Guardian (49 page)

“He’s turned, Lyla,” he said quietly, looking back at Damian. There was a world of confusion and sadness in his eyes. “He’s gone back.”

“Back where?” I asked, insistent.

“To
him
,” Daniel spat contemptuously. The force of all their words, the hostility and
betrayal
in all of their voices was beginning to scare me. I had never heard them sound so cruel to anyone before.

“Back to Lucifer,” Rafael said quietly, his eyes never leaving Damian’s. “He’s given up on heaven. He’s following a path of evil now.”

Damian didn’t say a word, only stepped forward, and the ranks of the Fallen tightened against him. He kept coming, however, until he stood toe to toe with Rafael. They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Rafael stepped to the side. I wasn’t sure what he had seen in Damian, but he broke the wall, and allowed Damian to approach the table where Naomi lay next to her grieving mother.

Rachel looked up at Damian, her eyes red-rimmed with tears and her face contorted in agony and anger. “You did this,” she said in a hoarse, raw voice. It was furious too, because not only did Rachel need someone to blame for this, it really was Damian who was to blame. “
You did this
!” she screamed it this time.

“I know,” Damian said tonelessly, his face a mask devoid of any emotion. But with those words he bent down over Naomi, almost as though he were kissing her, they were so close.

I saw Damian take a quick intake of breath, and then there was a burst of light so bright, so blindingly white that it filled the entire top floor of the warehouse. With a squeak of alarm I buried my face against Rafael’s chest, trying to shield my eyes from the blast. But I could still see it through my eyelids, and though it only lasted a moment, my eyes still saw spots when I blinked them rapidly, peering around the semi-darkness once more. Damian had moved from Naomi’s table to stand in front of Rafael and me, so suddenly I took a step back, unnerved by the tortured look in his eyes.

“I’ve turned,” he said flatly. “This isn’t an act of penance. It would have been dangerous for me to keep it where I am now.” He turned to me, and I had to keep myself from jerking my head away as he leaned down, his mouth next to my ear, so only I could hear his words.

“You…
almost
changed my mind,” he whispered, slowly and haltingly. “I will remember you for a very long time, Lyla Evans. Farewell.”

As abruptly as he had come, Damian ran for the edge of the building and threw himself into the open air. A moment later his flying shape was visible against the stars, wings carrying him farther and farther away from us.

I didn’t immediately realize what had happened, what Damian had done. Not until Naomi’s fingers began to twitch, and I looked at her and realized that the cut on her forehead had not only stopped bleeding, but was healed as well. It was gone, and as we all watched in amazement, Naomi slowly opened her eyes, blinked twice, and then tried to sit up.

“Mommy?” she asked, her voice strong and echoing with a new, musical cadence. She sounded just like her mother.

Rachel made a sound of relief deep in her throat and fell upon Naomi, throwing her arms around her. In an instant Matthias was there as well, and as I watched, a small pair of wings, a perfect miniature of Rachel’s own dark brown ones, rose up behind the three of them.

Wings. Naomi’s wings.

The snow crunched as I slowly walked along the side yard, toward the shouts of children. The blizzard was done, and had left only a winter wonderland in its wake, a perfect white Christmas. All around me, along Aspen Hallow Court, little kids had come out to play on Christmas morning, building snowmen and making snow angels. In the backyard of 1329, I could hear my siblings, and my heart gave a glad hum of approval at being near them again.

A long yard stretched out behind the large, graceful house, cut off by the beginnings of a thick wooded area. I made my way past the house and then stood at the edge of the woods, where I couldn’t be easily seen from the windows. It was a long moment before Colton and Grace noticed me standing there, but I was content to watch them play until they did.

“Lyla?”

Colton’s eyes, always so bright and blue, widened in shock at the sight of me. He and Gracie began running toward me in the snow, which was nearly as deep as Grace was tall. They tumbled and stumbled forward, tripping along like overeager puppies. They surrounded me, jumping up and down, speaking so quickly that I could only catch the odd word or so, showing off their new winter coats and mittens, the Hello Kitty and Superman snow boots.

“Shh, shh,” I cautioned, kneeling down in the snow next to them. “Yes, I see your nice, new home. It’s very beautiful. And I love your new parents. I’m so happy for you.”

Emotions rushed through me; disappointment that I had been unable to provide this life for them, genuine happiness that Colton and Grace finally,
finally
had a safe place to call home, relief that I was going to be able to leave them in such safe hands, and of course, sadness, because I might never see them again.

“Are you going to come inside with us?” Grace asked, clutching my leg. “We’re having turkey for dinner! A whole roast turkey, Sissy!”

Colton, ever the observant old soul, reached up to touch one of the tears that were pricking at my eyes. “Why are you sad, Lyla?” he asked solemnly. “Did you forget to tell Jesus happy birthday?”

I laughed, but it sounded wet even to my own ears. “No, I didn’t, Colton. I’m actually going to tell Jesus happy birthday in a very special way. Except, except it means I won’t be able to have a turkey dinner with you.”

Grace’s lip turned down in a pout. “Why not? Can you come to the party to celebrate New Hallows Eve then?”

“New
Years
Eve,” Colton corrected, exasperated. “Hallows is on Halloween, Gracie. In October!”

I shook my head, biting my lip and trying hard to keep from bawling. This sibling banter, the protective care of little Gracie, would the Andersons be able to do it? Could they really give Grace and Colton the care and devotion that I had? Would they love them so fiercely that they would risk their very own life? Somehow, I had convinced myself that they would. Or I would never, ever be leaving my two young charges in anyone’s hands but my own.

Grace cupped my cheek in her small hand. “Don’t be sad. You can come and see us anytime.”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t. See, Colton, Gracie, I’m going away. I’m… I’m making a change, for Jesus.”

“Can we do it too, then?” Grace asked, ever the innocent child.

“I don’t think so,” I said. “This… change means I can’t come and visit you. Not for dinner or parties, or even in secret. I may never, ever see you again.”

This announcement was met with silence, and then Grace began to cry. “W-w-why?” she sniffled. “Why would He want you to go away from us? We love you!”

I gathered Grace into my arms, holding her tight and blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. “You have a safe place, now, Grace. You don’t need me like you used to.”

“We’ll always need you.” Colton knew he was too old to cry, but he was fighting a losing battle. “Always,” he repeated.

“B-but
where
are you going?” Grace wailed. “What does Jesus want you to do, Sissy?”

I cupped Grace’s face in my hands, smoothing down my sister’s soft golden curls. “Sissy is going to become an angel, sweetheart.” I had decided long ago to tell them the truth. They deserved that, for feeling that I was going to abandon them. And it would give them hope. Hope they would need, especially if things didn’t work out with the Anderson’s. That was my greatest fear. What if Grace and Colton were shoved back into the foster care system, and I wasn’t there to rescue them?

You have to let them go
. It was Rafael’s voice, echoing in my head.

Grace’s tears came to a quick halt as she stared at me in amazement. “An angel?”

“That’s right. Remember that angel you saw in the kitchen? That was really Rafael, Grace. He’s an angel, my guardian angel.” My voice broke, because nothing could be closer to the truth, the beautiful truth of it, and I forced myself to forge onward. “And he and Jesus are being very nice. They asked if I would like to be one too. And I said yes. But they need me to fight some bad people, and that will take a very long time. That’s why I can’t come and see you. I’ll be busy keeping you safe, in a different way. I came to tell you goodbye.” My voice broke, and this time I pulled Colton in close next to Grace.

“We’ll miss you a lot,” Colton said after a moment, accepting the news with the calm assuredness that only a child who had yet to be tested could. “We’ll pray for you every day, won’t we, Gracie?”

“Oh yes,” Grace said earnestly.

“That,” I said firmly, “makes me feel better than anything else in the whole world. Even becoming an angel.”

“We promise we will,” Colton said seriously. He held up a hand, pink outstretched. “Pinky swear?”

I smiled. “Pinky swear.”

And we shook on it.

“Now, listen carefully to me,” I said, taking each of their hands into my own and looking them levelly in the eyes. “I’m going to try and keep an eye on you as best I can, but I can’t always. If bad people come, or if you’re in bad, bad danger, call for me. Call for me and I’ll come. I’ll come no matter how far away I am, no matter what it takes.”

“Will you have wings? Will you fly to us?” Grace asked wistfully.

I smiled again and nodded. “Yes, I will have wings. I’ll be an angel, won’t I?”

“Makes sense,” Colton muttered to Grace.

“You won’t forget about me, will you?” I asked, my heart aching. It was my second biggest fear, that Colton and Grace would think they’d only dreamed of me as the years went on and they never saw me again. “You’ll know I’ll always be up with the stars, if you need me?” At this point, there was no need for me to mess with the childlike fantasies that all angels were good and true and lived in heaven. “That you both share a special Guardian Angel?”

“We’ll never, ever, ever, ever times one million, forget,” Colton promised.

“Times one million,” Grace echoed. She was sucking on her thumb, sinking into old habits. “You’ll be a beautiful angel,” she added.

I grinned as I gently pulled Grace’s hand away from her face. “Thank you very much, Ms. Anderson. And now, it’s time for me to go. I have to hurry, because it’s today. I’m going to become an angel today.”

Grace and Colton crowded in once more, and I pulled them into a gripping hug, taking deep breaths to steady myself.
You’re keeping them safe in other ways,
I reminded myself.
No need to go on and on, when this could possibly, is undoubtedly, the last time you’ll ever hold them like this.

I gave them each a salty kiss on the cheek, and finally forced them back into the house. I watched them go, and the door had just closed behind them when I felt an arm on my shoulder. I didn’t panic. I knew this touch, welcomed it as Rafael’s strong arms enveloped me. I turned and slid my own arms around his waist, embracing the clean scent he carried.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “There’s still time to change your mind. I know this is very hard. You don’t have to do this. Lyla, I can’t ask you to do this. With Damian gone and St. James possibly hunting us, it’s too dangerous.”

“No!” I looked up into his curious green-purple eyes. “I’ve made my choice, Rafael. I want it to be with you, I want to help in this fight. I
need
to help you.”

“I’ll be condemning you, condemning you to an empty life where there’s no hope, no real hope that we know of,” he insisted, yet again.

I covered his lips with two of my fingers, feeling how cold he was out in the elements. It had begun softly snowing again, little flakes caught in Rafael’s dark hair, others melting when they came in contact with warm body heat. “We’ve talked about this enough. Please, just do it. I love you, and I will follow you to the ends of the earth. What I believe in is you, that you’re doing the right thing with what you’ve been given to work with. And I want to help you with it. I know that in the end, we’ll be together, in heaven. I just have one request.”

“And what’s that?” Rafael asked.

I turned, and he followed suit, spying the two blond heads peering through the window at us, wide blue eyes following our every move.

“Could we do it here?” I asked, softly. “So they can see? Later in life, I want them to have something to look back on and remember, instead of just thinking they had an older sister who told them a pretty story so she could get rid of them and run off with her boyfriend. I don’t, I don’t want them to laugh at it in a few years.”

“We can do it anywhere,” Rafael assured me. “Are you sure you’re ready? Are you
sure
, Lyla?”

I closed my eyes, taking a long breath and then opened them, looking him directly in the eyes. “I’m ready.”

Rafael gripped me tighter and pivoted, bending so we were caught mid-dip, as though frozen in the middle of a dance.

“What are you doing? How, how do we go about this? What do you have to do?” I asked, suddenly feeling a little nervous. My arms came up to encircle his neck, and I held on tight.