Heart Matters (23 page)

The light directed away from her face to her
neck and she could make out the tall figure of a man. “Sean?” she
called out, squinting in the darkness.

“Let me guess,” a familiar voice drawled
sounding thoroughly amused, “You’re a flamingo and new at it.”

Jessica almost lost her balance in shock. It
couldn’t be him! “Steven?! What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question but now
is not the time.” He came towards her, a dark silhouette against
the black night. His arms came up around her narrow waist pulling
her to him. “What kind of a fool are you swimming in a storm?” he
demanded harshly.

His proximity made her shiver and she felt
him draw her closer in response. “I..I was just taking a walk.
I..didn’t notice…”

“Tell me later, we have to get back to the
villa, now,” he returned impatiently almost pulling her with him as
he made to stride away. Her whimper stopped him in his tracks and
he spun around. “What’s the matter?”

She was glad his voice was edged with
concern. “I’ve hurt my foot on the rocks.”

He cursed loudly scaring her. “You little
fool!” was all he said before he swept her off her feet and into
his arms. “You my dear are making a habit of this.” She giggled
helplessly, putting her arms around his neck to keep from falling.
“What? Don’t you thank me for saving your life?” he continued,
making his way towards the villa.

Although she couldn’t see him too clearly in
the dark, she caught the flash of his white teeth as he grinned.
“You’re exaggerating!” she laughed.

“Oh, yeah?
You
try carrying
me
!”

She laughed helplessly. “Am I that
heavy?”

“You consider yourself such a dead weight,
do you?”

“I only…”

“You only, ha! You weigh about as much as a
rag doll. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You’re so thin!”
She felt him trying hard not to laugh.

“Well, be glad, Steven, or you would have a
hard time carrying me.”

“I could try taking you piggy back…”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Wouldn’t I?” he shot back just as large
drops of rain began pelting them. “Here we go!”

They were almost near the villa and he
hastened to get to the shelter it offered. They met Keon, when they
reached the villa. “Tell us when dinner is ready,” Steven asked,
before carrying Jessica up to the master bedroom where he set her
down on the edge of the bed. She was dripping as he was and
insisted on sitting on one of the cane chair. He rummaged through
the cabinet in the bathroom and came out with a first aid kit.

Going down on one knee before her, he
reached for her foot. “Now let’s have a look at that injury.”

Jessica’s mouth went dry. A similar vision
of him down on his knee at Niki’s masquerade party sent a surge of
warmth over her cold skin. That evening he had kissed her for the
first time reducing her bones into mindless jello. Yea, Steven’s
kisses did that to her without much effort. If only she could be
bold enough to reach out and kiss him. Would he kiss her back? Her
breath hitched at the thought making her almost moan out aloud.

Steven didn’t look up at her as he set the
first aid kit next to her feet. Cold drops of water dripped from
the edge of his dark golden, tousled hair onto her exposed legs
making her quiver unintentionally. He was dressed informally in
beige cotton jeans and a black tennis shirt. His bronze, muscular
arms glistened, revealing the fine, hair that was plastered over
them. The sight was too much for her to bear. All she wanted was to
pull him up on her and beg him to make wild love to her! Her breath
constricted maddeningly and her heart began to beat an
uncontrollable tattoo. She had to think of something else, so she
said, “How…did you know I was out there?”

“I came in just as you left for the beach
and waited for you to get back. When I saw the storm, I knew I had
to go get you,” he replied simply without bothering to look at her.
He cleaned her wound and bandaged it deftly. He finally looked at
her when he had finished and grinned. “That’s much better. It’s a
nasty gnash. We’ll have a doctor look at it tomorrow.”

The wide, stormy eyes were tense, reflecting
the uncertainty in her mind. It hit Steven like a bolt of lightning
and he suddenly had no idea why he had chased her all the way here.
Had he expected her to rush into his arms and beg his forgiveness?
Or had he wanted to sweep her in his arms and make passionate love
to her, forgetting all that had happened between them? That was
partially true. He was here to clear all misgivings between them
and start afresh. But what could he tell her? I want you
desperately, Jessica, please make love with me?

Damn! he swore under his breath, standing up
abruptly to head for the closet. “Better get out of those clothes
before you catch pneumonia,” he said tightly, keeping his back to
her. He pulled off his shirt with one jerk and Jessica felt her
breath leave her at the sight of his magnificent torso. Taut,
tanned skin stretched over well-toned muscles that rippled as he
dropped the shirt carelessly on the floor and grabbed a towel. He
used it to rub his wet head vigorously. “Do you want me to get your
clothes for you?” he asked, without so much as looking at her. When
she didn’t answer, he turned to face her.

Jessica had stood up leaning heavily against
the chair and was still staring at him, her eyes wide with
anticipation. Steven felt a hot, urgent craving rush through his
loins with a force that shocked him. He watched the tender parted
lips trembling faintly, the rise and fall of her soft, swollen
breasts above the brief bikini top. He saw drops of water sliding
down her silky skin to disappear into her attractive navel. He took
in the curve of her hips underneath the sarong that clung to them
and exposed a fragile, white leg through its side and he felt wild,
scorching desire stir in the deepest depths of his soul.

Jessica saw the desire in his eyes and
licked her trembling lower lip nervously. “Steven?” When he gave
her no answer, she breathed deeply, trying to muster all the
courage she could. She limped to him painfully and when she reached
him, she placed her palm on his cool, smooth chest. The hair there
was still damp making her tremble with an unknown emotion. She felt
him quiver and boldly slid her palms over his taut male
nipples.

His arms came up in reflex, his fingers
entwining in her hair to tug her back. “What are you doing,
Jessica?” he demanded hoarsely.

She gazed into his blue depths. “What does
it look like?”

“I don’t want to play games!” he warned his
eyes intense with carefully controlled emotions.

The cloudy eyes were deep and sincere. “I’m
not playing games, Steven. I..want to make love with you.”

“How convenient,” he drawled sardonically,
letting her go and cupping her chin to tilt her head towards him.
“The lady gets to decide when she
wants
something.”

He failed to see the hurt in her eyes.
“That’s not true, Steven, I
don’t
get to decide anything at
all. Don’t you see? Here I am throwing myself at you and you don’t
even
want
me! Now does that look like I’m the decision
maker?”

The blue eyes held her moist ones for a long
time. He knew they couldn’t run from each other for long. He
grasped her shoulders and drew her close. “Jessica, I can’t stand
being away from you any longer. Why don’t we just start our lives
with a new beginning?”

She seemed relieved but held herself back.
“I’d love that Steven, believe me but you have to know why
I..I..pushed you away the last time.”

His face clouded. “I don’t want any
explanations, Jessica. There was no last time between us.”

“But…”

“I said I don’t want to know!” he exploded,
setting her away as the hurt she had caused his ego resurfaced with
a vengeance. Damn her! Was she still moony over Warring?

Jessica sighed, feeling exasperated. Bright
tears formed in her eyes. “Oh, what’s the use? You are so egoistic
you don’t even know when a woman is ready! You will probably not
believe this Steven Hart but you have been haunting me since the
night I saw you in that restaurant with Niki. And when you kissed
me that night at the party, I was lost! I got over Adam a long time
ago but you don’t want to believe me! I…,” she paused indecisively,
stepping back to put some distance between them and trying to hide
her distress.

“You will probably not believe this Steven
but I..I’m afraid! I’m afraid of every man that touches me.” An
errant tear dashed down her cheek and she brushed it away angry
with herself for showing her weakness. She stared at him furiously,
failing to see the shock on his face. “I’ve had enough! I need to
know where our marriage stands, Steven, please tell me.” Her voice
wavered on the last words and she put a hand against her mouth to
suppress a sob.

A storm raged inside Steven as he stood
staring at her. He had not heard anything beyond her words that
told him she was afraid of men. His closed the distance between
them to draw her in his arms even as she sobbed. “Who was it,
darling? Who touched you without your consent? Was it that bastard
Warring? Tell me! Did he do something to you against your
wishes?”

Her head shook miserably, her wet hair
dampening his bare chest. “It wasn’t Adam. In fact, I couldn’t even
let him touch me.” She looked up at him tearfully. “It happened
when I was in college. I was r..raped at a party. He drugged me and
raped me in the worst ways imaginable. He even took pictures of me
so I couldn’t tell anyone. I have lived with that horror for all
these years. I can’t, I just can’t let any man touch me!” She
dissolved in a bout of loud sobs.

Steven went rigid, anger welling inside him.
“The bastard! I’m sorry, Jessica, I didn’t know.” He held her in
his embrace and kissed the top of her head gently.

“Nobody did, not even Jeff,” she replied
honestly. “I couldn’t face anyone after that awful day.” She
sniffed miserably. “There’s more, Steven. I need to tell it all to
you. After Jake did those horrible things to me, Ty found me
outside my apartment.” Her expression softened at the mention of
Mark. “I was unconscious and battered. He was, no,
is
my
best friend; he was my bodyguard then. He helped me that night
Steven.” Her haunted eyes found his blue gaze. “I asked him to help
me and he did. I loved him so much but we could never be together
and I made him promise to leave me after that one time.” Fresh
tears began rolling down and she dropped her eyes. “After that, I
just ran; I ran away from all those memories; I ran away to remain
sane.”

Steven cupped her chin to peer into her
eyes. “You were too young to go through it alone, Jessica. You
should have told Jeff, he could’ve helped.”

She shook her head tearfully. “No, I
couldn’t. I didn’t want him hating me. I hated myself for a long
time after that day. I felt dirty…” Her voice trailed off and he
took her back in his arms, rubbing her back absently.

“You need to let it go, Jessica. Men aren’t
always brutal and making love isn’t so bad.” He braced her away
from him and traced her lip with his finger. “When we get back
home, promise me you will get some professional help?”

Jessica nodded shakily. “So am I
forgiven?”

He drew her in his arms and cupped her face
in his palms. “My darling, you did nothing wrong. I should ask for
forgiveness. I’ve mistreated you.” His eyes were earnest as they
asked her an unspoken question. “Jessica, can we just start all
over again?” She gave her answer by parting her lips and moving
towards him.

Steven felt his restraint break as he
claimed her mouth in a long, hungry kiss. His arms crushed her slim
form and she reached up to entangle her fingers in his damp hair.
He ravaged her mouth as though he could not have enough of her and
she answered boldly giving in to sweet desire. Years of pent up
emotions rose to the surface and Jessica felt consumed and
powerless to hold herself back. She spread her palms over the taut
muscles of his chest and arched boldly towards him. His mouth left
hers and he nipped tenderly on her neck. She gasped as an arrow of
desire all but propelled her towards a bottomless precipice.

She felt his hands on the knot that held up
her bikini top and when it came loose, she shuddered with
anticipation. When he removed the irritating piece of cloth, she
rose towards him. The bare skins collided causing her to almost
faint with the incredible rush of yearning that flew threw her. He
bent his head to lock his lips on her taut nipple and she bit into
his shoulder in response.

“Oh, Jessica,” Steven whispered hoarsely,
“You drive me wild!” He swept her in his arms and carried her to
the bed where he laid her gently. In the dim light of the table
lamp, he sat next to her and gazed at her for a long time. The
swollen mounds of her naked breasts rose and fell with her heavy
breathing. He watched with fascinated eyes the pink nipples that
rose rigidly, beckoning desperately. He reached out to them to
trace a feather light trail over them before reaching for the
sarong at her waist. Her mouth went dry and he again asked her
permission silently. She nodded, closing her eyes as he untied the
sarong slowly to draw it aside. His fingers lingered at the bikini
bottom and when he pulled it aside, Jessica tensed unintentionally.
His eyes flew to her anxious face and he lay down next to her.

“Don’t be afraid, darling, I won’t hurt
you.” He kissed her so lingeringly that she felt her unease melt
away. He shifted, pinning her pliant form with his hard weight. Her
eager fingers explored the firm smoothness of his chest and the
flatness of his stomach before tugging at the snug jeans at his
waist. He refused to oblige her and instead his mouth left hers to
press crazy kisses at her neck. “You’re so beautiful, my darling,”
he whispered against her satin soft skin moving lower to her
breasts. She let out a small cry, a tight pulsating ball of
starving need beginning to form deep inside her.