Harlequin Presents January 2015 - Box Set 1 of 2: Sheikh's Desert Duty\Nine Months to Redeem Him\Fonseca's Fury\The Russian's Ultimatum (31 page)

“So?” He spoke without apology, and without explanation. As if he owed me neither. It made my heart turn to glass.

I took a deep breath. “Is it true she looked like me?”

His dark eyebrows lowered. “Victoria said that?”

“Yes.”

“She was guessing.” His lips creased in a humorless smile. “She never met Lena. But it happens she's wrong. You look nothing alike.”

I exhaled. Then I shivered.
Lena.
So that was the other woman's name. “What made you love her so much?”

His eyes narrowed. “Why do you keep pushing?”

“Because I...”

I froze.

Because I wanted to know what special quality this woman had had, that had made Edward love her so much, when he couldn't even love me a little. Had she been pretty? Had she been wise? Was it the sound of her voice or the scent of her perfume?

I wanted to know because at my deepest core, I yearned for him to love me the same way. I yearned for him to want to be with me. To stay with me. Raise a child with me.

I was in love with him, and wanted him to love me back.

My infatuation with Jason had been nothing, a schoolgirl crush, compared to what I felt for Edward, the man I'd healed, the man I'd shared a home with, the man who'd teased me and encouraged me and demanded I follow my dreams. The man who'd taken my virginity and shown me what physical love could be. The man whose child I now carried deep inside me.

I was in love with Edward.

Desperately.

Stupidly.

“Diana?”

I took a deep breath. “I was just curious, that's all.” I gave him a weak smile. “After hearing Victoria talk about her. What made Lena so different?”

“Different?” Moonlight from the window caught the edge of his face, leaving his eyes in shadow. “Lena wasn't different. She was ordinary, really. But she acted helpless, as if I were the only one who could save her. She made me think...I could be her hero.” His cruel, sensual lips twisted up at the edges. “Me. Isn't that hilarious? But I almost believed it. I took care of her for months, asking nothing in return. Until she suddenly left me for the Spanish bastard who'd abandoned and betrayed her.”

“That's it? She acted helpless?”
I could be helpless,
I thought wildly. I felt helpless right now, looking at him, fearing there was nothing I could do to make him love me or want our baby.

He shrugged. “I thought I deserved her. That I'd earned her.”

I blinked. “You can't
earn
someone's love. That's not how it works.”

He gave a harsh laugh. “I've heard the words
I love you
from so many women...”

“You have?” I whispered. No one had ever spoken those words to me, except for my family.

“...but words are meaningless. Cheap. Women have said it after they've only known me a few hours—in bed. They barely knew
me
at all. They were just trying to trap me, to make me do something I didn't want to do. To
own
me.”

“You mean, make you commit?”

“Exactly.” He gave me a crooked grin, then looked away. “But I always imagined love to be an action, not a word. If I loved someone, I wouldn't say it, I'd show it. I'd take care of her, putting her needs ahead of my own. I'd put my whole soul into making her happy....” He cut himself off with a harsh laugh, clawing back his hair. “But what the hell do I know? I've never found love like that. So I gave up on it. And I've been happier ever since.”

“I don't believe that,” I said softly, looking at the stark emotion in his eyes. “I'm sorry that woman hurt you, but you can't live the rest of your life closed off from love.”

“You're wrong,” he said flatly.

Clutching my hands into fists at my sides, I whispered, “Do you still love her?”

He choked out a laugh. “
Love
her? No. It all seems a million years ago. I was a different person then. I'm leaving them to it. The Duke and Duchess of Alzacar are happy together, with their fat, happy baby, happily married in their big castle in happy, happy Spain. I wish them every happiness.”

His voice had an edge to it. A darkness. I searched his handsome face. “You're sorry you tried to kidnap her...Aren't you?”

“I'm sorry I ever let myself care in the first place,” he said coldly. “I should have known better than to think I could be any woman's hero. It's not in my nature. Now...I know who I am. Selfish to the core. And glad. My life is completely within my control.”

Looking up at him, my glass heart broke into a thousand shards, each of them sharp as ice. “So you'll never have a wife—no child—no family of any kind?”

“I told you from the beginning,” he said harshly. “Those are things I do not want. Not now. Not ever.” With a deep breath, he took a step toward me. Gently, he cupped my cheek with his hand. “But I do want this.
You
. We can enjoy each other. For as long as the pleasure lasts.”

His palm was warm and rough against my cheek, and I suddenly felt like crying. “It could be more. You have to know—”

He was already shaking his head grimly. “Don't do this to me, Diana. Let this be enough. Don't ask for more than I can give. Please. I'm not ready to let you go. Not yet—”

Pulling me tight against his hard-muscled body, he kissed me passionately in the shadowy stairwell of the Kensington townhouse.

I knew I should stop him, to force him to listen, to tell him the two things that were causing such anguish—joy, terror, desperate hope—in my heart.

I loved him.

I was pregnant with his baby.

But I was scared the moment I told him, our relationship would end. He'd see me and the child I carried both as unwanted entanglements. Because he'd already made up his mind about what he wanted. And what he didn't want.

He wasn't going to change.

Holding him tightly, I returned his kiss. Tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks, adding salt to the taste. His lips gentled as he pressed me back against the wall of the stairwell. My head fell back as he kissed down my throat. I gasped, trembling, caught between desire and the agony of a breaking heart. How could I realize I loved him, only to lose him the same night? Blood rushed in my ears like a rhythmic buzz.

Edward pulled away with a curse, and I realized the buzz was actually his phone ringing. But who would call him so late? A business emergency? A secretary?

A mistress?

No. Surely not. But we'd never promised fidelity. He'd promised only pleasure.

“It's not me,” he said shortly, looking at his phone.

Frowning, I reached down for my tiny purse that had dropped to the floor, and saw it was actually my new phone ringing. But other than Edward, the only person who knew the number was my stepfather, who'd just wrapped up production in New Mexico.

I stared down at the caller ID.

“It's Jason,” I breathed.

“Black?” Edward's scowl deepened. “Why is he calling you?”

“I have no idea.”

“Has he done it before?” he bit out, almost unwillingly.

I shook my head. “Something must be wrong... Oh my God.” Images of Howard or Madison hurt flashed in front of my terrified eyes. Turning away, I answered anxiously, “Jason?”

“Diana?”

“Why are you calling me?”

“I'm in California... I got the number from Howard.”

“What's happened? Is someone hurt?”

“Yeah. Someone's hurt.”

I held my breath.

“I am,” he said quietly. “I made a horrible mistake.”

I frowned. “What do you mean, you made a mistake?”

Edward had been glowering beside me. But at this, he turned on his heel without a word. I watched him stalk up the staircase. Was he mad at me for answering a call in the middle of our kiss? But that wasn't fair. He was the one who'd picked up his phone first.

“I shouldn't have cheated on you,” Jason said on the phone. “I should have known we'd get caught. Even at night, there's always people around the Eiffel Tower. I have so many regrets. I should have...” His voice trailed off. “You know Madison and I broke up.”

“I know,” I said gently.

He exhaled. “Is there any way you can ever forgive me?”

“Sure.”

He paused. “Really?”

I realized somewhat to my own surprise that I'd forgiven and forgotten long ago. The way I felt for Edward now, all the angst over Jason seemed a million years ago. It didn't matter. As Edward had said—I was a different person then.

“I forgave you a long time ago....” I said quietly.

“Oh?” he said hopefully.

“Because I'm in love with Edward now.”

“Oh,” he sighed.

I changed the subject. “But is there any chance that you and Madison...?”

“Nah. She disappeared to India when we broke up. Now I heard she's in Mongolia doing some independent film, out on some steppe in the middle of nowhere, no makeup trailer, no catering, getting paid at scale.”

“Seriously?” That didn't sound like her at all.

“Crazy, right? Must be a nervous breakdown or something. At least, that's what I suggested when I was interviewed last week for
People
magazine.”

He was giving interviews about Madison, suggesting she'd had a nervous breakdown? I didn't approve of that at all. I thought of Edward, waiting for me upstairs. “If that's all you called about...”

“No. Here's why I called. I'm costarring on a web series. It's just a side project, a spin-off to promote my movie sequel coming out next summer. But the lead actress just ducked out an hour ago to go back to rehab.” He paused. “I thought of you.”

“You...what?” I said faintly.

“Don't get too excited. The pay is next to nothing. But the movie has a large cult following, and good visibility. So even though it's just on the web, it could help you get the attention of agents....”

As he continued to speak, I stood in the dark foyer, swaying. I felt lightheaded.

“...and you wouldn't even have to audition. I have that much pull, at least.” He paused. “Diana? You still there?”

“I just can't believe it,” I whispered. My hand tightened on the phone. “You're calling out of nowhere to offer me my dream job?”

“Dream job?” He laughed “Oh man. If a shoestring web series is your dream, you need bigger dreams.” He added apologetically, “It's not glamorous, either. The character is pregnant. You'd need to wear padding....”

I put my hand against the wall to brace myself. “Are you kidding?”
Pregnant?
Was it fate telling me to go? I said almost tearfully, “Why are you doing this?”

“Well, I owe you, Diana,” he said quietly. “After all I put you through, it seemed the least I could do. Plus,” he added, “I'd rather work with you than some no-name nobody. Will you come?”

I thought again of Edward upstairs, waiting for me, and my heart twisted. “I'm not sure....”

“I understand,” he said dryly. “Edward doesn't seem like the California type.” He paused. “It's up to you. But if you can get here within two days, the role is yours.”

When I hung up the phone, the house was silent and dark. Mrs. Corrigan had gone to bed long ago, before we even got home from the party. It was the first time I'd been downstairs like this, with Edward up in our bedroom. Usually I was the one to sleep alone.

California. The memory of home came back to me. Sunshine. The ocean. The scent of roses in my mother's garden. I could have my dream job there, with my friends and family around me, raising my baby....

Except this wasn't just my baby. It was
our
baby. And no matter how scared I was, I had to tell Edward about it. I had to at least give him the chance to be part of our lives. And tell him I loved him. Right now.

But as I slowly went up the stairs, my heart was in my throat.

A baby
. I gripped the slender oak handrail as I climbed, each shaking step echoing across the dark house.
A sweet, precious baby
. Would he be a little boy with Edward's eyes? An adorable little girl with his smile?

Then I remembered my promise.

This is all I can give you,
he'd said.
No marriage. No children. All I can offer is—this.
Do you agree?

An ache lifted to my throat. I was kidding myself if I thought Edward would be happy about this. He didn't want my
love.
He didn't want my
child.
He wanted convenient sex, and to leave if it got complicated.

I covered my mouth with my hand.
Please let him be happy about my news. Give me the chance to show him how to love again....

My legs shook as I walked down the dark hallway. I stopped at our bedroom door.

“You've kept me waiting.” Edward's voice was accusing from the shadows. “Come to bed, Diana.”

Come to bed
. I swallowed. Clenching my trembling hands at my sides, I went forward.

As my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the bedroom, I saw the large shape of him, lying on the bed. His long legs were crossed, his arms folded beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He was still fully clothed in his tuxedo, with only his tie loosened.

“How is Jason?” he said coldly, still staring up at the ceiling.

I stopped. The two men were not exactly close friends. More like rivals, really, though I had no idea what they might be rivals about. I said haltingly, “He's all right.”

“I bet.” With a low laugh, Edward sat up on the bed. He turned to face me. The hard lines of his body and face were in shadow, but I saw the glitter of his eyes. “So he made a big mistake, did he?”

“He felt bad about cheating on me,” my voice stumbled awkwardly, “so he called me to offer me a role. It's nothing big, just a web series. But I can have the role without having to audition, as long as I'm there in two days.”