Gut Feeling (20 page)

‘Brov, what happened?’

‘Fuck knows… Last time I spoke to her I was at work. She was gonna come back here to get a DVD. I rang her later and one of her mates swore at me and put the phone down. So I headed over to her flat… Rachel was outside and shouted abuse at me along with Sassy’s name then drove off… what is going on?’

Dave looked at the floor, trying to retrace the day back in his head before looking up at Issi who had gone pale, looking sheepish.

‘What’s up, Issi?’ Dave scowled at her.

‘Oh God!’ said Issi, suddenly connecting the telephone conversation and noise she had heard.

‘What?’

‘Oh God!’

‘What, for God’s sake, what?’

‘Oh God, I think I know what happened.’

‘What? Tell me what happened.’

‘I think what may have happened was when Ash came back to get the DVD, she overheard me talking to a workmate on my phone. I heard a noise. Thought it was one of you two but no one was there.’

‘What you saying, Iss?’

‘I think she misheard my conversation about that night Sassy was here.’

Dave walked off down the hallway to the front room, arms stretched up to the back of his head, trying not to explode with anger. All he now needed to do was explain the full story of what had really happened that night to Ash. He heard the front door shut and walked over to the window, looking down to see Issi a few moments later walking off up the road.

‘Dave, mate, she didn’t do it on purpose.’

‘Yeah I know.’ Dave watched her walk away till she was out of sight.

‘What you gonna do?’

Dave shrugged his shoulders, still looking out the window. Peter handed Dave his mobile and nodded.

‘I’ve tried. It’s switched off.’

‘Leave a message.’

‘I was going to, but she has switched that off too.’

‘And she ain’t at home?’

‘Na, probably at Rachel’s but I don’t know where she lives.’

‘So what are you gonna do?’

‘Don’t know—go to her work tomorrow. See if she will speak to me.’

Chapter 16

A
sh woke up early, staring up at the ceiling, eyes fixed on a small blob of BluTack above the bed. She could hear Rachel whispering to Gemma outside the door before leaving for work. Ash closed her eyes, feeling a tear roll down her cheek on to the pillow; she clutched her stomach, curling up into a ball on her side. The door slowly opened and Gemma walked over to see a tearful face looking up at her from under the bedsheets. Gemma didn’t say anything, just sat next to her stroking her hair, knowing full well that nothing could take the pain away; only time would heal that. All she could do was be there for her.

After Ash had finally got up, Gemma suggested a stroll up the road to get some food shopping in for Rachel. Outside it was overcast and not as hot as it had been over the last few days; schoolchildren were still on summer holidays and had taken over the local park with footballs, skateboards, rollerblades and general noisy-happy, irritating mayhem. Ash didn’t say a word as they walked through the park. All she could do was concentrate on not crying, studying the grass as it passed under her feet.

Just as they reached the other side, away from the noise, Ash heard her phone ringing in her pocket; pulling it out to answer, hoping it was not Dave, she looked down at the screen.

‘It’s my work.’

‘Don’t answer it.’

‘Did Rachel call them this morning?’

‘Yeah, they’re probably seeing how you are. You can call them later.’

‘Yeah, you’re right.’ She put the phone back in her pocket.

After a quick shop in the local convenience store, the girls walked back through the park, struggling to hold all the shopping bags. They stopped to rest on a bench at the top of the park, away from the noise of the children. Ash’s phone rang again. Jumping, she wondered if it had been such a good idea to switch it back on today. Hoping again that it wasn’t Dave, she saw Eliza’s number flashing up on the screen. Concerned as to why she was calling, Ash looked at Gemma, not knowing what to do.

‘Who’s that?’

‘The dentist I work with.’

‘Don’t answer.’

‘But it’s her private number and she is a friend.’

Gemma shrugged. ‘It’s up to you.’

Ash stood up, walking away slightly. ‘Hello.’

‘Ash it’s me,’ said Eliza. ‘Are you OK?’

‘Er…’ Ash hesitated, trying to think of something to say but not wanting to lie.

‘Look, Ash, I know you are not ill.’

‘You do?’

‘Mr Matson was here today.’

Ash gasped. Mr Matson was the principal of the practice.

‘Oh no, the one time I call in sick the principal is there.’

‘That’s not the problem.’

‘What’s the problem?’ Ash looked over at where Gemma sat on the bench with a worried look on her face.

‘Dave is.’

Ash’s stomach clenched at the sound of his name. Gemma quickly walked over then guided her back to the bench to sit down before she fell over.

‘Why? What has he got to do with it?’

‘He came to see you. Mr Matson was at reception and overheard.’

‘So… what does that matter?’

‘Well… now don’t get stressed. But at some point he must have bumped into Samantha.’

‘What? I don’t understand what you are saying.’

‘Samantha then told Mr Matson that Dave was looking for you because you two had an argument and you are not sick.’

‘Oh great, so he thinks I have faked a sicky because of a row with my boyfriend.’

‘You have,’ she laughed slightly. ‘Are you OK, Ash? What has happened between you two?’

Ash explained the whole thing. Then putting the phone down to Eliza, she burst into sobs. She felt as if throughout her entire adult life she had tried to look out for others and yet she had nothing to show for her efforts except heartache.

‘Ash, honey, it will be OK. They can’t just sack you.’

‘I know, but it’s still bad of me.’

‘You had a good reason.’

Ash wiped her eyes and sat up, looking at Gemma.

‘I think I’m going to leave.’

Gemma stared at her, puzzled. ‘What do you mean leave?’

Ash didn’t answer. She stood up then walked slowly towards the children playing in a nearby playground. She stopped at the edge of the grass, standing on the concrete path kicking at the loose stones.

Behind her, Gemma struggled with all the bags. ‘Ash,’ she panted, putting them down.

Ash turned to her, looking slightly distant.

‘Ash, what do you mean leave?’

‘England. Leave England.’

Gemma’s face drained of its colour at the thought of losing her friend for a second time.

‘Look, let’s walk back to the flat and have some lunch. See how you feel after that, eh?’

* * *

Dave walked into the yard, hot, bothered and clean out of any ideas as to how he could contact Ash. Pulling his phone from his pocket he dialled Ash’s number, expecting it to be switched off.

To his amazement the phone rang. He panicked for a moment, not expecting to hear the ringtone. He listened, hoping for an answer which did not come nor did her answerphone message recording; instead it just rang and rang. Deflated, Dave pressed the reject button on his phone. Looking up, he saw his brother standing over him.

‘Did you see her?’

‘She called in sick. What do I do now?’

‘Look, she obviously wants to be on her own right now. And a job has just come up, but it’s in Cumbria so that means we will be away for three days.’ Peter waited for a reaction. Dave stood up, walking off in the direction of the portacabin.

His brother followed him inside, pulling up a chair and sitting down at the desk opposite.

‘Dave, there’s nothing you can do if she doesn’t wanna see you… Why don’t you drop a note through her door before we go?’

‘Yeah, you’re probably right, mate. So when are we leaving?’

‘Tonight.’

‘Why?’

‘The bloke needs it done by Thursday. It’s OK, the job’s been priced accordingly.’

Dave sighed. Money was the least of worries. He leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the desk. What a mess over something so stupid, he thought.

* * *

Rachel did not get home until gone 9 pm that night to find Ash, Gemma, Jules and Leon sitting in the garden with one empty bottle of wine plus another half-drunk bottle being poured out. She looked around the patio where they all sat, noticing that her patio floor lights had been fixed, and were shining slightly under the early evening light. Gemma noticed her looking and proceeded to explain proudly how she had fixed them. Rachel beamed at the sight of her lights working again and bounced back inside to change out of her work clothes. Not long afterwards she wandered back out to the garden, joining the others and sitting down next to Ash.

‘How are you bearing up, Ash?’

Ash gave half a smile, taking a sip of wine. ‘I spoke to my sister in New York today.’

‘Oh really? How is she?’

‘Yeah good.’ Ash looked sheepish, finding it difficult to hold Rachel’s stare.

‘So what have I missed?’ Rachel looked round at everyone for some kind of explanation as to the sudden change in atmosphere.

‘She’s flying out first thing.’

‘OK! So why are you looking funny at me?’

‘Rach… I may be going to… go back with her. To live.’

‘
What!
’ Rachel jumped out of her seat, screaming at the top of her voice every reason why she should not leave. After a good minute or two she sat down again, looking around the table at everyone’s faces staring back at her in amazement.

‘Well, we didn’t think you’d go that cuckoo,’ Leon remarked, though he himself was equally upset at Ash’s decision.

‘Ash, please don’t do this,’ Rachel was shaking, but the tone of her voice had returned to normal.

Ash swallowed, placing a hand on Rachel’s leg. ‘Rach, calm down honey, I said
possibly
. That could mean for a holiday.’

‘Don’t patronise me Ash. I’m not a child.’

Ash wriggled nervously around on her chair, with the others staring at her and wondering how she would get out of this one. ‘Nothing is set in stone but things don’t seem to be working for me here.’

‘
We
work,’ Rachel’s voice had risen again.

Ash gave a small laugh. ‘Yeah, we work—all of us work.’

‘So then don’t go.’

Silence fell around the table. Ash didn’t have a reply—well, not a truthful one anyway. Leon looked at Jules with an odd apprehensive look. Jules nodded as if in agreement; he stood up, scanning the table for everyone’s attention then cleared his throat to speak.

‘I have something to tell you.’

Rachel threw her hands up in the air. ‘Don’t tell me you’re bloody moving countries too.’

Ash swung her head around to look at Rachel. ‘I said
possibly
. Possibly means not set in stone Remember.’

‘OK, Ash, OK. Leon, sorry, tell us your news,’ Rachel apologised sarcastically.

Leon took a quick sip of wine placing it back on the table with everybody watching him intensely. ‘I am moving to France.’

‘
You
are
fucking
joking
me
,’ Rachel stood, and then with her hands on her head, she paced the length of the patio.

Leon started laughing so hard he was practically doubled over in his chair.

‘Leon, that’s not fair. Tell them the truth.’ Jules shot him an ice-cold look.

‘What?’ Rachel stopped dead in her tracks. ‘That is not funny, you twat.’

‘Alright sorry—bad joke. Sit down Rach, I think you will need to for this.’

They all sat still, waiting for him to speak again.

‘I am gay. Well… bisexual I think more than gay because I do like women still.’

Silence fell over the table. Ash looked at Gemma smiling. As Gemma didn’t know Leon as well as the others, she was looking slightly confused at the announcement.

Rachel leaned over towards Leon, shaking her head. ‘Honey, we could have told you that years ago.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Oh come on, Leon.’ Rachel’s face had lit up with the new conversation. ‘You have three girl best friends, love fashion, and have never had a proper girlfriend.’

‘
So?
What does that prove? I sleep with loads of woman.’

‘Babe, you are one of our best friends. We know you better than you know yourself.’

‘Well that went down better than I thought.’ Leon gulped down the rest of his wine, a tad disappointed that his announcement had not been met with more astonishment, but also happy in the thought that his much loved friends did not care one way or the other.

Ash stayed up talking for a while but retired off to bed with Gemma in tow. She got undressed, lying down on top of the bed staring back up at the blob of BluTack on the ceiling, wondering what Dave was doing now. Replaying out the conversation she had overheard, Ash’s anguish intensified about it.

‘
Dave,
Peter’s
brother
. . .
She
was
in
his
room
. . .
Ash?
Ibiza
. . .
Giving
him
a
blowjob
. . .
some
drunken
girl
. . .
Sassy.
’

She turned on her side and stared to cry. How can this be happening to me again? I must trust my gut feeling. Whatever happens I am to trust my gut feeling, she demanded of herself. Slowly, after a river of tears, she eventually managed to drift off into a shallow, troubled sleep.

* * *

Laughter filled the garden where Leon and Rachel sat talking; Jules had popped out to the local petrol station for more cigarettes and snacks.

‘So what painting did your dad get for you then?’ Rachel asked Leon.

‘Ah. Now here’s a story…’ Leon sat forward. ‘In the end my dad had a meeting, so I went to meet the bloke on my own. He was some French art dealer called Trent.’

‘Trent? That’s a name?’

‘Yeah… So he showed me a few paintings, none of which took my fancy, then offered to take me out for lunch. I went thinking it was some kind of soft sale tactic.’