Heartbreak Trail (17 page)

Sometimes in the dark of night, when she was unable to sleep, she’d imagine it was Clint, her tender lover, who lay beside her, that she was thrilling to his touch, just like Sarah said, carried away on the wings of love. She wasn’t sure what that meant. She hadn’t learned from Jacob, but she had the feeling Clint could teach her.

She knew her secret thoughts were utterly foolish, yet she felt not one twinge of guilt. After a grueling day on the trail, her fantasies of Clint Palance gave her most of the happy moments she could find amidst the toil and heartbreak of her harsh new world.

On a day when heavy showers prevented the wagons from moving, Lucy stayed inside her tent, doing her best to keep Noah and his little friend Jamie entertained. In the late afternoon, she took the boys to the Helmick wagon, then went for a walk to get much-needed fresh air. The rain had stopped for the moment, replaced by a muggy stillness that hung like an oppressive mantle over the camp. There wasn’t one person in sight. Everyone must be hunkered down in their tents and wagons, which was most unusual, but how very nice. Privacy was a rare luxury these days, so she welcomed the idea she could actually go for a walk and be all by herself. She strolled out of the camp, through a grove of trees to the river, swollen from all the rain. Finding a log that extended into the water, she sat down, stripped off her boots and stockings, and dabbled her feet, enjoying the feel of cool water running across her toes. For a while, she took in the glorious view across the river, where a herd of deer had ambled down to the edge for their evening drink.

Finally, in the gathering darkness, she stepped to the shore. When she bent to retrieve her stockings, she felt a burst of sharp pain in the sole of her right foot. “Oh, oh, oh!” she cried and began hopping about. Something had bit her, or stung her, she wasn’t sure which. She looked down in time to see a horrible looking creature scurrying under the log. It had crab-like front claws and a long body with a high arched tail that curved around. She had never seen anything like it.

Tears welling in her eyes as she stood on one foot waiting for the excruciating pain to subside, clenching her teeth to keep from crying out again. At last, when the pain had lessened slightly, she knew she needed help. What should she do? Stay and wait? Surely, sooner or later, someone would come along. What if she didn’t have that much time? What if the creature was poisonous? She could be dead in an hour if she didn’t get help right away.

She had to get back to the campsite. Had to get to Inez Helmick. With all those herbs and potions, surely she’d know what to do. Wincing with pain, she picked up her boots and stockings and began hobbling back, stepping on her left foot, gingerly balancing herself with the heel of her right.

When she reached the campsite, she found only one person in sight—Clint, standing by his wagon. He saw her at once, painfully limping along, and immediately went to her side. “What happened?”

“
Oh, Clint!” She was so relieved to see him. “I stepped on this ... this awful thing, and it bit me. It hurts! What if it’s poisonous? Do I need to see Inez?”

“
What did it look like?” When she described it, he looked relieved. “You got stung by a scorpion. There are a lot of them around these parts. Let’s have a look.” He swept her in his arms, carried her to his wagon, and set her down on the yoke. “Hold out your foot.”

Grimacing, she extended her foot. “It feels like I got stuck with a red hot needle. Is it poisonous?”

Clint bent over, clasped her foot gently, and raised it enough so he could see the bottom. “A little, but you’ll survive.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “It should feel better in a few minutes. It’s slightly swollen but shouldn’t get any worse. A cold compress helps. I’ll get one.”

Clint disappeared inside his wagon. Just as he returned, the heavens opened and a deluge of rain began to fall. “Quick,” let’s get you inside.”

Despite the rain, and the dreadful burning pain in her foot, she took a cautious look around the campsite. Still not a soul in sight. She couldn’t even feel the prying eyes of Agnes upon her.

Clint regarded her with a mocking gleam in his eye. “Still worried about what people might say?”

Why had she been thinking such nonsense? “Absolutely not. Help me inside.”

He helped her into his wagon and had her sit on a bed that wasn’t much more than a mattress on the wagon floor. “A sting from a scorpion is pretty much like a bee sting. Hurts like hell, but you’re not going to die.”

“
I didn’t think so.” She was inwardly relieved. She watched Clint dip a cloth in cold water, then carefully wrap it around her foot. Instantly the burning eased. “That feels better. I’d wager this isn’t your first scorpion sting.”

“
Scorpions ... spiders ... snakes ... you learn a lot when you live in the wilderness.” He finished applying the compress, sat back on his haunches, and regarded her with concern. “Is that better?”

“
Oh, much.” It was. No need for Inez Helmick. She might have known Clint could help her.

“
So, how are you?”

“
Fine.”

“
You’ve just lost your husband and your baby. Don’t tell me fine.”

Clint’s blunt response reached the constant torment in her heart. Since the day her husband and son were buried, she’d mostly grieved to herself. How could she expect sympathy when everyone she knew was simply struggling to survive? “There is nothing worse in this world than losing a child.” Her voice quavered.

“
I can only imagine what you’ve been through. You’ve been very brave.”

His deep understanding nearly brought her to tears. She swallowed hard. “Thank you for that. It hasn’t been easy.”

“
Actually, for a city girl, I think you’re doing pretty well.”

She smiled. “Thank you for that, too.” His remark not only jerked her out of her gloomy mood, it caused a warm flood of feeling to course through her. So nice to hear praise for a change. She certainly got none from Abner. “I’m not like Mister Benton and his manifest destiny. I mean, I’m not out to expand The United States or any such thing. I just want to get where I’m going and find a place for Noah and me.” She laughed. “And then die in bed of old age, not from having my scalp removed by an Indian.”

He nodded agreeably. “I admire all you women. To endure what you do every day takes great courage.”

“
This may surprise you, but in some ways this journey isn’t as hard as I thought.”

“
It’s not? In what way?”

She paused to put her thoughts together. “Sometimes when we’re riding along and I see the beauty of the mountains we pass, and the rivers and forests, I realize these are all things I would never have seen had I stayed in Massachusetts. I wouldn’t have even known they were there.”

For a long time he didn’t speak. “West to catch the sunset,” he said in an odd yet gentle tone. “You see that now.”

“
Oh, yes.” She looked around his wagon, crowded but neat. “I’ve never been in here before.”

“
Well, I wonder why.” There was a trace of laughter.

“
Umm, you’re right. Now it’s different. I’m not a married woman anymore.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You might as well be.”

She didn’t want to think about Abner right now. She sighed and searched for a change of subject. “Where’s Charlie?”

“
Gone to try and find a trapper friend of his. I don’t expect him back until tomorrow.”

We’re alone
. “Oh really?” She tried to sound casual.

He shot her a gaze that swept over her, soft as a caress. “Really.”

The look he gave her made her forget the pain from the scorpion’s sting. She grew acutely aware of her surroundings. Only a thin layer of canvas separated her from the world outside, yet she felt snug and warm, sitting on the bed in Clint’s wagon, listening to the soothing patter of the rain. “We’ve never been alone like this.”

He sank down beside her. “No, we haven’t.” He lifted a hand and touched her hair. No sunbonnet today. She wore it loose, streaming down her back. “I’ve wanted to be alone with you since Independence.” He thought a moment. “No, since Boston, when you were such a little snob.”

She began to laugh. “And said I would never set foot outside Suffolk County.”

He joined her laughter. When it stopped, he regarded her a moment, then his breath caught and his arms went around her. Almost of their volition, her hands slid around to the back of his buckskin coat. He pulled her close. She pressed her fingers into the broad shoulders she’d admired from afar for so long. Their lips crushed together in a kiss so long overdue that she felt him tremble and knew she was trembling, too. She returned his kiss with reckless abandon, her mind spinning in several directions at once. How wonderful to be in his arms. How incredible. She could hardly believe her impossible dream had finally come true.

When they finally broke apart, he looked into her eyes, his face only inches from hers. “I don’t want this to end.”

She understood his meaning. He was giving her a chance to say no. For a clearheaded moment she faced the fact that although the campsite was temporarily deserted, chances of discovery were still high. Like him, she didn’t want to stop. How could she when a crazy jumble of feelings were pouring through her? None had to do with caution. They were all about excitement, yearning, and her burning desire. “Neither do I.”

He gripped her wrists, lowered her all the way to the bed, and lay beside her. He began kissing her again, and she eagerly responded. Somewhere, during a frenzy of kisses, they undressed each other: first her dress went, then his coat, pants, and boots, finally her bloomers which, in a heavy-breathing moment for both of them, he slid slowly down her hips, over her silky mound, continued down over her legs, then clear off. She knew not where he tossed them, or cared.

“
You’re beautiful.” He looked down on her, his eyes brimming with admiration.

She lay naked beneath him, basking in the warmth of his gaze, experiencing a wanton delight that every inch of her was exposed to his gaze. With his swelling manhood pressed hard against her hip, he began to swirl gentle fingers around her pink nipples, watched as they hardened, then with the lightest of touches, teased them harder still. The gentle massage sent currents of desire running through her, and when he whispered, “You have beautiful breasts. I’ve been wanting to kiss them,” her whole body throbbed. When he lowered his head and sucked her nipples, running his rough tongue over each in turn, her body arched, and the pleasure of it made her bite her lip to keep from crying out.

“
Oh, that was good,” she gasped, “very, very good.”

“
He took her hand and guided it to his manhood. “Hold on to this while I do some things to you.”

Heart pounding with excitement, she clasped the most intimate part of Clint Palance, marveling at how thick it was, how long, and how very, very hard. Next, just like he said, he began doing things to her, incredibly exciting things like running his thumb deliciously over her palm, nibbling at her ear, moving his hands magically here and there over her body. Often he returned to her breasts, where his hands roamed intimately, and he nibbled, sucked, and kissed until she thought the exquisite feeling would drive her mad.

She now experienced such ecstasy that she moaned, frantically eager for his next touch. When at last he slipped his hand between her legs, the sweet sensation of his fingers touching the most intimate part of herself was so intense ... “Oh, I can’t bear it. I need you inside me. Now! I shall die if you don’t.”

“
Happy to oblige.” His voice was thick with passion. He reached to spread her legs apart, and she eagerly slid them open. Slowly he guided his shaft inside her, causing her to emit little groans of pleasure each time he moved. By now she’d abandoned all logical thought, her mind nothing more than a mass of delicious sensations, all centered on that pleasure spot where they were joined. At last, when he was all the way in, he paused and looked into her eyes. “Feel good?”

“
Oh, yes, I’m in heaven. Don’t stop!”

“
I won’t, not until you’re pleasured.”

“
Oh, I’m pleasured all right,” she managed to gasp through her rapturous haze. “Do keep on.”

He began a series of rhythmic strokes, each one driving her to a higher arousal. In return, her hips rose and fell in a natural rhythm that matched his own. His own passion turned wild and hard until finally he stopped. “Are you almost there?”

“
Yes!”

He drove in hard, pushing her over the brink into a sensation so fantastic, so incredibly wonderful she was forced to press her lips together, muffling her screams of ecstasy against his shoulder.

At the same time, he, too, experienced an explosive pleasure and soon lay spent and panting beside her.

While the rain pattered on the canvas above, they lay for she didn’t know how long, wrapped in each other’s arms, their beating hearts slowly returning to normal. Finally, voices in the distance brought her back to the real world. She sat up. “I’d better go.”

“
Yes, you had.” He immediately arose and pulled on his clothes. “I’ll be outside. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Alone in the wagon, she washed herself as best she could and pulled on her clothes, all but her right shoe. Her foot still throbbed from the scorpion sting. Funny, but when she was making love with Clint, she’d entirely forgotten. When she was ready, she called softly, “Is it clear?”