Handle Me with Care (13 page)

‘Can I ask you a question?’ said Maddie.

‘Ask away.’

‘Did it hurt? I mean, you know … with the lump?’

He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. ‘No, it didn’t hurt. Some guys have pain, but I’ve been lucky, depending on how you look at it.’

‘So that’s a good sign, right?’

His eyes didn’t leave hers for a second. ‘Don’t look so worried.’

‘I can’t help it.’

‘Hey,’ he said, moving his body so she couldn’t avoid looking at him. ‘It’s not like I’m going to die … at least not yet.’

She couldn’t hold back the sob.

He leapt off of her and pulled her on to his naked lap, kissing away the tears that spilled over.

‘I’m sorry, Maddie. That was uncalled for. I’m a dickhead who thinks jokes will make it less serious.’

She buried her head against his shoulder. His fingers combed her hair, and she felt his long, drawn-out sigh before he spoke again.

‘Let’s hope that everything will be okay,’ he said.

She nodded as he scooped her up in his arms and took her into the bedroom. He held her tightly and his steady breathing soothed her like a lullaby. And for the first time since Riley, she went to bed with a man and spent the entire night curled up in his arms.

*

Evan did his best to be quiet, but his belt jingled as he threaded the leather through the buckle.

‘What are you doing?’ Maddie sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes.

He leaned over and kissed her, smiling at the way she lay down again and snuggled into the duvet. ‘It’s early, go back to sleep.’ He bent down to get his shoes.

‘You pass, by the way,’ Maddie muttered.

‘Pass what?’

‘The jeans test.’

He wiggled his bum at her. ‘Glad to hear it.’ He knelt on the bed so he could kiss her, and as her tongue probed his mouth and she pleaded ‘stay’ into his ear, he straddled her and she grasped his bum in her hands, pulling him towards her.

‘Believe me when I say that I’d much rather stay here with you, but I have to go.’ He pulled away regretfully. ‘I’ve got to get home so that I’m in a fit state to face a class of twenty kids, none of whom would understand that I was late because of a beautiful girl who wouldn’t let me get out of bed.’

His fingers stretched out to lightly caress the side of her face from her forehead down to her mouth and lingered on the lips he had just kissed.

Maddie’s hand reached beneath his shirt and stroked the bare skin of his stomach. When he groaned she rubbed the dark line of hair that sneaked down below his belt buckle, ready to go further.

He stopped her hand and held it for a moment as the giddy feeling of having this hot girl between his thighs subsided just enough. ‘I’ll call you tonight?’

‘Okay.’

He dropped one last kiss on her lips before he pulled on his jacket and closed the apartment door quietly behind him.

Back at his place he showered and thought about Maddie, lounging in bed, her sexy little body tangled between the sheets. Now that he knew about Riley, he hoped this was the beginning of something special, long lasting. She was a genuine girl and she could’ve easily kept quiet about the other guy and her past involvement with men, but instead she had chosen to be honest and deal with the consequences, and he admired that. If it were possible, it made him fall for her a little bit more.

He pulled the towel from the rail and wrapped it around his waist, and when his phone rang shrilly from the kitchen, he ran, expecting it to be Maddie.

‘Evan Quinn, speaking,’ he said when her name didn’t appear on the caller display.

He knew by the formality of the voice that this was it. This was the call he had been dreading, the call that would make him go from happy to feeling miserable and downright petrified.

Chapter Sixteen

The children filed into the classroom in an orderly line, and Evan waited for them to settle at their desks. He felt sure he had walked all the way to school that morning in a daze, still reeling from the phone call.

As he tried to imagine how he was going to tell Maddie, he turned to find Carly, a doll-like girl with wide eyes and a neat, raven-coloured bob.

‘Mr Quinn. Do you have a wife?’

He loved how kids had no qualms in coming out with questions. They were yet to learn appropriateness and tact, but then again, some adults couldn’t manage that either.

‘No, I’m not married.’

‘Why?’

‘I guess I haven’t met the right person.’ Until now, he thought.

The rest of the class were starting to settle, but Carly had more questions. ‘My mummy thinks you’re cute, but she already has Daddy, but she does have a friend who isn’t married.’

Evan wondered whether match making was in every woman’s genes. He was glad it was in Jem’s or he never would’ve got to know Maddie. ‘Well thank you, Carly, I’ll bear that in mind.’

He ushered the little girl over to her desk so they could begin their reading groups. Each group had a nominated monitor who was responsible for setting up, and at the end of the session, a new monitor would be appointed for the next time. The kids loved the responsibility, and Evan saw it as a vital stepping stone to independence and responsibility.

At lunchtime Evan had playground duty, but he sneaked a moment before leaving the classroom and sent Maddie a text.

Hi beautiful. Had a great night last night, hope you did too. x

His feelings were jumbled. One minute he was relieved the operation had been scheduled and the deed would be done, the next he was absolutely terrified. When he thought about last night with Maddie his insides lit up, and he couldn’t bear the thought of ripping that pleasure away from either of them, at least until after work when he could see her face-to-face.

He picked up the silver whistle and looped it around his neck as he prepared to referee lunchtime.

After lunch Evan sat all the children down in a semi-circle, cross-legged in front of him. He sat on the chair and pointed to the calendar that faced the class. ‘Who was our calendar and weather person this morning?’

Brianna’s hand shot up proudly. The children loved the ritual each morning whereby one lucky pupil would be chosen to come up to the front and stick the day of the week on to the magnetic board, plus the month and then the numerical date. And the good thing about Melbourne and its four-seasons-in-one-day weather was that the chosen pupil often got to change the magnetic symbol from cloudy, sunny, rainy or windy, no matter what the season.

Brianna stopped wobbling her front tooth long enough to select the right magnetic symbols, and Evan’s thoughts drifted to Maddie yet again; it was hard to maintain focus on his class today when his mind was as far from Huntley Primary as it had ever been. It was going to be hard to tell her about the impending operation, to see the worry on her face, the fear that history could repeat itself and she could lose another man she cared about. As the classroom became a hive of activity in preparation for this afternoon’s art session, Evan craved the simplicity of a child’s life away from the responsibilities of an adult, away from the realities that could be so painful.

*

‘Maddie, you look like your face is set in that position.’ Ally teased. ‘Come on, what’s going on?’

They squeezed on to the tram with carrier bags full of ingredients for tonight’s dinner. Tonight would be a girls’ night in with a movie, wine and gossip.

‘I could ask you the same question. You look pretty happy yourself,’ said Maddie.

Ally spied a couple of spare seats at the back of the tram and they plonked themselves there, wedging the bags between their feet.

‘Joel’s taking me to the
Loft in the Mill
up in Olinda,’ said Ally. ‘Think open fire, spa bath, romantic walks …’

‘That sounds wonderful.’

‘It does, doesn’t it? Come on then, your turn. Why are you so smiley all of a sudden? Unless …’

‘Unless what?’

‘That’s it! You’ve seen Evan again, haven’t you?’

Maddie nodded.

‘I knew it! So come on, how was it? How is he?’

‘He’s fine. Well, not fine obviously, but we went out yesterday. We met for hot chocolates, took a boat to Williamstown.’

‘That sounds very romantic.’

‘It was.’

‘Oh come on, and?’

‘And what?’ asked Maddie, enjoying the game, enjoying her friend’s desperation to know the details.

‘Maddie Kershaw!’

The tram jerked to a stop outside Maddie’s apartment block and, carrier bags hooked on to each arm, they stepped down on to St Kilda Road.

‘He walked me home.’

‘Oh, this is painful,’ said Ally.

‘And we slept together.’

‘Well hallelujah! It’s about time.’

When they dumped the carrier bags on top of the kitchen bench, Ally said, ‘I’m glad that it was Evan and not Josh.’

So was Maddie, unbelievably so. Evan’s feelings had been hurt when she’d told him about Josh, and she suspected he would’ve hated the thought of too much intimacy with someone else. Even though she and Evan weren’t an item when she’d gone back to Josh’s place that night, there were things that hadn’t been said.

Maddie diced the chicken, coated it in a honey soy marinade and put it in the fridge. Ally took charge of the wine and poured two large glasses of red.

‘It’s a turning point, isn’t it?’ Ally asked, chinking her glass against Maddie’s.

‘You know, I really think that it is.’

‘So who made the first move?’

‘I think we both knew what was going to happen.’ Maddie sniggered.

‘What do you mean?’

‘We had to stop at 7-Eleven for condoms.’

‘Awkward.’

‘I know. I skulked around outside while Evan went in. I’m in my thirties and I’m still embarrassed every time.’

‘You should add them to your weekly shop … that way they get buried amongst the toothpaste, bread and potatoes.’

‘I’ll try to remember that.’

‘I’m proud of you, you know?’

‘Why?’ Maddie passed the red onion to Ally to chop.

‘Well, because it’s taken a long time for you to get to the place you’re at now. I think you can finally see there is still a life out there for you, and it has more to offer than you realised.’

She was right of course. Maddie could see a future with Evan.

The girls spent the evening swapping stories about the men in their lives, Ally showed Maddie pictures of where she was going for the weekend and they swooned at Josh Lucas in
Sweet Home Alabama
.

When Ally left, Maddie pulled her phone from the depths of her bag. Her tummy flipped when she saw she had four missed calls from Evan – she had forgotten to take it off silent mode when she left work. She felt a rush of excitement at the thought of Evan’s body against hers, the warmth of his tongue inside her mouth. She listened to the messages with a big grin on her face; it had to be a booty call, didn’t it?

The first message was a normal, upbeat Evan asking her to call him back; the second was the same. The third was a hang up but the fourth made her freeze. He told her it didn’t matter what time of the night it was, he had to speak to her. And she knew what this meant. It meant the operation was scheduled; he was a step closer to learning his fate.

Her hand shook as she pressed call, but he picked up the second it connected.

‘Maddie, I … I …’

Her voice shook as she spoke. ‘Come over. Please, come over.’

He arrived fifteen minutes later and she fell into his arms.

‘It’s tomorrow, the operation is tomorrow,’ he said.

‘But it can’t be, don’t you have to see a specialist, an anaesthetist, have checks?’ It was all happening too fast.

‘It’s classed as a minor operation.’ He rolled his eyes indicating that it was anything but ‘minor’ for him. ‘It’s only a day procedure, so I just turn up in the morning. At least I won’t have to stay overnight, I guess. I can be back in my own bed by the afternoon if all goes to plan.’

Maddie led him by the hand into the bedroom. They undressed perfunctorily, in comparison to the night before when they hadn’t been able to get one another’s clothes off quickly enough, and climbed underneath the duvet where he wrapped his body around hers as though she was the one going under the knife. He held her tightly into the night and she knew she was in deep: too deep to back out, too deep to protect her from the world of hurt that could be looming. It was like Riley all over again except in slow motion with a warning beacon. Evan was her second chance and she had fallen head over heels in love with him, and the beacon would do nothing to lessen the pain if he was taken from her.

*

Evan took a taxi to the hospital the next morning. When Maddie had woken at the sound of his alarm, he silenced her with a kiss and told her he would be in touch when it was all over.

He hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since before midnight, and as the taxi pulled into the car park at Huntley hospital he felt nauseous, shaky. Terrified of what lay ahead, Evan took a few deep breaths before crossing the threshold, leaving the world outside where people went about their everyday business, entering the place that was about to forever change his world.  He repeated over and over in his head that everything would be fine, this needed to happen; it was a good thing he was having the operation and he would finally know whether it was cancer or not.

He handed over his details to the receptionist, and everything felt like it was happening to someone else as he robotically completed the requisite forms and then took a seat in the waiting area. He watched a man being wheeled to the chairs set at a right angle to where he was. He was all dopey-eyed and greeted by a woman Evan presumed must be his wife. He wondered what the man had been in for. Did they do a bulk round of orchidectomies? Or was it something entirely different? Perhaps it was an appendectomy, the lucky bugger.

Evan felt the itch again on his balls, the itch that had been there on and off for the last few days. He tried to discreetly rid himself of it without the nurse sitting behind the dimly lit desk clocking him touching himself. He suspected the itch could just be his imagination playing tricks on him, cruelly reminding him that his manhood was still intact for now, but not for much longer.

Strangely enough he hadn’t felt the itch when he was at Maddie’s last night. It had been a weird night in comparison to the previous one where they had been hungry for one another with an urgency that made a space shuttle launch seem slow. Last night had been intimate in a different sense and it was a first for him. He wondered what his mates would think of him going to bed with an incredibly hot girl and not even making a move. He laughed inside at the irony. 

A hand on his shoulder made him jump. ‘Ben? What are you doing here?’ He looked around expecting to see Holly and Ava too.

‘Relax, mate. The girls are still tucked up in bed. Ava’s come down with a cold so no kindy for her today, and Holly, well she’s in bits worrying about her brother after his brief phone call to say, “By the way sis, I’m having an operation tomorrow.”’

‘I had to tell her that it was happening.’

‘I think she wanted you to come over and spend the night, so you weren’t alone.’ Ben took the seat next to his brother-in-law. ‘You know it took all her strength not to tell your mum last night when she called.’

‘I can imagine.’

‘Did she call you too?’

He nodded. ‘I didn’t pick up. I couldn’t.’ Martha had called when he was sitting beside the phone trying Maddie’s number over and over, only to get her voicemail.

‘You should’ve come over to our place last night,’ said Ben.

‘I don’t think I could’ve handled the whole goodbye-and-good-luck-ceremony, like I was going off to war or something.’

‘You’re not wrong there.’ Ben smirked. ‘Holly would’ve done a whole big dinner, dessert, the works. And besides, there’s plenty of time for you to come over once this is out of the way.’

Evan caught a waft of coffee as Ben spoke. ‘Blimey, back off! I’d almost kill for a coffee right now, you know.’ He mockingly wrung his brother-in-law’s neck. ‘Seriously, what I’d do right now for a strong, double shot. And one of those mouth-watering cinnamon muffins from the coffee shop …’

‘Spoken truly by a man held in limbo; a man in pre-op non-eating, non-drinking mode.’

‘Couldn’t have said it better myself. So did Holly send you? Where’s your suit, aren’t you on the way to work?’

‘Evan, I know you don’t want me to get all mushy, so I won’t, but Holly didn’t suggest this. We’ve been mates from the moment I met your sister, and you’re like a brother to me, so I wasn’t going to let you do this on your own. I know you asked for me to be there to take you home when it’s all done, but I figured you could use some support beforehand too.’