Heartless (26 page)

“Or else what?” I say paddling forward. She’s nearly at the ladder now so I’ll have to act fast.

“Or…” She grips a rung of the ladder and narrows her eyes at me. “Or else I pull out the big guns.”

“Oooh, that sounds like a threat. I accept that challenge.”

I lunge toward her. She hugs her body to the ladder, squealing, as I try to pull her off it. She kicks her legs at me and I feel her toe graze my left nipple. For some odd reason it feels crazy-sexy. I let her go, let her catch her breath, and tread water for a few seconds. She settles and turns to me. “You want to play rough, hey.”

It looks like she’s about to climb up the ladder so I say, “Players have to remain
in
the pool.”

“Oh, I know how to play the game.”

Apparently she wasn’t on her way out, just up to one of the higher rungs. Her feet are on the second-from-the-top rung and she rises up and leaps out in an arc toward the shallow end. The jumping leap has given her a good head start and I power-stroke after her. Once I catch up she’s standing waist deep against the poolside with her arms spread out on either side of the pool edge. She is way too tempting like that. Ripe for the picking. I give her one last look and dive straight for her, straight for the orange triangle hugging her hips. But as my hands reach out to pull at the spandex, it’s suddenly not there. There’s a stir of motion over me and I realize too late that she’s dolphin-dived right over me. And either she’s twisted or somersaulted super fast because I now feel her fingers tugging hard at the hem of my trunks. Damn! The elastic slides down over the trail of hairs between my belly button and everything else. Then it snags on my raging hard on. Thank goodness. She lets go and we both come up for air.

“Truce,” I offer.

She shakes her head. “How ‘bout I win by default?”

I hesitate, not so much because I’m considering her words but rather I’m mesmerized by the aggressive look in her eyes, the sexy snarl of her lips. It looks like she’s going to dive again so I quickly hold up a hand and start waving.

“White flag, white flag. I surrender!”

She smiles with a sweet satisfaction. I want her to smile like that again later. But by then she’ll have her hair mussed and her cheeks flushed and her lips bruised and swollen and her satisfaction will have an ethereal satiated quality to it…

Heather

We returned to the room to shower and get ready for dinner. Josh suggested we shower together, but I knew exactly where that would lead, and it’s not that I didn’t want to go there, but we have plenty of time this weekend. For now, I wanted a little bit of time with myself, with my body. Things will change for me after this, and they’ll change for me and Josh, too. That part will be good. Our intimacy will deepen and expand and our love will grow. For me, though, taking this step with Josh was an act of trust in him and in myself, a symbol of really letting go of the past and moving on into a future I could be excited about.

I washed the chlorine out of my hair and gave it a good conditioning. Although I shaved before leaving home, I slid my soapy hands over my legs to see if any parts needed a touch up. The warm water, the steam, and my own hands roaming over my skin began to arouse me. It was a gentle feeling of softening, of melting into pleasure, of feeling safe and secure and knowing a long night and morning of love lay ahead. It was an exquisite and relaxing mode of pleasure I’d never experienced before. I had Josh all to myself this weekend. And boy was he
hot
. I could barely keep my hands off him in the pool. And when I tugged down his trunks I knew exactly why they wouldn’t slide off easily. I wanted to straddle him right then and there… Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow. I’ll suggest an after breakfast swim…

I toweled off, combed my hair, and wrapped myself up in one of the two fluffy towels hanging from a hook on the back of the door. When I stepped out, trailing a cloud of steam with me, Josh was on the other side of the door waiting for me. He’d removed his trunks and only had his pool towel wrapped around his waist. I caught my breath, he looked unbelievably sexy leaning against the wall with his hands behind his back, which made his hips thrust forward so that his very obvious boner was as prominent as a third limb.

“I couldn’t help thinking of everything you might be doing in there… touching yourself, stroking, lathering…” he said by way of explanation.

I giggled and gaped at his towel, imagining what lay on the other side of that terry cloth. Suddenly it seemed as if I’d forgotten to towel off between my legs, and now my mouth watered too. He pushed himself off the wall and opened his arms to me. I let him embrace me lightly, kissed him on the cheek, and then slipped from his grasp.

“Go shower,” I said, moving away from him toward the bedroom.

He moaned with frustration. Then I heard him sigh with resignation and the bathroom door closed.

Not only the shower but now Josh’s desire, and my reaction to it, had me all heated up. I felt a thin sheen of sweat on my chest and between my legs. I stepped out onto the patio and opened my towel just a bit to let in a cool breeze. The patio was surrounded by low hedges, for some privacy, but when standing I could see the sloping view down to the hazy blue ocean turning pink and purple as the sun fell toward the horizon. This spot was a tiny piece of heaven. Despite having given up the language and beliefs of religion, there was no better word for this place, and this moment in time; heavenly. I stood there, partially naked, an innocent Eve in her hillside garden. Josh had brought me here, to this place and to this feeling inside myself that was healing the moments of hell that had haunted me. I saw and felt the heavenly in everything now, thanks to him.

I returned to the room to put on my sundress. I was sure room service would be here any minute to lay out the dinner Josh had ordered. And I was hungry. Famished actually. Though I knew my appetite was for more than just food. And not only that, I knew this appetite was for everything life had to offer, and good food and sweet love would fill it for a while and then inspire it for more. But in a good way, not a desperate way, in a way that told me I was finally reengaged with life, and ready to fully
live.

I pulled out fresh panties and a lacy white bra. I noticed Josh’s small bag was still zipped up tight. What did he have in there? I was tempted to snoop. But I refrained. It wasn’t fair to mess with people’s birthday surprises.

I slipped my dress over my head and adjusted the straps. Then I stood in front of his bag again, my curiosity getting the better of me. I reached for it. I grabbed the handles and just lifted it. No harm in that. It was heavier than I thought it would be, and the weight didn’t seem evenly distributed. I heard the shower tap turn off. I put the bag down and walked over to the edge of the bed facing the open patio door. I caught the faintest whiff of jasmine. Josh came out of the bathroom and went straight for his bag. I glanced over my shoulder at him as he unzipped one compartment.

“Are you going to make me go back into the bathroom to dress?”

“No, you can dress where you like. I’m just not going to look.
Yet
.”

I turned back to the patio, breathing deeply to try to locate the jasmine scent as well as to stay disciplined from looking back over my shoulder. I nearly broke when I heard his damp towel hit the carpet. Such a distinctive, sexy sound. Perhaps it was silly, but, for me, not looking was a way of drawing out these delicious moments, a way to extend the surprises.

I guessed it was making Josh a little crazy that I was acting so modest. I wanted to assure him it wouldn’t last long, but it was also a very special night, not one to take for granted. There weren’t many first times in life.

Josh walked past me to hang up his towel on the back of a patio chair. He was wearing a clean white T-shirt and gray cargo shorts. His hair was sexy-messy from the shower and he smelled
so good
. I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

“Mmmmm….” I murmured burying my nose between his shoulder blades. Between his scent and the jasmine I was already a swooning mess. As he turned in my arms, ready to receive his first post-shower kiss, we both heard a knock at the door.

“Perfect timing,” said Josh, rolling his eyes.

I looked into his eyes. “It is. I’m starving.”

His eyes narrowed slightly with a sexy glare. “So am I, but not for food.” He nipped at my neck before heading to open the door.

I sat in one of the two chairs beside the already set table. Three pink peonies arced out of a silver jug one side. A candle in storm jar rose up between the two plates, silverware, and linen napkins. I now noticed other candles in storm jars set around the patio on the tiles, low tables, and garden rocks.

Two B & B employees, a man and a woman, walked in carrying trays with silver serving platters and lids. I could already smell herbs and lemon and mint. They set up their folding tables off to one side. The man retrieved the champagne and uncorked it. He poured us glasses of half liquid, half bubbles. The woman lifted the lid off one small platter and I saw the prettiest little cake decorated with rose petals and pansies. My eyes flashed to Josh and I smiled. He winked at me.

After the man poured the champagne, he set it back in the ice bucket and, pulling out a lighter from his pocket, he proceeded to light the candles around the patio. There were more than I thought, including a few on high ledges, and soon the patio was a magical candlelit paradise. The woman flicked a switch, and a strand of fairy lights made the bushes sparkle.

Josh handed the man something, a tip I presumed, and then he sat across from me. Together, the man and the woman set lidded trays in front of us. At the same time, they lifted the lids and then withdrew from the patio. The scents rising from my plate were divine. A white fish sprinkled with lemon and herbs—thyme and mint, I thought—graced one side of the plate. On the other, bright green spears of asparagus, dilled new potatoes, and a small ramekin of what looked like chopped strawberries. I looked up at Josh. I felt deliriously happy. He was holding his champagne glass up for a toast. His eyes glittered in the candlelight.

“Happy Birthday, Heather. I hope it’s the first of many we’ll celebrate together.”

I swear I blushed in that moment. And I thought I might cry. I was overwhelmed by everything I felt. I couldn’t think of anything to say except, “Thank you.” And then I added, whispering, “I hope so, too.”

We both sipped our champagne. Then we set our glasses down and
picked up our forks.

The fish was light and flakey.

"Mmmm... Lemony," said Josh.

I dipped my spoon in what looked like a dish of seasoned, sliced strawberries. Flavors exploded in my mouth.

"Taste this." I offered Josh my spoon and watched his lips slide around the oval. It reminded me of sharing my frozen yogurt with him, but this time, the lookin his eyes was even more daringly sexual.

He glanced away for a second, tasting and thinking. "I taste black pepper and balsamic vinegar, maybe a flavored one. Fig?"

"You tasted all that? I just thought it tasted
good
." I dribbled a few strawberries onto my fish.

Josh held out a spear of asparagus. "Open up."

He fed me the lenght of the spear, starting with the tip, inch by inch, until his fingers grazed my lips. I sucked the lemon juice from them.

"The best part," I murmured.

"But we haven't even had dessert yet."

He threw back a slug of champagne.

I slid my bare foot against Josh’s shin. “This is all so much, Josh. I can’t believe you did all this for me.”

“You may not believe in anything but the stars, but I hope you’ll make room in your heart to believe in how much I love you.”

I nearly gasped. He said
the words
. I covered my surprise with another sip of champagne. He said it so matter-of-factly, as if asking me to believe that the sun would rise tomorrow.

And then I said the stupidest thing in response.

“Why?”

His eyebrow quirked up. “You want a list?”

I fumbled with my napkin, aware now of having put my foot in my mouth, but realizing, too, that I really was wondering why. Technically, we still hardly knew each other. We hadn’t even
done it
yet.

“Why now? Why so soon?”

He looked off into the distance. The sky was now a dusky blue. Soon the rest of the world would fade into darkness and we’d be alone in our candlelit paradise.

“Sometimes you just know,” he said, breaking his short silence. “I felt an inkling of that knowing when I first saw you. And ever since, it’s just gotten stronger. And recently… Well, now I know for sure we’re meant to be together.” He looked down at his plate, pushed some food around, and then set his fork aside.

“I’m sorry if this all seems so serious. It’s not what I intended. But it is true, Heather. I love you. You don’t need to say anything back. I know you want to go slow. But I’m… I guess I’m a little impatient.”

He smiled apologetically. Then he seemed to have another thought. His eyes flitted to the bed beyond the patio doors. “But I’m not impatient in
certain
ways. Rest assured.” He leaned back in his chair and finished the champagne in his glass.

I had followed his gaze, and now my eyes rested on the white pillows, the soft duvet. “You always seem to be one step ahead of me, Josh.”

He reached across the table for my hand.

“For the rest of the night, I’ll let you lead.” His hand felt warm and soft. I closed my eyes, imagining that warm soft hand traveling over every inch of my skin.

“Do you want to dance?”

My eyes flashed opened. Josh stood up, waited for me to join him.

“There’s no music,” I said.

He started humming a tune as he drew me into his arms. We rocked back and forth in our bare feet. The tune seemed familiar. Then he started singing quietly.

“
Earth angel, earth angel, the one I adore
…”

It was an old song, and he had a beautiful voice, a little like his voice on the telephone, but more resonant. Pressed as I was to his chest, I felt the sound vibrating deep inside.