Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (52 page)

Finally they ended up at the biggest room in
the house. It used to house his recreation room, so choosing to
modify this one for his home gym made sense. It had big windows
that overlooked the ocean for an inspiring view and was large
enough to house all the equipment he’d need. There were tables for
massage therapy and parallel bars he could use to start trying to
walk again when the time came. Aesthetically it looked much like
the physical therapy wing at the hospital in Philadelphia, with the
added touches of his home. Platinum records lined the walls as did
other memorabilia that showed Graham history as the president of
Baxter Mega-Worldwide Media Corporation. He stood shoulder to
shoulder with his Grammy winning artists and even heads of state
over the course of decades that spanned his auspicious
career.

“We thought it would be motivational,” Andy
said as she looked down at him. But the way he stared at the photos
it was as though he saw his own ghost.

He gulped and without looking at either of them
said, “May I please go to my room now?”

Andy stole a glance at Maggie, who gave a
slight nod. “Of course,” she finally said as she squeezed his hand
and turned to leave.

“I want Andy to take me to my room,” he
announced. Again Andy deferred to Maggie, who hesitated just a
moment before she nodded a second time.

Andy said nothing as she walked behind the
wheelchair and maneuvered it around and back down the hall. Graham
was quiet as well, especially when they walked by her bedroom door
a second time.

He didn’t even glance inside.

She pulled open the double doors of his bedroom
and rolled him in. As much as she had tried to keep it the same,
the hospital bed and equipment that now furnished his room were
hard to miss. The adjoining bathroom also had railing around the
toilet, and his mirror and sink had been lowered to accommodate the
chair.

She felt the agitation waft from his rigid body
as she knelt to lift up the footrests of the chair. “I bet you’re
tired,” she said with a forced cheerful smile. “Must have been a
long flight.”

“I thought maybe you’d be sleeping in here,” he
said softly as their eyes met. “Especially since I can’t ravish you
in this condition.”

Andy sighed as she perched on both knees on the
floor in front of the chair. “You wouldn’t ravish me in any
condition,” she replied.

“And that’s always been the problem, hasn’t
it?”

Andy looked away. Why was he doing this to her
now? She was still in turmoil from the last encounter with Vanni.
She didn’t need yet another man confusing her and painting her into
an emotional corner. “Graham…”

“I want you to stay with me,” he whispered. His
eyes were desperate. She knew he needed her to comfort him, to give
him hope… to give him something that made him feel like a whole man
again. That broken tone in his voice tore at her heart.

“I am here.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’re
still with him. In every way that matters you’re still with
him.”

She rose to her feet. “This is not about
Vanni,” she tried to explain, but he cut her off.

“Have you seen him since you’ve been back?” he
wanted to know.

“Of course, I have,” she confessed. “That was
business… about the band…”

“Has he been here?” Graham persisted. “In my
house?” Finally he choked out, “with you?”

She sat on the edge of the bed and took
Graham’s hands into hers. The very thought she could have been with
Vanni in his house had eaten him up ever since she’d been gone. She
could see that now. That was why seeing her belongings in another
room had hit him so hard. It was a cold reminder that she loved
another man and wanted to be with another man… much like the night
of the Christmas party.

She thought about confessing that Vanni had
been at the house but it would have just upset him more by casting
more doubt. Instead she promised, “I would never do that to you,
Graham. I made my choice in Philadelphia. I am here, one hundred
percent.”

“Then stay in here with me,” he implored
softly.

“No can do,” sang a cheery voice from the
doorway. It was Maggie, who held a tray full of warm cookies and
milk. “If you want to be walking by the end of the year, you will
need all the rest you can get.” She placed the tray down on the
bedside food tray Andy had ordered in case he wanted to take meals
in bed. She turned to Andy. “Looks like I forgot the napkins. Why
don’t you go get us some?”

Andy gave her a grateful nod before she
scurried from the room. She lingered in the kitchen, trying to
gather her wits about her. Instinctively she knew that was why
Maggie had intervened. She was a smart cookie, Andy decided, and
thanked God once again she had someone like her there to
help.

By the time she had returned Maggie had Graham
settled in the new bed in the new pajamas that Andy had ordered.
They weren’t as big on him as his regular clothes, but one could
definitely see how his body was deteriorating.

They stayed and chatted a bit while they ate
the cookies, but before long Graham started to nod off. Maggie
grabbed the tray and encouraged Andy to leave him in peace so he
could sleep.

The two women entered the kitchen together.
Andy grabbed the plate and glasses to rinse them off for the
dishwasher. She was clearly upset from the previous encounter in
the bedroom. Maggie had given a lot of thought on the matter in the
week and a half Andy had been in Los Angeles, and she finally
decided it was time to confront the 800-pound gorilla in the
room.

“You have to be really careful how you let
Graham manipulate you,” Maggie warned as she stored the rest of the
cookies.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Andy protested,
but she didn’t look the other woman’s way.

“You feel guilty, it’s only natural. And it’s a
bad situation. But honestly, you don’t owe him anything that comes
at the expense of yourself.”

Andy twirled around to face her. “How can you
say that? If it weren’t for Graham I would be in that condition… or
worse.”

“Or,” Maggie offered, “She could have missed
entirely. Maybe the bullet would have struck someone else. You
can’t base your entire life on a ‘what if,’ Andy. And you can’t
allow him to manipulate you into thinking you owe him any more than
you are willing to give.”

Andy sighed and put her head in her hands.
Maggie took pity on her and walked over to put her arms around her.
“I just don’t know what to do,” Andy finally confessed.

Maggie pulled away to look her directly in the
eye. “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do if he were able to walk.
Otherwise you’re not just setting yourself up as a victim. You’re
keeping him one too.”

“That’s the last thing I want to
do.”

“Then keep him focused on the things he can
control. He thinks his body is his enemy right now, but he’s not
entirely helpless. He can build up his muscle mass. He can regain
his independence. These are the things that will help reconstruct
his self-esteem and restore his manhood. Anything that comes from a
relationship may feel like it’s the same thing but it’s not – it’s
just a distraction he doesn’t need.”

“Me either,” Andy agreed. She grabbed Maggie’s
hands in hers. “I’m glad you’re here, Maggie. I couldn’t do this
without you.”

She grinned. “I know.”

When Graham awoke from his nap later that
afternoon, Maggie refused to take no for an answer when it came to
keeping their physical therapy routine. Andy could hear them
fighting all the way across the house where she sat in his office.
He’d insist she was pushing him to do things he couldn’t do. She’d
counter he couldn’t have gotten that big house by being a wussy
quitter. She nagged and needled and he resisted and argued… but
after about an hour things calmed down again when she rolled him
into the bathroom for soak in the tub.

Their relationship struck Andy as so odd.
Maggie refused to take any excuses due to his understandable
condition and though he screamed and yelled at her he seemed
comfortable to let her hang around. It was as though he treated her
as the personification of his injury. He could get mad at her. He
could submit to that primal rage. It felt good to be mad. To scream
at the fates. To rail at the gods. But in the end he followed her
instructions and got a few inches further than he would have gotten
on his own.

Maggie wanted him mad. Being mad meant he was
going to attack his disability rather than submit to it. There were
no guarantees that he’d ever walk again, but there no guarantees
that he wouldn’t. She was perfectly comfortable pushing him in full
faith it could be done. Even if he couldn’t walk again this would
build his strength, which he would need to adapt to his life as a
paraplegic. Just one more rep with the weights or one more lift
from his chair and he would learn he was not confined by anything
more than a sour attitude. By the end of their sessions he was no
longer yelling. He was amazed that he could do just a bit more than
the day before.

That night he insisted they eat together in the
dining room. Andy lit candles and opened the door so he could feel
the ocean breeze cool everything off after the heat of the day.
Maggie left them alone to sit together one the veranda overlooking
the ocean. Andy lit the stone fireplace, and then walked over to
the chair she had set up at his side. They didn’t say anything as
they watched the tide roll in and out. She didn’t protest when he
took her hand in his.

She grasped it softly as she gave him a smile.
Finally, for the first time in a while, he returned it.

The next day, however, presented a whole new
set of challenges. Vanni had arranged a meeting. He wanted to
introduce the new bassist to the label and get the P.R. machine
cracking on what he called the New and Improved Dreaming in Blue.
Andy thought Graham should be there to oversee everything but even
though Maggie considered it a positive step, Graham wasn’t having
it.

“I’m not going,” he decided as he pulled his
covers up over his lifeless legs.

Andy tried to be sunny and supportive. “I think
it might do you good to get back to the office, to get back into
your normal routine.”

Graham glared at her. “Nothing is normal
anymore,” he repeated yet again.

“Of course it is,” Maggie offered from where
she sat in the corner of the room. “So what if you can’t walk
across the office. Your brain still works.”

“That’s not the point,” he insisted. “You both
tell me to focus on my health. Why not let other people handle the
business for now? Andy you know more about that band than anyone.
You could go.”

She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a
good idea.” She thought back to the last time she had seen Vanni
and the state he was in. “It’s just really complicated.”

“When wasn’t it?” he challenged.

Andy sighed. He had a point there.

“Leo Newman is one of the best managers in the
business. He’s managed a successful tour. He can manage the
change-up in the band.”

“Iain wasn’t totally sure he could be trusted,”
Andy pointed out.

“Iain’s not here anymore, is he?” Graham
countered. “All you need is my signature on a revised contract, and
I can do that from here. I trust you with everything
else.”

Somehow she doubted that, but she didn’t
challenge him. Instead Andy glanced back at Maggie helplessly, but
she just shrugged. While she wasn’t worried that a trip to the
office would set him back, she couldn’t really argue that making
him go would help him in the long run. She’d long since learned to
pick her battles with Graham. They could work on his physical
therapy while Andy took care of an individual Maggie already knew
agitated Graham to the point of uselessness.

Andy pursed her lips. “Fine,” she said as she
rose from where she sat next to him on the bed. She stalked off to
her room to shower and change. She had a sneaking suspicion there
was no way to ever be ready to see Vanni, much less in the
self-destructive state he seemed determined to enjoy right to the
bitter end.

Chapter Seven

August 22, 2010. Los Angeles.

Vanni

In just seven days Dreaming in Blue experienced
the most unprecedented creative growth in its history. The day
after he met Vanni, Julian met the rest of the band and felt around
with the bass in some of their best known songs. He took to it
immediately, as though he’d learned their biggest hits in the space
of twelve hours. This impressed Yael and Felix even though they
were primed to hate their musical brother’s replacement.

After impressing them with his preparation, he
then wowed a normally stoic Yael with an impromptu jam session that
featured what he could do on guitar. His skill was undeniable.
Julian admitted he’d been playing almost non-stop since he was
seventeen, when he and his sixteen-year-old sister made their way
west by hitchhiking all the way from Ohio.

They finally made it to Los Angeles after years
of living like gypsies as they traveled from town to town. In the
interim Julian had learned a lot as part of any bar band that would
take him in. There were never formal classes and training like Yael
had been privileged to have. Instead he toiled by the sweat of his
brow and the luck of the draw.