Halo (Blood and Fire Series (A Young Adult Dystopian Series)) (27 page)

“He doesn’t need me.”

“You both need each other,” she corrects. “I have to say, I thought you would be the first to realise that, not Ry.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means what it means,” she says breezily, scanning the people around us. We’re waiting for August. He has lists of supplies Jack asked us to collect before nightfall; the smith is organising a weapons market before the matches start, giving the fighters the opportunity to purchase new weapons and trade in old ones. Apparently the markets bring in a lot of trade from outside Freetown, and I can’t help but worry. Somehow, August’s daggers found their way to me inside the Sanctuary. There’s every chance someone from Lockdown will be attending the markets. Bad news for me. Bad news for everyone here if I’m recognised and Jack refuses to let them take me. I’ve agreed to keep a low profile when the fights are on, sticking to my tent. Definitely for the best, in my mind. Olivia’s acceptance ritual is taking place right after the matches, and I don’t want say goodbye, anyway.

“He’s here,” Olivia says, craning her neck to see over the crowds. “Callum’s with him.”

“Callum? Max’s brother?”

“He’s August’s apprentice. He’ll be selling his own knives this market. First time, I think.”

August and Callum make their way though the thrum of people, and Callum looks righteously annoyed by the time we greet them. He obviously cares for large groups of people as much as I do. We shoot each other consolatory glances by way of greeting. August shakes my hand. “Hello, Kit. How are you treating those blades of mine?”

I lift the hem of my shirt and show him my gleaming daggers, freshly cleaned, sharpened and polished. Old habits are hard to break.

“Good girl.” He swipes an arm around me and pulls me into a rough hug. The man smells like smoke and the earth, strangely comforting, honest smells. “You should come by and see me later. I have something for you.”
My halo
. Ryka’s angry expression invades my mind, and I have to fight to push it out. “Here are the supplies I need,” August says, fishing a dirty piece of paper from his pocket. He hands it over and thanks us for meeting him. “I’ll see you later, Kit, yes?”

“Sure.”

He showcases his blackened front tooth in a broad smile before slapping Callum on the back. “All right, son. Consider your work day over. Go and do something downright mischievous with these two young ladies.”

Callum’s cheeks blush red first, then Olivia’s. Figuring out why takes a while, by which time August’s laughing so hard tears are practically rolling down his face. It’s a long time for him to marshal himself. “I didn’t mean it like that, but I can see your young minds aren’t so young anymore. Whatever blows your hair back.” He winks and I finally blush, too.

“That man lives to destroy my social credibility,” Callum declares, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The small black lines on his arms are on display today, terminating just above his elbow. Turns out Callum’s pretty badass, even if he’s only just made it to Tamji. “Come on,” Callum says. “Max mentioned something about a Claiming down by the river this afternoon.”

Olivia’s eyes light up. She claps her hands together and giggles, bouncing next to me until she realises I’m nowhere near as excited as she is. “You people are so unromantic,” she pouts, slapping my arm. Once again, I find myself thinking just how
un
romantic a Claiming sounds.

The throngs of people grow thicker as we approach the waterfront close to the tent I stayed in when I first arrived in Freetown. The familiar area brings back none of the sentimentality I already feel for my new tent. Swarms of young women have gathered, eyes heavily kohled, flowers woven into their hair, and they all talk behind their hands, whispering to one another. Groups of men, both young and old, look on with poorly veiled amusement, as the women chatter and scan the faces around them. I frown and lean into Callum so he can hear me over the rumble of voices.

“Which girl is being Claimed?”

He shakes his head. “Don’t know yet. No one will know until the guy calls out the Claim.”

“So she could have no idea?”

Callum says this is so, and Olivia shakes next to me, all ill-contained energy. “How can you not think that’s romantic? Imagine if it was you. Wouldn’t that be amazing, for someone to stand up and say that they want to be partnered with you in front of the Gods forever, for everyone to see?”

“No.” I shudder at the thought. “How are you supposed to say no if you don’t like the guy? There’s so much pressure
―
all these people staring at you.” It would basically be my worst nightmare.

Olivia shoves me playfully, and Callum’s hand goes to the small of my back as I stumble into him. “Steady,” he laughs. His breath tickles the bare skin on the back of my neck, and I jump at the unexpected sensation. Eyes wide, I glare at Olivia, but she is oblivious.

“Wait, look, there’s Max! Hey, Max!” she calls. Max doesn’t see us. Oddly, he looks quite green, and a tall man with a shock of grey hair is talking to him intensely.

“What’s my dad doing here?” Callum says, stepping around me so he can see his brother better. A small frown creases his brow. The tall man places both hands on Max’s shoulders and Max nods. Callum’s frown deepens. “Oh,” he says. Now he’s the one with wide eyes. “
Oh.
”

A look of horror forms on Olivia’s face as Max takes a step back from his father and takes a deep breath. Suddenly it’s as though everyone around Max realises he’s about to do something. Groups cut short their conversations, elbowing those around them until a silence spreads throughout the crowd by the water. Olivia can’t seem to look away from Max. Callum covers his eyes with his hand, as though he can block out what’s about to happen, but he can’t. His twin inhales, his chest rising sharply, before he shouts out, “I make a Claim!”

The last word echoes through the crowd as a hundred different girls all repeat it. Everyone but Olivia and me.
 
Her face is ashen. She staggers backwards and reaches out for my hand. “I can’t do this,” she whispers. “How could he? He knows I’m joining the priestesses. I can’t back out now. I can’t accept him. This is…this is
cruel
,” she stammers.

It
is
cruel. I feel foolish for having just remarked on how hard it would be to say no to someone in front of all these people. Olivia is about to find out how hard. Callum just keeps shaking his head. His hand has slipped from his eyes, now covering his mouth instead.

“I don’t think
―
” he begins, but before he can say anything else, Max shouts again.

“I make a Claim before the Gods. I say the words, with an open heart, on my knees, I pray that the woman I choose accepts me. I Claim Simone Altern for my wife. I challenge all who would
―
”

All I can hear is my own heartbeat in my ears. That and the subtle, pained gasp that comes out of Olivia’s mouth.
 
“What did he just say?” I breathe.

“Simone,” Olivia whimpers. As she backs away from the gathering, Simone, the girl Ryka whispered to at the bonfire, steps out of the crowd and places a small, pale hand into Max’s. I stagger backwards after Olivia just as Max looks up. He’s not looking at me, though. He looks past me, straight at Olivia. Clenching his jaw, he swallows hard and then turns back to Simone. It’s almost visible how hard it was for him to do it. But it’s done. Callum sighs as everyone else around us starts cheering.

“I’m so sorry, Livy,” he says. Olivia is well past hearing; she’s running, tearing and shoving to get by all of the people pressing forward to congratulate Max and Simone. I run after her, giving her space to decide which direction to go in, although it seems like she’s just running with no thought as to where she ends up. Eventually we hit the boundary of forest, the town’s sprawling madness behind us, and she collapses. Carefully, I sit next to her and just let her cry.

“Did that just really happen?” she gasps. The way she clutches at her chest, it’s as though it’s physically hurting.

“Yeah, I think it did.” My voice is so quiet, I barely hear it myself.

“How is this my life?” she wheezes. “How is this my life?” I scoot closer to her and place my hand on her back. That’s all it takes; Olivia throws herself into my arms and clings onto me, her slim body shaking with the force of her tears. I rub my hand up and down her back, stroking her hair.

“I thought…I thought he was going to Claim
me
,” she sobs. I hold her tighter and for the first time I finally see what it looks like to be heartbroken. I pray that all I have to do is see it. It seems to me that feeling what Olivia feels right now would be worse than dying.

******

“Is she okay?” Ryka wears a troubled grimace, one I think I have etched into my own face.

“Kind of. She’s asleep,” I tell him. He tucks his hair behind his ears and gestures behind me. He seems nervous. I don’t ask him in, I just move back so he can slide past me through the narrowing opening. He casts his eyes around briefly, taking everything in. The voile divider in my tent has been tied back, so he can see his sister passed out under the covers in my bed. Her blonde hair is fanned out across the pillow, and she almost looks peaceful. Her swollen eyelids tell a different story once you get up close. Ryka stares down at her for a second before sitting carefully on the edge of the bed at her side.

“She cried for weeks when our mother went missing,” he says softly. “She looked just like this, only smaller.” It doesn’t feel right that I’m here for this. It seems like a personal moment, one Ryka should spend with his sister alone. But he keeps on talking. “She’d crawl into my bed back then. Looks like she’s found someone more reliable to comfort her these days.” He gives me a smile that’s altogether boyish and apologetic. “Thank you, Kit. Thanks for looking after her.”

I have no idea what to say, so I shrug my shoulders. Ryka brushes his hand slowly against Olivia’s hair and then stands up. “Do you mind just letting her sleep here? She might not want to deal with me and Jack just yet.”

“Sure. It’s not
―
” I pause as Ryka stoops down to gently draw the holostick out from underneath my pillow. “It’s not a problem,” I finish clearing my throat.

“You still watching this?” he asks me, curling his fingers around the small square.

“Yeah. Sometimes.”

He nods. Slipping it back under the pillow, he straightens and then looks at me, his eyes distant. “You miss him still?”

I can’t answer for a moment. It takes longer than it should to find my voice. “I don’t really know anymore. Every time I think about Cai these days, it’s about the day he died. It’s like nothing really existed for me before that.”

Ryka’s chin dips towards his chest. He pulls in a deep breath, a brisk sound. “He sacrificed himself for you, didn’t he?”

My mouth falls open. “I never said that. He—I—”

“No, but…come on, Kit. I saw the way he looked when he was talking about being with you. How scared he was that you wouldn’t want him. He loved you, even with your halo. It’s pretty obvious he would have died to save you. Hey, are you okay?” Ryka’s at my side in a heartbeat, placing his hand tentatively at my back, the same way Callum did earlier down by the river at the Claiming. I feel like I’m going to throw up. An image of Cai’s face, blood trickling from his mouth as he looks up at me, dying, burns in my mind. His pale, cracked lips open and his voice is a whispered accusation. ‘
You did this to me.’

I blink back tears, straightening out my shirt. “Yeah, it just hits me sometimes. I think I need some air.” I back out of the tent and draw the cool air into my lungs, willing myself not to let this guilt crush me.

“I’m not very good at it, but you can talk to me, you know?” Ryka murmurs.

I swallow and cup the back of my neck with my hand, not looking at him. Jada emerges out of the tree line and creeps forward stealthily, tongue lolling as ever. She thrusts her head under my hand, wanting to be stroked.

“Or you can talk to Jada,” he adds. “She’s pretty trustworthy. Never told anyone my secrets, anyway.”

I allow myself a small smile. “Seems like you tell it pretty straight, Ryka. I somehow doubt you’re keeping many secrets.”

“I have tons,” he shoots back. “More than I care to count.”

I
mmm
doubtfully, scratching Jada behind her ears. She seems to like that. Cai’s face is gone now, although who knows how long the reprieve will be. When I look up, Ryka is watching me pet Jada.

“She likes you,” he says.

“You sound surprised.”

“I’m not. My sister’s a good judge of character. If Liv likes you that pretty much means everyone else will. Including my fickle dog.” He whistles softly and Jada pricks her ears at the sound.

“And you?” I ask.

He smiles. “Seriously?”

I nod, and his mouth pulls up to one side in a way that makes my heart race. He looks wicked.

“Well, we’re friends. In that weird way where you’re eternally mad at me, and I’m eternally imagining what you look like naked.”

“What!” I go to slap his arm but he ducks out of reach, grinning. From the way my insides react to his words, it feels like I’ve swallowed something entirely too hot. Is this normal? Is this what liking someone feels like? It’s confusing and frustrating and frankly—okay, I’ll admit it—kind of wonderful. But what the hell am I supposed to do with that? How do I change who I am, sixteen years of fighting, a life of blood? How do I trade in all that confrontation for something a little sweeter? I think it’s probably too late.

“I really didn’t do myself any favours when I met you, did I? You still don’t trust me?” Ryka tips his head forward, smiling ruefully at his feet when I shake my head. “In that case I suppose it’s pointless asking if you’ve fallen in love with me yet?”

The boy is determined to make me die a death this evening. It’s all I can do not to choke as I shake my head. “Sadly, no. I don’t think I want to kill you anymore, though. So there’s that.”

In the moonlight, Ryka’s eyes bow as he smiles broadly. “There
is
that. We’ll have to see what we can do to change your mind, though. I’ve never been very good at waiting for anything I want.” He shoves me gently with his shoulder and my heart stumbles.