Harmony (19 page)

       “Just when I thought my luck was changing,” Ian sighed. Sophie had a way of making him feel like his existence mattered, that he was more than the demon that possessed him. Ian wanted his life to have meaning! He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without Sophie.

       He drove at insane speeds, trying to drown out the self-pity and loathing that was consuming his thoughts. He couldn’t shake the uneasiness that he felt—
blasted premonitions
. “What was she thinking? Sophie,” Ian said wistfully, “What are you up too?” He knew that he wasn’t getting the full truth from her. He wasn’t sure if it was the plan or that she didn’t trust him enough to confide in him everything.
If
he had a beating heart, he was sure it would break. Remorsefully, Ian thought out loud, “It would be my fate to desire and love something that was never mine to begin with.”

FINAL ENCOUNTER

Concentrating on the AP English final was a little hard when I was so distracted by, well, my life. How could I coherently analyze the merits of Kate Chopin’s
The Awakening
, when the fate of Ian was resting in my hands? It was an understatement that my heart was heavy. I felt like banging my head in frustration. I tapped my pencil anxiously, biting my lower lip. “I should have taken ceramics,” I muttered to myself. “I just need to get through this.” School just didn’t really seem that important at this juncture when the fate of a soul rested in my hands. Too much pressure—my head felt like a pressure cooker, ready to explode.

      
I really need to vent,
I thought, shuffling my test papers together. I sighed; my essay would have to do. I handed in my final and quickly exited to the hall. Students were mingling, signing yearbooks, taking pictures, and cleaning out lockers.
Something I should be doing too.
I slowly walked to my locker waiting for Max and Emily. Slumping to the floor, I took a moment to search my mind for any sign of Ian. He was so distant, but I could still feel his presence hovering at the back, ready for when I’d need him. Vampires were just as frustrating as boys!

       The little hairs on the back of my neck bristled as I felt another presence; a cold, depleting presence that made me shiver.
Connacher.
Ian’s presence shot forward in my mind warding him off.
It’s okay, Ian. He’s just toying with me.
I could see Connacher laughing in my mind. I shuddered thinking about what I was going to do.
It’s got to be tonight.

       Ian said,
Are you sure?

       I rested my forehead on my knees.
Yes, it needs to be over.
I knew that Connacher was privy to our mental conversation, but that was part of the plan. He already knew the plan and was just biding his time for the place. I could feel the anticipation building in his mind as he savored the thought of sinking his teeth into me.

       “Hey, Soph,” Emily said. “Are you okay?  Man that final was brutal!” She sat down next to me.

       I was going to miss hanging out with Emily. “Yeah, I am so glad that is over,” I said stretching out on the floor.

       “Can you believe this is it?” Emily said.

       “I’m ready,” I replied, thinking more of my plans tonight then the end of high school.

       “I know, you checked out quite awhile ago,” Emily replied.

       “Hey, it’s not like that,” I said. “You know I love you, right? I have had fun. You and Max kept me sane. I just never really felt like I belonged here. Do you know what I mean?” I implored for her understanding.

       Emily hugged me. “I get it, just don’t leave me behind too.”

       “Em, I could never do that.”

       Max came running down the hall toward us.  “Oh my gosh, I am so through with this school!” Emily and I laughed; Max had a way of just making you feel okay about everything. “Come here you two,” Max said. “We need a picture to remember this monumental accomplishment.” He pulled us up and we took portrait photo of the three of us—best friends for life.

       “What’s happening tonight?” Max asked.

       “What do you mean?” Guilt was written all over my face. 

       “You and Grams, dork. Are you celebrating tonight or after graduation?” Max said.

       “Oh, yeah, I’m not sure. Maybe after graduation. We really haven’t talked about it,” I said lost in thought.

       “Okay, this has got to stop, Soph,” Max said then turned to Emily.  “Come on, Em, tell me. Did that Ian dude do something?”

       I quickly came to Ian’s defense. “I don’t know what you mean, but Ian didn’t do anything. I’m just so ready for school to be over, that’s all.”

       Emily piped in, “Max, leave it alone.”

       Max grabbed me in a huge bear hug and said, “Soph, I’m just worried about you. It’s like you’re here, but you’re not really, are you?”

       I felt really safe at that moment. “You and Em are my best friends, and that will never change, but we are
changing
—going different ways—you just don’t want to see it.”

       Max let go and reluctantly agreed, “I know, I just wish we could stay this way forever sometimes.”

       Emily grabbed our hands, “Hey, I want in on this love fest too.”

       We all laughed reminiscing about the past three years, and it was then that I
knew
we’d be okay with whatever the future might bring.

***

       Ian was waiting for me when I got home. I silently went into his arms overwhelmed with all my emotions about him, my friends, Grams, and Connacher. He tenderly stroked my hair, patiently waiting for me to tell him what was wrong. He was so good that way—always knowing when to let me be. I eventually pulled away and smiled, looking at the concern written all over his face. He was perfect, and despite everything, this was a perfect day. It was then that I realized I could do anything if Ian was with me.

       “Thanks for giving me a moment,” I said.

       “Take as many moments as you need, Sophie, always,” Ian said, releasing his hold on me. I flopped on my bed; I was mentally exhausted. “I worry about you,” Ian began, “you’re giving up on your friends. I think they might understand if you give them a chance.”

       I sighed, “Sometimes, I get ready to say something, and it never seems like the right moment. I’m not just talking about you and all this vampire stuff, but I’ve
changed,
and I don’t want them to look at me differently.”

       Ian walked over to my bed and pulled me onto his lap. “They are your friends, and I don’t think you give them enough credit.”

       I rested my head on his shoulder, “I know, but how do I start that conversation? ‘Hey guys, by the way, my boyfriend is a vampire, and I just found out that I am telepathic and the key to an ancient prophecy.’”

       Ian laughed. “When you put it that way, it does sound crazy.”

       We held each other for a while, not really talking or moving,
just being,
as Buddha would say. I fell asleep and  awoke with a start to find myself all tangled up with Ian. His body was so still that I imagined he might have been at peace too.

       “You’re awake,” Ian said, breaking the silence.

       “How long was I out?” I asked.

       “About an hour or so,” Ian replied, stretching. Both of us carefully avoided what we really needed to talk about.

       “Ian,” I began, “I’m not sure about tonight.” I walked over the window and stared into the night.

       Ian came up behind me and whispered, “We don’t have to do anything. We can hide again. Just you and me, ride off, and never look back.”

       Part of me wanted to do just that; it was so tempting, but it would just put us back at square one. “I wish it were that simple, Ian. We have to finish it; it’s the least I can do for my mother.”
And for you…
I silently thought.

       I could feel the longing in Ian as he held me tight.
I wish I could have done something differently, Sophie. I tried not to want you.

       I stared at our silhouettes in my bedroom window.
Ian, I’m glad you didn’t do anything differently. You are my world, my safe place—the one I count on.
I turned and hugged him fiercely as tears streamed down my cheeks.

       Ian tilted my chin up with his fingers and stared into my eyes—my soul.
Sophie, you truly do believe that I’m safe. I can’t though. The demon will always be between us, and I couldn’t bear it if I let him hurt you.

I struggled with thoughts of what would happen tonight.
Ian, you are stronger than you think. I trust you completely. Nothing you do will ever change that.

       Ian bent his head and brushed a gentle kiss on my lips.
Don’t get me wrong, Sophie; I want to believe you are right. You have captured me in your heart and shown me new possibilities. I don’t want to give that up either.

       “Then kiss me already,” I said, submitting myself to his desire. “I will always be yours.”

***

       The school was to be our final destination. I knew before we entered the building that I should turn around and run, just like Ian had suggested earlier. But fate would have it that I couldn’t resist the pull of Connacher’s mind. Part of me craved the darkness. How else would that explain my attraction to Ian?
He was also part good
, I reminded myself. It had taken me this long to realize that I wasn’t meant to resist; my choice was to accept. I was finally ready to surrender.

       The halls of the school seemed longer at night as they cast shadows from the flickering overhead lights. There was a dim roar of past conversations with classmates floating by me as I gave Connacher complete access to my mind. It was really easy to get lost in memories.

       Ian squeezed my hand, “Sophie?” I felt mesmerized by the tantalizing texture of Connacher’s thoughts. Ian shook me harder, “Sophie, snap out of it.”

       I shook off his grip. “Sorry, he’s strong.”

       Ian pulled me closer in a protective stance. “I know, don’t forget I’m here too.”

       I inhaled sharply as we rounded the corner to the cafeteria. Connacher stood in front of us. His coal-black eyes pierced my core as he tried to see into my mind. Ian drew me even closer to his body; his touch was ice cold. It bolstered my confidence—this was right. I felt it; every step I took seemed like an eternity. It was time to face the monster of my dreams once and for all.

       “Ian,” Connacher nodded his head in his direction. “It’s been too long.”

       Ian replied coldly, “Connacher, can’t say the same.” The battle lines were drawn—the plan was a go.

       “It’s time,” Connacher said, “are you ready, Sophie?” He flashed me a sinister grin.       I wasn’t sure if I answered, but it didn’t matter. The choice was clear. I turned and looked longingly at Ian. “I’m so sorry, Ian.” Ian looked at me perplexed, unable to read my mind quickly enough to see what I was doing. I pulled out a pocketknife and sliced my arm; blood dripped to the floor.       

       Ian’s face fell as he pushed me away. “No Sophie,” he whispered as Connacher started to laugh. Ian shrunk back against the wall as I flung myself at Ian, forcing my arm to his lips. “Drink!” I commanded him. The beast within him roared. Ian struggled to remain, but he was too overcome with my scent, and he sunk his teeth into my flesh. I felt the piercing shock of poisonous venom sear through my veins. I pushed back mentally with the light I’d been harnessing in defense.

       Momentarily shocked, Ian pushed me away, and I skidded to the lockers across the hall. Tears ran down my cheeks as I forced myself to stand. Connacher flew to Ian and whispered to his demonic side. I could see the confusion and betrayal in his eyes. The grief deep within my soul was too much, as I felt the melody of our song break.
How could you?
I thought I heard him say. I could sense the demon’s bloodlust for me, but Ian lunged instead for Connacher’s neck and clawed his way to expose a vein. I was regretting what I’d done. It was a gruesome sight to witness two vampires fight, knowing that I had created this scenario and put Ian in the middle of it. I held my arm in pain, trying to stop the bleeding; a pool of blood lay under my feet. Ian spun around at my movement and raised his head. He looked directly at me and hissed. I could see the torment on his face as he struggled to remain in control.

       “Ian,” I whispered in desperation. “Fight, don’t leave me here like this now.”

        “Sophie, RUN!” Ian screamed.

       I ran.

       I had to reach him somehow; I knew Ian was buried somewhere beneath the monster. His appetites that he so painstakingly repressed were fueling his desires for me.
At least our telepathic wave length was still in tack.
It was my fault Ian was about to break a promise so long ago made.

       I scrambled down the hall to the stairs that headed up to the roof. My legs were shaking as I stumbled and fell. I could sense Ian and Connacher behind me. They took their time, because there was nowhere to run or go to; it was too late. Just as in my nightmares, IT would catch me. The only difference this time was that Ian wouldn’t be there to save me—ward off the darkness.
What have I done? Some choice this was turning out to be.

      
I searched the roof for something to fend vamped Ian off with until I could reason with him.
I won’t give up on him.
Ian was stronger than that; I just knew it. I found a shovel lying on the ground and whirled around to face him.

       “Let me see, Ian!” I searched violently in the demon’s mind for any traces that Ian could still hear me.
I have to reach him,
I pleaded with the gods and Deirdre
.
“This is not the destiny I choose!” I screamed into the night.