Guardian of Eden (31 page)

 “It’s Wednesday, Garrett. You were arrested Monday morning for the murder of your stepfather.”

 “Why don’t I remember? What does my mother have to do with this?”

 Marcy sighed. “Do you know Richard Fielding?” I nodded. “Well, he seems to think that you’ve had what’s called a psychotic break. In an effort to deal with some traumatic event, your mind has basically shut down and blocked it out.”

 I thought about this for a moment. Was it possible that Corbin’s murder was so disturbing that my psyche couldn’t handle it? What had I done?

 “Where are Eden and my mother?”

 “Eden is currently in child protective services. Your mother is in a holding cell a few doors down.”

 “I want to see her.”

 
“Your mother?
I think I can arrange that if-”

 “No, Eden. I want to talk to my sister.” 

“I’m not sure if I can do that. She’s pretty…traumatized. She hasn’t spoken a word since she found out Corbin was killed.”

 I put my head in my hands. I thought I was helping her. I thought by killing Corbin I could make her pain go away. Now, I bet she blamed herself for his death.

 Marcy stood and walked around to my side of the table. “Garrett, I want to help you,” she said as she put a hand on my shoulder. “But you have to help me as well, okay? A lot of the officers here think you’re faking it. That's the only reason we haven't transferred you to a mental institution. But, really, I don't want to send you to an institution. I don't think you belong in one. You've been through enough. I just need you to try really hard to remember what happened, okay? Just tell me what you know. Try to remember.” 

“Garrett, you don’t have to tell her anything,” a booming voice said upon entering the room.

“Senator
McPhee
?” Marcy asked, confused by his presence.

 “I was a lawyer before I was a senator and I’ll be representing Mr. Whitman. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll have to ask you to give me and my client some privacy.”

 Marcy looked back and forth between me and the senator trying to make sense of the situation. I’m sure she tried to figure out why a presidential candidate would want to defend me in a murder trial. I guess she couldn’t come to any logical conclusion as she shook her head and left the room.

 “Sorry I took so long to get here. I wasn’t sure if I would do this or not.” Senator
McPhee
sat at the table and opened his briefcase while I stared at him in utter confusion.

 “I don’t understand. Why are you…how did you…?” 

“Madison has told me everything. I know about you and Eden. I know what Corbin did. And after some soul searching, I decided to help you.”

 “But, I can’t pay you.” 

The senator’s blue eyes warmed as he looked at me and said, “I’m not doing this for money.” He took a pen from behind his ear and tapped it on the desk while thinking of what to say. Then he smoothed the sides of his salt and pepper hair and sighed
.“
I’m not even doing this for you. I’m doing it for me. I am afraid of what I would have done if put into the same situation.” 

We stared at each other in knowing silence. I could see in his eyes that he knew I killed Corbin, which is why what he said next surprised me.

“The way I see it, we have two major goals to accomplish. First, we have to get you acquitted of a murder charge, and second, we have to get you custody of Eden. The second task may prove more difficult than the first since you obviously didn’t kill Corbin.”

 “What? Of course, I killed him. The last thing I remember is going to get the gun so I could do just that.”

 Senator
McPhee
shook his head. “No, Garrett, you didn’t kill Corbin. Your mother did.” 

“Holly?
My mother?
She’s in North Carolina. She couldn’t have done it.” I said, bolting out of the chair. 

“She
was
in North Carolina,” Senator
McPhee
explained. “But when she got the call from the emergency room, she started driving back. She went straight to Corbin’s studio. According to her, she got there in time to see you fire a warning shot in the air. Then you apparently vomited and dropped the gun. She grabbed the gun and shot Corbin six times.”

 I shook my head furiously. “No, that’s not true. It can’t be true.”

“Can you tell me with absolute certainty that it didn’t happen that way?” 

“I…I…” I sat back down. Since I had no memory of that day, I couldn’t say for sure what really happened, but I knew with everything in me that I had been the one to kill him. I had to be. Something inside me needed to be the one that protected Eden.

 “That’s what I thought.”  The senator took out a sheet from a folder. “The evidence supports your mother’s statement. According to the police report, a bullet was found in the ceiling and your vomit was found next to the body.”

 My mouth suddenly turned dry. I couldn’t speak. Was this possible?

 “You really don’t remember?” he asked. I shook my head. “I really wish you could remember. It will help with the custody battle. No judge is going to want to give a child to someone who has just suffered a psychotic break.” 

The senator stared at me with raised eyebrows. He wanted me to make some sort of conclusion, to come to a realization of my own. Then it hit me.

 “You want me to lie? You want me to corroborate my mother’s story so it doesn’t look like I’m crazy?” 

He nodded. “That might be the only way you can get Eden.”

 I put my head in my hands and took deep slow breaths. “I can’t send my mother to jail on a lie. I don’t really know what happened.” 

“Look, Garrett, your mother already confessed. The police have their murderer. The most they can pin on you right now is conspiracy or accessory. I’m sure they’ll be willing to drop the charges if you cooperate.”

 “I don’t know if I can do that.”

 The senator loosened his tie then whipped off his expensive looking suit jacket. “Look, Garrett, Eden’s father is in jail. Holly is going to jail as well for possibly a very long time. Your grandmother, Francis Whitman, doesn’t want her. I already checked. All Eden has is you. What is she going to do if you go to jail as well? Where will she go?”

 Years in politics had certainly honed Senator
McPhee's
 skills of persuasion. I actually considered lying to the police and claiming I remembered the shooting.

 I thought about my sister’s plight. She definitely needed me and I needed to be there for her. But could I really send my mother to jail for something I quite possibly did myself?

 I didn’t know what to do. I stood up from the table and paced the room.

 Finally, I said, “I need to talk to my mother.”

My mother crossed the cell and embraced me as soon as I entered. I didn’t know whether to hug her back. I wasn’t sure where we stood. She had abandoned me and my sister leaving us to fend for ourselves. She had ignored the fact that her daughter had been sexually abused instead of protecting her. My mother had failed both of us so many times I couldn’t keep track. Was she now trying to redeem herself by claiming she killed Corbin when she didn’t?

 She noticed my cold reception and slowly let me go. “I’ll understand if you hate me for the rest of your life. I’ve been a pretty awful mother, especially to Eden.” My mother wiped tears away with both her hands then took a seat on the bench that jutted out of the wall. I continued standing as I glared at her. She looked deathly pale except for the puffy red circles that had formed around her eyes. Her normally shimmering golden blond hair hung dull and lifeless down her back. She’d aged years since the last time I’d seen her either from two weeks of drinking and alcohol abuse or from the current stress of a murder charge.

 “I think a part of me always loved you more, Garrett. I never really realized that until recently.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked up at me. Why was she telling me this? It wasn’t helping the situation. I loved Eden more than anything in the world. For my mother to tell me she didn’t feel the same way did not raise my opinion of her.

Is that why you let Corbin rape her? You didn’t love her enough to protect her?”

 “Garrett, that’s not-”

“She told you weeks ago and you did nothing!”

 “I did do something! I…I killed him. I protected her. I finally acted like her mother.” She stood and tugged on my shirt while pleading like a child searching for approval.

 I grabbed her wrists and stared at her trying to read her expression. Did she really believe she killed Corbin? I knew with everything inside me that I had pulled the trigger. But how could I be sure? Maybe I just
wanted
to be the one. Maybe I really didn’t do it.

 My mother sensed my uncertainty. “You still don’t remember, do you?” I didn’t respond. I continued holding her wrists and staring into her eyes, the eyes that were exactly like mine, and tried to extract the truth from them. “Garrett, baby, you didn’t do it.” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me again. “You’re innocent, baby, you can go on with your life. You can take Eden and…and be free, be happy. Forget about me.”

 I gave in and hugged her back. She broke down and sobbed in my arms. “I can’t forget about you. You’re my mother.” I knew I should probably hate her for all that she had put me and Eden through, but I couldn’t. I loved her and something inside me would always love her. 

 “Listen very carefully,” my mother whispered into my ear as we embraced. Her tone had suddenly changed. She was no longer sad, tearful, and almost irrational. She sounded firm, determined, and completely lucid. For a moment I thought she had faked the entire episode including her new declaration of love for me. I started to pull away thinking my mother had transformed into some monster with a double personality when she pulled me closer and whispered, “You arrived at the apartment above Corbin’s studio at 7:15 in the morning. You woke him up with a gun shot into the ceiling. When he jumped out of bed, you pistol whipped him to his left temple. He fell to the floor unable to get up. The sight of the blood on his face made you nauseous so you puked and dropped the gun. He reached for it and you kicked it away.”

 My mother paused as a uniformed police officer walked past the cell. He eyed us suspiciously until my mother let me go and we separated.