Had To Be You (45 page)

“And have you decided what you’re going to do next?”

“Well, I have rent due. And my job waiting for me—I hope.” She pursed her lips as gestured listlessly with her hands. “Just two of about a thousand reasons why I should have been on my way back to New York weeks ago.”

It figured that, the one time she didn’t want to run from Matt, everything in her life would conspire to make it impossible for her to stay. The difference was that this time, Rory finally understood with heartbreaking clarity what she would be leaving behind. Perhaps this was her cosmic payback. Karma biting her in the ass, forcing her to look back and realize how easily she could have had everything she ever wanted, and it had been right in front of her the whole time.

“Kevin—you know we’re waiting.” Jill gave him a pointed look.

“I really don’t know what to say,” he admitted. “Matt’s my brother, but I really can’t see into his mind. Honestly, I’ve been questioning his actions myself, for a while now, ever since he got engaged to Amanda in the first place.” He met Rory’s eyes. “I do think you should talk to him.”

“Unfortunately, that would involve him actually listening,” she replied with a wry, sad smile.

This was the real question she was left with. Was love really lost to her and Matt, or was it just that he didn’t want to find it again?

Sadly enough, her answer would be the same either way.

***

The small bell chimed out as Rory stepped inside the small coffee shop. Two lines of people stretched across the hardwood floor in front of each register, most in swimsuits and flip flops, probably on their way to or from the beach.

She ducked her head to dig through her bag as her line inched forward. This was one of those quaint little local businesses that didn’t accept debit or credit cards. She wasn’t really in the habit of carrying cash and hoped she could scrape together enough change.

“Can I help you, miss?”

“Um, yes.” She hesitated, still trying to dig up more quarters. “I’ll have a—”

“Large iced coffee.”

Her expression stilled, caught up short by the unmistakable voice, flooded with memories, frozen by the knowledge it was him.

“Excuse me, miss? What was that?”

Matt glanced over at that moment to catch her gaze, one eyebrow arching up in wary surprise. They both quickly turned away, refocusing attention on their coffee orders. He produced some bills from his wallet with a stiff inclination of his head.

“I’ve got hers, too.”

“No, I’m good. Thanks.” Rory thrust her arm out in front of his offering, trying not to be too embarrassed that it was just a fistful of change. Her heart was beating so rapidly she felt shaky and short of breath, almost afraid she might drop the coffee to the floor as they passed it over.

Matt edged away and slowly wandered off to the side to get out of line, lingering by the doors to wait for her approach. “So…when did you get home?” he asked.

“Last week,” she said, one corner of her mouth lifting into the weak impression of a smile.

He glanced away on a short, humorless laugh. “Thanks for stopping by. Guess I must have missed all your calls.”

“I really didn’t think you’d be waiting.”

When he brought his gaze back to hers, Rory wasn’t sure what she saw there, hidden in the deep, shadowed blue. Or maybe she just didn’t want to see it.

“Yeah, well, guess I’ll see you around.” Sipping on his straw, he pushed the coffee shop door open with one shoulder.

For a moment, she assumed he was just going to disappear through it. Instead he hesitated, propping it open to the soft morning breeze.

“Thank you,” she said politely, covering a quiet sigh as she stepped past him to go outside.

She had been anticipating this moment with a mix of so many emotions. Yet now, as they readied to part, she was left only with that sad, empty feeling that accompanies every missed chance. Every time you had the opportunity to do or say what you really wanted to do or say, but you only let it pass. It was a feeling with which she was becoming endlessly familiar.

Pausing on the brick sidewalk, she glanced back at him.

“I wanted to call, you know.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I guess I didn’t know what to say,” she admitted.

“‘Hi, Matt’
—that’s usually a good place to start,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up just slightly as he sipped on his straw.

Rory hesitated on the verge of a slow smile, feeling the warm rush of something move through her chest, spreading out to the tips of her fingers, something beyond just the glow of summer sunlight.

“Hi, Matt.”

His eyes resting on hers, he smiled as well.

“Hello.”

THIRTY-FIVE

The air was thick with sunlight, pressing down on him as Matt made his way through town from his apartment to the bar. Everything seemed to move in slow motion on hot, humid summer afternoons like this, under the weight of water.

It was going to be a busy night, the weather far too uncomfortable for people to stay home. And one of those people was going to be her.

His brother Kevin texted him to let him know that, at Jill’s insistence, a bunch of them were taking Trevor out for a few drinks to celebrate his new fatherhood status. Even with just the suggestion that Rory might be included, Matt instantly felt that clutch in his chest.

An hour later, actually watching her walk into the bar, he couldn’t quite keep his eyes off her. He was drawn away from what he was doing by the way her hair cascaded in perfect silky layers down her back, lapsing into these trance-like states in the middle of conversations with customers just to see her smile or the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed.

He didn’t know if her recent declarations made him see her in a different light, or if being in her close proximity this summer had simply worn him down to the point he could no longer pretend he wasn’t completely enraptured. This was the easy part, however—worshipping her from afar. He’d done it for years, perfected it even. It was the up-close-and-personal that was the tricky part.

As expected, they had a crowd, most searching for an air-conditioned place near the harbor breezes to have a cold beer and get some relief. Even working side-by-side with Luke, it was difficult to keep up with the demand. It didn’t help that he couldn’t keep his focus.

He nearly dropped an entire bottle of vodka when she simply got up to use the ladies’ room, glancing at him on her way.

This was ridiculous, of course. Matt knew that. He knew that all he would have to do was suggest they talk about it, give it a chance, and she would probably be sharing a bed, and so much more, with him tonight. That’s just how it worked. There was no taking it slowly or feeling their way along, probably because they both knew the way by heart.

It was, to say the least, a well-traveled and familiar road.

Yet it seemed it was always all or nothing with them. And every moment with her felt like both a beginning and an end. Of what, he wasn’t sure—everything, maybe. The problem, as always, was tomorrow. When it eventually came around, as it always did, would she be gone?

When she returned from the restrooms, he was in the middle of mixing a few margaritas. Instead of making a direct line back to the others, she traveled diagonally across the main bar through the crowd.

He noticed her pause in front of the jukebox, fingertips lightly tapping the glass as she bowed her head as if to study the selections within. Almost immediately, a guy standing nearby broke away from his group to chat her up. Even though it was pretty much to be expected, it still pissed Matt off.

He was briefly glad for the distraction of the busy bar, and tried to focus only on getting drinks poured and delivered as quickly as he could. The music and melody drifted through the cacophony of voices, but it sounded like the typical alt-rock stuff she’d liked when she was in college.

Then the selection switched to something older, more familiar. This one stopped him short.

Clenching his jaw, Matt felt a strange painful thud inside his chest, and it swiftly sank to his gut. He knew the song by heart—every single broken piece of it.

It was a low blow, Bono.

Turning his head slightly, his dark gaze followed her as she moved through the crowd as if in slow motion, completely separate from it. She lifted her hand once, brushing the hair back off her face, and in that instant their eyes met.

Suddenly, she disappeared, stopped short in the midst of a large crowd, her progress somehow impeded. Tilting his head, craning his neck slightly, Matt narrowed his eyes in concern when he realized there was actually someone blocking her way.

The guy, a different one this time, stepped directly into her path, offering what appeared to be his version of a charming introduction. Rory responded with one of her famously cool looks, barely giving him the time of day. She obviously wasn’t interested in buying whatever he was selling, yet when she tried to step aside and continue on, he suddenly reached out, grasping onto her arm to stop her.

Now, why did he have to go and do something like that when Matt could have been so reasonable about the whole thing?

“Be right back,” he said, hopping over his end of the bar in one swift movement.

The customers waiting for their drinks just watched him go, mouths agape.

“Are you kidding me here?” Luke laughed helplessly, left three orders deep in beer.

He quickly edged through the wall of people and slowed to a stop. Up close, Matt realized the guy looked to be a bodybuilder, and was surrounded by three or four other muscle-head friends.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

Rory, of course, had already shrugged him off. Matt had no doubt she could take care of herself, but as far as he was concerned the damage was already done.

“Yes, thank you.” She started back in the direction of the others, but paused to give him a brief, pointed look. “I’m fine, really, Matt.”

He only nodded. When she disappeared back into the crowd, brushing past him, he detected just a trace of that faint, clean perfume that was uniquely hers. Even that fleeting moment of proximity left him with a lingering, empty ache.

He had a feeling it might hurt less to be pummeled by this group.

The guy made an attempt to head to the bar. Matt shifted his position slightly, blocking access. As expected, he frowned in annoyance.

“You wanna excuse me, please?”

“Hold up just a minute.” Matt reached out to place a hand his chest, which was solid as granite, and tilted his head. “If I could offer a little friendly advice? I’d suggest you give it up, because that’s not gonna happen.”

The guy only snorted, looking to his friends to laugh, but obviously knew exactly what he was talking about. “What makes you so sure?”

“Because,” Matt drew out each word with careful precision, “I’m
telling
you that’s not gonna happen. And you’re not going to touch her again, do we understand each other?”

Something changed in the guy’s expression, maybe only a momentary lapse of intimidation. “If you’re getting in my face right now, you should know I have my boys with me. And they would welcome the opportunity to blow off a little steam, if you catch my drift. So, I’d think about that if I were you.”

“And if I were you?” Matt regarded him calmly, his response almost nonchalant. “I would think carefully about the fact that I’m well aware of that, and yet here I am.” His smile darkened. “Still in your face. Let’s think about what that means, shall we?”

The guy gave him a shifty-eyed glare as he set his jaw.

“Now, I can see you’re obviously considering your options here,” Matt chuckled, but there was no humor in his demeanor. “Yet I can assure you it’s all gonna end the same way.”

The front doors opened up, another group spilling into the bar. The guy seemed to use the brief break in tension as an escape, shooting back one last wary look as he skulked away. Frowning, Matt headed back to his post. He really needed to get a grip here. He felt about ready to explode.

He supposed he could say that he was trying to protect her honor, looking out for a friend receiving some unwanted attention, but he knew that would really only be kidding himself. Because all that had motivated Matt in that moment was pure, unadulterated jealousy. He didn’t feel like he was seeing a friend being harassed or bothered. He felt like he was watching someone hit on his girlfriend.

It was too busy for him to take even another minute out of his night, so he was somewhat surprised and disappointed when everyone started shuffling out. Trevor stopped to shake his hand and thank him, as they all enjoyed plenty of rounds on the house.

Rory followed, presumably to say her goodnight as well. Matt knew it was time—they had to talk about this before he drove himself crazy. Their gazes caught and held as she approached, though his was torn away too soon.

“Matt! There you are!”

He turned, and was greeted by an expansive display of cleavage. His smile, in the middle of making a tentative appearance, evaporated instantly. It was the birthday blonde from last week.

“Oh, hey…you.”

“Leah?” she reminded him cheerfully. “I was hoping to run into you tonight!”

He only nodded, feeling a rising sense of apprehension, sensing Rory’s eyes on them. If hoping to run into him, his bar would certainly be a good place to start.

“Anyway, I think I may have done the dumbest thing the other night when I was here,” Leah laughed. “Must have been all those shots we did! I think I actually gave you my home telephone number instead of my cell. I hope you didn’t call and leave a message and think I blew you off or something.”

If there could be an example of picture-perfect timing, this one should be matted and framed.