Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (58 page)

She did so much that Gwen and Andy could
actually work with industry contacts, but even then Holly was
willing to come into the office at Graham’s house and do her part
there too. Everything worked harmoniously and efficiently. The
merry trio would then celebrate how well things were going by doing
decidedly girly things. They shopped, they went to the salon. They
watched chick flicks and bonded over mani/pedis, which Andy had
never really bothered with before but Holly swore would make her
feel pampered and pretty.

After all she’d been through Andy found she
kind of liked being pampered and pretty. In fact, she had actually
never felt more like a girl than with Gwen and Holly. It was an
instant kinship that made both of them welcome in Graham’s house as
well, making them the first people associated with the label who
got to see Graham in person, in his current condition. With his
burgeoning self-esteem, he played the perfect host who charmed both
women with his humor and conscientious sophistication.

Holly returned the favor by working her magic
on Graham from the moment she walked through the door. She thought
of a dozen little ways to make his life easier and would race to
wait on him every time the opportunity presented itself.
Unfortunately she wasn’t used to the way Maggie and Andy ran things
around the house. There was no babying, pampering or mothering
Graham, which left someone like Holly at a loss how to fit into the
bigger picture.

It honestly made Graham feel sorry for her, and
he said as much to Andy when they shared yet another night cuddled
together while they watched TV. “She means well,” he said, “but I
definitely get this feeling she has no self-esteem
whatsoever.”

Andy didn’t know if she agreed, unless Holly’s
eternally cheerful demeanor was just a mask hiding some pretty big
problems. Vanni seemed to take her at face value, which made Andy
want to do the same; especially after all she’d done to help
everyone. It seemed harsh or cynical to suggest it was anything
other than just plain old kindness. She came across as truly
genuine and God knows they had been in short supply of
that.

“I dunno,” Andy mused. “I think sometimes an
apple is just an apple. Why do you need to look for the
wormhole?”

He reached into the bowl of popcorn she was
holding. “You don’t get to where I am without looking a few moves
ahead,” he said. “She seems like a nice girl and all but… what’s
the catch? She’s either a complete phony or she’s got more issues
than anyone can see.”

“She had an abusive alcoholic dad. Of course
she has issues,” Andy replied. After Vanni had gone to rehab Holly
broke down and confessed how horrible it had been to relive some of
that painful trauma she had endured as the child of an alcoholic.
His behavior had hit all her triggers in ways she hadn’t expected.
She fluctuated between wanting to help him like she had been
conditioned to help her dad and the desire to run far away from the
problem yet again.

Because of all these problems Holly swore that
her feelings for Vanni were purely platonic. She had no desire
whatsoever to sign on for another tour of duty of co-dependent
enabler to an addict. One day she wanted to have children and she
didn’t want to put them through what she went through. Her delicate
strength instantly endeared her to Andy, who had never had a sister
but felt an immediate kinship all the same. The same vulnerability
that made Vanni want to protect her touched upon something
protective in Andy as well.

Best of all, despite it all, she was no threat.
The fact that she didn’t give a rat’s ass about Vanni’s celebrity
was what sealed the deal for Andy. She was quite through with
climbers who wanted nothing more than to bed a celebrity. Holly had
dated her fair share of musicians over the years and learned the
bitter lesson early that fame did not facilitate fidelity, and
Holly made it clear she wasn’t the type to share.

Andy believed her to be a smart girl who knew
what she wanted out of life, but more importantly what she didn’t
want. Honestly she kind of envied that about her. She was younger,
but seemed so much more mature than Andy herself had been at
twenty-two… or even now at twenty-seven.

She felt like it was exactly what Vanni needed.
He needed to see there were people out there who didn’t give a rip
about how famous he was. His ego needed to be kept in check, and
Andy felt comfortable leaving that to someone like
Holly.

She was small but she was tireless when it came
to getting the job done.

As such she steadily climbed through the ranks
over the 30 days Vanni was away in rehab. It helped that she seemed
to smooth Leo’s edges when it came to his possessiveness of the
band. She made herself the unofficial go-between for Leo and Andy,
who realized quickly they couldn’t stand each other.

Since Graham decided Leo was the best in the
business and the smartest way he could handle the band while he was
incapacitated, there was little Andy could do but find a new way to
communicate with him.

Holly, who had known Leo a while, stepped into
this role naturally. She knew how to defuse his explosive temper
and she knew how to temper some of the things he said to Andy. If
he said a cross word about her Andy never knew it, and she liked it
that way.

The downside to this new arrangement was that
Andy didn’t get to see her friends Yael and Felix much, or even get
to know the new bassist Davy Gray. With the equally new Julian as
part of the lineup it felt to Andy like a whole new band. Her
emotional investment had been severed, especially since they no
longer played the songs written for her.

The exception to that was “Baby, Say My Name,”
but Julian and Yael had rewritten the guitar tracks to it making it
much harder than the original version. They planned a re-release of
this popular tune as a bonus track on their new CD.

Though she knew it wasn’t intentional, it was
like she was being effectively written right out of the history of
the band. She had already been extricated from the fandom, with
Holly and Gwen rewriting much of the work she had invested before.
With the new direction of the band it only made sense and was
certainly nothing personal.

It just felt that way.

She was now very
famously Vanni’s ex, which was ironic considering she was never
publicly acknowledged as his “current.” And she wasn’t just an ex,
she was
the
Ex. To
put it plainly, it hurt less the less she had to deal with it all.
Besides, Holly was happy to do it.

By the end of September, when Vanni was due to
arrive home, it was Holly who uncovered a tabloid story that would
blow up their carefully constructed house of cards once again. She
was silent as she presented it to Andy, who sank down in a chair in
shock as the sensational story slapped her right in the
face.

Her eyes shot back to the younger woman. “Is
this true?” she asked.

Holly nodded. “I took it upon myself to do some
investigating. The story checks out.”

Andy glanced down at the rag mag in her hands,
which screamed a headline she had almost convinced herself she’d
never see.

ESTRANGED FATHER OF GIOVANNI CARNEVALE,
DESTITUTE IN NYC, WISHES TO REUNITE WITH HIS SON.

Chapter Eleven

October 10, 2010. Los Angeles.

Vanni

As Vanni rode in the company car from Santa
Barbara back down to his Redondo Beach home, he had a lot of time
to think about the next chapter of his life. He was proud of what
he was able to accomplish in rehab. He shared the experience with
actors and celebrities of all sorts, and they all spent a great
deal of time getting to the root of why fame and excess made one
vulnerable to self-destruction.

Vanni understood now that the triggers were
always there. His propensity to drink was probably hard-wired into
his DNA, which he could attribute back to his own father, just like
every other problem in his life. His mother didn’t say much about
him but her intolerance for alcohol told its own tale. It wasn’t
hard to believe that his father had skipped town to chase the
bottle, and whatever else, while leaving his wife and child alone
and in poverty.

When Andy, the first person he had allowed
himself to love and trust, “left,” he felt as abandoned as he had
as a child. He started drinking to numb himself once again to the
pain of not being good enough to be loved. Because he felt
unlovable and weak, he needed to punish himself in the most
effective way he knew how. One drink led to another until he
couldn’t function without it. Courtesy of his environment he had
plenty of access and very little accountability.

He unwittingly set the timer on his own
internal bomb.

It had been 30 days and he finally felt as
though he subdued the monster that lived within him. The urges were
still there, of course, especially when he had to dig deep to
confront some of his long buried emotions, but now he knew that he
was back in control of the drinking… just like he had been before
this latest unfortunate episode.

Honestly he didn’t even feel as though he had a
disease like other alcoholics. It was the first real foray down
that road he’d taken and the accident was a wakeup call that
happened almost immediately. He learned quickly that alcohol didn’t
solve his problem. He wasn’t like some of the others in rehab whose
rock bottoms kept sinking ever lower with each bender.

Most importantly he wasn’t weak like his
father. He knew he’d never allow himself to stumble down that path
again.

So all in all he felt pretty confident as they
sailed along the freeway back to his home. He couldn’t wait to show
Andy, and even sweet Holly, that he had mastered his
demons.

He called Andy first the minute that he arrived
home. He asked that she come visit him. He didn’t say as much but
he wanted her to see the place he got for them to share. He
believed eventually they would be together and he wanted her to
know – again – he thought their future was worth the
wait.

She chose her words carefully, which led Vanni
to believe that Graham was within earshot. She didn’t say his name
and cryptically told him she’d be there shortly, which sounded far
more ominous than it should have.

He tried not to think about it as he went over
to his liquor cabinet. He pulled out a trash bag and placed the
booze right inside. He kept thinking to himself this was an
inanimate thing that had no power over him; it seemed silly to just
toss it all out.

But rehab was a safe environment where the
temptations were few. Why take any chances now that he had come
home?

He changed into some cargo shorts and a button
down top over a DIB T-shirt, and pulled his hair into a long
ponytail as he stepped out onto his deck. He had missed it, though
most of his drinking binges had happened there. He thought about
Andy racing toward his home and thought with a smile it was time to
make some new memories.

He didn’t want to push her like before, but he
knew he wanted to feel her in his arms again. She was his drug of
choice now simply because she made him better.

He was ready for better.

His heart warmed when he opened the door and
saw her there on the doorstep. She had gone back to her natural
hair color of reddish brown, which she wore layered around her
shoulders. It was casual and low maintenance, just like Andy
herself. She didn’t layer makeup on her face, and looked up at him
with those bright, amazing eyes that peeked out behind the dark
frames of her glasses.

He smiled as he looked down at her. She was the
most beautiful woman in the world, but had somehow fooled the world
into thinking she was ordinary.

He didn’t ask as he took her into his arms. She
filled his embrace with a hint of perfume and a glowing warmth that
could not be substituted by any other. And he should know. He had
certainly tried.

He lifted her up into his arms. There were no
words that adequately described how he felt, but in her arms no
words were needed. That’s why he had always loved it
there.

He eased her back down to her feet. “You look
amazing,” he said softly as his eyes fell down to her mouth. Such
full lips, so kissable, irresistible…

He smiled as he made a mental note to write
that one down. He’d written a ton of music and lyrics over the past
30 days. As always it was how he had healed.

She was likewise overwhelmed by Vanni’s
appearance. He looked so much better than the last time she saw him
in court with fading bruises and cuts from the accident. His hair
was long and luxurious and he definitely wore the evidence he had
exercised and eaten right over the past month. He was still lean
but more toned, and even the softer part of his tummy felt firmer
against her. He had earned new strength, which she knew he was
going to need after she told him what she needed to tell
him.

“You look well, Vanni. It’s good to
see.”

He grinned like a silly boy as he turned around
so she could see how he had healed. It had been a really long six
weeks. “Not ready to tour yet,” he said. “But definitely ready to
get back into the studio.”