Heart's Design: A Contemporary Christian Romance (12 page)

“So, this is good-bye.” Accepting his hand, Caroline slid off the porch swing.

“Afraid so.” Seth gathered her in his arms and held her. Like he didn’t want to let her go. She didn’t
want
him to let her go.

Caroline closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead, his lips feathering across her skin, warming it. Leaning her head on his broad shoulder, inhaling the musky scent of his cologne, she felt the steady, strong beat of his heartbeat. Never could she have imagined she’d allow a man she barely knew to hold her this way. Not because it was a physical temptation, but because it was comfort. Friendship. Caring and a love she couldn’t understand flowed through Seth from the God he loved, the Lord he served.

“Thank you for the Bible.” She cradled it against her, holding on tight. She’d cherish it as much for the giver as for what it contained within its pages. “I’ll treasure it.”

“Don’t thank me. Just try to read it, even a little at a time, and try to remember what I said.”

“I will. Will I ever see you again?” Her voice was hoarse and full of emotion as she withdrew from his embrace and her eyes searched his.

“I hope we will.” His eyes were bright in the reflected moonlight. “That’s where trust in God’s plan for our lives comes into play.”

“Do you feel it, too?” The words slipped out before Caroline could think them through, but she didn’t regret them. Not for one moment.

He nodded slowly, making her thankful she’d asked. Thankful he hadn’t laughed in her face.

“Let’s not be a small world story, right?” Another tear slipped down her cheek.

“Exactly.” Neither one spoke as Seth walked beside her to the front door and pulled it open.

They stared at one another for a long moment. He stepped forward, and Caroline read the indecision in his eyes. She knew what Kat would do in this moment but she wasn’t Kat.

Backing away from him, Caroline stumbled over the threshold. With one hand, Seth took hold of her, steadying her. A small smile played about his lips. With their hands joined, their gazes met and held. How long they stood there, she couldn’t know.

Finally, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek, imprinting this moment and his wonderful smile in her mind. “Good night, Seth. Until next time.”

“Until next time, Caroline.”

Then she turned and headed up the staircase without looking back.

Chapter 13

~~♥~~

Seth stood at the front door, staring outside, focusing on nothing as he sipped his black coffee. He’d had enough coffee to float him down the river and the sun had barely risen on the horizon.

He felt a hand pat him on the back. “Good morning.”
Beverly
.

“Good morning.” He lowered his mug and gave her a quick, one-armed hug.

“She’s already gone. They left at the crack of dawn.”

“I know. We said our good-byes last night.” He turned to face Beverly. The warmth of the mug in his hands gave him an odd comfort this morning. Seth gripped it tighter. He’d been up early and heard the girls going down the front staircase. Kat and Paulina couldn’t be quiet if they tried. He’d heard Caroline say a few words, spoken low and confidently. Their leader. Everything in him had wanted to bound down those stairs and pull Caroline close for a hug, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t trust himself or the feelings being with her last night had stirred up inside him. As much as he’d like to stay in Evergreen until after the church service—he’d enjoy the fellowship and the time of prayer might help his current state of mind—his dad needed him at home. So, he’d leave soon.

“Good-bye or good-bye
for now
?” Tilting her head, Beverly gave him one of her looks. She was a master at it. A look that told him she could read him better than he could understand himself sometimes. At times, like now, that quality was a mixed blessing.

“I guess only the Lord can answer that one. I don’t expect to know for a while.”

“Did you get her contact information?”

He nodded. “I did. I gave her mine and I gave her something else.”

Beverly’s brows lifted. “Oh? What’s that?”

“My old Bible. The well-worn, black leather bound one.”

“Isn’t that the one your grandfather gave you?” When he nodded, she said, “Your favorite Bible that you always carry even though you have a newer one?”

“The same.” Seth took another quick sip and then paused to inhale the rich scent of the coffee. He loved his morning brew. Nothing was better to get his juices flowing and his body moving. The richer the coffee the better. Even though he’d had a strong cup the night before at Java Joe’s. “I know my Grandpa Ted would approve.”

She nodded. “Then I’m sure he would. Lovely gesture, I have to say. Generous and heartfelt.”

“I just pray she’ll read it. Take it to heart. Learn something. Ask questions. Fight it, if she needs to. Ponder it.” Seth narrowed his eyes and met Beverly’s clear-eyed gaze. “Bev, is it wrong to wonder how a mother and father with all the resources in the world at their disposal wouldn’t want to raise their daughter in the church? Any kind of church? Even people who don’t know the Lord usually want their kids to have some kind of foundation of faith. If nothing else, to make them feel like they’ve provided some kind of spiritual guidance as parents when their kids mess up their own lives later on.”

“Someone’s being optimistic this morning.” Beverly blew out a breath. He appreciated how she wasn’t moving about the room, straightening a pillow or repositioning a magazine on the table. Anything to keep her busy. His friend was so conditioned to cleaning and organizing that he rarely saw her when she stood still. Seth liked this side of her and hoped maybe she’d start to take it easy more often. Paul had hinted that he might suggest to his mother-in-law that they gradually begin handling more of the duties around the inn. Beverly’s knees were giving her some trouble, and her arthritis had been acting up again. Randy’s health hadn’t been good for some time and he’d already suffered one heart attack three years ago. Everything in its season, and maybe it was time. He’d pray that Beverly recognized it as such.

“I’m only being realistic.”

“Well, you gave Caroline your Bible. I’m sure she recognized its importance in your life. We send our children into the world armed with what we can provide and then it’s up to them to make their own mistakes and live their lives the best way they can. I know she’s not your child, but it’s the same idea. It’s time to let Caroline go, honey. Pray for her and let her find her own way. Or not. It might take time. She might never come to faith in Christ, but we need to pray she will.”

Seth darted a glance at Beverly, not wanting to dwell on that comment although he knew how true it was, how realistic it was. “I know.”

“With you and me praying for her—I’ll get her added to the church prayer chain, too—let’s see how the Lord can do a mighty work in her life. She’s a girl who needs to work through some issues with her family. From what I gather, her mother’s never been a stable influence in her life and her father’s on the opposite end of the spectrum, an overwhelming presence. Someone she believes she’ll never please.” Beverly shook her head. “That poor girl carries a lot of weight on those slender shoulders.”

“You’re right. That’s what she pretty much told me last night. We went for coffee at Java Joe’s. Talked a bit. Then when we came back here, we sat in the swing, and that’s when I gave her the Bible.”

“Then that’s a good start. Want some breakfast?” Beverly turned to go.

“Not yet. Maybe in a bit.”

She paused in the doorway to the kitchen. “You amaze me sometimes, Seth.”

That made him chuckle. “In what way?”

“After our conversation in the kitchen yesterday morning, I’m just surprised. That’s all.”

He turned to face her. “I have no idea what you mean.”

Beverly’s eyes widened. “Oh, my. You don’t know who Caroline’s father is, do you?”

Seth shook his head slowly. “No, I guess I don’t. Come to think of it, I never even asked her last name. I’ve been too distracted, and I guess it didn’t seem important at the time. I gave her a card and she listed her phone numbers, but I don’t think she put her last name on it. I stuck it in my wallet and didn’t notice.” His pulse raced, his hands grew clammy and sweat began to bead on his forehead.

He could see Beverly swallow hard. “Maybe you should take a look.”

“Just tell me.” Dread settled inside him, seeping into Seth’s pores, ready to spread the venom he knew the name he was about to hear would send through his veins. He clenched the fingers of his free hand into a fist and the muscles in his neck tightened into knots. “What is Caroline’s last name?”

“Prescott.” A chill ran through him to his core.

“And her father is…?”

She nodded without speaking, confirming his worst fears.

The mug in his hands dropped onto the hardwood floor, shattering it, sending shards in all directions. “I’m sorry,” he said automatically as he dropped to his knees. He started to pick up the pieces, being mindful of the sharp edges, going through the motions although his mind was numb. “Let me get this cleaned up before your guests come downstairs.”

Beverly came over to him and put one hand on his shoulder, squeezing. If she could have knelt beside him, he knew she would. “I’ll bring out the broom and dustpan. When you’re done, come in the kitchen for your breakfast.

“No thanks,” he muttered. “I’ve lost my appetite.”

Chapter 14

~~♥~~

Two Years Later—Evergreen, Maine

This was pointless. She wasn’t getting any work done. For the past hour she’d piddled around and lapsed into daydreaming. A Monday morning that found her reminiscing about a man she’d once thought might have a place in her life.

Perhaps not.

Caroline dropped her pen on her worktable, slid out of the chair, and stretched her arms in a high arc above her head. Might as well go brew a cup of tea. The early September afternoon was a bit chilly and overcast. Pulling her sweatshirt closer around her, Caroline checked the thermostat and then headed into the kitchen.

Sitting at the round, sturdy oak table in the kitchen of her Cape Cod-style home a few minutes later with a mug of freshly-brewed herbal tea, she pulled her Bible closer. Seth’s Bible. Quickly thumbing through the pages, she reached 2 Corinthians. Two years ago, she wouldn’t have known whether this book was in the first half of the Bible, or the last half, much less whether it was in the Old or the New Testament.

She found the fifth chapter and began reading in verse 17:
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
 
Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

“I am a new creature in Christ,” she said. “New things have come.” No kidding. How her life had changed since that weekend here in Evergreen. Could Seth somehow have known that, after reading a few verses of scripture here and there during her first year of law school, she’d find herself more intrigued than ever? That she’d been hungry for something but didn’t know what it was?

She’d immersed herself in God’s word and when she wasn’t studying, Caroline started attending a small weekly gathering of Christian students at a coffee house in Cambridge near the university campus. It was there that she met Ana—a beautiful young woman with glowing skin, an American born of Hindi parents—whose given name was Abhu, meaning
light
or
shining
. Strong in her Christian faith and a fellow law student, Ana began to mentor her and share how the Lord had worked in her life.

“My parents now deny my existence because of my faith in Christ,” Ana told Caroline. “I grieve the loss of having them in my life, but it’s my prayer that one day our relationship will be restored.” Her friend had listened with compassion as she’d poured out her heart, telling her about her parents and how she hated to disappoint them if she quit law school. With Ana’s mentoring, Caroline took the step of faith near the end of her first year of law school when she asked Jesus to live in her heart. Her sins had been washed clean by the blood of Jesus, and she
did
feel like a new creature.

And to think the pathway to that decision had started during her hike on that narrow, two lane road into Evergreen and continued while she’d luxuriated in the footed tub in Landon’s Bed & Breakfast, of all places. True to what she’d said, Beverly Landon sent her a Christmas card the first year. Caroline had sent the kindly B&B owner small notes via snail mail, telling her that she’d discovered the source of strength for herself and thanked Beverly for sharing about the Lord with her that morning when they’d talked in the kitchen. Thanked her for taking the time to care about her spiritual life. Her eternal destiny.

Although Beverly had returned her notes, she’d never mentioned Seth and Caroline hadn’t the heart to ask. She’d received one short letter from Seth—not much more than a sweet sentiment on a notecard, really—and then he’d sent her a bouquet of beautiful wildflowers on her birthday in early October accompanied by only a card that read,
Thinking of you on your 22
rd
birthday
. Not what she’d hoped, but he’d remembered. When she heard nothing further from him, she could only assume he’d moved on, perhaps even married his girlfriend. Under those circumstances, she couldn’t expect anything more.

Still, she wondered. Couldn’t he have written to let her know? He’d had her phone number and her email address. But…nothing. Had she imagined the strong bond she’d felt between them? Young and inexperienced, she must have been more naïve than she’d thought, and looking for something that wasn’t really there. And might never be there.

By the end of her first year of law school, she’d excelled as expected and her future in the Boston legal community appeared bright. But she wanted out. Telling her father she wasn’t returning was the hardest thing she’d ever done. Walking into Prescott Tate Burnesse, LLP one early June morning, Caroline smiled through her nerves. She’d opted not to clerk at the firm for the summer, a decision that had not gone over well, but it had been the first step to asserting her independence.

“Caroline!” Jayne said with genuine warmth, looking up from her work as she’d approached the desk of her father’s trusted secretary for over twenty years. “How lovely to see you. Are you having a nice summer?”

“It’s been fine, thanks.”
Everything’s going to change as soon as I walk into my father’s office.

“Your brother’s in with your dad. You can go on in if you’d like.” Jayne half-turned in her chair and nodded in the direction of the imposing door behind her desk. Never had that door loomed so large or so intimidating. That door she’d passed through hundreds of times since she was old enough to walk.

“No, thanks. I’ll wait until Sid’s done before I go in.” She didn’t want her oldest brother getting wind of what she was about to tell their father. Sidney would gloat and stare at her with his best
I told you so, Dad
expression. She was in no mood to deal with his perpetual condescension.

Although he’d joined the firm, Caroline suspected that Sidney’s desire for status in the community trumped any personal commitment to practicing law. On the plus side, loyalty and family honor seemed to mean something to him. He just wasn’t a very nice person. Super intelligent but stubborn, Sid wasn’t what she’d call giving or compassionate except how his generosity could gain him influence or favors. She’d always thought he was selling out.

That’s a real Christian attitude, right, Lord?
She’d definitely need to pray.

“Not Sidney. Bryce.”
Well, then, that’s different.
Bryce kept her sane. He’d be a good ally.

Bryce demonstrated a genuine love of the law, a sincere dedication to helping people, and an equally strong affinity for in-depth research and study. It was a matter of respect, really. Bryce would make a great lawyer because it was what he wanted in his heart. She’d been sharing her new faith with Bryce, and he’d been somewhat receptive but still teased her.

The gold nameplate on her father’s office door looked as shiny and spotless as ever. The eagle beside the nameplate as proud and majestic as ever with its wings spread. “Fly away!” she said under her breath. That’s what she intended to do.
Funny the things you notice when you’re headed to your doom
. She knocked on the door, barely loud enough to be heard, and then paused with her hand on the shiny brass doorknob, inhaling a deep breath. Knowing that when she came out of this office, her life as she’d known it would likely never been the same.

Opening the door, she slipped inside. “Hi, Dad.”

“Caroline. Come on in, Pumpkin.” Duncan looked up from behind his massive mahogany desk, his wire-rimmed glasses perched on the end of his nose. He gave her a nod before resuming his work. Hearing his endearment for her now wouldn’t make this any easier. Of her parents, Dad had been the more demonstrative and openly affectionate. Her mother had never even adopted a nickname for her.

Bryce sat in the black leather wing chair across from his dad, reading a brief. Swiveling in the chair, he gave her one of his trademark blinding smiles. If only Bryce knew how his smile encouraged her heart.

Duncan squared his shoulders and gave her a rare smile.
He looks tired. He should take some time off.
The lines on his face appeared a bit deeper now, more permanently etched. Still, Duncan Prescott looked distinguished as always—tall, lean and handsome—with a full head of silver-tinged dark hair.

Bryce rose to his feet and squared his necktie, preparing to depart the office. Walking over close to where she stood, he whispered, “Just tell him and then escape. I’ll see you at home later.”

She grabbed hold of his hand, needing her older brother’s support, never wanting him to leave. “Don’t leave me. Please.”

“You’ll be fine, Pumpkin. Remember, your happiness isn’t dependent upon pleasing him.”

“Right.” With a nod, Caroline swallowed hard and took a few slow steps farther into the imposing office. She’d always loved coming into her dad’s office as a child. That was before he’d discovered big game hunting when she was a teenager. Now the walls were filled with what she referred to as the “taxidermied heads” of deer and seemingly every magnificent animal he’d bested that didn’t happen to be an endangered species. Dad would probably have those mounted on the wall, too, if he didn’t have a continual parade of law enforcement officers and public officials in and out of the office.

Caroline shuddered when her gaze fell on the boa constrictor holding court in his glass case, poised in a ready-to-strike position. She understood why her father liked that snake since he’d often been nicknamed The Snake or The Shark—he had a large one of those mounted on the opposite wall, too—in his lengthy legal career. Still, she’d always found that snake creepy and had run screaming from his office the first time she’d seen it after he’d had his office redecorated with his massive menagerie.

Duncan motioned to the chair vacated by Bryce. “Sit down and visit with me. I hardly ever get to spend time with my favorite daughter anymore.”

Caroline allowed herself to smile. “I’m glad you can take the time to meet with me, Dad, especially since I didn’t call ahead.”

Removing his wire-rimmed glasses, he rubbed his tired eyes. “Is this an official meeting?” he asked, half-teasingly, leaning heavily against the back of his massive leather chair.

“I suppose it is. I need to tell you something. I’d like you to please hear me out before you say anything.” Filled with trepidation, Caroline’s nerves were shot. She slid her shaking hands beneath her to keep them still.

Duncan sat up straighter in the chair, a concerned expression crossing his face. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“Of course not!” She’d sunk further into the rich leather of the chair across from her father’s desk, shocked that he’d jump to such a far-fetched conclusion. “I don’t even
date
these days much less…anything else.”

“Well, then, what could it be?” Duncan leaned forward across his desk, his dark brown eyes, black as night, boring holes into hers. “Your whole life is wrapped up in your studies now, but that’s the way it should be.” He waved his hand in the air. “I thought perhaps you’d had a weekend fling. It wouldn’t be the first time a young girl found herself in trouble.” Sarcasm dripped from his words. He paused, looking at her long and hard again. “If you’re going to be an attorney, you need to learn to be bold. Just tell me straight out.”

“That’s just it. I’m
not
a bold person. At least I’m not in the way that you are. And Sidney. And Bryce, too.” Caroline looked down at her lap before meeting his eyes directly. “I’m quitting law school. I’m not going back in the fall.” Her voice was raspy as she struggled to control her breathing. Suddenly, her throat tightened and she coughed.

Duncan’s face reddened. Tight-lipped, he shook his head. “That’s not an option, Caroline.” His voice was deep, his tone firm and unyielding. She’d only heard that edge in his voice a few times in her life, and they weren’t times she cared to remember in any great detail. Nothing to do with her but something to do with his legal practice. He’d been displeased when one of his client’s airtight alibis had failed. Then he’d discovered one of his top partners had embezzled funds, sued him, watched him tried and then let go with not much more than a slap on the wrist. Seemed the jury wanted to “slap it to the rich man” as more than one journalist put it. That was the one time the justice system her father loved so much ever let him down. Then there was Sidney’s indiscretion with a girl. In retrospect, her father’s question did make some kind of sense, hurtful insinuation or not.

“I don’t want to hear such nonsense. The Prescotts in this family are lawyers.” Reaching for a file folder on his desk, Duncan opened it and started to read a memo. At least in her father’s mind, it was the end of their discussion. She’d been dismissed.

“Right. The Prescott
men
have always been lawyers. I’m no longer your little girl, your
Pumpkin
, under your rule and thumb.” Her voice softened. “I entered law school to make you happy. That wasn’t the only reason, but it was the primary one. You know how important you are to me.”

Caroline swallowed hard, fighting to contain her tears. “I want you to be proud of me, but you’ve also taught me to be independent and strong in my convictions. Don’t you see that if I become a lawyer, it would be for the wrong reasons? You and I both know I wouldn’t make a good lawyer under those circumstances. Most importantly, it wouldn’t be fair to you, to the firm, to me,
or
to the public we serve.”