Heart's Design: A Contemporary Christian Romance (21 page)

Toby nodded. “Tell me what else you’ve prayed for and hoped the Lord would bless your efforts.”

“You mean about anything in my life? Mainly that I’d finish my education and then find a job in my field. Preferably one that I love.”

“And that’s worked out for you just fine, hasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Seth said, nodding slowly, wondering where Toby was headed with this thread. “I’ve been blessed.”

“Everything in its season, like those MacIntosh apples sitting in my basket over there.” Toby angled his head at the plastic basket with the bananas and bag of apples. “You studied hard to earn your degrees and you’ve proved you were worthy.”

Seth frowned. “Are you saying I’m not worthy of Caroline?”

“Not at all.” Chuckling under his breath, Toby fixed him with his gaze. “I’m saying that it sure seems to me the good Lord brought Caroline into your life to help you deal with this bitterness in your soul. The best way to deal with bitterness is to face it head on and find the blessing in it. Otherwise, it’s gonna stay deep down inside you and fester. And then it’ll grow like a cancer. Take me, for example. You might be surprised to know that I only have vision in one eye.”

Seth snapped up his head in surprise. “Wow. But you paint such beautiful works of art and now you’re making the jewelry for Caroline. How is that possible?”

“It’s possible because the Lord sharpened my other eye. I see lighting, depth, and color in a way most people never can. God used my weakness and He’s perfected it, but it’s not through anything I’ve done on my own. At first, I blamed God. Railed at him for robbing me of the joy I took in my painting. I was wrong but it took some time for me to see it. You see, son, God didn’t take away my
ability
to paint. My joy was still there. He might have readjusted a few things, but after everything was said and done, I ended up with a stronger talent than before. All without the sight in one eye. When I could finally see what He wanted me to learn, how could I blame Him for anything?”

Seth nodded and the beginnings of awareness stirred inside him.

“Now, think about our Caroline. That girl’s been hurting for a long time. From what she’s told me, her mother never showed her much love. Her father did what he could and she knows she’s loved, but their way of showing love is different. They live in a way most folks can’t imagine. Caroline thinks she disappointed her father by quitting law school, and that might be true. But my guess is he’s hurting, too, because he’s a father, and she rarely talks with him or goes home. Duncan Prescott is a fallible man, just like you and me. But if he raised a daughter like Caroline, then he can’t be all bad now, can he?”

“You’re right,” Seth said. “So, what you’re telling me is that I need to get over myself and forgive him.”

Toby smiled as he finished his coffee. “Now you’re talking. One of my favorite verses is in Ephesians. It goes like this: ‘Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.’”

Seth pondered the verse as Toby slowly rose to his feet. “I’ll be praying for you, Seth. Caroline’s still new in her faith but you and the Lord? You’ve got a strong history together.” With both hands on the table, Toby leaned closer. “Be an ambassador for Christ for that young lady and then help her be one to her family. Be her friend and show her how it’s done.” Retrieving his basket, Toby prepared to leave. “Give that sin and bitterness inside you over to Jesus, son. Let him handle what you can’t.”

“Thanks, Toby. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I appreciate you.”

The other man nodded. “Welcome. You know, I’m pretty sure Someone sent me in here today, and I’m not talking about my wife.” With a small salute and a grin, Toby departed.

Chapter 24
~~♥~~

When Bryce called the next week, Caroline told him the story of going to Old Speck. He’d heard all about Seth before, during, and since she’d left Boston. Probably heard more about Seth than he’d wanted to know.

“Sounds like your friends gave you the best advice,” he said after she’d finished her spiel. “That’s pretty wild that Dad prosecuted Seth’s father’s case, huh? Pretty unbelievable. Small world.”

“Right.” Caroline frowned as Bryce’s last two words unknowingly shot another arrow straight into her bruised heart. “Is that the best you can come up with? I was hoping you’d be able to lend some helpful
male
insight.”

As much as Caroline wanted to be a positive influence on her older brother and show him how having Christ in her life had changed her, it wasn’t working for her right now. Her attitude was pretty much flushed down the drain.

Sorry, Jesus. I’m not up to anything more right now.
Besides, it was late on a Tuesday night, and she was tired. In love with a man who… How to finish that thought? But, no doubt about it, she loved Seth Barnes.
Lord, what do I do now?
Could she pass Seth on the street and pretend she felt nothing for him? See him sitting in Evergreen Community Church when he was in town and act like her life wasn’t falling apart? She couldn’t begin to think about Seth with Jenica. If she did, she’d want to throw something against the wall.
             

“Give the guy a break is all I’m saying,” Bryce said. “He needs some time to work it all out.”

“Bryson James, he’s only had two years plus to work it out since we met, and he’s had years to work out his anger toward Dad.”

“Not to change the subject, but do you still think Mother swiped that letter Seth mailed to you?”

“I honestly don’t think it even matters anymore.” With a grimace, Caroline pulled the ponytail holder from her hair and shook her head so that her hair tumbled down around her shoulders.

“As far as the situation with his girlfriend, I’m warning you now. If you act jealous, Seth will probably turn and hightail it as fast as he can in the opposite direction. I don’t think you want that to happen.” When Bryce heard her protest, he insisted. “I’m serious, Butternut Squash.”

As he knew it would, that made her burst out laughing. “Thanks, I needed that.”

“You wanted the male opinion, so I’m giving it to you. You’ve helped me enough times with my love life. The fastest way to make a guy feel trapped is to pull the possessive routine. Act like it doesn’t bother you that he’s dating this woman. Show him that you can live just as well without him.
That
will get his attention real quick. Trust me.”

“You must have a lot of faith in my appeal to the opposite sex.”

“You’re a great looking girl. Let me tell you something you might find enlightening. When you used to come up to Columbia for the weekend, why do you think half my fraternity brothers showed up at the house? Give you a clue. They weren’t there to hang out with
me
.”

“Really?” Caroline couldn’t help it. She’d squeaked out that question.

“Really. But you were too focused on your studies and getting through school. Which is a good thing, in a way. You know, Caroline, since you’ve moved up there to that little mountain town, I’ve seen you changing. You’re starting to come out of your self-imposed cocoon. Before, it’s like you had that cocoon around you to protect you from getting too close to anyone else and getting hurt.”

Sitting up straighter in her chair, she felt a chill. “You make me sound like I was an unhappy person before.  Send me your bill for the therapy. Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”

“Because you probably wouldn’t have listened. Look, as long as you were under Mother and Dad’s thumb, I don’t think you would have been able to see it. You were too blinded.”

“You’re probably right. How’d you turn out so normal?”

“Give me time.” Bryce laughed. “I actually had a reason for calling. I’ve met someone. Her name’s Tiffany. She works downtown as a marketing rep for a pharmaceutical firm.”

“I’m happy for you, Bryce. Tell me more.”

Twirling her hair around one finger, Caroline listened as Bryce filled her in on the wonder that was Tiffany. Bryce hadn’t sounded so excited about a girl in a long time, and she
was
happy for him. Really, she was. And maybe the tiniest bit jealous. From what he told her, Tiffany sounded promising as a potential long-term girlfriend. He was a wonderful man with a lot to offer, but until now, he hadn’t been settled enough in his work at the law firm, or in his personal life, to commit to one woman. Maybe it was time. He wasn’t getting any younger, and she’d love some nieces and nephews.

“Have Mother and Dad met her yet?”

“No, but I’m hoping to bring her home to dinner soon.” He laughed. “The big test. I wanted to make sure I had her hooked before throwing her to the sharks.”

Caroline sighed. “That’s wonderful that you’ve met someone.”

“Before I sign off, I wanted to suggest that you might want to ease up a little on the parental units.”

She stopped twirling her hair. “Excuse me?”

“Same as with Seth, I guess. Give them a chance. All this stuff about your quitting law school has finally cooled down. You just haven’t been around to see it. You have to understand something. They were disappointed in your decision, your choice. That’s different than being disappointed in
you
. In their own way, Mother and Dad miss you and they’re proud of you for being strong and independent enough to move apart from the fold and forge your own path in life. You’re like Dad was when he was starting out, scrappy and fighting for what he wanted. And just look at you now, Caroline. You’ve accomplished so much—bought a house, started a thriving career from what I hear, and you’re making some great friends. You are valued and loved in that community. How many people can honestly say they’ve found that kind of acceptance and love in their lives?”

“I don’t know.” Bryce’s words encouraged her more than he could possibly know. “I imagine not many. Are you saying Dad’s proud of me?”

“Exactly. And in a weird way, our parents can’t help themselves. Think about it. Their lives are ordered and neat, and their only daughter—who’s always been so obedient, smart, and the perfect student—threw them a huge monkey wrench.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Caroline said. Wishy-washy response. Some great Christian testimony she was for her older brother.

“Like I said, the folks are coming around and slowly adjusting. Matter of fact, don’t be surprised if they show up on your doorstep one of these days in those Maine foothills you seem to love so much.”

Caroline sat up straighter. “Don’t scare me like that, Bryce. You about gave me a panic attack.” Would her parents really do such a thing? “Warn me if Mother starts talking about buying hiking boots.” Although she laughed, it rang hollow.

“Well, they’d probably call ahead, but I’m just saying you shouldn’t discount it. It could happen.”

“You’re serious?” The thought of Duncan and Eleanor Prescott trekking from Boston to Evergreen seemed unlikely.

Hearing a knock, Caroline startled and glanced at her watch. Almost nine-thirty. Who would be showing up on her doorstep this late in the evening without calling first?

“Bryce, I’ve got to go. Someone’s at the door.”

“Go ahead and answer it. I’m not hanging up until I know you’re not opening your door to a serial killer. You live near the woods, after all.”

“Don’t be smart. Evergreen’s the safest town in the world.”

“Not. Hanging. Up.”

“I’ll go peek and let you know. Then you can hang up.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Suit yourself.” With her phone in her hand, Caroline walked through the living room and peeked through the peephole. And dropped the phone.

Chapter 25
~~♥~~

“Caroline, we need to talk.” Not bothering to wait for an invitation, Seth brushed past her and walked—more like stalked—into her living room. Carrying a huge bouquet of red roses.

“Come in, why don’t you?” She pushed the door closed and retrieved her cell phone from the hardwood floor, hoping it wasn’t broken. Relief swept through her when it seemed to be fine, and she mumbled something fairly unintelligible to Bryce.

“Seth or the Big Bad Wolf?” Bryce asked, chuckling under his breath.

“The first one. I think. I’ll talk to you soon.” She dropped her phone into the pocket of her pajamas.

Seth pivoted to face her, fidgeting from one foot to the other. Nervous Seth was certainly a sight to see. “I’m sorry I didn’t call first, and I apologize for showing up so late, but I was in town.” He held out the flowers to her. “These are for you. I grew them in my garden.”

“Thank you,” she said, stroking one finger over a velvety-smooth petal. “They’re beautiful. I’ll add rose cultivation to your increasing list of talents. May I ask why?”

He looked momentarily confused and shook his head. “Why I grow them?”

She sighed. “Why did you bring them here to me tonight? In my home? Late on a Tuesday night?” She bit her tongue not to say it’d been weeks since he’d bothered to communicate with her. No, she needed to remember Bryce’s advice. Play it cool.

“Just because I work with rocks for a living doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate rare beauty.”

Caroline tilted her head, tempted to grin. Although she knew Seth was talking about the roses, she couldn’t resist teasing him. “Now you’re comparing me to a rock?”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “Most definitely not.”

“I wish I’d known you were coming.” For one thing, she would have dressed in something a bit more appropriate.

“I wasn’t sure how you’d react to seeing me considering our last meeting,” he said. “Do you want to go put them in water or something?”

“They’ll live. First, I want to know why you’re really here.”

Seth’s appraising glance took her in from head to toe as she stood before him. “Is that a moose on your pajamas? You really have embraced living in Maine, haven’t you?”

“Is that a complaint?” She refused to allow him to make her feel self-conscious. “I should think you, of all people, would be pleased that I’ve embraced all that is The Pine Tree State. I just need to get a pair of moose poop earrings and I’m all set.” Where this conversation was headed was anyone’s guess. But it was starting to get a little fun.

“It’s definitely not a complaint. In fact, it’s the opposite.” Seth stepped closer, but Caroline stood her ground. Her pulse was shooting into overdrive the closer he came.

Straightening her shoulders, she tapped one foot up and down like a moose in heat. Then she lifted one foot for him to see. “May I present the matching slippers? If you park yourself for a second, I’ll run into the bedroom and grab the matching robe. I have the entire Early Moose collection, vintage reproductions, circa 1978. It’s really quite fabulous.”

Although she was being ridiculous, at least Seth smiled. That wonderful, heart-melting smile. Caroline steeled herself not to allow that smile to work its way further into her subconscious. Into her…heart. Fat chance.

“Caroline, you could be wearing the most ridiculous thing in the world—you’re sort of close to the edge now—and I wouldn’t care. Can we talk for a minute?”

“I thought that’s what we were doing. Last I remember, I asked you for an explanation. May I remind you that showing up like this isn’t appropriate considering—”

“Just be quiet. Please.” Removing his jacket, he tossed it over the nearest chair and then moved his hands down to his hips. She wished he hadn’t done that. The man was too attractive even at this late hour in his full Mountain Man mode—jeans, boots, and a red flannel shirt with a white T-shirt peeking out beneath it.

Caroline stared at him, wide-eyed, and closed her mouth. He’d asked her to be quiet and she needed to prove she could, but he’d better say something soon or she couldn’t be held responsible for what she might say or do. When he still hadn’t spoken a few seconds later, she could take it no longer. “Seth, there must be a reason you’re here so late in the evening. Would you care to share it with me?”

“I’m getting there. Give me a second.”

“Could you get there a little faster?” She feigned a yawn. Seeing him standing in her living room now, Caroline knew she wanted Seth Barnes in her life, no matter the terms. As much as she ached inside, she’d try to be patient and accept whatever he was willing to offer. If that made her pathetic, so be it, but she cared too much about him to dismiss him from her life. He was her friend and, at this point, that’s all it’d ever been and might
ever
be between them.

Before she could blink, Seth moved his arms around her, pulling her close.

Maybe I was wrong
. Dazed, she planted her hands on his chest. A wonderful mistake. The evidence of all his rock climbing, mountain hiking, and everything else Seth did to stay in such great physical shape was fully manifested in the firm chest beneath her palms.

Seth’s mouth hovered over hers, a heartbeat away. She was enveloped in the man—his warmth, his eyes, his masculine scent. So close she could smell his minty fresh breath.
Oh, my
.

Seth dipped his head and brushed her lips with his.

“What are you doing?” She tried to infuse her question with at least a little outrage but failed miserably. The roses slipped from her grasp and scattered on the floor.

“Something I wanted to do a long time ago. Something I
should
have done a few weeks ago.”

Seth pressed his lips to hers, slowly at first—testing, nipping, teasing. She was so weak she couldn’t resist him. His lips were warm, his hands around her waist protective. As she lost herself in his kiss, Caroline’s will to protest faded into the background. She’d never been kissed like this in her entire life—sweet, tender, wonderful, and then increasingly more insistent but never demanding. Respectful but stirring unprecedented emotions inside her, scattering them in all directions like the roses at her feet.

All those things she’d ever heard about fireworks going off when you kissed someone for the first time? Romantic fluff, all of it. At least that’s what she’d always thought before. But now, kissing this man, Caroline could have sworn the antlers on her moose slippers were dancing. Right. She
was
certifiable. But she didn’t care.

Wait a minute. They couldn’t be kissing. This wasn’t right.
Oh, Lord, forgive me. I’m an adulteress
. Is that what it’s called if neither party is married?

Using all the force she could muster, Caroline pushed away from him. “Don’t tease me, Seth. Please. That’s just cruel.” Standing a few feet away, panting, she moved one hand over her stomach before rising to her full height and pinning him down with the force of her glare. “Friends don’t kiss each other like that. Don’t ever kiss me again unless you mean it.”

Seth inched closer, his eyes boring into hers. “Oh, I meant it, Caroline.”

They stared at one another for a long moment without either one speaking. She could barely breathe and had no idea what to do next.

“I’m going about this all wrong. I don’t mean to tease you. But…wait a second.” Seth tilted his head but had the good sense not to give her a smug or self-satisfied smile. “Why did you say that?”

Might as well spill her guts. Scatter them on her hardwood floor and pick up the pieces later. “You want to know why? Because you’re with Jenica. If I can’t have you, Seth Cameron Barnes, then I sure as anything don’t want you standing in my house going on ten in the evening because, believe you me, the neighbors are going to talk since no one else drives a white Ford truck with an
I Dig Rocks
license plate. I can’t risk sullying my reputation for a man who’s in love with a Hummel-collecting, dark-haired girl who doesn’t fully appreciate the value of the ridiculously inarticulate and frustrating man standing in my living room right now.”

Breathing heavily with the force of her emotion, Caroline stopped. Her hair was wild, she was wearing moose pajamas and matching slippers, complete with antlers, and basically telling Seth Barnes that she loved him. Was the planet out of alignment tonight? What was happening? Not to mention the deep red, beautiful roses—at least two dozen—scattered around her feet.

“My point being that you can’t go around kissing women if you supposedly have feelings for another woman,” she said. “Doesn’t exactly speak well for you, now, does it? That’s not right. Why don’t you go figure out what you want, or better yet,
who
you want, and then come see me! Maybe, just maybe, I’ll still be here waiting. I guess you’ll just have to take that chance. But don’t count on it.” Stalking toward the front door, Caroline yanked it open.

“Like I said, I meant it.” Seth slowly walked toward the open door, taking her heart with each step. “Just so you’ll know, I’m not kissing
women
…just you. I want you in my life. Now that you’re here in Maine, I’m not about to let you go again.” Instead of walking out her front door, he pushed it closed with one hand. When he pulled her into his arms this time, Caroline went willingly. Lord help her, she didn’t care. She wanted Seth’s kiss more than her next breath.

“I broke up with Jenica,” Seth said, tightening his hold on her. “I was with her for all the wrong reasons. You’re the one I want, Caroline. Ever since I first met you, it’s only been you. I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind, especially since you moved here to Maine. You don’t know how glad I am about that.”

“I didn’t do it for you. Move here to Maine, I mean. Just so we’re clear.”

“I realize that. You already told me. And I’m glad you did it for you, not me.”

“Is Jenica okay?” she murmured.

His lips brushed over hers again. “She’ll be fine. She took it well. I’m not worried about her and you shouldn’t be, either.”

“I’m not, really, but isn’t it the Christian thing to do to wait at least a certain amount of time after breaking up with someone before you kiss another woman? Wait. How long
has
it been? I’m new at this. What’s protocol?”

“I don’t know, and at the moment, I honestly don’t care. If you want me to leave”—he brushed those marvelous lips over hers, tempting her beyond belief—“I’ll leave. Just say the word.” He didn’t release his hold. She wasn’t about to let him release her. Seth kissed the tip of her nose. Gazed at her through eyes full of emotion that told her so much.

“What about the elephant in the room? How can you care about me and not like my dad very much?” She refused to say the word hate. She couldn’t believe that, in his heart, Seth truly hated her father.

Seth tipped her chin. “I love his daughter, and we’ll get through it together. You see, I’ve had an epiphany or two recently.” His blue eyes were shining with truth, with love. For her, and oh, what joy filled her soul. “You are so beautiful and wise beyond your years.”

She smiled. “That was your epiphany?”

Seth leaned his forehead against hers. “Hear me out on this, please. Even though I feel your father went after my dad in an overzealous way, and I made him a scapegoat, I can finally say I forgive him. And yes, maybe it stems all the way back to the time of Jared’s death. Guilt and remorse can do a number on a person like you can’t even believe. But the person I most needed to forgive is
me
. So, you see, I desperately need you in my life, Caroline Prescott.”

“I need you, too, Seth Barnes, and it seems I can’t stay mad at you for long. I could be in some seriously big trouble here.”

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that,” Seth murmured, caressing her cheek. “You’ve got me. I love you, Caroline.” He cradled her cheeks between his large, warm hands. “You’re not my small world story, you
are
my story.”

She sighed. “I love you, too, Seth. I always have.”

Seth lowered his lips to hers. And all was right with the world.