Hannah's Remission (Amish Romance) (Amish Circle Series Book 1) (4 page)

The next morning, Emma was washing up the breakfast dishes and looking out the window. She was remembering back when Hannah was so little and healthy. Her
mann
had still been alive then. There was one morning when he had been holding his
dochtah
and rocking her. She had reached up and grasped his beard and tugged it sharply. Instead of being angry, her
mann
had simply laughed and untangled her tiny fingers.

“
Ach
,
fraa
, she’s a strong one. She’ll be a big help to you around the
haus
. I’m glad that
Gott
has seen fit to bless us with such a
wonderbaar
, healthy
bobbli
.” It hadn’t been much longer before her
mann
had taken sick and died. It had been hard to cope but Emma had trusted in
Gott
and knew that as long as she always tried to do what was best for her
dochtah
that things would work out in the end.

Then, when she was sixteen, Hannah had fallen ill. It had started with a string of head colds and ear infections that Hannah couldn’t seem to shake. Then, she had developed strange bruises which had appeared when Hannah had bumped herself even slightly. The doctor that normally treated members of her community had taken some blood and then, shortly after, they had found out that Hannah had acute lymphocytic leukemia. The rounds of medical appointments and chemotherapy had started soon after and Emma was terrified. How could she keep her only
kinder
safe from a threat that came from inside her own body?

Emma was still reliving the past when she saw Luke’s buggy pull up in the yard. She was thankful that Hannah was still sleeping. That meant she could go out and speak to Luke again before her
dochtah
realized he was out there. She had hoped that speaking to him yesterday would have made him realize he was not wanted in her
haus
but clearly she had not been firm enough. She wiped her hands on a towel, straightened her apron and
kapp
and went out to speak to the young
mann
who had such an unwanted interest in her
dochtah
.

Their conversation was short and to the point. She told Luke how ill Hannah was and that she was not in any shape to see anyone let alone be courted by a
mann
. That she didn’t appreciate him getting Hannah all worked up and emotional because it could jeopardize her recovery. And that she wanted him to go and leave her small
familye
in peace. Luke had looked at her with a stubborn look on his face that was common to the men in her community.

“I’ll go Emma, but I will be back shortly. No disrespect, but I think I want to hear from Hannah that I am not wanted here. She means the world to me but if she doesn’t want me here I’ll leave. I just need to hear it from her.” Luke climbed back into his buggy and clucked to his horses. They rumbled out of the farmyard. When Emma walked back inside she was surprised to see Hannah standing in front of her in her night shirt.

“Who were you speaking to
Maemm
?” Hannah asked. “Was it Luke? Did he come to see me?
Maemm
, why didn’t you invite him in? I have to see him. Is he coming back?” Emma nodded. “I’m getting dressed then. I have to see him when he gets back. This is important!” Before Emma could protest, Hannah sprinted up the stairs showing more energy than she had in months. While Emma was glad to see such a change in her
dochtah
she was still very afraid about what it could mean for the future.

Before long, Hannah had dressed and splashed water on her face. She felt better than she had in a long time. Her heart fluttered when she thought about Luke and what the future might hold for them. She wanted to make sure she looked as good as possible when he came back to see her but she didn’t want to give her mother a chance to speak with him and send him away. She worried that Luke might not come back a second time.

She thought she heard someone at the door and sprinted back down the stairs. She heard her mother speaking to someone again, imploring them to go and leave the
familye
alone. She heard Luke’s voice asking her again to let him see her
dochtah
and caught the determined look on Emma’s face. Luke turned away, walked down the steps and crossed the yard to his buggy. Just as Luke was climbing in to leave, she reached the doorway.

“Luke! Wait! Please don’t leave!” Hannah pushed past her mother and raced down the steps. Luke saw her and a smile appeared on his face. “Please, Luke I need to talk to you. I like you very much but I’m sick. They tell me I’m getting better but I worry that I’ll never be healthy. I worry that I’ll never have a normal life and that I won’t be enough for you.” She looked up into his face anxiously.

“
Ach
, Hannah, don’t you see? You’re more than enough. I like you a lot. I’ve always liked you and your being sick isn’t enough to make me leave. You are the most beautiful, humblest woman and your being ill isn’t going to scare me off or make me want to stop seeing you. I feel like
Gott
has called me back to this community so I can be here for you and help you through this trial. I care very deeply for you Hannah.” Hannah closed his eyes at his words and felt his lips brushing against hers. It was very light and only for a moment but it was a kiss she would remember the rest of her life. She opened her eyes and he stepped up into his buggy. The wheels rattled as he left.

Hannah felt her cheeks flaming as she turned around and saw her mother standing in the doorway. She brushed past Emma and felt her mother’s disapproval about the entire situation. Hannah felt like she had to explain to her mother why Luke was so important to her.

“
Maemm
, cancer has taken away so much. I can’t do the things my friends do.
Gott
knows, I don’t even have my hair. Luke doesn’t see me as being sick or less able to do things than most girls can. The doctors can’t tell me whether I will live to see my twenties and they are pretty sure that if I do, I’m not going to be able to have
kinder
. But I can love Luke. That’s something I can do. It doesn’t matter if I am sick or if I am well. I can love Luke just the same.
Maemm
, give me this one thing, this one chance at feeling normal for a change. Please? It’s not so much to ask is it?”

With that, Hannah turned and ran upstairs to her room, leaving Emma to think about what her
dochtah
had said.

Hannah had stayed in her room for much of the day and Emma hadn’t wanted to disturb her. She had heard her
dochtah
tossing and turning late into the night and Emma knew she hadn’t slept well. Emma hadn’t slept much either. She had a lot to think about.

Emma pushed the door to the room open. Hannah was wrapped in a tangle of sheets and blankets, her head buried beneath a pillow. Emma approached the bed and gently shook her
dochtah
to wake her up. As usual, Hannah was hard to wake and grumbled and protested while Emma was rousing her. Emma shook her
dochtah
gently a few more times then stepped back from the bed.

“Hannah, it’s time to get up. Today is a very important day and you have to be up and ready to go. Your ride is coming soon and you need to be dressed. Please, Hannah, we cannot be late today. It is very important. I put your dress on the chair and if you come downstairs I will have breakfast ready.”

Emma left the bedroom and Hannah got up. She was a little confused. Her doctor had said they were slowing down the chemotherapy treatments but it had only been a few days since her last treatment. Hannah found it hard to keep track of the days sometimes and thought that maybe she was wrong about what day it was. After all, what else would be going on that she would need to go to? She knew it wasn’t Sunday so it was unlikely that they were going to
Ordnung
. No, Hannah decided, it had to be that she was going to one of her chemotherapy treatments.

She finished getting ready. She was surprised at the dress that Emma had laid out for her. Normally Emma laid out older dresses since Hannah tended to be sick during her chemotherapy sessions and she never wanted to risk staining a new dress. But this time, Emma had chosen a beautiful dress for her that fit her well even with all of the weight she had lost. There was a fresh bonnet that looked well with the dress set out as well.

Hannah dressed and walked down the stairs. She saw her mother standing by the door holding a lunch wrapped in waxed paper. She hurried down the last few steps, worried that she was keeping the Amish taxi waiting. She hated to do that since it inconvenienced the driver and made them need to hurry to get to the hospital on time.

Emma draped a shawl over Hannah’s shoulders and handed her the lunch. She followed her
dochtah
out the door and almost ran into her when Hannah stopped dead in her tracks. Instead of the Amish taxi it was Luke in the yard, leaning against his buggy. Hannah’s jaw dropped as she saw how fine Luke looked. It was obvious that they were not going to the doctor that day.

“Hannah, your
maemm
contacted me this morning. Do you still feel up to going to the races?” Luke asked her, hope in his eyes. Hannah didn’t reply, she just ran down the steps and into his arms. She pressed her head against his chest and nodded, feeling too overwhelmed and happy to speak.

(To be continued in
Grace’s Disappointment
)

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“Are you excited for the buggy races in a few days’ time, Jane?” Grace asked her friend.

“
Jah
, it will be
gut
fun.” Jane had been busy in the run up today preparing meals that would be eaten at the races. Her
familye
owned the local Amish restaurant. It would be a good day. Hannah and Elizabeth would be there too. It would make a difference having Hannah there. She was now in remission from her cancer and they could enjoy themselves, as eighteen-years-olds do, watching the boys and wondering who would get married first.

They had grown up together and each knowing that on her wedding day, the others would be her
newehockers
but all of that was thrown into chaos when Hannah got cancer when she was sixteen. It served to bring the group closer together, if that was even possible. They looked out for each other. Now they could celebrate inwardly, if afraid to say so out loud, but Hannah was better and part of the gang again. When she was ill, it was as though time stopped for all of them, now it could resume.

The buggy races would be a great day for all of them. Jane would see Elizabeth and Hannah later. They would call in for lunch at Jane’s restaurant. Grace didn’t want to disappoint Jane by telling her she couldn’t go to the races. Jane had wanted to make the day special and she’d only get upset if she knew about Grace. Grace wasn’t always happy at social events. She liked it when it was just the four of them together. The other girls were prettier than she was and she felt like an ugly duckling when out with them. She never believed them when they told her she was just as pretty. Anyway, what did it matter? She was Amish and she wasn’t supposed to be concerned about looks.

The morning of the races dawned and Jane was in great excitement. She had to help set up a stall but other than that was free to be with her friends. It was going to be a great day.

“Elizabeth, please help me for a few minutes and then I’ll be free,” she called out to her friend as she arrived. It was all hands on deck but Jane could feel the excitement building as the people arrived. When they had finished, they found a spot where they could watch others arrive.

“Any sign of Grace or Hannah? I wonder where they can be. Look, Elizabeth, there’s Rose, isn’t she promised to Jacob? Has he settled after his
rumspringa
?” Jane was full of questions, especially so when she got nervous. Jacob was Elizabeth’s
bruder
.

Before Elizabeth could answer, Jane had spotted Hannah. She stood up and started to run towards her dear friend.

“Hannah, Hannah, come with us. Please don’t mind, Mrs. Sutter, we’d love to spend the day with Hannah.” Hannah’s mother just nodded. It had been a tough time for her and she was happy that her
dochtah
’s friends had always been there.

“Come, Hannah, let’s see if we can find ourselves any
menner
.” They laughed. And it was good for them to laugh.

“I can’t see Grace anywhere. I hope she comes soon.” Jane was looking around but there was no sign of Grace or her
familye
.

They linked arms as they walked around. Many of the young men had returned from rumspringa and it was strange to see how they had become men while they were away.

They sat on the grass to watch the races but really it was to look at the boys.

“Elizabeth, is Jacob promised to Rose? I’m surprised that lasted while he was away. You know she goes to a lot of parties where the
Englischers
attend. I’ve heard some stories about her.” Jane asked.

“
Jah
, they are promised to each other. I suppose Jacob went to parties on his
rumspringa
so I guess it was no different to Rose. Anyway, they are together now.” Elizabeth was looking around for Grace.

“Hannah, your mother is beckoning you. You’d better go to her. Catch up with you later.” Jane turned around to see Elizabeth was chatting to a boy and she decided to go for a walk. She wanted to get away from the chatter of the ground.

As she walked away from the crowd, she saw Rose walking very purposefully. Rose kept looking back and there was something about her actions that made Jane suspicious. She decided to follow her and saw Rose climb over a fence and there she saw a blond young
mann
stand up so she could see him. The field of corn had hidden him until he stood up. Rose ran to him and threw her arms around his neck and they kissed. It was more than just a peck, Jane had to look away, she felt it sinful to be watching their passion and soon they had disappeared, falling into the ground. Rose was with an
Englischer
.

Yet, Jane felt unable to walk away. She crept closer to where they were. She could hear them talk but wasn’t close enough to know what they were saying. She had never really liked Rose. She often wondered what Jacob saw in Rose. She had always been on the wild side and while they were the same age, she never gelled with Jane and her friends.

She could smell smoke, they were smoking. But she was supposed to be committing herself to Jacob. Jacob was due to be baptized and then could court Rose officially but if she was smoking, and with an
Englischer
, then what else was she up to?

Jane had seen enough. She hurried back to the grounds but wanted to avoid Elizabeth. What was she going to say? Rose would deny it and Jane couldn’t risk hurting Elizabeth. She needed to find Hannah. Jane made her way through the crowd and found Hannah where she left her. Her mother had her sitting on a stool. She didn’t want her overtired.

“Hannah, come with me.” Hannah looked and knew from Jane’s expression that something was up. Her mother was occupied in chat so she stood up and followed Jane.

“
Vas is letz,
Jane?” she asked.

“
Ach
, Hannah, it is dreadful. I’ve just seen Rose, Jacob’s Rose, with an
Englischer
in the cornfield over there and they’re smoking! What will I do? Do I tell Elizabeth? I don’t want to upset her.” Jane was getting worked up.

“Calm down, Jane, you need to breathe. Let’s not say anything for now. Maybe someone else has seen them. I’m not sure what we should do. There’s no need to cause trouble if we don’t need to. But I always knew she was a bad one. Remember when we were little, she talked about being
Englisch
. Dreadful girl. Be brave, dear friend. We’ll figure this out between.” But Hannah and Jane were too preoccupied to look at the races or the boys. The fun day that Jane had looked forward was ruined.

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