Hard to Be Good (Hard Ink #3.5) (8 page)

Chapter 8

J
ER
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M
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F
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K
A
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and Charlie into the gym, wondering what in the world Kat could be talking about. They weren’t even all the way through the door before he knew.

Eileen had found the cat. Or vice versa. Either way, the result was the same: pandemonium.

The puppy chased the cat in circles around, over, and through the gym equipment, all the while barking and yapping at the top of her little lungs. Every once in a while, the cat would get cornered, and then there’d be a series of hisses and a sharp yelp as Eileen pushed her luck and got her nose swiped for it.

Jeremy couldn’t hold back his laughter. “See, Charlie? I told you it would be fun.”

Nick marched across the gym to where they were standing. “What in the ever-living fuck, Jeremy? A cat?”

“Aw, come on. He was over in the ruins. I couldn’t leave him out there,” Jer said, chuckling as the cat finally made his way onto a shelf of equipment Eileen couldn’t reach. Didn’t stop the runt from trying, though. “Besides, he only has one eye.”

“Yeah, we noticed,” Nick said. Eileen continued to bark up at the cat.

Shane, Marz, and Beckett joined their group.

“Can we keep him?” Marz said. “Because if we’re going to have a three-legged dog and a one-legged man, then having a one-eyed cat is right up our alley.”

Jeremy pointed to Marz as if he’d never heard anything more logical. “See? My thoughts exactly.”

Nick’s gaze narrowed. “Dude. The last thing we need is animal-induced chaos.”

“Actually,” Kat said, elbowing Nick. “Some animal-induced chaos might provide a nice distraction from the other kinds of chaos we’re dealing with.”

Nick rolled his eyes.

Shane rubbed his hands together. “That means we need a name.” The other guys all groaned because Shane had been gloating for weeks that Becca had picked his suggestion of a name for the puppy.

“How about something pirate-y, like Matey or Patch?” Kat said.

“Those aren’t bad,” Jeremy said, grinning. “Come on, let’s hear ’em.”

“How about Willy?” Marz said. “You know, after Willy the one-eyed wonder worm.”

The guys all busted into laughter. Even Charlie couldn’t hold it back.

“That’s so bad,” Kat said, making them all laugh harder. “What about Wink?” Nick said, getting more into the spirit.

“Or Blink,” Shane said.

“Or Uno,” Beckett said, trying to hold back a smile. Laughter and words of approval followed each new suggestion.

Finally, Eileen’s barking died down, and Jeremy looked over to find her curled up at the bottom of the shelving unit directly below where the cat sat unhappily eyeballing her.

Becca joined them, followed a minute later by Sara and Emilie. “What are you guys up to?” Becca asked, wrapping her arms around Nick’s stomach. He was wearing an old black Orioles long-sleeved shirt, which made Jeremy wonder if she’d seen his new ink yet.

“Naming this goddamn cat,” Nick said, causing another round of chuckles.

“Oh, good. We’re keeping him?” Becca asked.

“Of course, we’re keeping him,” Jeremy said, giving her a wink. “And thanks for being on my side, unlike your grumpy boyfriend.”

“How about Minion?” Sara said. “Some of those little guys from that kids’ movie only have one eye.”

Jeremy crossed his arms and nodded. “Then I could say I have a minion. I like it.”

“What about Peekaboo?” Emilie said, smiling. Jeremy really admired her ability to find humor so soon after experiencing such tragedy. Having come close to losing Nick in that ambush a year ago, Jeremy didn’t think he’d be able to hold it together nearly as well as Emilie was doing if he lost his brother. “You could call him Boo.”

“That’s so cute,” Becca said.

“Or Cyclops,” Charlie said. “Cy for short.”

Jeremy smiled at Charlie. “That’s a good one. Cy. Cy the Cat. That’s really good, Charlie.”

Charlie stuffed his hands into his pockets and ducked his chin, but Jeremy could see the pleased grin he was trying to hide.

“Oh, God,” Becca said. “We are really twisted people, with these names.”

“How about Popeye?” Shane suggested, earning a new round of laughter. “Come on, that one’s genius.”

Just then, the door to the gym opened, and a bunch of Ravens poured in, Dare at the head of the group. Nick left their circle to touch base with him.

“Oh, I better go get dinner together. Everyone’s going to be hungry,” Becca said. “Excuse me.”

“I’ll help,” Kat said to Becca, then she turned to the group. “It’s potpie and last we checked, it smelled fantastic. We made six big pans, but I wouldn’t delay grabbing a plate or there might not be any left.”

“So, which name do you like best?” Shane asked Jeremy. “Popeye, right? It’s totally Popeye.”

Jeremy laughed. “I’m not sure yet, but we have a few winners here.”

Talking and laughing, they all moved over to his apartment, and Kat was right—it did smell fantastic, like warm bread and savory spices. Becca and Kat scrambled to set out the trays of potpie and bowls of salad as a line formed at the island.

“How can I help?” Jeremy asked.

“Put all this over there?” Becca said, pointing to baskets of corn bread and containers of paper plates and plastic utensils piled by the sink. He moved them to the breakfast bar with the other food. It looked like they were feeding a small army. And, actually, he supposed that was about right.

All the Ravens and a few members of the team grabbed their food and took it over to the gym, where there was a big makeshift table that could accommodate a larger number. Jeremy and Charlie ended up on one of the couches in the living room, plates in their laps, along with Becca, Kat, Marz, and Emilie.

The conversation was easy and fun. Natural. Like they’d all known one another forever, not just for weeks. Once again, it had Jeremy thinking of family. And regretting the fact that, at some point, the investigation would end and everyone would go their separate ways. As big as the Hard Ink building was, Jeremy had never felt it was too big, even before Nick had been discharged from the Army and moved in with him. But now that he’d shared the space with all these people, he wasn’t sure how he’d ever go back without feeling like he was rattling around in a tomb.

Was anyone else worried about what happened when all this ended? Stupid, really, since ending the investigation and nailing the team’s enemies was the whole point. Not to mention that, as powerful as their enemies seemed to be, there was no telling when or even if it would ever end. And the longer it went on, the more danger they all were in.

Including Charlie. He’d already been kidnapped and tortured, and he’d been up on that roof yesterday morning, too. God, what Jeremy
should
be worried about was what happened if all this
didn’t
end.

Jeremy turned his gaze on Charlie.

Amazing how, sometimes, really fucking good things came out of really fucking bad ones. The way Jer was feeling about the guy was so much more than good.

As casual as Jeremy had always been about sex and as few actual relationships as he’d had, finding and wanting Charlie was a revelation.

“What?” Charlie asked around a bite of corn bread.

Jeremy smiled and shook his head. “Nothing, man.” As he finished the last of his potpie, he caught Kat smiling at him. This time, though, it wasn’t a sarcastic or troublemaking smile. It was full of warmth and happiness. She nodded at him, her gaze skating for just a moment toward Charlie. And though he didn’t need her approval, it still made him feel happy to have it. And lucky. Because both Kat and Nick had always supported him. No matter what.

After dinner, Jeremy and Charlie took a long turn reading documents. Marz, Emilie, Easy, and Jenna helped, while the others took up watch in the snipers’ roosts or guarding the perimeter. Half of the Ravens took a guard rotation, while half slept, bunking down in sleeping bags on the gym floor.

By about one o’clock in the morning, the words on the screen in front of him started running together. “I’m afraid I’m starting to skim this,” Jeremy said in a low voice. “And I don’t want to miss something important.”

Marz rubbed his eyes. “Yeah. You guys have been at this long enough. Call it a night.”

“What about you?” Charlie said. “You’ve been here all day.”

“I know, but—”

“Come up with me,” Emilie said, cutting him off. A look passed between them and then Marz agreed and started shutting things down.

As they quietly crossed the gym, Easy fell in next to Emilie. “Thanks again for today.”

“Any time. And I mean that, Easy.” She smiled at him and then at Jenna, who gave her a hug.

“Thanks, Em,” Jenna said, her dark red hair contrasting with Emilie’s chocolate brown.

Emilie worked as a clinical psychologist, and Jeremy really hoped those words of thanks meant that Easy was getting help. Just last week Easy had admitted to the whole group that he was struggling with suicidal feelings. Jeremy didn’t think he’d ever been in a quieter room than when Easy confessed what he was going through.

While the other two couples made their way up the steps to the third floor, where they were staying in an apartment Jeremy had only partially finished renovating, he and Charlie went back to his apartment.

Mr. Clean had apparently come through some time in the past few hours, because the wreckage of dinner had all been cleaned up. No doubt that was thanks to Becca and Sara, who’d been going out of their way to try to take care of everyone.

They crossed the quiet apartment and arrived at the door to Charlie’s room first.

It had been way too long since Jeremy had touched Charlie, or held him, or kissed him. Pinning him to the door, Jeremy leaned in for a long, lingering kiss. Charlie tensed at first, but then melted into the kiss, his hands coming up to Jeremy’s shoulders, his neck, his hair.

Jeremy wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he knew what he
didn’t
want.

He didn’t want to be alone.

He didn’t want to be apart from Charlie.

And he didn’t want to play things safe.

“Come to my room with me,” Jeremy said, nuzzling his lips against Charlie’s ear. “I haven’t had nearly enough of you yet.”

Chapter 9

C
HARLIE
’
S HEART RACED
as Jeremy closed and locked his bedroom door. Which was a little ridiculous, given all the time they’d spent alone together over the past couple of weeks. But now, things felt different. Things
were
different. Because they’d admitted having feelings for each other, because they’d been together, because Charlie wanted to be with Jeremy in every way he could.

Which made him a little unsure. Normally, he’d just stretch out on Jeremy’s bed, his back resting on pillows stacked against the wall. But he wasn’t sure if that would mean something different to Jeremy now.

So he waited for Jeremy to take the lead. Standing in the center of the dark green room, one wall covered with more of the drawings he’d seen downstairs at Hard Ink, Charlie tugged his hands through his hair. It was just long enough that he could pull the top of it into a knot if he wanted, which he did sometimes when working at the computer.

“What’s the matter?’ Jeremy said, walking up to him. His hands settled on Charlie’s hips, sending a zing of electricity through his blood.

“What do you mean? Nothing,” he said, trying to sound relaxed.

Jeremy smiled. “Don’t be nervous. We don’t have to do anything. I just wanted to be with you. Nothing has to change between us, you know? I’m still just Jeremy. And you’re still just Charlie.”

That reassurance melted away most of Charlie’s uncertainty and he released a deep breath. “Yeah. Overthinking it. I’m sorry.”

Shaking his head, Jeremy cupped his hand around the back of Charlie’s neck. Jer seemed to like to touch him that way, which was good, because Charlie absolutely loved the way it felt. Like Jeremy was claiming him, comforting him, and pulling him closer all at once. “Don’t worry about that. Just talk to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“But you know,” Jeremy said with a smirk, “if you find yourself feeling the urge to kiss me, that’s good, too.”

Charlie gave a small laugh, all of his tension draining away. “I might be feeling that urge right now.”

Jeremy’s thumb stroked over the side of Charlie’s neck and his gaze narrowed. “Are you, now?”

Nodding, Charlie decided to put his tattoo into practice. He leaned in, flicked his tongue against Jeremy’s lip piercings, and kissed him. Threading his hands into Jeremy’s hair, he pushed his tongue deep into the other man’s mouth, tasting, exploring, stroking.

Jeremy gave as good as he got, and soon they were breathing hard, and clutching tight, and grinding against one another until Charlie had to gasp for air.

“Lay down with me?” Jeremy whispered.

“Yes,” Charlie said, letting Jeremy lead him to the big queen-sized bed. They stretched out on the soft flannel plaid comforter.

Jeremy pushed Charlie onto his back and climbed up over him. The other man’s weight felt phenomenal as it pressed him into the soft bedding. “I like the look of you here. In my bed,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah?” Heat filled Charlie’s cheeks at the comment, but only because he loved it so much.

Jeremy nodded. “Me on top of you—is that hurting your side?” Charlie had taken the bandage off at Jer’s instructions hours before, but the tattoo would take upwards of two weeks to heal, apparently.

“No,” Charlie said, quickly sliding his hands up to Jeremy’s back to encourage him to stay right where he was. Because Charlie would’ve endured just about anything to keep him there forever. “Kiss me, Jeremy.”

“Gladly,” Jeremy said, sucking Charlie’s lower lip into his mouth. Slow, deep kisses quickly escalated to fast and frantic. Their bodies shifted and pressed. Their hands grasped and tugged. Their hard cocks rubbed together through their jeans until Charlie was suddenly sure of one thing.

“I don’t want to come like this,” he rasped, his brain scrambling to figure out exactly what he did want. And how to find the courage to voice it.

Jeremy pulled back, that pale green gaze absolutely on fire. “Then how?”

Charlie swallowed hard and his pulse raced even faster. Because his body, heart, and head were all in agreement, and he knew what he wanted—from Jeremy,
with
Jeremy.

Everything.

“I want . . .”

“Say it, Charlie. Tell me and I will give it to you.” Jeremy kissed him with his eyes open, and it was so intimate, so close. Closer than he’d ever felt to another person.

“I want you in me,” Charlie finally said, dizziness falling over him at the admission.

Jeremy kissed him, long and hard. “Are you sure?” he asked when they finally broke for a breath. “We don’t have to rush—”

“I’m sure,” Charlie said, clarity finally descending over him. “I feel so close to you. I want to feel that in every way.”

“God, I want you,” Jeremy rasped into a kiss. Charlie wasn’t sure whether it was the kiss or the words that most stole his breath. All he knew was that he’d never felt so much, nor so intensely, as he felt right then. Affection. Desire. Love.

Love?

Could he really be in love?

Jeremy pushed up onto his knees, straddled Charlie’s hips, and tugged his innuendo-filled T-shirt over his head. And Charlie was captivated by the sight of Jeremy over him. By the sexy way Jeremy shook out his dark hair. By the miles of ink that covered his muscular shoulders and lean stomach. By the friction caused from Jeremy’s weight sitting deliciously on Charlie’s lap.

Charlie’s hands went to Jeremy’s strong thighs as he stared up at him. “God, you’re so damn hot.” The grin Jeremy gave him had his chest ballooning with warmth and his cock aching.

Jer reached for Charlie’s shirt and together they worked it off. Then Jeremy was on him, kissing his neck, his chest, his stomach. Deft fingertips found and teased his nipples until Charlie was panting and squirming and dying for more. When Jeremy’s hands finally worked down the button and zipper to Charlie’s jeans, he nearly cried out in relief. Slipping off the end of the bed, Jeremy tugged off the rest of Charlie’s clothing and then removed his own.

Slowly, like a lion tracking prey, Jeremy crawled up the bed, pausing to kiss Charlie’s ankle, to flick his tongue against the soft spot under his knee, to drag his teeth up the inside of his thigh, to nibble on his hip bone.

“You’re killing me, Jeremy,” Charlie rasped, nearly desperate.

His chuckle was as infuriating as it was sexy. “I think you can take it,” he whispered, his mouth hovering right over Charlie’s cock. He gave one long, slow lick up the length of it that had Charlie moaning and grasping at Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy obliged him for just a moment, sucking his cock in deep and hollowing out his cheeks as he withdrew. And then he stretched out over Charlie’s body again and kissed him so thoroughly, so passionately, so intensely that it made Charlie feel like he’d never been kissed before.

Charlie grasped Jeremy’s head. “Want you now,” he whispered.

Jeremy reached over to his nightstand and pulled open the drawer. He settled a condom and a bottle of lube on the bed beside them. “Turn over and get on your knees,” he said.

Heart thundering against his breastbone, Charlie got on hands and knees. It had been a while since the last time he’d had sex, which was why he was absolutely starving for it right now. Despite how amazing their earlier activities had been, there was nothing like someone being wrapped tight around you while they were deep inside you.

Hands ran over his back, stroking down his spine and cupping his ass.

“You’re so beautiful, Charlie,” Jeremy said, pressing a kiss against the small of his back. “Don’t let me do anything that hurts you, okay?”

“You won’t,” Charlie said, smiling over his shoulder. He adored the way Jeremy gave compliments so freely, so casually, like they were just plain facts. Charlie had never before experienced anything like it.

As Charlie watched, Jeremy grabbed the lube and coated two of his fingers. Anticipation made Charlie’s stomach flip and then Jeremy was touching him with those slick fingertips, circling and teasing and stroking against the opening to his ass. One finger penetrated, making Charlie hum in pleasure. Jeremy caressed his back and ass cheeks as he fucked him with his finger, first one, then two. He twisted his wrist and scissored his fingers, preparing Charlie for more. For him.

The third finger made Charlie arch his back on a moan, but he was glad Jeremy was taking the time to make him ready. Jeremy’s girth demanded it. And Charlie wanted to be able to take every thick inch of him. “God, that’s good.”

“Yeah?” Jeremy said, stroking his own cock, making the tip of it drag pre-cum against Charlie’s thigh. “Your ass is fucking tight, Charlie. I’m gonna love it.”

Gently, Jer withdrew his fingers and reached for the condom. He rolled it up his length and moved behind Charlie. The
click
of the lube lid sounded out, followed by the wet friction of Jeremy stroking himself again.

And then Jeremy was right there, nudging his opening, pushing in, and slowly—so slowly—sinking deep.

Charlie wasn’t sure whose moan was louder. All he could think about was the white-hot burn of Jeremy’s invasion. The way his cock filled him. The way it stretched him. The way it made him ache in the most torturously amazing way.

“Jesus, Charlie,” Jeremy bit out. “Okay?”

“Yes, yes,” he murmured, lowering to his elbows as Jeremy’s hand pressed on his back.

The slow withdraw sent a flash fire of pain and pleasure through Charlie’s body, and he reached beneath himself and grasped his own dick.

As Jeremy’s cock penetrated deep again, a little faster this time, two things happened. The piercings moved inside Charlie, adding a whole new sensation to the already amazing feeling of being fucked. And the pain melted away in a heartbeat, leaving Charlie to drown in a sea of pleasure so sharp, so hot, so mind-blowing, that he had to press his face into the pillow to smother the groan that ripped out of him.

For a fleeting moment, his brain offered up the caution that Nick and Becca were right next door, but then Jeremy chased away his capacity for rational thought as he gripped Charlie’s hips and thrust into him faster.

“You take me so good, Charlie,” Jeremy said, his voice full of grit.

“That’s because I need you,” Charlie managed, a moan tearing up his throat as Jeremy bottomed out inside him. The piercings rattled together, almost creating a vibration every time Jer went deep, and it was fucking wild.

“I need you, too,” Jeremy said. He sank deep and laid his chest against Charlie’s back, his arms coming around Charlie’s stomach. The position made Jer fuck him even deeper, and Charlie loved the sensation of being completely surrounded, completely covered, completely owned.

Jeremy’s hips thrust and retreated while still hunched around him. It was so deep that a pleasure verging on pain flooded through Charlie, shoving him a giant step toward coming.

“Lay down, babe,” Jeremy said, pressing a kiss against Charlie’s neck.

Wait. Babe? Did Jeremy just call him babe?

Charlie’s heart melted as he eased into a flat position on his stomach and Jeremy’s weight followed him down, truly covering him from head to foot. It was one of Charlie’s favorite positions because of the closeness, the heavy press of Jeremy’s body, and the depth it allowed.

Jeremy grasped tight to Charlie’s shoulder with one hand and gently turned Charlie’s face to him with the other, allowing them hot, awkward, too-short kisses as they moved and writhed together.

“You feel so good,” Charlie said.

The other man kissed him on a groan, his body moving faster, harder, deeper. As Jeremy picked up the pace, he forced Charlie’s hips to grind into the bed again and again. The friction against his dick was amazing and tormenting and sure to get him there way before he was ready for this to be over.

Charlie moaned and reached back with one arm, grasping at Jeremy’s ass. “Harder. Just like this. Gonna make me come.”

“Fuck, yeah,” Jeremy said as he delivered a series of hard, punctuating thrusts.

They were exactly what Charlie needed. The most exquisite clenching burn ripped through his lower body, and then he was smothering his yell in the pillow and coming in the tight space between his stomach and the bed, the sensation all the more intense because of the fullness Jeremy’s cock provided.

“So fucking good, so fucking good,” Jeremy rasped. “I can feel you.
God
.”

“Jeremy,” Charlie rasped as the spasms finally slowed.

On a desperate groan, Jeremy pushed onto his knees until he straddled Charlie’s thighs. He grasped Charlie’s ass in both hands, his thumbs holding him open. Jer slowed his pace and made his strokes longer, pulling almost all the way out before plunging all the way in again.

“It’s so damn hot watching me slide into you,” Jeremy rasped.

Just imagining what it looked like made Charlie’s dick stir again. “Feels even better,” he managed.

“Fuuuck
,” Jeremy said, falling forward again. He braced his weight on his arms. “I can’t hold back any longer.”

“Don’t,” Charlie said. “Come in me.”

“Shit, Charlie.” Jeremy’s hips flew, the sound of their skin smacking together loud in the room. “Coming. Coming.” Jer moved through the orgasm, a long moan spilling from his mouth, and Charlie felt the jerk of the other man’s cock deep inside him.

Knowing that a man like Jeremy found such intense-sounding pleasure in
him
made Charlie feel like he was floating.

“Jesus,” Jeremy whispered as his orgasm passed. He rested his forehead against Charlie’s hair, then shifted the weight of his body to the side as he gently withdrew his cock. He got off the bed just long enough to dispose of the condom in the trash and to grab a folded towel from the dresser. “Roll over,” he said as he climbed back into bed.

Charlie couldn’t stop looking at Jeremy’s face as the other man busied himself with cleaning Charlie’s stomach and the bedding, because he wore an expression that was so relaxed, so satisfied that Charlie could barely believe he’d been the one to put it there. It made Jeremy beautiful, really, and it made Charlie’s heart feel too big for his chest.