Happily Ever Never (14 page)

Chapter 23

Vicki came into the house looking around as if to see if I’d removed her son’s things.

     Feeling complacent, she turned to greet me with a fast kiss on the cheek. I took it offensively, like she was sick to her stomach for pretending to be nice. I thought we’d cleared the air, but it was obviously still a bit foggy.

Since I’d sent Vince out grocery shopping and to fetch a few odds and ends at the hardware store, I knew he wouldn’t be home for a bit. It would give me time to assure Vicki we were living separately. To help the ruse, I moved some of my personal things down to Vince’s room, and his to mine, after he’d left the house of course. I wasn’t fully prepared to talk to him about anything else yet. Half the night before I laid awake thinking about our conversation and if I’d said the right thing. I was torn to keep Vince in good spirits while maintaining the sanctity of my faithfulness to Major alive. I wasn’t naïve to the fact that he was gone and not coming back. I knew we’d never exchanged vows. Still, my devotion to both God and Major were preventing me from taking things further. I wasn’t hoping for some kind of blessing from either, I just simply wanted to know without a doubt that I was being true to myself.

Without waiting for her to assume or simply ask, I led her into the downstairs bedroom. “I sleep down here or on the couch. Vince stays upstairs. Like I said before, we’re not together.”

Vicki sat down on the bed and folded her hands. She looked me right in the eyes. “He’s sick isn’t he? He looked terrible when I saw him. Tell me he’s okay. Tell me he drastically changed his appearance to create a new identity. Tell me he’s running from the law. I need to know. I deserve the truth, Bailey. I’ve loved that boy for a very long time. If he’s keeping something from me I want to know what it is.”

I had to look away. Did I tell her and break my promise to Vince, or value that when he was ready they’d all know? For a second I thought about the upcoming treatment regimen. He was going to be gone for a few weeks, and when he returned he’d look way worse. How would I be able to explain that?

I sat down beside her and touched her hand. “It’s not my place to explain it all to you. I made him a promise, and to be honest, I know he trusts me. I don’t want to lose that. If you want answers you’ll have to wait here and ask him yourself. For the record, we’re not together, not at all. Yes, we’ve gotten close. He’s changed. We share a connection to Major, and it’s easy to be around him. With the baby on the way I appreciate all the help he gives me. He wants to be around, and I won’t deny him that. We know how tradition works. He was always meant to be the baby’s Godfather. I can’t keep that from him just because things didn’t work out the way we wanted them to. I know Vince will love my son. I think he already does.”

She held hands with me and started crying. “I’m sorry. It’s hard thinking about you moving on with your life, but I know you have to. At some point you’ll meet someone else.”

“I’m not looking to get involved. I’m going to focus on being a mother to my child. I’ve had my one true love, mom. I couldn’t replace that, even if I wanted to, it will never happen.”

She sniffled before answering. “Don’t say never. Love happens when you least expect it.”

After our talk we headed into the kitchen to have lunch. I knew Vicki wasn’t going to leave until Vince came home. She was on a mission to learn his secret.

He whipped in the door with hands full of bags, using his foot to close it behind him. “Honey, I’m home,” he teased.

Vicki walked up and took a few bags, revealing she was still around. His face was priceless, and I’d expected him to retract his joke about calling me ‘honey’. Instead he stood there, staring and waiting for her to reprimand him. “Hey, mom. How’s it going?”

“You and I are going to talk as soon as we help put this stuff away.”

I watched as Vince’s shoulders sagged. He knew he couldn’t lie his way out of this one. He’d changed too much to assume she’d believe anything but the truth.

After assuring them I could finish, they retreated into the living room to have their heart to heart.

Every few minutes I wanted to go in and see if they were okay. I hadn’t heard yelling, that was obviously a good sign.

Finally they emerged, Vicki full of tears, Vince with a cocky smile on his face. He walked over and kissed me on the cheek, catching me off guard. “She gave us her blessing, babe.”

“Babe?” I flashed him an evil stare.

“He’s joking with you, Bailey. I know about the cancer. I know what you’ve done to help him.”

Vince placed his hands on my shoulders. “This woman is a saint.”

I rolled my eyes, but noticed Vicki nodding her head. “He’s right. What you’ve done for him is very noble. I know you didn’t always get along. Now, seeing the two of you, it’s like you’ve been friends forever. It warms my heart knowing he’s not alone.”

I spun around and looked at Vince confusingly. Had he told her he had feelings for me? Is that why she was crying?

Vicki changed the subject. “I want you both at dinner tomorrow. Vince has agreed not to hide anymore. I know about his treatment, and if there’s anything we can do to make it easier on you let me know. If you want me to drive him to the hospital Monday I can.”

Instantly I felt sad. I liked being the one to drop him off and wish him well. We’d gotten used to being together. “I’ve already taken off work. It’s not a big deal. We like to have breakfast at this one diner on the way. It’s kind of a new tradition.” I think it was the first lie I’d ever told her.

I caught the look Vince was giving me, and the sly half-smile that crossed his lips. He’d known I’d wanted to be the one to take him. I’d given him hope and I wasn’t sure what that meant exactly. Why was it bothering me so much to let someone else take him? Did I just want to be in control, or was it something else altogether?

Vicki stayed for a while longer. She was adamant about making sure the laundry and dishes were all clean. Then she had to sit with me until she felt little Trey kicking around. She spoke to him and told him how much she looked forward to meeting him. I felt like everything was back to normal, and that she wasn’t assuming things that weren’t happening. Now my only problem was figuring out my latest bout of protectiveness. I wanted to believe it was just because Vince made me feel like I wasn’t alone, so someone else helping him would take away from our time, but I wondered if that wasn’t the only reason. Deep inside there were feelings I refused to admit. Now that we were nearing another round of serious treatments, I think I was worried Vince wouldn’t be coming home. I was scared to lose another person I cared deeply for.

Once Vicki went about her way, I was left to face Vince, and the awkwardness between us. He seemed in good spirits considering he was about to leave to head to a place where he knew would be awful. “What’s up with you today?”

I popped a grape into my mouth and rubbed my belly, while facing him. He leaned back on the countertop across from me with that same smirk on his face. “Just something Vicki said.”
I tried to change the subject. “Have you always called her mom?”

He shrugged. “I guess. Most kids in the neighborhood did. She was everyone’s mom.”

“It’s sweet.”

“How come you need to be the one to drive me?”

“Vince,” I turned around and pretended to mess with the rag on the sink, even though it was folded perfectly already. “I just figured you’d want me to take you. We have great conversations.”

I felt his hand on my hips, but refused to turn around. I hadn’t been touched in months. Being pregnant and feeling pitiful all the time didn’t help. Vince cared about me, and a little part of me felt excited about that. His head leaned on my shoulder. He didn’t try to kiss me, or whisper in my ear. He was just there, pressing lightly against the back of me, while speaking. “We had a moment, why don’t you just admit it?”

I closed my eyes and tried to play this out in my mind. Major kept popping in my head in different scenarios. Some he was angry, but others he was happy I was living my life. I was torn. Nothing would stop my love for him, not even feelings for someone else. I’d never have what I felt for Major, yet whatever was happening between Vince and I was definitely something to concern me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just because I smiled at you doesn’t mean it was a moment.”

He rubbed my shoulders and stepped away, but kept his hands where they were as he spoke. “It confuses me too, Bails. I’m trying to fight it, but let’s be honest, you and I have something.” He finally dropped his hands and backed up until he reached the other counter. I spun around, finally able to look him in the eyes. “The way you’re avoiding the conversation tells me it’s true.”

I shook my head. “I’m just worried about your treatment. I’m pregnant if you haven’t noticed. My hormones make me emotional and confused. That’s all this is.”

“So,” he stepped forward again, shocking me. I placed my hands behind me and leaned all the way back on the counter. “If I tried to kiss you right now what would happen? Would you push me away?” He kept moving forward. His hands lifted my chin. My eyes filled with tears, but not because I was scared of what would happen. I was scared that I was about to cheat on Major. I was so torn. I moved my head to the side.

“Please don’t.”

His lips kissed over my temple. “I won’t play the time card with you, Bails. When I come home from my treatment I’m going to try to kiss you again. Maybe by then you’ll be ready to admit we’re connected.”

When Vince walked away I was out of breath. Never, in a million years, did I think that man could get to me. I’d either lost my mind, or something else was drawing us together. I wasn’t about to kick him out, because I knew I didn’t want him to leave.

In that moment I reached for his hand. We didn’t know if he’d recover. His time could be limited. The idea of him leaving this world gave me reason to respond. Life was too short. “You’re right. There’s something between us. I’m confused about it, so I don’t want to act on it. I need time. Right now my focus has to be on Trey.”

“I know.” We hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. Vince pulled me into his arms, and I didn’t fight him. He stood there holding me close without saying anything. The baby kicked and he felt it against his own stomach, letting out a laugh to acknowledge it. “That’s so cool.”

“I guess he wants to thank you too.”

“I’m scared, Bails. I’m scared that I’m going to love the both of you and not get to stick around to be a part of your lives. If I would have known this would occur, I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my life.”

“I was with Major. You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

“I should have taken better care of myself. I could have kept it from spreading.”

“You still have a chance. This new round of treatment could work.”

“And what will I have to offer you? I’ve spent my money on staying alive a little longer. I’m not even half the man I used to be. Shit, I don’t even know the person in the mirror anymore.”

“I do,” I replied quickly, moving my eyes up to meet his. “I know exactly who you are.”

His fingers traced over my lips. I closed my eyes and appreciated the way it felt to be touched. “I’m trying so hard to stop myself, but I can’t. Every second we’re together makes me want more. You keep me going. I’ve never felt this way in my life.”

When I opened my eyes he was still gazing at me. We were extremely close. I got butterflies in my stomach when I looked down at his parted lips. “Just one kiss, Vince.”

His lips were on mine, and that one kiss lasted a lot longer than I anticipated, but then it was over. Vince backed away and rubbed his face with his hands. He shook his head and laughed to himself. “Well, I never thought I could feel like a million bucks and a piece of shit at the same time.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and knew exactly what he meant. Had we disrespected Major? Was this wrong? Were we just too messed people reaching out because we were desperate for a connection? “Yeah.”

He tossed his hands in the air as if to give up. “Well at least it’s clear now.”

“What is?” I asked.

“My feelings for you. You see, I’ve always been a man who thought with his dick. Since it’s been out of commission for a while I’ve been messed up. That kiss; well let’s just say it was better than any encounter I’ve ever experienced. If the cancer won’t kill me, you will, and I’m going to love every damn minute of it.”