Hard to Be Good (Hard Ink #3.5) (2 page)

Chapter 2

B
REATHING HE
A
V
I
L
Y
,
C
H
A
R
L
I
E
fished his phone from his front pocket with shaking hands. After working up the nerve to kiss Jeremy, he couldn’t believe he’d chickened out when their phones went off at the same time. He’d been attracted to Jeremy from the very first time he’d awakened from a feverish sleep and found the guy sitting by his bedside. But it had taken Jeremy nearly falling to his death yesterday to finally convince him to act on that attraction.

The screen of his temporary phone read his sister’s number. “Hey, Becca,” he answered as he wandered to the other side of the ruined space.

“Hey. Where’d you go?” she asked, her voice bubbly and happier than he’d heard it since she’d engineered his rescue two weeks before. After everything she’d been through, she totally deserved happiness, and Charlie was glad she’d found Nick to share it with.

“Checking out the other half of the building with Jeremy.” Just saying the guy’s name heated Charlie’s cheeks. Charlie wasn’t a virgin, but he wasn’t particularly socially skilled, either. Computers, he totally got. Games and puzzles, he could solve and decipher without a second thought. People? Half the time, he had no clue. So he wasn’t sure if he’d read Jeremy’s interest right or not.

Maybe Charlie wanted something that wasn’t really there. Totally possible. After all, Jeremy was everything Charlie wasn’t—outgoing, confident, funny. The sexiest man he’d ever known. Not to mention bisexual. So Jeremy could literally have
anyone
he wanted. Charlie was probably kidding himself thinking that might be him, a shy, awkward geek with a badly mangled hand and a whole bunch of bad guys after him.

What a catch.

“Well, listen,” Becca said. “Nick doesn’t want anyone out on the streets during daylight. At least not until Detective Vance gets the roadblocks set up around Hard Ink. Just in case . . .”

Right. Just in case . . . anything else happened. Like being kidnapped, caught up in an international drug-trafficking conspiracy, and attacked by mercenaries wasn’t enough. Charlie couldn’t believe this was his life right now.

“Yeah, okay. We’ll head back,” he said. That hammered the nail into the coffin of his botched attempt at a kiss. There were so many people currently living in the half of the building that hadn’t been damaged that it was nearly impossible to have any privacy. Given how his father had disapproved of his homosexuality, Charlie had to assume the other former military guys might feel the same way. Nick seemed cool with Jeremy’s bisexuality, but then again, Jer was blood. And Charlie certainly didn’t want to do anything to endanger the only safe place to crash that he—and his sister—had.

So despite how much Jeremy’s near fall had made Charlie want to act before it was too late, maybe it was better they’d been interrupted after all.

He hung up, then crouched down to retie the shoestrings on his sneaker. The damn things wouldn’t stay tight because his injury made anything that required two-handed dexterity nearly impossible.

“That was Nick,” Jeremy said, walking closer.

Charlie remained focused on his shoestrings, like he had a chance in hell of getting them tied by himself. But it was better than facing Jeremy. “Yeah. It was Becca. For me, I mean. She said we should head back.”

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, crouching down right in front of Charlie.

Charlie stared at his beat-up blue-and-white Chucks like they were a long string of code that required his utter concentration.

“Charlie,” Jeremy said, the request to look at him clear in his tone. But Charlie couldn’t. He didn’t want to see rejection in the other man’s eyes, or have him make a joke about what almost happened. Between being kidnapped, tortured by a gang for information, and learning that his father wasn’t what he thought he was, little felt real in Charlie’s life right now. Not to mention the fact that the team had asked him to remain “missing,” as far as the authorities and their enemies were concerned. They thought he’d be safer that way.

But the longing Charlie felt for Jeremy? That was real. It felt like the
only
thing that was real. And right now he wasn’t strong enough to face the fact that it was almost certainly all one-sided.

Jeremy sighed and gently brushed his fingers away from the sneaker. “Let me help.”

Humiliation heated Charlie’s whole body. “It’s just that these bandages—”

“Dude, I know. No worries at all.” Jeremy made quick work of the laces. “Please look at me,” he finally said.

Everything inside Charlie fought the request until it made him nauseous. Why couldn’t he have been normal like Becca, or Scott, the brother they’d lost years before? Both of them had always been popular and outgoing and confident. They’d had tons of friends and dated and took charge of the world. Whereas everything had made Charlie anxious and jumpy, especially after their mom died when he was only twelve.

“Charlie—”

Meow.

Slowly, they both gazed toward the sound to find a big orange cat staring at them. A big orange cat with only one functioning eye. The eyelid appeared sunken and sealed shut where the other should’ve been.

Jeremy turned a big grin on Charlie. Despite his discomfort, that smile made Charlie’s skin heat for a whole other reason. Between Jeremy’s chiseled features, messy chocolate hair, full lips, pale green eyes, and multiple piercings, the guy made Charlie feel equal parts hot and unsettled—especially when he smiled, which he did
all
the time. At least until the attack yesterday.

“Dude,” Jeremy whispered. “There’s a one-eyed cat staring at us.”

The corners of Charlie’s mouth quirked up at the obviousness of the statement. “I noticed. Do you think he was in the building when it collapsed?” Dust and little bits of debris covered his fur.

Jeremy nodded. “Maybe. I’ve seen him around from time to time. But he’s never come this close before. I didn’t even know he only had one eye. Poor guy.” Slowly, he extended a hand. “C’mere, kitty dude.”

The cat tensed and his ears flattened. Jeremy stretched a little closer, and the cat bolted across the second floor.

“Damn,” Jeremy said.

Charlie rose to his feet. “Probably spooked by the explosion.”

Jeremy stood, nodding. “Yeah, he wouldn’t be the only one. So, about that, thanks. Okay?” Those pale green eyes blazed sincerity.

Charlie frowned and wondered if Jeremy was seeming totally normal because he actually felt normal, or if he was pretending to act normal to ignore the hundred-pound almost-kiss in the room. “Uh, sure,” Charlie finally said. Because he had no clue.

“Guess we better get back,” Jeremy said. “Going down might be slipperier than climbing up, so let’s take it slow.”

Charlie nodded, and they started down the rubble pile. About halfway to street level, the bricks slid out from under his feet, and Charlie almost went down. But Jeremy grabbed his good hand just in time and helped him the rest of the way.

Charlie tried to ignore how damn nice it felt to have someone hold his hand.

It was an unusual reaction for him. After his mother died, he withdrew in lots of ways, including from being touched. His father had never been touchy-feely, but their mother had smothered him with hugs and kisses. And then she’d left him.

Becca had tried to be something of a mother to him. She really had. But their mother’s death made him feel like if
she’d
leave him, he couldn’t trust anyone else not to do it, too. Computers were much more trustworthy that way.

When they reached the street, Charlie slipped his hand free. “Thanks,” he mumbled.

“Sure,” Jeremy said, raking his hands through his unruly dark hair as he turned back toward the building, his gaze scanning over the ruined façade one more time.

As bad as Charlie felt for Jeremy, he was glad to know someone understood just how profoundly his life had been turned upside down. Which was another reason Charlie shouldn’t have attempted that kiss. He’d never made a friend as easily nor interacted as comfortably as he did with Jeremy. That kind of friendship was rare. No way should he do anything to jeopardize it.

“Okay,” Jeremy said to himself. He turned back to Charlie, then did a double take.

The orange cat sat at the top of the brick pile.

Jeremy held out his hands as if the cat understood gestures. “Well, you coming with us, or what?”

The cat pawed at the top brick as if testing it for stability. But he stopped about halfway down and eyed them suspiciously.

“Maybe if we walk, he’ll follow,” Charlie said. Maybe the cat wanted to be close to them, but didn’t know how to let himself trust them to actually get close. Gee, that sounded familiar.

“Yeah,” Jeremy said, coming up beside Charlie. They walked around the rubble to the sidewalk that ran along the street side of the L-shaped warehouse. When they turned the corner along the undamaged side, Jeremy looked over his shoulder. “You’re a genius. We’re being stalked.” He winked.

Charlie peered over his shoulder. Sure enough, the cat padded after them, occasionally pausing to assess his surroundings. At the other end of the building, they waved to a camera and waited for the electric fence to let them in and then turned left into the gravel driveway. A few moments later, the cat peeked around the corner.

Jeremy chuckled. One of Charlie’s all-time favorite sounds. This man found joy in so much of life’s littlest things, and Charlie couldn’t help but admire that.

They turned the corner to the back entrance to Hard Ink, the tattoo shop Jeremy ran, and Jeremy punched in a key code that unlocked the door. “Come in, quick,” Jeremy said, and then he bent and wedged a stop under the door that held it open a few inches. He gestured for Charlie to follow him up the metal-and-concrete steps.

Once again, the cat followed them in and to the bottom of the steps.

This time, Charlie grinned. “What do you think Eileen’s gonna do?” Eileen was a three-legged German shepherd puppy that Becca had rescued off the streets. And the dog was
awesome
.

“Dunno,” Jeremy said, mischievousness filling his green eyes. “But it should be fun to watch.” He waggled his brows.

Two doors stood on the second-floor landing. They took the one to the cavernous warehouse space that had been a gym, but now served as the team’s war room and everyone’s dining room, too. Jeremy unlocked the door and propped it open.

They ducked behind a big shelving unit full of gym equipment. Moments later, the cat stuck his head in.

Beckett Murda came up beside them. “What’s going on?” he asked in a deep, no-nonsense voice. The guy was linebacker big and always serious. If Beckett hadn’t been involved in his rescue, Charlie would’ve been even more intimidated by him.

“Sshh,” Jeremy said, so
not
intimidated that he didn’t think twice about shushing the guy. “You’ll see. Watch.”

The cat came in, eyeballed them with its one big yellow eye, and bolted around them and behind another shelving unit.

“Seriously?” Beckett said.

Jeremy grinned and nodded. “Dude. It’s a one-eyed cat. He fits right in.”

The scars around Beckett’s right eye became more pronounced as his gaze narrowed, but the gym door pushed open again, cutting off whatever he’d been about to say.

“Hey. Why are the doors propped?” Kat asked, kicking the doorstop away. “The outside door downstairs was, too. I closed it.” Jeremy’s younger sister had arrived three days before and Charlie had nothing but respect for her, especially after she’d hightailed it up on top of the building yesterday to help defend them during the attack.

“Because we found a cat,” Jeremy said excitedly. Charlie looked away for a moment, because he was sure they’d all be able to read just how frickin’ cute he found Jeremy when he was all worked up about something. The guy radiated a positive energy that just made Charlie feel . . . alive.

Brow arched, Kat frowned at Beckett. “
You
found a cat, Trigger?” she asked, the nickname resulting from the fact that Beckett had apparently pulled his gun on Kat the first time they met.

Beckett glared, shook his head, and walked away.

Kat chuckled. “He’s so easy.”

“The cat was in the other half of the building,” Jeremy said. “He only has one eye.”

“From the explosion?” Kat asked. She was way shorter than Jeremy, but otherwise the family resemblance was clear. Chocolate brown hair, green eyes, an expertise in sarcasm.

“No. Looks like it’s been that way a while. But he followed us home. Isn’t that awesome?” Jeremy asked.

Kat laughed. “You always were the king of the stray animals, Jeremy.” She patted his arm, pushed onto her tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. “One of the many things I love about you. Hope Nick doesn’t mind.” She winked and walked away.

“Shit, don’t tell him yet,” Jeremy called.

She waved. “Good luck with that.”

More people poured into the room, including Nick. The family resemblance between the brothers was clear, although Nick was about a million times more serious than Jer. Which, despite the fact that Nick had personally hauled Charlie’s half-conscious body out of his prison two weeks before, made him pretty damn intimidating, too. Plus, Charlie couldn’t help but wonder what the guy would think of his interest in his brother.

“There you are,” Nick said to Jeremy. “I can’t believe you skipped out on our celebratory breakfast. Becca even put chocolate chips in the pancakes.”

Jeremy shrugged and the humor from moments before faded from his face. “Sorry.”

“No worries,” Nick said. “But we’re meeting as soon as everyone’s done eating. You in?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jeremy said. Charlie nodded, knowing he’d be helping Marz set up additional computers so more people could work through the documents they’d discovered on the microchip.

“Then come on over,” Nick said. “Because we’ve got work to do.”