Harlequin Presents January 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: Sheikh's Desert Duty\Nine Months to Redeem Him\Fonseca's Fury\The Russian's Ultimatum (32 page)

“How perfect. For both of you.” He rose to his feet, slowly, like a giant rising in front of me. “Do you want me to help you pack?”

My lips parted at the coldness of his tone. “I don't want to leave you—”

“It's exactly what you want,” he said acidly. “Go back to California, with all your industry connections. Jason Black is dying to have you back, so much he's obligingly dug up an acting job for you. Everything you want has fallen into your lap. There's nothing left to do but give you a goodbye kiss.”

Every woman Edward had trusted had abandoned him, lied to him. But I would not. “I don't want to go. Because—”

He lifted a dark eyebrow and said mockingly, “Because?”

My spine straightened, and I forced myself to say it, simply, clearly, with every syllable full of equal parts anguish and hope. “Because I'm in love with you, Edward.”

The effect was immediate.

Dropping his hands, he staggered back. His eyes looked wild in the shadowy light. He took a step toward me. Then stopped.

“I want to stay,” I whispered, almost begging. “Please give me a reason to stay. Tell me I have a chance with you.”

I heard his intake of breath. “Diana...” He caught himself. His jaw grew tight. “No.”

“You don't want me,” I said miserably.

“Of course I want you,” he said fiercely. Then he looked away. “I just know how this will end.” With a low curse, he yanked off his loosened tuxedo tie. “I should have broken this off weeks ago. Before we left Cornwall. But I couldn't.” He looked at me, and I thought I saw a sheen of bewilderment in his eyes, even grief. “And this is the result. Pain for us both.”

“Don't you have any feelings for me at all?” I choked out.

He stepped back. The short distance between us suddenly became wide. “I care about you.” I saw the smudges of shadows beneath his eyes. He took a breath. “In fact I'm afraid, if I let myself, I could fall in love with you, Diana.”

Joy leapt in my heart. “Edward—”

“But I won't let it happen,” he said flatly. “I won't let myself love you.”

The cut was so sudden and savage that my breath choked off and a sound came from my lips like a whimper.

His eyes glittered. “Love is a suckers' game, Diana. I've told you that all along. The only way to win is not to play. I've learned it the hard way.”

But beneath his rough voice, I thought I heard something else. Vulnerability. He was holding himself together by brute force.

“Please don't do this,” I said tearfully. “Don't.”

Edward looked down at me almost wistfully. “We both know you haven't been happy in London. It was just a matter of time.”

I couldn't argue with that, no matter how much I wished I could. As I stood beside the enormous bed where he'd given me such pleasure in the darkness, every night for the past two months, I felt Edward's emotional and physical withdrawal, as plainly as if someone had pulled a coat off my body. I hadn't even realized it had been wrapped around my shoulders until it was suddenly gone and I felt the chill blast of winter.

Reaching into the closet, he pulled out my old suitcase. Tossing it on our bed, he calmly started dumping my clothes into it. As I watched him, aghast, he finished packing in just three minutes. “If I've missed anything, I'll have it sent to you in California.”

“You're tossing me out.”

His eyes held no expression. “I'm saying goodbye.”

But I still hadn't told him my secret—our precious, precious secret, due in September. “Wait. We still have to talk.” I took a deep breath and tried desperately, “There's something more I have to tell you—”

“We've talked,” Edward said. “And now we're done.” Going to the window, he opened the blinds and looked out at the elegant street, dark and quiet with all the expensive townhouses tucked in for the night, sleeping cheek by jowl in the moonlight. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Edward called his driver. Hanging up, he glanced back at me as if I were a stranger.

“Nathan will be here in five minutes to take you to the airport. My jet is at your disposal, and will take you back to where your dream career and dream man await.” His lips twisted. “Thank you for your assistance with my recovery.” Edward held out his hand. “I will be glad to recommend you to anyone who needs a physiotherapist in the future.”

Bewildered, I took his hand. He shook it once, briskly, as if we'd only just been introduced. He started to pull away. Desperately, I tightened my hand. “Come with me to California.”

His lips curved. “And what would I do there?”

“Whatever you want!”

He shook his head. “St. Cyr Global is headquartered in London. The company is my responsibility. I was born to it....”

“And you hate it,” I said tearfully. “Every single minute.”

He looked down at me, and an expression of pain crossed his eyes. “It was fun while it lasted, Diana,” he said quietly. “But there is no reason for us to ever see each other again.”

“No reason? Are you crazy? I just told you I loved you!”

His expression hardened. “Do you expect me to change my whole life for the sake of a few cheap words?”

“Cheap?” My knees trembled from the emptiness I felt inside. It suddenly threatened to devour me, with the help of its friends, grief and despair. “I want to be with you forever. I love you, Edward,” I whispered. “We could build a home together, a future.” I lifted my tearful gaze to his. “We could have a child—”

My throat closed when I saw him flinch.

“Sorry. What I want,” he said quietly, “is a clean break.” He closed my suitcase with a snap.

“But there can't be.” To my horror, my voice came out in a whimper. I wiped my eyes hard. “There will always be a connection between us now. Because you have to know that I...”

“For God's sake, stop it!”

“But I...”

“Not another word! If you won't go, I will.” I had a brief view of his pale, stricken face as he rushed past me. Then he was gone, disappearing through the door in a few strides of his long legs.

I stared after him in shock. I heard the echo of the front door slamming downstairs. I looked out the window, and numbly watched Edward disappear down the street, walking out of my life forever.

A sob came from the back of my throat. I leaned against the window, my hand outstretched across the cold glass. Edward hadn't even given me the chance to tell him about the baby. Just telling him I
loved
him had made him run.

Just as I'd always known it would. Though I'd tried so hard not to know.

Through the blur of my tears, I saw a black sedan silently pull up to the curb in front of the house. Nathan, coming to take me to the airport.

I finally understood why Edward had ended our relationship. Why he'd been so determined not to love me.

It was so he'd never have to feel like this.

“Are you ready, madam?” I heard the driver's voice at the door. “Shall I bring your suitcase down?”

My hand closed to a fist against the window. Turning slowly, I gave him a shake of my head. “I'll do it myself.”

“Very good, madam.”

Squaring my shoulders, I wiped my eyes. I'd thought I could teach Edward something about love. Instead, he'd taught me.

Love is a suckers' game. The only way to win is not to play.

With a deep breath, I picked up my suitcase. I'd never weep over Edward again, I vowed. All that mattered now was our baby. No.

My
baby.

CHAPTER SIX

“O
UT
HERE
AGAIN
?”

Looking up, I smiled when I saw my stepfather in front of the pink bougainvillea of the garden.

“I had the morning off,” I replied. “Jason's coming to pick me up in an hour.”

“Always so busy.” Howard gave a mock sigh. “I should have gotten you to work as a zombie when I had the chance.”

“Sorry.” My smile lifted to a grin. “You'll have to ask my agent now.”

The web series had been as good a launch as Jason had thought it would be. In just four-and-a-half months, I'd started to have a real career. I wasn't a movie star like Madison—not even close—but it turned out I had lots of friends who were anxious to see me succeed for no other reason than that they liked me. I had already expanded into commercials, doing character roles and bit parts on television shows. It was enjoyable at times, at other times mind-numbingly boring. If it wasn't quite the ecstatic dream I'd thought it would be, it at least had given me something to do after I left my real dream behind in London.

Or to be more accurate, he'd left me.

“Must be hard to be so popular,” Howard grumbled. Then, as he looked around, a smile spread across his tanned, wrinkled face. “You've made the garden come to life again. It's exactly how Hannah had it.”

“Thanks.” I leaned back on my haunches, brushing dirt off my gardening gloves as I surveyed the red and yellow roses. At nearly seven months' pregnant, my belly was so large now that I had to brace myself so I didn't lose balance and topple over.

For the past four-and-a-half months, since I returned to California, I'd lived in my childhood bedroom at Howard's house, a white colonial in Beverly Hills. Whenever I wasn't working, I spent time in my mother's old garden behind the house. In April, I'd enjoyed feeling the sunlight on my face, and now it was late July, I relished the cool shade.

I was home, I told myself. I didn't let myself think about Cornwall anymore, or how happy I'd been at Penryth Hall.

I looked up gratefully at my stepfather. “Thanks for letting me stay here so long. When I asked to visit, you had no idea I'd be moving in permanently,” I added, only half joking.

“Listen.” He reached out to pat my shoulder. “Every single day I have you here, with a grandbaby on the way, is a blessing.” Howard looked wistfully at the roses. “You've started a new career, a new life,” he said gruffly. “Your mother would have been so happy about the baby. And so proud of you, Diana.”

I felt a lump rise to my throat. “Thanks, Howard.”

Funny to think now that I hadn't always liked him. I hadn't wanted anyone to replace my dad, and the two men were so different. My dad had been quiet and studious, caring and careful. Howard Lowe was brash and loud, and never afraid to yell—especially at actors—or start a fight.

But beneath his bluster, Howard had loved my mother more than life, and he'd taken me under his wing from the beginning, when I was a sad eleven-year-old, bookish and quiet compared to his own daughter Madison, the result of his earlier short marriage to an actress.

Swallowing, I looked from the pinks and reds and yellows of the roses, to the more exotic flowers beneath wide cypress, pine and palm trees. “You've been so kind to me. I feel bad, with Madison giving you the silent treatment for it....”

He made a dismissive gesture. “Who's to say she is? She's busy in Mongolia. And if she's mad that I'm letting you stay here, she'll have to get over it. We're family.”

I shook my head. “She'll never forgive me for ruining her relationship with Jason.”

“Hush. If it was so easy to ruin, it wasn't much of a relationship.” He patted my arm. “I'm glad you're here, Diana. Don't rush into leaving. Especially with Jason Black. I don't think much about a man who keeps changing his mind which sister he wants to marry.”

“Howard, you know Jason and I are just friends!”

“Sure, I know that. I'm just not sure he does.”

I sighed. After we'd wrapped the web series, Jason had taken me out often, whenever he had time off from the superhero movie he was filming in Century City. After the scandal of last year, the paparazzi had a field day with this latest development, and they'd followed us constantly, photographing us doing boring things like drinking lattes at a café. Last week we'd been on the cover of multiple celebrity gossip magazines.
Madison Lowe Love Triangle
, one headline screamed.
Madison's Pregnant Stepsister Strikes Back with Baby Daddy Jason Black!

I'd writhed when I read it. So much for trying to avoid the paparazzi, and maintain a dignified silence.

“Just tell everyone it's mine,” Jason had urged. “It will be, after we're married.”

“We're not getting married, Jason,” I'd said, rolling my eyes. “We're friends. Just friends.”

But did he really accept that?

I sighed in irritation, remembering. “Love is a suckers' game,” I grumbled to Howard.

I suddenly realized who I was quoting. I didn't love Edward anymore. Instead, I'd become him.

“Okay, okay.” Howard held up his hands. “Whatever. I'm staying out of it. But look.” His expression turned ferocious, his gray eyebrows bushy and fierce. “I don't know what the deal was with your baby's father, or why you decided it would be a mistake to tell him about the pregnancy....”

“I don't want to—”

“Yeah, I know you don't like to talk about it. But take it from an old man. Life is short. It passes by in a blink. Even if the guy's every kind of jerk, he at least deserves a shot at knowing his kid.”

I wished I'd never told Howard so much. Edward had made me love him as I'd never loved anyone. He'd filled me with his child. He'd made me so happy.

But he hadn't wanted me. He hadn't wanted any of it. Love. Children. Happiness.

Bluebirds soared above my mother's garden, singing as they lifted higher into the cloudless blue sky. Something caught in my throat, and I looked away. “He told me he didn't ever want a child. I was doing him a favor.”

“People can change. Sometimes for better than you can imagine. He deserved the chance.” He looked at me and said softly, “Your mom would have said the same.”

I gave a soft gasp. Bringing Mom into it was punching below the belt.

Not that I actually had a belt anymore. Unthinkingly, I put my hand over my swelling body. It was a good thing that long dresses were in style, because now I was in my third trimester, none of my regular clothes fit me anymore. Not even the stretchiest yoga pants.

“He had his chance.” I slowly rose to my feet. “He threw my love back in my face. I'm not giving him the chance to do it to her.”

“He hurt you. I get it.” My stepfather's rheumy eyes met mine in the bright, unrelenting California sunshine. “But take advice from an old man who loves you. Grab your chance at love when you can. Because right now, you think there will be endless chances.” His throat caught. “There won't. You used to know that, until he turned you hard and cynical. When I think of the sweet kid you were, I'd like to punch Edward St. Cyr in the jaw.” His bushy gray eyebrows lowered ferociously. “If I ever meet him—”

The hinge of the garden gate squeaked. I looked up. “Jason—”

But it wasn't Jason. Looking across the dappled sunlight of the garden, my heart was suddenly in my throat.

Edward stood across the green grass, in front of the bright pink flowers. Sunlight illuminated his dark hair, and luminous, deep blue eyes.

“Is it true?” He lowered his gaze to my pregnant belly. “You're pregnant?”

My breath caught.

Edward took a step toward me, and another. His eyes devoured me, as if he'd been dreaming of me for months and could hardly believe I wasn't a dream now.

“Is it mine?” he said quietly. “Or Jason Black's?”

I trembled, my hands shaking.

“Yours,” Howard said helpfully.

I turned on him in outrage. “Howard!”

“Oh, c'mon.” He rolled his eyes. “It's not as if you were going to lie. At least not for long,” he amended, looking at me more closely.

“You're meddling,” I accused.

“I'm saving you some trouble. You can thank me later. Excuse me.” My stepfather walked toward the garden gate. He stopped in front of Edward. “About time you showed up.” He rubbed his jowly chin thoughtfully. “I actually owe you a punch in the jaw—”

“Howard!” I cried.

“Later,” he said hastily, glancing back at me, and he let himself out the gate. Leaving us alone.

Edward and I stared at each other across the soft green grass. He had a five-o'clock shadow on the hard edge of his jawline, and shadows beneath his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in days. And he'd never looked so beautiful to me. Never, ever.

Except I didn't care about him anymore. I didn't. And I wouldn't. I took a deep breath. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm here...” Edward seemed uncharacteristically uncertain. His gaze lowered to my belly, the shape of which was clearly visible beneath my cotton maxi dress. “I saw a picture of you online. The article said Jason Black was your boyfriend but...”

“I'm due in September.”

He did the math quickly in his head, then his lips twisted downward. “So I'm the father.”

I looked down at the grass, the color of emeralds, lush and spikey. “Sorry. Yes.”

He shook his head. “How is it possible? We were so careful—”

“Not careful enough, apparently.”

“You knew you were pregnant when you left London, didn't you?” His voice was deceptively quiet. “You knew, and you didn't tell me.”

“I did you a favor.”

“A favor?”

“You didn't want a child. You were very clear.” My teeth chattered with emotion. I wrapped my arms around my body, which was suddenly shivering in the bright July sunlight. “You didn't want a child, and you didn't want me.”

He came closer to me. “So you took your revenge?”

I shook my head fiercely. “I wanted to tell you about the baby. I tried! But the moment I told you I loved you, you ran out of the house in terror!”

He gritted his teeth. “Don't you
dare
try to—”

“You said you wanted a clean break!” In spite of my best efforts to stay calm, my voice was shrill. “You said you never wanted to see me again! I tried to tell you, but you ran out of the house rather than listen to me! Don't you remember?”

Edward sucked in his breath. Then he came closer in the dappled sunlight, until he stood inches away from me. “Is that why you turned to Jason—because I wouldn't listen?” He moved closer. “Or was he the one you really wanted all along?”

“I wanted you.” My voice was flat. “I told you. I was in love with you. I loved you as I'll never love anyone again.”

He blinked.

“Loved.”

“Past tense.” I shook my head. “Loving you nearly killed me. You rejected me. Abandoned me,” I whispered. “I couldn't bear for you to reject her, too.”

He exhaled, as if he were breathing toxic fumes. Then his eyes flew open. “
Her?
”

I nodded. “I'm having a little girl.”

His face filled with wonder and he reached towards me. “We're having a girl....”

I jerked back before he could touch me. “
We're
not. I am. I can support us now.” My eyes hardened. “We don't need you.”

Pain flashed across his handsome face, then the lines of his cheekbones and dark jawline tightened. “You're not even giving me a chance.”

“I tried that already.”

He gritted his teeth. “I didn't know you were pregnant.”

“You told me straight out you never wanted a child. Never. Never ever.”

“People can change.”

“What are you trying to say, Edward?” I clenched my hands at my sides. “Are you saying now I don't need you, now I don't even
want
you, you suddenly want to be part of our lives?” I tossed my head. “Forget it!”

His expression hardened. “Because you now have what you really wanted all along—an acting career, and Jason Black?”

“Leave him out of this!”

He set his jaw. “Has he asked you to marry him?”

I looked away.

“He has, hasn't he?” Edward's voice hit me like a blow. “So you could forgive him for sleeping with your stepsister? But not me for letting you go?”

“Look,” I said acidly, glaring at him. “I don't know what kind of spiritual breakdown you're going through—seems a little early for a midlife crisis, isn't it? But keep us out of it.”

“She's my daughter.”

“Just biologically.”

“
Just?
” he said incredulously.

“You can't be responsible for a houseplant. You said so yourself!”

“I could change.”

“Don't.”

My single cold word hung in the air between us. He took a deep breath, looking down at me.

“What happened to you, Diana?” he said softly.

I lifted my head. “Don't you know? Can't you tell? The naive woman you knew died in London.”

“Oh my God...” he whispered, reaching towards me. Wild-eyed, I backed away. He straightened, setting down his hands at his sides. “All right, Diana,” he said quietly. “All right.”

Blinking fast, willing myself not to cry, I walked away from him. My knees felt weak. I sank into a marble bench hidden amid a cool, shadowy copse of trees. But he followed, standing a few yards away.

I looked at him in the sunshine, in front of the brilliant colors of my mother's roses.

“You were right all along,” I said. “I should have listened to you when you tried to tell me. Love is a suckers' game.” I looked away. “The only way to win is not to play.”