Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (53 page)

Yael hated to admit he thought that took way
more guts. It gave him an edge in his playing that had been missing
from their material up to that point. Yael and even Felix kept up
with the pace. They stretched beyond their more structured and
layered sound for something more powerful and raw. Vanni looked on
with a smile on his face. It fit his mood way more than the ballads
he was more than happy to shelve for the near future.

By that weekend they had written four new songs
and Vanni had been only moderately drunk through the duration.
Resurrecting the music sparked his creative drive. This helped dull
somewhat the ache that had taken root in his soul.

Also there to distract him were the sparkling
blue eyes of a cheerful pixie that stayed just to the sidelines of
their creative frenzy. Though she probably didn’t know it, Holly
Neal was the biggest reason that Vanni no longer stayed blindly
intoxicated 24/7, even though it was a struggle every minute he was
anywhere near sober.

The first night Julian had confided in Vanni
how much their father’s drinking had scarred her. The reason they
left home at such a young age, facing the unknown dangers of life
on the road, was because their dad had beaten the hell out of her
in a drunken rage. She had reminded him too much of his wife, whom
he resented for leaving him to care for two kids all on his own,
and often bore the brunt of his frustration. Where their mom bolted
while she was still young and desirable enough to catch a rich man,
Holly was forced to step into the caretaker role in their family
early, with a strength belied by her tiny stature.

The way she took care of her brother was
especially enduring to Vanni, who had grown up as a lonely only
child. There were many times he wished he’d had a sibling… a
brother to play baseball with or a sister to protect. But he grew
up alone, with only his mother and his aunt to buffer him from the
unkindness of the world.

Despite their rocky beginnings, Holly did that
for Julian with a cheerful smile and faithful consistency. Once
Julian joined the band she took everyone under her wing with that
same thoughtful maternal attention and care.

The more she took care of him the more he
wanted to man up for her so she didn’t have to. He certainly never
wanted to give her another sloppy drunk to clean up after. So Vanni
made the conscious decision not to do anything that would trigger
horrible memories from a life they had fought so hard to
overcome.

This was much easier in thought than in deed.
He learned early on quitting cold turkey was not in the cards.
Sobriety punched through his consciousness like a fist. He was
jumpy and irritable, making him even more of an ass than he’d been
while stone drunk. He sweat like a pig and nearly vomited the
coffee he had consistently tried to force down.

Like an angel Holly would appear with some
aspirin and water to help him wash the poison from his system. And
when it became crystal clear his moodiness, depression and
suppressed rage were not under control, she slipped him some pills
to take the edge off.

She also looked away when he’d swipe a beer
because even with her magical pills he felt like he was coming
unglued inside his skin. She tried to smile away her
disappointment, but it was clear as long as he drank he would never
truly get close to her.

Once again he realized a woman needed him to be
strong, and once again he failed her. Each day ended up a painful
exercise in futility matching who he wanted to be with who he
really was.

Whenever he lumbered through the door at two
o’clock in the morning he’d grab the nearest bottle of booze he
could find and make up for lost time as he sat on the leather sofa
that faced the Pacific. Sometimes he’d call for a prostitute and
sometimes he’d just pass out trying to pleasure himself to snippets
of all the women he’d ever made love to. They all ran together,
their faces and their bodies and their names.

He couldn’t bear to see anyone familiar, which
was why he steered away from any Andy or Holly look-alikes from the
service after the first couple of times. He was frustrated and
unfulfilled. Trying to substitute them only made it worse, just
like the alcohol.

At that point he really didn’t know what would
make it better. He just drifted from remedy to remedy praying for a
cure.

Juxtaposed with the band’s growth was Vanni’s
struggle to keep up. Each morning he showed up for band rehearsal
he looked progressively worse. Leo slipped him some prescription
pills to help him sleep, which kept him from reaching for the booze
during the day.

Holly rewarded him with longer hugs and
homemade lunches. It was as though she knew how hard he was trying
to man up for her. The way she pampered him was reminiscent of a
different time, when women were socially conditioned to care for
their men as their top priority.

It was the one thing he had never had in all
his relationships, even with Andy – who had now promised to give
exactly that treatment to another man. This made Holly’s behavior
all the more welcome. She still stopped him short of any kind of
physical contact beyond a hug. She gave him just enough to want
more.

Thanks to the ongoing struggle and Holly’s
welcome distraction, by that Monday morning he had barely thought
about Andy at all. This was good news for Leo, who never missed an
opportunity to remind Vanni it was useless to pine over her when
she had made her choice. Much like Holly’s mom she had gone on to
the bigger better deal, and had sent him on his way rather than try
to save him that first awful night back in Los Angeles.

She had another man to save. She was no longer
his rock or his salvation.

Vanni felt empowered as he showered to prepare
for his first meeting with Graham. Not only was he going to take
control of his career path, he had to congratulate himself on how
quickly he was able to get Andy out of his head. He lived most of
his adult life by one consistent rule: it only took one woman to
forget another one. There was never any reason to pine over one
like a heartsick loser because there were way too many lined up
ready to take another girl’s place, especially when you’re Giovanni
Carnevale.

Why break his own rules for anyone? Even one as
luscious and amazing as his Andy?

That was the thing, he had to remind himself.
She wasn’t his anymore. While Holly was waiting on Vanni hand and
foot, Andy was tending to Graham. Vanni knew all too well the arms
that would be there to catch Graham whenever he would fall, and
lift him higher than he had ever dreamed reach.

And just like that
his mood took a turn for the worse. All his progress evaporated at
the mere thought of her embrace, her touch… her devotion. That all
belonged to someone else now – he hadn’t gotten over
her
. She had
rejected
him
. That
realization never failed to make his confidence
plummet.

As the time marched forward that he’d go see
the man she had chosen, Vanni’s stomach twisted into a knot. For
the first time in days he started his morning with a drink. He
convinced himself he just needed a little bit, but before he knew
it the vodka bottle was empty. When that didn’t do the trick he
reached for some of Holly’s magic pills, which he had come to learn
were an anti-anxiety medication.

He tried two at first, but after twenty minutes
he reached for more with trembling fingers. He knew he had to get
it together. He had called this meeting to assert his authority
over his band. He couldn’t let Graham see him weakened or
compromised.

Within an hour he was on his way downtown. He
felt pretty high and as such pretty confident to face off with his
old boss. There were some major changes coming in the band and
Vanni wasn’t going to be deterred from making these changes. Graham
may have taken his Andy, but he wasn’t going to mess with the
music.

It was all Vanni had left.

He met Leo and Julian in the lobby. His
intoxication was unmistakable. Leo took him by the arm and pulled
him aside. “Dude, this is business. You gotta play this
straight.”

Vanni smiled. “Don’t worry, Leo. I got it all
under control.”

Leo was not convinced. “I think you better let
me do the talking,” he advised.

Vanni’s face clouded over with a primal anger.
“This is my band,” he told him. “I always do the talking. You got
that?”

Leo’s jaw clenched but he nodded. He motioned
for Julian to follow them to the elevator and up to the top
floor.

Vanni was even more agitated when Graham’s
secretary made them wait just outside the office. He considered it
a dick move just to prove Graham was still the boss. His mind
toiled as he rehearsed what he was going to say to assert his own
dominance over his career.

He hadn’t felt the need to do that since
Jasper. He remembered how he shook in his shoes when he stood up to
Jasper Carrington, one of the most powerful men in entertainment.
He was still wet behind the ears back then, and in the worst
possible position of being at the mercy of an unscrupulous
contract.

Things were a lot different now. He was
Giovanni Carnevale, world renowned rock star. He sold out arenas
all over the world. He had women who practically threw themselves
at his feet. He could get into any club, date any celebrity and
sell any product. His face sold magazines. His voice sold CDs and
digital downloads. His invitations to perform ran the gamut of talk
shows to talent shows. He had even been asked to judge aspiring
singers.

He was now the expert on what made someone a
star.

They had even put together a DVD package of
their first tour with Baxter’s label which had topped all
best-selling charts online and in retail shops
everywhere.

He was “It,” and he wasn’t going to let some
slave-driving record producer make him feel like some
flunky.

He had just gotten angry enough to finally face
off with Graham when they were called back into the office. He was
nearly rooted to the floor in shock to see Andy sitting there at
Graham’s large desk instead.

Though she had the benefit of surprise on her
side, she seemed just as shaken to see him… especially in the shape
he was in. She had heard from Gwen that the new rehearsals were
going well and he was even making slow progress on his sobriety.
That was clearly not the case at that moment.

She motioned for the men to sit in the chairs
across from the desk. “Leo,” she tipped her head his direction and
he said nothing as he made an imperceptible nod in reply. Julian
reached across to shake her hand before he took his
seat.

Vanni sat last and didn’t speak or touch her at
all, though he had been the one to request the meeting in the first
place.

She cleared her throat. “Thank you for coming,”
she offered as she reached for the portfolio Gwen had prepared on
Julian. “It’s nice to meet you Julian,” she said with a forced
smile. Like the guys in the band, to her he represented a scrub
that didn’t fit with the DIB family she had grown to love. It was
going to take some getting used to in order finally accept him as
one of her own.

He gave her a charming smile. “Likewise. I’ve
heard a lot about you.”

Andy’s eyes shot to Vanni, who stared daggers
right into her soul. He seemed so angry. Still so angry. Her lips
trembled as she tried to return Julian’s smile. “As you know Gwen
has drawn up a bio for you to introduce you to the fans. I
understand you’ll be taking over the bass?”

“Rhythm guitar,” Leo answered as he, too,
glared her direction. He didn’t much appreciate having to answer to
some fan who had slept her way to the top of the ladder. She didn’t
get there because she’d worked her ass off lugging equipment and
chasing temperamental musicians all over the country. She was there
because she had a pussy, and nothing pissed Leo off
more.

Andy’s eyebrow rose. She didn’t know which
confused her more: the information itself or the clear antagonism
coming off of the two men before her in waves. “Rhythm
guitar?”

Vanni glared at Leo. “Yes,” he answered before
Leo could. “We decided that bass was a waste of his talent.
Besides, it fits with our new musical direction.”

Andy took a deep breath. This was why she
didn’t want to be there. She was not equipped to deal with all
these curve balls they seemed determine to throw her direction. She
linked her fingers and tried to keep her cool. “And what direction
is that?”

“More metal. Alternative rock with a heavier
edge. No more ballads or mushy love crap,” he said with a pointed
glare. “We’re going to bring back the music we grew up on.” He
glanced over to Leo with a nod. The older man produced a laptop
from his bag. He cued up the video of some of the recent jam
sessions. The band had taken on a metal song from the 80s that was
indeed raw and edgier. But it was the ferocity in how Vanni sang
the lyrics, of taking a desired woman away from her man, which made
Andy’s stomach drop. His eyes pierced into the camera as he made
his intent quite clear. He wanted something and he didn’t really
care that it belonged to someone else. He performed shirtless and
with an unapologetic sexual magnetism that ceased asking for a
woman’s love. His primal lust sought complete domination. The
effect it had on her was undeniable. Leo barely contained his smile
as he put away the laptop.