terminology wrong.”

He snorted.  “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Thank you?”

“It was a compliment,” he confirmed, sliding his arm behind my head.  He gazed into my eyes then and quietly told me, “I have to leave in the morning.  I have to be on the tour bus bright and early.  Come with me.”

It wasn’t immediately clear to me whether he was inviting me or begging me.

All I knew was that I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him yet.

“Are you sure?” I asked tentatively, wondering if he had thought it through.

“Of course I’m sure,” he replied. 

His face was only inches from mine and the physical closeness was the only thing I could concentrate on.  Brandon had a strange effect on me that no man had ever had before.  He made my skin grow hot and tingly and my heart beat a mile a minute.  I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to kiss him. 

“Okay,” I agreed before I’d even had a chance to think about it.  “I’ll come with you.”

It was only after I said the words that I wondered what I was getting myself into.  I was basically putting my trust in a guy I’d known for little more than twenty-four hours, throwing caution to the wind to join him on the road as he toured the country.

Was I being reckless?  My life with Carl was no walk in the park, but it was one of relative comfort and safety.  Sure, Carl didn’t give a damn about my opinions.  He didn’t care about my physical needs as long as his were met, and he took even less of an interest in my emotional needs.  But he had saved me from my awful home life.  That counted for something, didn’t it?

“You look so serious.  What are you thinking about?” Brandon mumbled, his voice husky and his words slow, as though he was on the verge of falling asleep.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Sure it does.  Are you still cold?”

“Not cold enough to want to go inside,” I replied, perfectly content to stay in the moment.

“Okay.”  Brandon put his arm around me and pulled me close to him, so that my back was nestled up against his chest.  Sharing his body heat actually did help warm me up.  But what
really
warmed me up was the thrill of feeling him pressed up against me.

He didn’t try to make a move, and I loved him for it.  Instead, he merely held me.  It was such a simple thing, yet I was surprised to find it was affecting me in a very deep and personal way.  I had been aching to be held for ages – for my entire life, really.  I just hadn’t known it. 

Now that I knew what it felt like to be cradled in a man’s arms without him trying to get something in return, I didn’t know how I had ever lived without it.  And I didn’t know how I would ever be able to settle for Carl again after discovering what I had been missing out on.

Maybe I wouldn’t.

For the very first time, I dared to dream about the possibility of a better life.

Chapter 06

If I’d had any lingering doubts about the extent of Brandon’s fame, they were extinguished the second I stepped onto his band’s tour bus.