Heart of the Nebula (39 page)

“
James and I used to be
friends, but we have very different visions about the shape our
society should take. He wants to protect the people at all costs,
but I feel that if we put our security ahead of our freedoms, then
we’ll lose both.”

“
But you’re still friends,
right?”

Lars bit his lip. “I honestly don’t
know.”

Looking at his face, Kyla knew that if he
didn’t say goodbye, he would regret it the rest of his life. She
put a hand on his arm.

“
Well, now’s your last
chance to find out. Come on, I’ll go with you.”

It took a little more prodding, but with
some reluctance, Lars agreed. Together, they walked together around
the bend to the far side of the room. James and Sara stood off a
ways from the main crowd, next to an old imitation-wood table with
an empty plastic vase set on top.

If this were the
Freedom Star, Kyla thought to herself,
the vase would be full of flowers, and a couple
of couches or a potted plant would be next to the table.
The thought made her think of how she’d first met
James as a stowaway. It was amazing how much had changed since
then.

Lars stepped forward, his footsteps
hesitant. For a moment, the two friends only stared at each
other.

“
Lars,” said James,
breaking the awkward silence. “I didn’t think you’d
come.”

“
I know,” said Lars, his
voice quavering. “Last time we met, I said some things that… well,
let’s just say that it was a poor way to say goodbye.”

“
I understand,” said James.
“Thanks for seeing me off.”

They came together and embraced like
brothers, warming Kyla’s heart. Neither of them spoke, but that was
all right. Nothing further needed to be said.

“
I’m glad to see you too,
Kyla,” James said, turning to her. “Take care of my parents—and
this guy too, of course.”

Lars chuckled. “Always looking out for your
friends, eh?”

“
You know how it is. We all
need to look out for each other.”

“
I see you’ve got someone
to look out for you,” said Lars, nodding at Sara. “You’re a very
lucky man.”

James reached out and clasped Sara’s hand.
“I know.”

“
Well, we’d better let you
go,” said Lars. “Take care.”

“
You too,” said James. “And
try not to screw things up too badly for us. I don’t want to wake
up in ten thousand years and find this place a floating
derelict.”

Lars chuckled and took Kyla gently by the
arm, leading her away toward the elevator.

“
Thank you,” he told her as
the doors slid shut. “I needed that.”

To her surprise, she saw that he was
shaking. She reached out and held his hands until they were still.
As she looked into his eyes, she saw reflected in them the same
light she’d seen in James’s.

* * * * *

James’s heartbeat quickened as he stripped
off his clothes and put on the simple patient’s gown laid out
before him. The last few hours had been an emotional roller
coaster, but all of his goodbyes had been said. There was nothing
left to do except lay himself down in the cryotank.

He stepped out of the men’s dressing room
and into the long hall of the cryo chamber. The ceiling rose nearly
ten meters over his head, while the honeycombed latticework of
storage slots along the walls made the place feel like a mausoleum.
Two elderly nurses, both women, attended a cryotank in the last
phases of the freezing process. It sat at a forty five degree angle
in a special machine with dozens of pipes and cables attached. The
large glass window of the control room loomed behind him, engineers
and technicians watching from behind the glass. Two open cryotanks
sat in the center of the room, the green lights on their control
panels indicating that they were ready for use.

“
James?”

He turned around to see Sara step out from
the women’s dressing room. The short gown fit loosely over her
body, the hem ending midway down her thighs. The expression on her
face was one of intense fear, the same as the night before.

“
Sara,” he said, greeting
her with a hug. They kissed, and she held onto him for a moment
after he let go.

“
Have you written the
contingency letter?”

“
Of course,” James lied,
inwardly cursing himself for forgetting. “I’m just not sure who I
need to leave it with.”

“
There’s a little
compartment at the base of each cryotank for small personal items,”
she said. “That’s where the original goes, after you’ve made a copy
for the main records.”

James nodded, but said nothing more for fear
of incriminating himself.

“
I spent the whole last
hour writing mine,” she continued, speaking quickly. “I hope—well,
I hope you’re right and we’ll just laugh about them, but in case I
don’t make it—”

“
I’m sure everything will
be all right,” he said, putting his hand on her arm to calm her.
She took a deep breath and leaned against his chest, as if seeking
comfort. The gesture was so unlike her that he wasn’t sure how to
respond. He felt a sudden yearning to protect her, to make sure no
harm ever came to her. As she clung to him, he gently stroked her
back and shoulders until her breath became more even.

“
James,” she said, “this
may sound strange, but when I go under, I want you to stand next to
me so that I can see you through the glass. Can you do
that?”

“
Of course.”

“
I want the last thing I
see to be you,” she continued, her eyes full of fear. “It will be
easier, knowing that you’re there.”

James laughed, hoping to set her at ease.
“There’s nothing to worry about, Sara. Nothing at all. Before you
know it, we’ll both be awake and in each other’s arms.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder and
clung to him with her shaking hands.

“
I hope so.”

“
It’s time,” said the head
nurse. “Are you ready?”

“
Just a second,” said
James. He kissed Sara, but she was too tense to respond. With each
passing second, her anxiety seemed to be getting worse.

“
It’s going to be okay,” he
whispered softly, leading her to the tank. “Everything will be
fine. In just a few moments, we’ll be together again.”

The nurses directed Sara to the open
cryotank, where she slipped out of her gown. It fell softly to the
floor at her feet, leaving her shamelessly naked. As he watched her
climb in, James thought she looked like an angel, or perhaps a
goddess. A fragile innocence shined in her eyes, filling him with a
deep longing to touch her, to hold her, to be with her forever.

She turned and settled in as the nurses
slowly closed the glass front. He stepped up to the side of the
tank, placing one hand on the glass to let her know he was there.
She responded by lifting her own hand, pressing it up so that they
appeared to touch through the glass. He hoped she found it
reassuring.

“
Starting the chemical
bath,” the first nurse said. “Stand by.”

A greenish gas filled the inside of the
small cryotank, making Sara cough. As the chemicals enveloped her
body and began soaking into her skin, she kept her hand pressed
firmly against the glass.

I love you,
she mouthed at James.

“
I love you too,
Sara.”

The chemical bath lasted nearly five
minutes. When it was over, the glass started to grow cold. Sara
began to shiver, and goosebumps pricked all across her skin. Her
lips and fingernails turned blue, and her eyes widened as her
breath grew short.

“
Prepare for rapid
freezing,” said the head nurse. “Apply sedative.”

A new gas sprayed into the chamber, this one
white. Sara’s back arched, and she opened her mouth as if gasping
for breath, then her eyes closed and her whole body relaxed. Her
fingers stuck to the glass for a couple of moments, but her hand
soon fell away by her shoulder, so that it looked as if she were
waving goodbye.

Goodbye, Sara,
James thought silently.
See you in a hundred years.

“
Do either of you have a
pen or paper?” he asked the nurses. “I need to write a
letter.”

The head nurse looked at each other for a
moment before reaching into her pocket and handing him a pen and
writing pad. “Who do you want to deliver this to?” she asked.

“
Store it in my locker,”
said James. “This letter is for Sara, in case I don’t wake
up.”

The other nurse frowned in disapproval,
having overheard their last conversation. James didn’t care—it
wasn’t like he’d be seeing either of the nurses again anyway. While
they waited, he jotted down a quick note.

Dear Sara,

You know that I love you. We’ve only been
seeing each other for a few short weeks, but it feels like half a
lifetime. If you’re reading this after I’m gone, know that I only
want you to be happy. Don’t let my death keep you from finding
someone else to replace me.

I love you, Sara, in death and in life.

James McCoy.

“
That was simple enough,”
he muttered to himself. He tore out the letter and went to slip it
in his pocket, but realized there were no pockets in his gown.
Instead, he held it in hand until the nurse took it and placed it
in the compartment.

As he slipped out of his gown and climbed
into the cryotank, thoughts of Sara filled his mind. He was still
thinking about her as the sedative bath washed over him.

Part IV: The Legend

Chapter 20

Deirdre Johansen glanced up at the wall
clock as she ran across the single women’s apartment level. It
read: S1-0832 S2-1632 S3-0032. She was running late.

“
Hey there, Deirdre,” her
friend Kat called out to her as they passed in the hall.

“
Sorry, can’t stop!”
Deirdre called back. A few other girls from the third shift
wandered out of the communal bathrooms in pajamas and bath towels,
but fortunately no one got in her way.

She reached the central ladder chute and
peered down to make sure it was clear—thankfully, it was. Without
hesitating, she grabbed the outer edge of the ladder and slid down
at breakneck speed.

“
Coming do-o-own!” she
yelled. A few disgruntled insomniacs shouted back at her, but she
sped past them before they could get her into trouble.

Her hair whipped around her ears and eyes as
she was caught up in the exhilarating sensation of falling. Of
course, she had to be careful not to fall too fast, otherwise the
safety nets would deploy and catch her. When she reached the base
of the chute nine levels down, she jumped off and hit the floor
running. The wall clocks read 0837 hours.

Unlike the single women’s level, this one
was crowded. She navigated through it as quickly as she could
manage, avoiding the temptation to elbow her way through.
Thankfully, when she got to the ladder, she found it empty enough
to slide down.

“
Coming do-o-own!” she
yelled again. The blue rungs marking the exit zone of each level
flashed past her: LEVEL 56, LEVEL 55, LEVEL 54.

Once again, she jumped off at the base,
landing hard. Her hands were burning this time. She lifted them to
her face and blew on them as she ran to the next chute: 0842
hours.

“
Ow!” she said, slamming
into a man who stood in her way. The impact nearly knocked her
over. She looked up in annoyance—

—
and her eyes grew as wide
as ventilation ducts.

“
Captain
Carlson!”

“
Miss Johansen,” said the
captain, giving her a curt nod.

“
Sir, I—”

He silenced her with a sharp glance.
“Running a little bit late for the cryothawing, are we?”

Deirdre frowned.
This doesn’t make sense,
she thought to herself.
He’s supposed
to be there, too.

“
Yes,” she admitted,
figuring it was the safest thing to say.

“
And how many people have
you murdered in your haste to get there?”

She blushed. “Sorry.”

“
It’s not your lateness
that concerns me, it’s your disregard for basic safety. Now, come
on. Let’s get moving before we’re any later than we have to
be.”

A smile spread across her face as she
followed him down the next ladder. For one of the authorities, he
wasn’t so bad. She remembered playing hide-and-seek with him across
the ship when they were younger. He’d changed since then, but not
by much.

He took the ladder two rungs at a time, his
muscular arms and shoulders straining with the effort. Deirdre soon
got left behind.

“
Hey!” she scowled, knowing
he was only doing it to make her look bad. “You want me to start
sliding to catch up?”

“
If you do, I have a
special work assignment for you.”

“
Starclouds!”

He chuckled as they raced each other down
the ladder. By the time they reached the cryogenics chamber, the
clock read S1-0855 S2-1655 S3-0055. If Carlson wasn’t running late
himself, she would have never made it in time. As she slipped into
the dressing room, she silently blessed the stars for the
fortuitous way things had worked out.

Of course, the other attendants didn’t see
it that way.