Heart Like Mine (36 page)

Then, in a flash, Joshua leaped toward him and knocked the gun to the floor with a move Delaney might have expected an ex-Marine to execute. Before Ian's father could reach to pick it up, Joshua had him on the floor, both hands behind his back as Delaney scrambled to get the gun.

And then suddenly, the room was filled with uniformed officers, but contrary to scenes she'd seen on television, there was no yelling, no circle of officers with guns raised. Instead, they were quiet, efficient, and in a matter of seconds, Ian's father had been cuffed and led out into the hallway.

When he was out of sight, the lieutenant returned to the room, where they'd all been told to hold tight. He pointed to Joshua and Delaney, motioning them out into the hallway.

“We're going to need to take some statements,” he said. “Dr. Mackenzie, you'll come with me. Ms. Blair, you'll go with Officer Farley.”

“What about my patients?” Joshua pointed at the room. “I can't just leave them there after what just happened.”

Delaney heard the raw pain in his voice. It echoed her own. There were two very scared little kids in that room. They couldn't abandon them right now, even
if
their parents were there.

“Crisis counselors are waiting at the nurses' station.” He pointed down the hallway. “As soon as we give them the okay, they'll be right in with your patients.”

Joshua shook his head. “You can't do statements later? These kids need me right now.”

“I know, and I'll promise to make this as quick as possible. But we need to get your statement while the situation is still fresh in your mind.”

“No offense, lieutenant, but this
situation
isn't likely to fade—not for a long, long time.”

“I understand.” The lieutenant put a hand on his shoulder. “Make sure
you
get an hour with one of the counselors before you leave, okay? I know you don't think you need it, but we all do.”

Delaney reached for Joshua's hand, but as soon as she touched him, he pulled away like he'd been stung. Her chest squeezed as tears pricked her eyes.

“Joshua—”

He shook his head. Then he looked at her, long and hard, and in the same eyes where she'd seen affection and heat just days ago, all she saw now was a dead, cold fury.

 

Chapter 32

“Ow.
Shit.
” Josh shook his hand, which was smarting from the hammer blow he'd just given it. It was Thursday night, today's papers had been filled with stories of the shooting, and he was hiding out at home after an ill-advised stop at the grocery store on the way home from the hospital. By the time he'd gotten through the produce aisle, he'd already been stopped ten times, and he'd ended up leaving his cart at the end of an aisle and escaping without his food.

“Hands better suited to doctoring than construction?” Ethan raised his eyebrows as he came across Josh's back lawn, carrying a cold brew.

“Better than
de
-construction, anyway.” He put down the hammer, taking the beer instead. “Thanks.”

Ethan shrugged. “Least I can do for the Echo Lake hero of the hour.”

“Not exactly my first choice of ways to get onto the front page.”

“I know. Hellish scene. I'm sure the last thing you want to do is relive it.” Ethan shook his head as he picked up a crowbar and scanned the old tree fort Josh had started taking apart. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

“They wouldn't let me out of there yesterday without talking to one of the crisis counselors, and I have a pile of brochures to read, and numbers to call if something hits in the middle of the night. I'm good.”

“How's Delaney?”

Joshua felt his gut clench when he heard her name. He hadn't seen her all day—hadn't seen her since they'd separated in the hallway yesterday—and that's exactly how he wanted it.

Pediatrics was on life support. And she'd helped to send it there.

Molly came through the back door and set down bowls of chips and salsa on the picnic table. “You look like hell, doc.”

“Thank you.”

He lifted his beer in a mock toast, then took a long swallow, trying not to notice the look that passed between Molly and Ethan.
He's losing it
, the look said.
He needs help.

“I'm fine, you guys. Stop looking at each other like I can't see you. I'm fine.”

Molly ran a finger under Josh's eye, tracing what he knew was probably a nice, dark circle.

“Have you slept at all since it happened?”

He rolled his eyes. “I'll sleep tonight.”

“Joshua Mackenzie, did you stay at that hospital all night?”

“Yes.”
Because, dear Molly, it was better than coming home to a bed that still smelled like Delaney's shampoo. It was better than sitting at the kitchen table trying not to remember the hour we spent on the chaise lounge just outside the back door. It was better than walking by the bathroom and remembering bubbles and skin and heat.

Molly frowned. “Honey, as soon as we feed you, we need to get you upstairs to bed.”

“I'm completely capable of getting myself there, Mols.” He sighed. He hadn't meant for his voice to come out so sharp. “But thank you. I know you mean well.”

“Okay.” She sighed, still studying his eyes. “How's Delaney doing with it all?”

“Why is everybody so damn concerned about Delaney?” He set his beer down, maybe a little harder than he meant to, and this time, Molly and Ethan didn't even try to mask their concern.

“What
happened
with you two?” Molly's eyebrows went skyward. “Saturday morning, you were all giggles and donuts, and I
know
she was still here on Sunday night because—well, because I know—and I'm pretty sure she was
also
still here Monday morning … which was only three days ago. And now you're out here laying waste to a tree fort you always said you were saving for your kids someday. What happened between then and now?”

“Besides a hospital shooting, you mean?”

She was silent, appraising him in that way she'd learned from her mother—the one that made you talk whether you wanted to or not. He resisted, but she'd known him forever. When he'd stopped here on his way between Mercy and Avery's House, he'd looked out in the backyard and been struck with a strong, horrible feeling he hardly recognized.

Delaney's words had been spinning through his brain since Tuesday night, and the way they echoed Nicole's made him question every damn thing about the choices he'd made. In his quest to honor his commitments—and his parents' sacrifices—had he completely lost sight of what was important? He'd been hurt by Nicole's cheating, had blamed her for being cold, insensitive, selfish. He'd been angry, furious, disappointed … but in the end, he'd known in his heart that they hadn't been meant to be.

But he'd always thought it was her.
She
didn't understand,
she
didn't want to adjust
her
life to be with
him
,
she
was somehow lacking in commitment … didn't love him enough.

In the past forty-eight hours, though, those arguments had been fading … fast. Because Delaney
wasn't
Nicole—wasn't anything like her, really. And yet … she'd ended up making the same decision in the end. It was just that the end had come a lot faster than with Nicole. Delaney had seen the future, and she'd found
him
lacking.

And she'd said good-bye.

“What happened, Josh?” Molly touched his arm. “And do I need to deliver a hot-sauce lasagna to the executive suite?”

“No. Definitely not.” He shook his head, sighing. “This time—this one's on me.”

In the twilight, with the tree frogs warming up all around them and the lightning bugs floating lazily around the yard, he started talking. An hour later, his second beer was empty, Ethan's eyes were wide, and Molly's hands were in fists. “I knew it. Am I not the one who warned you about her motives?”

Ethan nudged her with his elbow. “Not sure you're helping here.”

“I'm just saying. I called it, way back—weeks ago.” She paused. “Good God, has it only been weeks?”

Josh sighed. Yeah, it had—which was just a drop in the bucket of time, when you thought about it. And yet, on another plane, it seemed like forever. Four weeks ago, Delaney Blair had been nothing but a signature on paperwork. Then she'd been a thorn in his side, sent down from the executive suite.

But then he'd kissed her.

And then he'd spent the weekend wrapped up in her.

“I think I might need another beer.”

Molly raised her eyebrows. “You on-call tonight?”

“Would I be asking for another beer if I was?”

“You know what? No offense, hon, but I'm cutting you off.”

He leveled a look her way. “Seriously? Two beers, Mols.”

“Two beers plus one stomped heart is quite enough for tonight, I think. You add another beer to the equation, and you're going to be drunk-dialing at midnight. We can't let you go there.”

Ethan shrugged. “She has a point.”

“I have never drunk-dialed in my life.”

“There's always a first time.” Molly cringed. “And this is not the woman you want to try it on first.”

She stood up, taking his bottle. “I'll go make you some coffee.”

After she disappeared back into the house, Ethan looked down at the picnic table, tapping a loose nail idly, but not speaking. He did this for an obnoxiously long time, until Josh finally put his hand on the hammer to stop the incessant noise.

“Just say it.”

“Say what?” Ethan looked up innocently.

“Say whatever it is that you're thinking right now so we can get it over with.”

“Fine. Were you falling for her? Like, really falling?”

Josh rolled his eyes and looked around the yard, but there was no sense lying to his oldest friend. Ethan would see right through him.

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes. “Damn it all, yes. I was.”

“Are you completely sure you have the story straight?”

“It's hardly complicated. Yes.”

“And have you given her a chance to try to explain?”

Josh shook his head. “I don't want to hear a bullshit story. Not again. It's insulting.”

“Don't hate me for saying this, but—is there any possibility you're being snowed by someone besides Delaney here?”

“What do you mean?”

Ethan sat back. “I just don't think it makes sense. The Delaney we know—
you
know—wouldn't have made those recommendations. She couldn't have.”

“Well, apparently she did. After she dumped me.
After
she apparently got what she needed from me.”

“Has she called?”

Josh shook his head in frustration, thinking of the six voice mails waiting on his phone—six messages he'd refused to listen to. “Why does that matter?”

“Because if she truly was a coldhearted bitch just stepping on your head on her way to a corner office, then she probably wouldn't give a damn about you after she got what she wanted.”

“Maybe her one shred of decency feels like I'm owed an apology. I don't know.”

Molly returned with a coffee for him and a beer for Ethan. As soon as she turned back toward the kitchen, Ethan switched them around so Josh could have the beer.

“I don't buy it, and I don't think you do, either.” He pointed to the beer. “Drink it, but promise me you won't call her until tomorrow.”

“No worries.” Josh picked up the bottle and took a long draw. “I'm not calling her at all.”

*   *   *

“Donuts?” Delaney raised her eyebrows as Megan came through her office door with a pink bakery box and two giant cups of coffee on Friday morning. She set everything down on Delaney's desk and turned to shut the door behind her.

“Yes, donuts.”

Delaney swallowed hard, remembering another box of donuts, another morning … what felt like another life entirely.

“I'm pretty sure I haven't seen you eat in days, despite my delivering the requisite salads and sandwiches to your desk. So this morning, I went with donuts. I've never known you to be able to resist one.”

Delaney smiled sadly. “Thank you.”

“What kind do you want?” Megan opened the box and tipped it toward her. “Jelly? Glazed? Honey crunch?”

The last thing Delaney wanted right now was a donut—or
any
food, really. Megan was right—she'd hardly eaten since Tuesday, but try as she might, she didn't care.

When Delaney didn't reach in for a donut, Megan growled in frustration and put the box down on the desk. “I told you breaking up with him was a bad idea.”

“I didn't have a choice.” Delaney closed her eyes, leaning her head back on her chair. She'd never been so exhausted in her entire life. If this was what a broken heart felt like, she was never,
ever
letting herself fall in love again. “It's not like I wanted things to end up this way.”

“So now you've broken his heart, he thinks you've killed off his department, and you're both completely miserable. Awesome.”

“Are you trying to be helpful here?” Delaney opened one eye.

“I'm a little out of my league on this one. Sorry. You're a planner, Delaney. You're not the girl who goes blindly into a project and comes out blindly in love. I'm not sure what the protocol is on this, okay?”

Delaney couldn't help but let a tiny laugh escape at the bewildered tone in Megan's voice. Then she sobered. “Yeah. Well, this is kind of a new one for me, too.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don't know what I
can
do. I've left him a gazillion messages, I've tried to go down and talk to him, I've tried to meet with Margaret to see if there's
any
way to rescind that vote. Brick walls, Megan. It's all brick walls. I can't fix
any
thing.”