Hard To Love (15 page)

“Don’t touch me!” she squealed as he reached for her hand.

Carter’s expression changed from surprise, to anger, to something Ella couldn’t comprehend. Maybe it was hurt or pain?

“El?” he questioned softly, with a wounded look in his eyes, before looking around to see all eyes trained on them.

Carter’s eyes flicked to Gabe. Reading Carter’s thoughts, he diverted Liv’s and Alana’s attention. “Hey ladies, would you mind giving me a hand. I need to wrap this ankle and ice it down.”

“Oh shit! I’m sorry, Gabe. Let me help you,” Liv exclaimed.

Turning back to face Ella, Carter calmly asked, “Have I given you any reason to not trust me?”

“No,” she responded, sullenly.

“Last time I touched you, did I make you feel like you were cheap, inconsequential or insignificant?”

“No.” Ella dropped her head shamefully, thinking back to the way he had worshipped her body the last time they had sex, feeling more like they had made love.

“And when I told Gabe to move his hands, did it sound like I was okay with his hands being on you? That I wanted to share what was mine?”

Ella’s breath caught. He thought she was his? “No, but,” she protested, before Carter placed his index finger on her lips to quiet her, warning her with a raised eyebrow.

“So, to answer your question,” he spoke softly, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear, dragging his knuckle intimately down the side of her jawline. “Yes. In the past, Gabe and I have shared women. But, for the record sweetness, you’re the first woman I’ve ever cared enough about to not want to. And, I’ve already told you. I don’t want any man besides me touching you.”

Heat crept up Ella’s face as embarrassment flooded her. Carter had bent over backwards to show her she could trust him. Now, she wondered if she would ever be capable of trusting any man again. Without trust, no relationship was possible, no commitment, no
love
.

“Carter, you’re right. I’m sorry. I….I,” she stammered, almost in tears as emotion engulfed her.

“Shhh, come here,” he soothed, pulling her into his warm, strong arms. “Listen to me. I know I have a lot to prove to you. Hell, I’ve got a lot to prove to myself. But, I need to know if you’re with me?”

When Ella didn’t answer him right away, he tilted her head back by the chin so he could see her gorgeous green eyes. Pressure built in his chest; this was make or break time for him. And God knew, the break part would mean his heart.

“Ella, are you with me?” he pleaded with his eyes.
Please say you’re with me.

Thinking long and hard before answering his question, Ella knew she had questions of her own.

“Carter, what does that even mean to you?”

Grinning that singe-your-panties-off smile of his, he said “It means, kitten, I want you all to myself. Is that clear enough for you? Will that get through this beautiful, thick skull of yours?” he chuckled.

“This is a two way street you know, superstar? And I’m not sure your ego will fit down this street.”

“I guess we’ll never know until we try it?”

“You know you’re going to break me?” she said with pained, hesitant eyes.

“Maybe you’ll be the one to break me, baby.” he replied. “Promise me one thing?”

Ella looked suspiciously at him. “What promise?”

“Promise you won’t run from me anymore. That whatever is wrong, you’ll come talk to me, okay?”

The sincerity in his voice melted her heart, and the look he gave her made her feel vulnerable and naked. She knew at this moment, she was all his, hook, line and sinker. And as much as he thought she would break his heart, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, it would be her heart that would be broken in the end.

Chapter Sixteen

“Okay, now that that’s settled, go riding with me?” he asked.

“Riding on what?” she inquired.

“A bus,” he teased. “C’mon, on a horse.”

“Oh, no thank you. Horses are Liv’s thing, not mine. I like to ride on things that don’t have minds of their own.”

“Come on, don’t be scared. I’ll be right there for you.”

“I’m not scared. I just don’t want to go. I tried to ride a few times, but never got the hang of it. The horse always went in the opposite direction that I wanted to go.”

“You won’t need to worry about that. I want you riding my horse, with me,” his eyes gleamed with mischief.

“I don’t know Carter. Why are you looking at me with that devilish smile?”

“I’ve had a fantasy about you on my horse, since the first night I met you. So, guess, what? You’re going.” Grabbing her by the hand, Carter began leading her to his truck.

“Carter,” Ella dug her heels in, trying to stop him while catching her breath from laughing so hard. “I can’t go right now. I have a meeting for the benefit.”

“What are y’all doing out here?” Liv asked, stepping out of her office.

“Screw your meeting, she’s coming riding with me,” Carter chuckled, picking Ella up by the waist, spinning her around and heading toward the exit again.

“Eleanor, you’re right. He is a caveman. Dude,” Liv laughed. “Every time I see you, you’re trying to carry her off someplace.”

Carter jokingly grunted like a caveman would, burying his nose in her hair, and inhaling deeply. “Mmm, my woman, don’t make me get my club.”

“Yeah, for God’s sake, don’t give the jackass a damn club,” Gabe intervened, entering the room with a limp. “He’s already dangerous enough.”

“Keep your hands off my woman, and we won’t have a problem, dickhead,” Carter huffed, pulling Ella tighter against his chest. He was being possessive, but he didn’t care, not one little bit. For the first time ever, he found a woman he wanted to spend all his time with, and keep her all to himself. And it didn’t scare him or make him want to run for the hills.

Gabe hooted. “So, does this mean you’re off the market?”

Carter met Ella’s waiting eyes. “Hell yes, it means I’m off the market,” he smiled.

“Holy hell! This is a day for the history books. Who would’ve thought the elusive Carter Dawson would be in a relationship with someone other than himself. Think of all the hearts that will be broken.”

“Shut up, dumbass.” Carter snapped.

“It’s such a touching moment,” Gabe mocked, wiping tears.

They all laughed at the bro-mance between the two men. Ella was blown away. Gabe was right. This was a historical day. The day Carter Dawson proclaimed himself a taken man. And she was the taker.

Turning to Ella, Carter spoke close to her ear. “Finish up here and meet me at my cabin.” Before walking away, he brushed the briefest kiss over her lips, leaving her covered in chills and wanting more of him in his sexy, tight fitting jeans.

********

Later that evening, Ella met Carter at his cabin by the lake. The view was breathtaking and serene, with the sun high in the sky, reflecting off the still water of the lake. It was soundless, except for the wind rustling through the leaves in the trees.

Hearing the clopping sound of horse hooves, Ella turned to see Carter walking next to a beautiful Half-Arabian, buckskin gelding. His beautiful black mane shined in the glow of the sun, and his tail swayed beautifully as they approached Ella. He was a magnificent looking creature, no question.

“Hey beautiful,” Carter smiled.

“Hey yourself, handsome,” she grinned, like a school girl who just ran into her crush.

The buckskin horse came up to Ella, moving her arms to the side with his nose, and smelled her jacket pocket.

“Whoa, boy,” she laughed, backing away.

“Smoke, cut it out!” Carter pulled on the horse’s nose band. “Sorry. He’s looking for peppermints. Damn horse has a sweet tooth.” Reaching into his pocket, Carter pulled out two soft peppermint puffs and handed them to Ella.

“Be forewarned, you will have a new best friend.” Carter teased.

Carter opened Ella’s hand and placed a piece of the candy in the palm of her hand. “Just hold your hand flat like this and let him take it,” Carter instructed.

Smoke sniffed her hand and very delicately took the candy from her between his two gentle lips. Prickly whiskers tickled her hand as his velvety nose briefly skimmed her palm. Stepping back two steps, Smoke shook his head up and down in approval of the sugary treat.

“He’s stunning, Carter,” Ella praised, raising her hand to stroke the horse’s forehead.

“Yeah, well, he’s a pain in the ass sometimes.” Carter smiled coyly, when Smoke lifted his head and nipped at Carter’s cheek with his lips.

“I love you too buddy, but you’re still a pain in my ass!” Carter laughed.

Yet another mysterious layer to the complex man she was losing her heart to, she thought as she laughed too.

“Okay sweetness, you ready?” he tested.

“Are you sure it’s okay to ride him double? I hear it’s not good on their back if the weight isn’t distributed correctly?”

“You’re seriously gonna question me? I’m the horse guru, baby. You don’t question the guru,” he replied arrogantly, with his eyebrow cocked.

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, reach up and grab the saddle horn,” he said, showing her where to put her hands. Funny thing was, she knew about horses, he just assumed she didn’t. It was the actual
riding
she had trouble with. But, that was okay. She enjoyed the extra attention she was getting.

“Now put your left foot in the stirrup, and push up on your right foot, then swing your leg over.”

Ella followed his instructions and relished in the feel of his warm hand pushing up on her bottom as he helped her up in the seat of the saddle.

“Comfy?” he inquired.

“I am, but how will we both fit?”

“We’ll manage.” Throwing his leg over the back of the saddle, he climbed on the saddle with her, as Smoke side stepped and swayed from the movement. And it was a tight fit, as he settled in the seat behind her. Spreading her legs extra wide, she scooted so far up the seat rise that the horn was pushing against the seam of her jeans. Intimate pressure hit her right in the wrong spot. Or the right spot, depending on how you looked at it. This was going to be a long, distracting ride at this point, and hadn’t even begun yet.

Carter squirmed in the seat until he got himself adjusted. Meaning, he adjusted the bulge in his jeans right up against the split of her ass.

“Yep, that’s a nice fit, don’t you think?” he asked, close to her ear, as he reached around to get the reins.

Now, Ella had the saddle horn rubbing against her very sensitive sex, and his semi-hard dick at her rear. Really? How much more could she stand?

Clicking his tongue, Carter nudged Smoke with his knees, and directed him toward the lake. The slow rocking rhythm deliciously thrilled all the right places. Ella’s body tensed as she tried to fight the sensations shooting through her body.

Sensing her body stiffen, Carter murmured in her ear. “Loosen up, kitten. This is supposed to be a relaxing experience.”

“I can’t,” she whined, embarrassed by her own arousal.

“Why not?” he pushed, wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I just can’t, Carter. I told you this was a bad idea.” Awkwardness swamped her, she just couldn’t tell him how turned on this ride was making her.

“Ella, unless you give me a real good reason why, we are doing this.”

Another wave of desire ran through her as she rocked forward against the rise of the saddle and a soft whimper escaped her lips.

Understanding dawned on Carter, and a salacious grin spread across his face. Moving her hair off her neck, Carter began nibbling on the fleshly part of her neck, then whispered in her ear. “Relax baby, I’m gonna take care of you.”

Slowly, Carter unbuttoned her jeans, slipping his hand down between the apex of her thighs.

“Carter,” she breathed, when he grazed his finger over her feverish clit. “I don’t think…” she struggled futilely, but he tightened his hold.

“Shhh. I know, kitten. I’m gonna make it all better. Just sit back here, and let me make you feel good,” he said in that low, raspy, sexy as sin, voice of his that reverberated throughout her.

Ella’s stiffened body wilted into Carter’s solid chest. Already so far gone from all the contact on her body, she no longer had the strength to fight, nor did she want to. Reaching her arms behind her, she twined them around the back of his neck, and ran her fingers through his dark hair.

Carter slid his hand up under her shirt, and pulled her lacy bra down under one breast, releasing the weight of it. Kneading it in his strong hand, he paid particular attention to the nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Sexy little mewling sounds escaped her lips as he dipped one, then two fingers into her slippery passage. Carter couldn’t wait to wrap his hands in her long hair and pound into her. To smell her desire as he stole her breath away with every beat of her heart. But right now, this was all for her.

With the heel of his palm he rubbed her, while tremors of anticipation rippled through her to the recesses of her soul. Ella felt his breath prickle her skin and every millimeter of her body became hyper-aware of his growing erection pressing against her backside.

Carter pushed deeper, spreading her as he added a third finger. Grinding down on his hand with each sway of Smoke’s steps, her body began to shake and quiver with each nip, suck and kiss he placed on her neck.

Feeling the greed of her body and her muscles clenching around him, he drug his fingers in and out, slow and methodically. “That’s it baby, let go. Come for me.”

Fire flowed through her veins as rapture overtook her body. At his command, Ella tossed her head side to side, having one of the most powerful orgasms she’d ever felt. Still paralyzed and panting, her body shivered as he pulled his finger from her, and his lips moved by her ear.

“I fucking love feeling you come apart in my arms. It’s become an obsession of mine.”

Carter unwound his arm from her waist and sat back in the saddle, while she adjusted her clothes. She turned her head, and kissed him on the lips. He had this way of making her feel special, young and pretty. Still feeling his hardness on her backside, she felt guilty. That could not possibly be comfortable for him.