Hardcore: Volume 2 (8 page)

They stopped and turned to me. “There’s no way we could have stopped them.”

“We never should have been here in the first place.”

“But we were. What else were we supposed to do?
You
told me to take the money!”

“Because they would have killed us, you stupid bitch. And for what?” The trembling worked through my entire body until I was vibrating. “This was
your
idea.
You
did this. You were willing to betray so much for this. Betray
everything
. Was it worth it?” I screamed, and her face bent in and anger.

“Shut the fuck up, Cory!” She half cried the words.

“Fuck you.” The energy burst out of me, and I ran full-sprint, slamming my hands into her shoulders with all my weight. She hit the ground and rolled as I walked behind her, pulling my gun without thinking.
 

I stopped, looming over her, emotions battering me like angry waves. I blamed her for every single one, counted them out in my mind as I stared down the barrel at her. Her eyes were wide with fear and recognition, and no one moved, no one breathed. My finger flexed by a hair against the trigger, feeling the tension against my skin. It would be so easy, just one soft squeeze and the source of my pain would be gone.
 

But that wouldn’t make it better. Wouldn’t make it right. It wouldn’t change the past.

I spun around and took off running. Ran until my feet ached and my muscles burned, climbed until sweat soaked my clothes. I found myself on a rooftop, staring out over Manhattan in the night. The lights of the city stretched off into the distance, a wedge cut by the dark streaks that marked the rivers.
 

It was finally was over. And nothing was worth the price I’d paid to get through it.

Dawn had begun to creep in by the time I got back to the quiet loft. No one was awake, and there were no signs of the twins, which was lucky for all of us. I had no idea what I would do to them if they made the mistake of showing their faces right now.

I dragged myself to the shower like a dead woman, an empty shell. Thoughts drifted through my mind like tendrils of smoke, and every time I tried to touch one, it would dissipate and the next waited to taunt me.

Sleep would reset me. It had to.

I dried off and shuffled into Erin’s room as the sun began to rise, painting the room golden, though the shadows were rich and deep. She stirred when I opened the door, then sat up fast.

“Cory?”

“Hey.” My voice cracked along with my numbness at the sound of my name, the proximity of someone I knew would understand. She was maybe the only person in the world who would understand. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Come here,” she urged.

I crawled into her bed, and she held me while I let all the hurt out. For hours I’d been running all over the city, trying to make sense of it all, trying to hold myself together. But I came unglued, breathing through shuddering sobs. The night replayed in bursts, cycling through again and again until the tears slowed, then finally stopped.

After a long while, Erin broke the silence. “What happened?”

My voice was raspy, my throat dry. “It was horrible, Erin. Fucking horrible. Every second in his house and every minute after. And then when we made the drop, they double-crossed us.”

“Jesus, Cory,” she breathed.

“Yeah. Jade’s big plans for millions were a pipe dream. We got held up. He gave us half a million and told us to fuck off.”

Erin was quiet for a second as she processed what I’d said, and I stared at her collarbone, not needing an answer. “I can’t even. I have no words.”
 

“Me either, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if there
is
anything to do. I was so angry at her, Erin. So, so angry. I pulled my gun on her and …” I swallowed hard. “I almost did it. I thought really hard about it.”

“She’s not worth it.”

“None of this is. I’ve lost so much, and so much has changed, just like that. I’m left wondering who I am. What have I become? I’m a monster.”

“No.” She cupped my face. “No, Cory. This is not your fault. All you can do is start over. We’ll figure all of this out.”

My breath hitched against the pain in my chest. “I don’t want to think. I don’t want to hurt, Erin.” I slipped my hands around her waist and pulled her closer, our hips flush as our legs wound around each other. “I don’t want to feel.”

She brushed my wet hair from my face, and her eyes searched mine. “I know.”

“Make me forget.” A hot tear slipped down my cheek.

She nodded and kissed me, her lips slow and easy against my own, her body warm as she pressed against me, knowing exactly what I needed. I focused every thought on her hands as she touched me, but when I closed my eyes, his face was right there, leaving me breathless.

I opened them to banish him, watching Erin kiss down my chest. My eyes were on her lips as she closed them around my nipple through my tank and sucked, sliding her hands up underneath as I shuddered under her touch. She lifted the hem of my shirt over my breasts, trailing her fingers around the curves before palming them. She squeezed hard as she kissed down my stomach, looking up to meet my eyes.

She parted her lips when she reached my clit, locked her mouth over me and sucked hard enough to make my legs tremble. She ran her tongue up my slit slowly, top to bottom, bottom to top, slipping a finger inside when she reached my clit again, and my hips rolled against her. Her free hand cupped my breast with my nipple caught between her fingers, and when she closed them and pulled, a shock shot down my body, between my thighs, straight to her mouth.

I couldn’t close my eyes again, just watched Erin push every button, knowing exactly how to make me come, sending my pulse racing with every touch until I arched off the bed. My aching heart stopped for a long, merciful moment, lungs frozen as my body let go. I begged my heart to do the same.

I didn’t realize I was crying, not until Erin and I were wound around each other again. She kissed my hair, told me I would be all right, that I would survive.

And I would survive. I just didn’t know if I wanted to anymore.

I WOKE WHEN ERIN tightened the arm curled around my waist, pulling me into her. The warmth of her body, the feeling of her knees against the back of mine was a small comfort against the ice in my chest. I nestled back into her.

“Hey,” she said sleepily.

“Hey.”

“Did sleep help?”

My body was stiff as I rolled over to face her, but I felt better, rested. “A little.” Jade blew through my thoughts, and my heart jolted. “Do you think she’s here?”

“I don’t know.” She reached for her phone and squinted at it. “It’s almost twelve. If I were her, I wouldn’t show my face until I was ready to handle the heat.”

“So, never?”

Erin laughed. “If only we could be so lucky.”

If only.
“I don’t even know what to do with any of this, Erin. But I need to see Jade. I need to know she’s going to leave Jill alone.”

“And let you go.”

“She doesn’t have a choice. I’m done with this.”

Sympathy settled in behind her eyes. “I wonder what happened to Van.”

I pictured him walking in and finding it gone after a night that was meant to celebrate him, saw him staying up all night with the police, staring at his ceiling, unable to sleep after someone had violated his home. I wondered how violated he’d feel if he knew it was me.

I took a breath. “I hope he’s okay.”

“He will be, and so will you.”

Morgan laughed from the kitchen, and Erin smiled. “Jade isn’t here or no one would be laughing.”

I chuckled, but my smile slipped away. “I’ve got to tell them what happened.”

Erin sat and nodded. “Better now than when Jade’s here.” She stood and walked to her dresser to dig out leggings for herself and clothes for me, tossing them on the bed. “Let’s get something to eat and you can spill.”

I shrugged on a loose, black tank. “I’m so over it, Erin. Fucking for real. Morgan is going to lose her shit.”

“Probably,” she said, hanging a hand on her hip as she waited for me to pull on sleep shorts and get out of bed. “This is all going to be over eventually, but it’s like an earthquake. You’re dealing with aftershocks. Just keep hanging on.”

I tried to smile, and she didn’t ask me for more agreement than that as she opened the door. We made our way to the kitchen where Cher and Morgan sat at the table over sandwiches. Their faces tightened at the sight of me, and Cher stood and met me halfway with a hug.

“Are you okay?” she asked into my hair.

“I will be.”

She backed away and looked up at me with velvety brown eyes. “Want a bite to eat?”

I nodded, and Cher patted my arm, turning for the kitchen. Erin and I sat on the bench at the table, exchanging glances as Morgan leaned on the surface.

“What happened?” Worry creased her brow.

“We got the painting, and when we made the drop, they gave us a fraction of what they promised Jade and Jace.”
 

“Oh my God.” Cher had spun around and was staring.

“Yup.” I nodded. “They pulled a gun on us, and one of them put Jace on his ass. For a minute …” My eyes slipped out of focus, remembering the feeling of standing there with our lives in limbo. I blinked it away. “I don’t know. For a second, I didn’t know if we’d make it out. The whole thing was stupid. It was a stupid risk for a stupid price.”

Morgan shook her head. “Except you’re really the only one who paid.”

“Well, it’s over now. Have you seen her yet?”

“She wasn’t here when we got up. We’ve been hanging around all morning waiting for you to wake up so we could find out how it went.”

“It was a shit show. But we got in and out of Van’s without any trouble.” I sighed and looked down at the wood grain of the table. “Walking into his apartment with Jade last night was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever done. There’s no coming back from that.”

“Not true.” Erin glanced at me, looking tentative.

I folded my arms on the table and shook my head. “Pretty sure it’s completely true.”

“You could always return the painting.”

I snorted. “Right, sure.”

“I’m serious, Cor, I haven’t stopped thinking about this, and now that the job is done, everything has changed.” she pressed. “Look, I respected your wishes, even though I didn’t agree. Now we have an option.
 
Jade fucked up, Jace fucked up. You got fucked. So take it back and tell him the truth.”

“Because it’s that easy.” I gaped at her. “I don’t doubt that they would have shot all three of us in that parking lot last night if we’d even considered fighting back. And you’re suggesting that I singlehandedly break into a warehouse guarded by thugs, steal a multi-million dollar painting, and then what? Knock on Van’s door and be like, ‘Here’s that Rothko back. Sorry I stole it from you. Kiss me.’”

“I know it’s dangerous—”

“No, it’s stupid. And it’s pointless.”

“You don’t have to do it alone. I’ll help you get it back.”

Morgan and Cher exchanged a look before turning to me. “We’re in, too,” Morgan said.

The whole thing was ridiculous, and I looked them over, incredulous. “Guys, I wouldn’t let you help steal it from Van. Why do you think I’d put you in this kind of danger?”

Morgan shook her head. “This is so fucked up on so many levels, and you’ve carried the weight of all of it. We wanted to help you from the start. We haven’t stopped trying to find a way out of this for you, for Jill and Van. We only stepped back because you asked us to.”

“Well, I’m asking you again. This isn’t worth you getting caught.”

“Look, Cor, we know where the painting is, at least for a few days. We can get it back. Fuck Jade, and fuck those cocksuckers who screwed you over.” Morgan dug in her heels. “We’ve been doing this for years. Breaking in is second nature, and if things get hot, we know how to get the fuck out.”

“No. We’re not doing this. It’s too dangerous.”

Erin squared her shoulders. “If it were easy, if we could get in and get out low impact, would you consider it?”
 

Cher abandoned half-made sandwiches to sit down next to Erin, and the three of them leaned toward me, boxing me in. I pressed my damp palms against my thighs.

“There is no ‘easy’ here, Erin. There’s no simple way to go about any of it. We steal the painting back, they’re coming after Jade, and by proxy, me. And for what? For me to take this back to Van so he can call the cops and send me to jail?”

“Do you really think he’ll do that?”

“I have to assume he would.”

“What if we set the warehouse up? Call the cops?”

“No way will that work. The cops show up, they guys smile and act like it’s no big deal. A crank call.”

“But what if we forced their hand?”

“How?”

Erin folded her arms. “Pull the fire alarm in the warehouse.”

I shook my head. “That isn’t enough. No one takes pull boxes seriously. How many kids pull those hoping to see a fire truck?”

“Well, what
do
they take seriously?”

I couldn’t even believe I was entertaining the idea. “Sprinklers. Even if there’s no fire, the sprinklers dump twenty-five gallons a minute or something crazy like that, and they won’t stop until someone shuts off the water main. Each sprinkler is connected to an alarm. All it would take is to break one and the fire department won’t give up until they confirm it’s off. But that doesn’t mean that they’ll think twice about anything stored there. They won’t necessarily call the cops.” I sighed. “There’s no way this can work, and if we try to ruin a couple of fence’s setup, everything gets exponentially worse for us. They’re not going to let this go.”