Hardcore: Volume 2 (2 page)

“We would just fuck ourselves,” I said. “We turn her in, we may as well turn ourselves over, too. There’s only one way out of this. I do the job, and when it’s over, we all walk away from her. Until then, we just need to ride it out.”

Morgan wasn’t having it. “Are you so sure she’s going to leave you alone?” She shook her head. “I don’t think you should cave, Cory. I think you need to fight.”

“But if I fight and lose, what’s the price that I’ll pay? Because I already feel like I’ve paid enough.” No one had a response. “Jade’s done with me, and I’m done with her. She’ll find someone else to push around, someone who doesn’t talk shit. But me? She wants me out. Just not until I do this for her.”

Morgan stood, pushing the chair back with a jarring scrape. “I don’t like this.” She paced around the room.
 

“Me either, but what other choice do I have?”

She chewed on her thumbnail as she walked the length of the kitchen.
 

Erin rubbed her face, pausing to press the pads of her fingers into her eyes. “Do you have any sort of plan?”

My headache drummed a little harder. “I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

I waved her off. “It’s okay. There’s roof access that I can use to get into his building. I’ll have to knock out the security cameras and pick the lock on his door, but it won’t be hard to get in.”

“Are you taking Jade?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Do you really think she’ll let me go alone?”
 

“Probably not.” Erin bit her lip. “She doesn’t need you to be there as long as you get her the information. Could you just tell her what she needs to know to do the job herself?”

Erin wasn’t going to let it go, so I conceded, certain it was futile. “I can try.”

“What are you going to do about Van?”

My stomach twisted so tight at the sound of his name, I almost doubled over. “I have to end it. It’s the only way. He can’t know the truth about the painting, and I won’t steal from him and then lie about it.” The empty space of my apathy filled with sorrow as I realized the truth of my situation, realizing what I would actually have to do. I pictured myself ending it with Van, saw myself taking that painting off his wall and giving it to a bunch of thugs for money. Emotion rolled through me.

“Maybe Van could help you, if you’d just tell him. Maybe we could frame Jade.”

I shook my head, trying to push the hurt away. “He’s too straight for that, too good.”

“You can’t assume you know anything about what he would or wouldn’t do. Isn’t telling him better than not saying anything?”

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t expect him to be on board with something like this, especially after finding out I was planning on stealing from him. Why would he give me a second chance? Because if it were me, I would think, ‘Wow, that chick turned out to be a crazy bitch.’ And then I’d call the cops and walk away.”

“What if he doesn’t want to walk away?”

I huffed and pushed my plate away. “Don’t be stupid, Erin.”

“You’re not even giving him a choice,” she pressed. “You’re making the choice for him because you’re scared, and that’s not fair to either of you.”

“I just don’t believe that there’s any reality that exists where he would take a chance on me after all of this.” The words were the honest truth, but they left my dry, tight lips with pain in their wake.

She shook her head. “And
I
don’t believe that’s the real reason. You’re afraid he’ll reject you, and this is easier than facing that. You’d rather end it with him thinking you’re just a bitch instead of finding out you’re a thief.”

I sucked in a breath as the truth seared through me.

Erin softened her voice at my reaction, though not enough to be considered cajoling. “Maybe he won’t handle it like you’re afraid he will. Isn’t it worth the risk?”
 

I crossed my arms and breathed deep, burying the sting of her words. “You don’t know him, Erin.”

“Neither do you,” she shot back.

My cheeks were hot, my voice edging frantic as I stood and pressed my palms to the table. “That’s my point.
 
Just stop. Stop it. I don’t want to talk about it, okay? It’s not a big deal, and it’s over.”

She huffed, shaking her head at me. “You’re a goddamn liar, Cory.”

“Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do?” I stared her down through a curtain of tears. “Tell me! What?”

The silence hung over us.

“Exactly. So fucking drop it.” The words wavered.
 

Pity radiated off of the three of them, and I pushed away from the table, not wanting it.

I’d taken two steps when the metal warehouse door opened with a scrape, and I looked back to find Jade standing in the threshold. Fire blew through me at the sight of her, and I felt my losses, felt her power over me. All I wanted was to take that power back.
 

And that was when all hell broke loose.

I charged her, the room loud as everyone scrambled in the chaos. I had almost reached her when Erin grabbed me around the waist.
 

I roared, straining against her arms.

No one held Morgan back. She bared her teeth and arched over Jade, grabbed her by the shirt and twisted a handful. Jade slammed her in the shoulders, but Morgan barely budged. The only real movement was her fist as it pulled back and released like a spring. Jade’s head snapped back, and she screamed, clutching her nose as Cher squeezed her way between them. Everyone was shouting as Cher somehow wrangled Morgan away, and Erin whispered in my ear to calm down, to let her go. That it wasn’t the time. My pounding head agreed, but the rest of me wasn’t hearing it.

Erin screamed over her shoulder, “Get the fuck out of here, Jade. Now.”

I struggled against Erin. “I will fucking kill you, you bitch. Let me go, Erin. LET ME GO.”

But Jade only stood there, staring me down. She wiped the blood from her red nose with a fucked up smile on her face before she walked out of the loft.

Erin loosened her grip, and I shook her off, spun around, and flew to my room.

My trembling hands closed the door to my room before slipping into bed. The thundering in my head was loud enough that it was all I could hear, and my entire body pulsed to the beat of my heart. I squeezed my eyes shut as sweat beaded on my forehead, and I sucked in a deep breath through my nose.

My equilibrium was fucked, but at least my body would heal.
 

The components of my life had been stacked into a rickety tower of bad decisions that had hit the tipping point. Everything was falling in slow motion, and it was only a matter of time before it hit the ground. I couldn’t fathom how I was going to get through, and as I lay in my cold, quiet room, trying not to vomit, the clock ticked down the seconds to the time when it was over. I just wished I knew when that would be.

Jade.
Rage flowed at the thought of her name.
 

A quick knocked popped, and Erin opened the door, looking wired.
 

I said nothing.

She closed the door and sat next to me. I stared at the pipes.

“What can I get you?”

“Jade.”

“We will. But let’s start with making sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. None of us are. I hope to God she doesn’t come back until we’ve all had time to cool down. The last thing you need is to get in another fight.”

“I don’t know what else to say, Erin. I don’t know what else I can do.”

She rubbed her face. “There has to be some way out of this.” Her statement was earnest, and as much as I wanted it to be true, it just wasn’t.
 

“Yeah, well when you figure it out, let me know.”

We sat in silence for a moment, and she shifted to lie down next to me.
 

“What are we going to do when she comes back?” I asked. “Because I know what I
want
to do. And now I’m supposed to do this job with her? I’m going to fucking kill her. There’s no way I can get through this.”

“No, not right now. Hopefully she stays gone so we can figure out what to do.”

“There’s nothing to figure out. We’ve just got to calm down. All of us.”

Erin snorted. “Good luck explaining that to Morgan. I’m sure she’s sharpening her shiv as we speak.”

“Maybe we should find somewhere else to stay until this is over. Just leave Jade here. I don’t want you all involved in this.”

“Too late. Jade already dragged us into it. I blame her for everything.”

I cracked a tiny smile at the exaggeration. “Everything?”

“Everything. The leaky faucet in the bathroom. Starving children in Africa. As far as I’m concerned, she’s the embodiment of everything that’s wrong in the world.”

“She’s lost her fucking mind, but if I hadn’t met Van, none of this would have happened.”

“Don’t say that.”

I turned to face her, staring at her collarbone, or trying to. My eyes kept slipping out of focus. “It would have been easier for everyone if I hadn’t. But I did, and now we’re all paying for it. It’s like I stepped on a land mine and now the entire brigade is punched full of shrapnel. All that’s left of me is dust.”

She looked me over. “We’re all going to be okay, including you.” She touched my chin, urging me to look at her. “This isn’t your fault. It’s
her
fault. Maybe partly my fault.”

“Your fault?”

“If I hadn’t mentioned the painting, Jade would have never known.”

I shook my head. “The second she figured out he was rich, she would have tried to exploit it.” I took a deep breath. “I have to forget about Van and do this job. We’re from different worlds. It never would have worked out.”

“Cory—”

“No, really. It’s better to end it now.”

Erin sighed. “When are you going to see him?”

I still wouldn’t meet her eyes. “As soon as possible.”

“Has he texted you?”

The knot in my stomach tightened. “I don’t even know where my phone is.”

Her brow furrowed as she got up. “I think it’s in the kitchen. Let me grab it.”

Erin left and returned a few seconds later with my phone in her hand. She passed it over.

A text waited on my lock screen from Van, and I opened my messages to read the entire thing.

If you’re thinking of me a fraction of the time I’m thinking about you, I’ll be a happy man. When can I see you again?

My eyes stung, and I bit down hard on my lip as I texted him back.

What’s your day like tomorrow?

“Fuck all of this, Erin,” I said as I waited for his response.

Her eyes were sad. My phone buzzed.

Wide open, now that you asked. Want to meet at my place around 10?

Sure. See you then.

I tossed my phone like it was on fire. It buzzed again, but I couldn’t even look.

I traced the pipes with my eyes like I had a million times, as if there were answers tangled up somewhere in them. “I can’t do this, and I can’t
not
do this.”
 

Her eyes were on me, but I wouldn’t meet them. “If you’re determined that this is the only way—”

“I am.”

She sighed. “Well, then you only have to see him once more before you can move on.”

I rolled over to face her. “How did I get here? How did I get to this fucked up place?”

Erin pushed my hair back over my shoulder and tucked a lock behind my ear. “One foot in front of the other. Same way that you’ll get out of it.” Erin looked over me for a long moment. “I’m sorry, Cory.”

I tried to smile. “One foot in front of the other.”

She wrapped me in her arms, and I shifted, closing my eyes, wishing I could make it disappear.
 

THE FLORESCENT LIGHTS IN the loft’s bathroom buzzed over me the next morning as I leaned against the counter, staring at my reflection. The paleness of my skin against the black of my hair was shocking, and my eyes were bloodshot, even though I’d slept most of the day before. The lights seemed to suck the color out of everything. I looked as gray and tired as I felt.

I’d woken at some point in the middle of the night, having slept through the entire day. I lay in my quiet room in the small hours of the morning with my mind on the tangled mess of my life until the blue shades of night shifted to purples, through the oranges and yellows of dawn. But I found no answers in the cracks and piping over my bed. There were no answers to find.

I couldn’t fight back because I was scared of what would happen if I did. I couldn’t predict what Jade would do. She was a loose cannon full of rusty nails. And as strong as everyone thought I was, it was a lie. I was more afraid than any of them. And Van was just another person I would hurt along the way.

But there was no time to mourn. Today marked the first step toward betraying him.

He shouldn’t have mattered to me. I shouldn’t have cared. But I did. I told myself it was just infatuation, a glorified idea of who he was, a sick crush fueled by hormones that made it so hard to walk away from him. Maybe it was that I’d finally opened that forgotten window to my heart and let in an emotional avalanche. Maybe it was the fact that he was the closest thing to perfect that I’d ever known, or that he made me want to be more than I was.