Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (168 page)

That just wasn’t
her.

Tick.

And then it occured to Harry that somebody had previously tried to frame Hermione Granger for murder using Memory Charms. Had done so inside Hogwarts, without setting off any alarms. And had arranged for Draco to die slowly enough that it wouldn’t set off the wards until at least six hours later when nobody could use a Time-Turner to check. And that whoever was clever enough to infiltrate a troll past the ancient wards of Hogwarts without the Headmaster coming to investigate the strange creature, could be clever enough to
also
take the obvious step of jinxing Hermione’s magic items…

Tick.

There was a part of him that felt something like slowly rising panic as perspective shifted, a Necker Cube changing orientation, what the
hell
had Harry been thinking, letting Hermione and Neville be kept inside Hogwarts just because of them being given a few stupid trinkets, that wasn’t going to stop anyone who wanted to
kill them
.

Tick.

Another part of his mind put up resistance, that possibility wasn’t
certain
, it was complex and the probability could easily be under 50%. It was easy to imagine going into a huge panic in front of everyone and then Hermione getting back from the washrooms outside the Great Hall. Or if the troll ended up not going anywhere near her… like in the story of the boy who cried wolf, nobody would believe him the next time if she really was in trouble; it could use up reputational credit that he would later need for something else…

Tick.

Harry recognized an instance of the fear-of-embarrassment schema that stopped most people from ever doing anything under conditions of uncertainty, and squashed it down hard. Even then it was strange how much willpower it took to muster the decision to shout out loud in front of everyone, if he just hadn’t seen Hermione in the crowd it was going to be embarrassing…

Tick.

Harry drew in a deep breath and shouted as loudly as he could,
“Hermione Granger! Are you here?”

The students all turned to look at him. Then some of them turned around to look around themselves. The noise around the room went down in volume as some conversations stilled.

“Has anyone seen Hermione Granger since -
since around ten-thirty today or so?
Does anyone have any idea where she might be?”

The background babble stilled further.

Nobody raised their voice to shout anything at him, in particular not,
Don’t worry, Harry, I’m right here.

“Oh, Merlin,” somebody said from nearby, and then the background babble started up again, taking on a new and excited tone.

Harry stared down at his hands, shutting out the yammering and tried to think, think,
THINK -

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Susan Bones and a redheaded boy with a battered-looking wand both shoved their way through the crowd to Harry at the same time.

“We’ve got to let the Professors know somehow -”

“We’ve got to go find her -”

“Find her?”
Susan snapped, rounding on the other boy. “How’ll we do
that
, Captain Weasley?”

“We’ll go off and
look
for her!” Ron Weasley snapped back.

“Are you nuts? There’s already Professors searching the hallways, what makes you think we’ve got any better chance than them of running across General Granger? Only
we’ll
get eaten by the troll! And then expelled!”

It was odd, how sometimes hearing bad ideas made the right idea obvious by contrast.

“
All right everyone! Listen up!
”

People turned to look.

“
QUIET! EVERYONE! SHUT UP!
”

Harry’s throat ached after that, but he had everyone’s attention.

“I have a broomstick,” Harry said as loudly as he could manage with his throat still hurting. He’d remembered Azkaban, and the broomstick which had only sat two, when he’d requested one that could carry three. “It’s a 3-seater. I need one seventh-year from the armies to come with me. We’re going to fly through the hallways as fast as possible looking for Hermione Granger, pick her up, and come back immediately. Who’s with me?”

The Great Hall became entirely silent, then.

Students glanced at each other uneasily. The younger students looked expectantly at the older students, while they in turn turned to look at the students who were guarding the perimeter. Most of those were staring straight ahead, pointing their wands just in case the troll picked that moment to burst through a wall.

No one moved.

No one spoke.

Harry Potter spoke again. “We’re not going to
fight
the troll. If we see it we’ll just fly away and there’s no way it’ll be able to keep up with us on a broomstick. I’ll take responsibility for squaring it with the administration.
Please.
”

People went on looking at other people.

Harry stared at the silent crowd, the dozen seventh-years looking sternly outward, feeling the coldness coming over him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Professor Quirrell was laughing scornfully and mocking the idea that ordinary fools would ever do something useful of their own will, without a wand pointed at their heads…

Tick.

The standard remedy for bystander apathy was to focus on a single individual. “All right,” Harry said, trying to keep the commanding voice of the Boy-Who-Lived who didn’t doubt obedience. “Miss Morgan, come with me, now. We’ve got no time to waste.”

The witch he’d named turned from where she’d been staring steadily out at the perimeter, her expression aghast for the one second before her face closed up.

“The Deputy Headmistress ordered us all to stay
here
, Mr. Potter.”

It took an effort for Harry to unclench his teeth. “Professor Quirrell didn’t say that and neither did you. Professor McGonagall isn’t a tactician, she didn’t think to check if we had missing students and
she
thought it was a good idea to start marching students through the hallways. But Professor McGonagall
understands
after her mistakes are pointed out to her, you saw how she listened to you and Professor Quirrell, and I’m certain that she wouldn’t want us to just ignore the fact that Hermione Granger is
out there, alone -”

Tick.

“I’d expect the Professor to say she’d not wish any more students roaming the halls. The Professor said if anyone left for any reason, they’d be expelled. Maybe
you
don’t need to worry because you’re the Boy-Who-Lived, but the rest of us
do!
”

Tick.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Professor Quirrell was just laughing at him. Expecting some
normal
person to act without perfect strategic clarity, without a clear focus of responsibility on them personally, when they had a
good excuse to do nothing…
“A student’s life is at stake,” Harry said in a level voice. “She could be fighting the troll right now. Out of curiosity, does that mean anything to you at all?”

Tick.

Miss Morgan’s face twisted. “You - you’re the Boy-Who-Lived! Just go off by yourself and snap your fingers, if you want to help her!”

Tick.

Harry was hardly even aware of what he was saying. “That’s just cleverness and bluffing, I don’t have any power like that in real life, a young girl needs your help
now are you a Gryffindor or not?”

“Why are you saying any of this to
me?
” cried Miss Morgan. “I wasn’t left in charge here! Mr. Hagrid was!”

There was an awkward pause that suffused the whole room.

Harry spun to look up at the huge half-giant towering over the crowd of students, as all other heads also turned toward him as one.

“Mr. Hagrid,” Harry said, trying to keep his voice commanding. “You need to authorize this expedition and you need to do it now.”

Rubeus Hagrid looked conflicted, though that was hard to judge with his vast head so surrounded by his unshorn beard and locks; only his eyes looked alive, embedded in all that hair. “Eh…” said the half-giant. “I was tol’ to keep yeh all safe -”

“Great, now can we also keep Hermione Granger safe? You know, the student framed for
a murder she did not commit
who needs
someone to help her?”

The half-giant startled as Harry spoke the words.

Harry stared at the enormous man, desperately willing him to pick up on the hint, hoping the words hadn’t given it away to anyone else - he couldn’t be just muscle, surely James and Lily had been friends with this man out of more than pity -

“Framed?” called out an anonymous voice, from somewhere over near where the Slytherins gathered. “Ha, are you still on that? It’d serve her right if she did get eaten.”

There was some laughter, even as cries of indignation came from elsewhere.

The half-giant’s face firmed up. “Yeh stay here, lad,” Mr. Hagrid said in a booming tone that was probably meant to be gentle. “I’ll go and look fer her meself. Truth is, trolls can be a mite tricky - yeh’ve got to catch ‘em by an ankle and dangle ‘em just right, or they’ll rip yeh clean in half -”

“Can you ride a broomstick, Mr. Hagrid?”

“Eh -” Rubeus Hagrid frowned. “No.”

“Then you can’t search fast enough.
Sixth-years! Calling all sixth-years! Are there any sixth-years here who aren’t worthless cowards?”

Silence.

“
Fifth years?
Mr. Hagrid, tell them they’re authorized to go with me and keep me safe!
I’m trying to be sensible, damn it!
”

The half-giant wrung his hands with an agonized expression. “Eh - I -”

Something snapped inside Harry and he started to stride directly toward the doors to the Great Hall, pushing aside anyone who didn’t get out of his way as though they were doughy statues. (He didn’t run, because running was an invitation for somebody to stop you.) Somewhere in his mind he was moving through an empty room filled with mechanical puppets by whose meaningless lip-moving noises he’d been
distracted
-

A huge figure interposed itself in his way.

Harry looked up.

“I can’t let yeh do that, Harry Potter, not yeh of all people. There’s strange things afoot in this castle, and someone might be after Miss Granger - or they might be after
yeh.
” Rubeus Hagrid’s voice was regretful but firm, and his gigantic hands lay at his side like forklifts. “I can’t let yeh go out there, Harry Potter.”

“
Stupefy!
”

The red bolt crashed into the side of Hagrid’s head and made the huge man startle. His head snapped around faster than anything that large should’ve moved, and bellowed, “
What do yeh think yeh’re doing!
” at the young form of Susan Bones.

“
Sorry!
” she screamed. ”
Incendium! Glisseo!
”

The huge man’s hands, now slapping at the fire in his beard, didn’t quite manage to catch himself as he crashed to the floor, but it didn’t matter by then because Harry was past him and -

Neville Longbottom stepped in front of him, looking desperate but determined, the Hufflepuff boy’s wand already level in his hand.

Harry’s hand went for his wand in a sheer reflex action, he barely managed to check himself before Neville could fire on him, staring at his Lieutenant as though the world had gone mad.

“Harry!” Neville burst out. “Harry, Mr. Hagrid’s right, you
can’t
, this could all be a trap, they could be after
you -
”

All of Neville’s muscles went rigid and he toppled to the ground, stiff as a board.

A pale-looking Ron Weasley stepped out from behind Neville, his own wand level, and said, “Go.”

“Ron, you madman, what are you doing -
” came a voice distantly identifiable as Miss Clearwater’s boyfriend, but Harry was already dashing for the door without looking back, even as Ron’s voice and Susan’s voice rose again in incantation. There was a huge indignant bellow, and unknown voices began to yell.

Then Harry was through, his hand reaching into his pouch and his voice was saying
“broomstick”,
as behind him the great doors began to swing shut again.

Harry continued running through the Entrance Hall even as the long three-person broomstick and its sets of stirrups began to protrude from the pouch, repeating a number of swearwords in his head and thinking
this is what happens when you try to be sensible
with the part of his mind that wasn’t trying to figure out a search pattern to cover places where Hermione might be. The Library was on the third floor and practically on the other side of the castle… Harry had almost reached the great marble staircase by the time the broomstick was in his hand and
“Up!
” he was in the air and accelerating up toward the second floor -

“
Gah!
” Harry screamed, and barely managed to spin his broom in the air so that he didn’t impale one of the human figures lurking at the top of the stairs. There was a ghastly moment of trying not to fall off the broom, perform the twists that would keep him in the stirrups, despite being really close to the ground and having almost no room to maneuver and then -

“
Fred? George?
”

“We can’t figure out how to find her!” one of the Weasley twins blurted, hands twisting in distress. “We snuck out because we thought we could find Miss Granger - there
has
to be a quick way to find anyone inside the Hogwarts castle, we’re both sure of it - but we can’t figure out what it is!”

Harry stared at both of them, from where he was hanging upside down from the broomstick where his desperate maneuver had brought him, and entirely by reflex his mouth said, “Well,
why
were you so sure you could find her?”

“We
don’t know!”
cried the other Weasley twin.

“Have you been able to find people inside Hogwarts before?”

“
Yes!
We -” and the Weasley twin who was speaking stopped abruptly, both redheads staring off into the distance with a blank expression.