Healing Love (Love to the Extreme) (22 page)

Then he did. By wrapping his opponent in a choke hold. The man refused to tap out, struggling against the hold, and only after he went limp and the ref called the fight, did Lance release him.

Her stomach dropped. There wasn’t even a way for him to claim that had been an unintentional win. A knockout could be explained away. Choking a man out—literally—was a clear message that he never had any intention of losing.

Damn him. He’d just made this entire situation worse.

Ella glanced over at the McNealys. Both had straightened off the wall, shock evident on their faces. As with everything they did, they believed they’d tied things up perfectly to go their way. As the crowd went wild around her, she kept her gaze on the cousins. Waiting. Fury leached the shocked expressions away.

Lance exited the cage and started toward her. She watched the McNealys head in their direction. This was going to be bad. So bad.

Throat tight, she looked up at Lance as he came to stand beside her. The bruising that had slightly healed over the last few days was bright and inflamed again. Blood streaked one side of his face from the gash that had reopened on his cheek. Large angry red splotches marred his torso from the multiple body shots he’d taken. Most likely he’d be nothing but bruises again tomorrow.

“Why?” was the only word she could get out. He’d had an out. No more senseless injuries. He’d be done with the McNealys. He could put all his attention to getting his daughter back, put this part of his life completely behind him. But he hadn’t chosen that route. He’d chosen to continue it.

His brow creased in confusion. “Why what?”

“I know about the deal.”

Swallowing, he straightened. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Because of your pride.”

“I know you’re disappointed, Kelsey. But I’ll get it paid back. It’s just going to take a little longer.”

“At what cost, Lance? Your health? I hope keeping your pride intact was worth it.”

“Office. Now,” Mitch ordered as he and Gabe stormed past.

Knowing he needed to put pressure on the wound over his eyebrow, she stepped into her room, grabbed a towel, then held it out to Lance. He pressed it to his forehead and started following the McNealys.

She fell into step behind them, feeling like a lead weight was in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t stand by and watch the man she— Her heart stuttered. God, there was no reason to deny it. The reason she stayed way past the point she needed to was that she hadn’t wanted to leave Lance. She’d fallen in love with a man who only thought of himself and his pride.

As soon as the door closed behind them, Gabe pointed at Lance. “We had a deal.”

“Yeah? I decided I didn’t like the terms.”

Mitch hurled a glass across the room and it shattered against the wall. Lance immediately stepped in front of her. She didn’t need his protection. Not when he kept refusing hers. “Do you have any idea how much fucking money we lost tonight?”

“You only lost the money for the upset. You and I both know you still made a goddamn killing tonight,” Lance said. “I decided that I would rather continue fighting than lower my standards as a fighter.”

Closing her eyes, Ella hung her head. He didn’t see it. The big picture was completely oblivious to him. Sometimes a person had to swallow their pride for the greater good. And this was one of those moments.

Mitch stared at him, chest heaving in rage. This was the first time she really saw the cousins as a physical threat. He was so furious he was capable of anything. A sneer curled his upper lip as he directed the glare at her. “We’ll take that check now.”

“What check?” Lance asked.

“Your girlfriend wanted to pay off your loan earlier, so you wouldn’t have to fight anymore.”

Lance jerked back like he’d been struck. In a way, he had been. He’d see this as much of a betrayal as she saw his refusal to lose as one.

“You tried to pay them off?” he asked.

She held his gaze, not ashamed about what she did. She’d been looking out for his best interest, and she wouldn’t apologize for it, especially when he refused to do it for himself. “I did.”

All he did was stare at her, then he rammed a fist in the nearby wall. “I told you this was my debt. My responsibility.”

Unruffled, she lifted her chin. “Unlike you, I was looking at the big picture. You needed to stop fighting before you ended up really hurt. I had the money.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck that you had the money—it’s not your debt to pay. It’s mine.” He knotted his hands in his hair. “Why can’t you leave it alone? Why can’t you let me do this my way? Why do you want to jump in and rescue me? I didn’t ask you to the first time, and I’m not asking you to now. Stop. Rescuing. Me.”

“Someone has to save you from yourself. Your damn pride is going to end up getting you killed.”

“Both of you shut the fuck up,” Mitch yelled. “I want my goddam money. I don’t give two shits where it comes from. I want it and I want it now.”

“You’re not getting that money from her.” Lance took a step toward him. “You’ll get your fucking loss. Okay? Schedule another fight and I’ll make it the biggest goddamn upset in MMA history.” He returned his glare to her. “You happy now?”

Her shoulders slumped. He still didn’t get it. Considering his past, he never would. People couldn’t go at it alone. “This has never had anything to do with making me happy. You refuse to accept help, Lance. And I’m not going to stick around and watch you destroy yourself simply because of your stubborn pride. It’s time for me to go home.”

Without another word, she turned and left the room. She pressed her lips together willing away the tears that rimmed her eyes. Her trip here had always been temporary. Why did she feel so heartbroken in leaving? She shook away the feeling. She had a life to reclaim and a man to forget.

Chapter Eleven

Ella shifted the grocery bag higher up in the crook of her arm as she strode up the stone walkway that lead to Healing Hands Women’s Shelter. The huge six-bedroom Victorian house had been restored and donated to the town ten years ago by a man whose mother had died at the hands of his abusive father.

When she’d been approved as a volunteer to work inside the shelter, she’d been humbled. Talking to these women had been a great secondary source of therapy as they dealt with some of the same emotions that she did. She’d encouraged them, given them hope…and then run as soon as her past intertwined with the present. Facing them again was going to be one of the hardest things she’d done in a long time.

As she neared the wraparound porch, her chest tightened. Since she’d returned to Maine four days ago, she’d walked through two important doors: her home’s and the hospital’s. She’d expected to feel some sort of triumph in doing so, but her return had been anti-climactic. She’d simply returned. If anything, she’d been left with an edgy, clawing feeling that something was missing, which made no sense. She was taking back everything she’d set out to reclaim. Shouldn’t she feel victorious?

The only explanation she could come up with was that she’d avoided the shelter. Now she was about to walk through the third and final door.

She punched in the code on the electronic keypad and waited for the clicking sounds that signaled the door had unlocked. Taking a deep breath, Ella stepped inside the foyer. A familiar redhead glanced up from behind the front desk.

A huge smile spread across Rebecca’s face as she stood and hurried around the desk to hug Ella. “God, Ella, we’ve missed you.”

It felt so good to be going by her real name again, especially here.

Healing Hands had been the only place she’d been able to be herself since Randy had changed her. It was one of the reasons why this place, the women inside these walls, were so important. They shared something horrific others didn’t understand.

She pulled away from Rebecca and smiled, not caring that her eyes were rimmed with tears. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“We’ve been so worried about you.” No pity resided in the look Rebecca gave her, just sympathetic understanding. “It didn’t take rocket science to figure out why you left so suddenly. How are you doing?”

“I came home,” she answered.

Rebecca squeezed her arm in a reassuring, calming way. “There’s a lot of explanation in those three words, huh?”

“Yeah, there is.” Ella glanced toward the common room.

Her friend gently nudged her forward. “Go on. I’m sure there are a few people who’d love to see you.” She took the bag of groceries. “I’ll take these into the kitchen.”

Ella stepped inside the common room, noting a few new women sitting on the couch watching the television. A sudden squeal came from her right, just before she was tackle hugged. Stumbling back a step, she grabbed onto the young brown-haired woman and chuckled. “Jessie. I wasn’t sure you’d still be here.”

The shelter was temporary housing. Some women only stayed a day or two as they made arrangements to leave their abuser. Some didn’t have family or friends to turn to and stayed longer trying to get back on their feet. Jessie had been one of those without family. It had just been her and her four-year-old daughter, Maddy.

Jessie released her and stepped back. Ella was happy to see a little life sparking in the young woman’s hazel eyes. When she’d walked through those doors almost two months ago, she’d been at her lowest with her self-esteem. She’d met her boyfriend right after she’d had Maddy. Things had been good for a while, but then her boyfriend had shown his true colors. He’d cry and be remorseful afterward, she’d forgive him, and the cycle would start all over again. The cycle ended the night he laid his hand on her son. She’d been here ever since.

“Come on.” Jessie waved her toward one of the wood tables they used to play games on. “Let’s catch up.”

After they sat, Ella studied Jessie. “You look good.”

“I have my good days and my bad days. Today’s a good day.”

She understood that. “How are things going?”

“Trying to make a decision. I have one more week before I’ll have to ask for another extension. I’m not sure they’ll give it to me this time.” She sighed and ran a hand through her long hair. “I’m not even sure I want one.”

Because of the limited space, six weeks was the standard time frame to allow someone to make other arrangements. However, on a case-by-case basis, the stay could be extended by two weeks. Two extensions were rare though.

“What are you trying to decide, Jessie?”

God, she hoped it wasn’t whether to return to her ex. She’d seen it happen before.

The young woman fiddled with her fingers then asked, “Why did you come back?”

Ella jerked slightly, surprised by the question. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“Your ex got out of prison. That’s why you left. You had every chance to start over somewhere new, where no one knew who you were, didn’t know your past. You could be anyone. Why did you come back?”

“I was someone else. When I left, I became Kelsey McGuire. I spent the entire time I was gone wanting to be Ella Watts again. I couldn’t be Ella Watts until I came back.”

Confusion twisted Jessie’s face. “Why was returning to the place where your abuse happened so important to you?”

“Avery is my home, and I didn’t leave on my terms. I was forced to leave because of my fear of Randy. That made me angry.”

Jessie studied her for a moment, with a searching look that made Ella slightly uncomfortable. “Did you like where you went?”

She swallowed, not wanting to think about her time in Kansas. She’d done her best not to think about Lance at all as she tried to get back into her daily life. She had been pretty successful in keeping herself busy. “I did.”

“Did you meet new people?”

Again she swallowed. “I did.”

“Could you have started over there?”

The rush of tears suddenly burned the back of her eyes, stunning her. Blinking, she glanced away. She’d never let herself think about Kansas as a permanent home. Her goal had always been to return to Avery, her career, her home, and return to these women and show them she was above her fear. Could she have started over in Kansas?

Lance’s smiling face formed in her mind, followed by Amber. And Skylar.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because I had to come back to prove something.”

“So your pride is what brought you back.”

“No. I—” She blinked. God, was that it? Had she allowed her pride to keep her from seeing she had other options?

Had she judged Lance for something she’d been doing herself? All he wanted was to pay the McNealys back on his terms. All she’d wanted was to return to Avery on her terms. Both of those motivations were fueled by pride. Both could have been resolved, had they allowed themselves to see their other choices.

She had other options, too, but deep down, she’d never be okay with feeling like she’d been run out of her hometown. Just like Lance would never have felt right cheating people out of their money to pay back the debt he owed. It would have eaten at him, just like her never coming back to Maine would’ve eaten at her.

What had she done?

She reached over and squeezed Jessie’s hand. “Yes. It was pride. It was important for me to return to Avery. It was part of my closure.”

“Do you have it now?”

“Not completely. I have one more thing I have to do.”

…

Ella gripped the steering wheel tighter as she stared at the brick front of the pizza parlor.

A lot of scenarios had gone through her mind since she learned of Randy’s release. All had revolved around him hunting her down in some dark location and making good on finishing her off. None had involved her hunting
him
down.

But that was exactly what she’d done. It had only taken a little bit of probing to find out Randy had taken a job as a dishwasher, and what schedule he worked.

She’d spent the last hour driving up and down the highway, working up the courage to pull into the parking lot. Now that she had, doubt crept into her decision. She hadn’t seen Randy since the night he’d attacked her. When he’d pled guilty to avoid a harsher sentence, she’d still been in the hospital recovering.