Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (46 page)

So naturally she owed him her devotion in a way
that Vanni, if he were being honest with himself, would admit he
didn’t deserve. When he started to make love to her in Graham’s
house and Graham walked in on them, it was Graham she chased after
to fix what had gone horribly wrong.

Vanni, on the other hand, went back out to the
party to find Kat. While Andy was at the airport, Vanni found
solace in another woman’s embrace.

He knew then Andy was too good for him, yet
that only made him want her more. She was the one who helped him
keep sane after Tawnie had committed suicide. She was the one who
listened without judgment, even when he confessed his worst sins to
her. It was an epiphany to truly be himself with a woman, no lies,
no masquerade, and be accepted – even loved – anyway.

By the time they went on the cruise together he
knew he had to have her one more time… one more time before Graham
swooped in and took what he wanted most in the world.

The only problem was the minute he made love to
her after that long, painful year apart he knew he could never let
her go again. He was going to fight anyone, from Kat to Graham
himself, to fit her into his life in some way.

That she finally chose him only fueled his
fire, especially after what it cost her with Talia.

And it very nearly cost her everything with
Talia, which swung the pendulum back to Graham. In all that Vanni
was willing to do to keep Andy he dove away from the bullet that
had finally done what nothing before it could do: it severed the
tie that kept them together.

Now she was in Philadelphia with Graham and he
was alone on this stupid, lonely, expensive deck wishing he could
turn back the hands of time long enough to grow a pair. He wanted
to be her hero. Instead he was what he always had been: a phony. It
really didn’t matter how many records he sold or how many groupies
he had or how successful he had become. He was a pretty show pony
and nothing more.

He drained the last of the bottle he didn’t
even know he killed, but it only left him hollow. Andy had been his
savior, but she was gone. She had someone else to save now. And no
one knew better than Vanni Graham deserved it far more than he ever
could. He hadn’t stacked up a long list of betrayals and
disappointments that had cost Andy so much over the
years.

That was Vanni’s cross alone to bear. He knew
he would pay the price in loneliness that he so rightly deserved.
And that was the bottom line. He was alone because he deserved to
be.

So as he popped open that second bottle he made
a vow he’d never get involved again. He had learned a lot of
painful lessons in the past three years. All his life he had he
stared at himself through a cracked mirror, yet as flawed as he was
she had loved him to the bitter end. He knew that there could never
be anyone to take her place and certainly no one who could ever
capture his heart again like Andy had done so effortlessly and so
completely.

He simply had no heart left to give. He left it
in Philadelphia, in the hands of someone who knew now just how
small of a man he really was.

By the time he polished off another bottle he
wore a snarl on his face. He swore before God no one would ever get
close enough to see that ever again.

Andy was the first… the last… and the
only.

The next morning he awoke to a loud and
relentless pounding noise. At first he thought it was his hangover
headache, but it was coming from the front door. He dragged himself
from the hammock and trudged through his wrecked house in a
leftover fog from his drunken stupor. Briefly he thought he might
swing the door open to find Andy standing there on the step with
her suitcase in hand and a smile on her face.

Instead it was Leo Newman, the road manager for
the band and their ongoing tour. He wasn’t young and luscious and
lovely. Instead he wore a long silver beard, bald head and tattoos
to go along with his middle age paunch. This was a rock and roll
veteran who didn’t take much crap, especially from entitled stars
like Vanni. “Where you been, man?” Leo asked as he brushed Vanni
aside to enter the house. “Tonight’s the Hollywood Bowl, or have
you forgotten?”

“Of course I haven’t forgotten,” Vanni lied. He
had forgotten because he hadn’t cared. “Last American gig before
the big European leg of the tour.” He spun his finger around in a
mock celebratory fashion. “Woo hoo. Party.”

Leo glanced over Vanni’s unkempt appearance and
the decimated piano scattered across his living room. “Looks like
you’ve been partying already.”

Vanni lumbered back over to his liquor cabinet.
“You know me, Leo. I’m a regular party animal.” He pulled out a
bottle of whiskey.

“I don’t care what you do, man,” Leo told him
as he reached for a glass. “Just make sure you make it to the Bowl
at four o’clock for a sound check. This is the big time, not some
Bar Mitzvah you can half-ass. Got it?”

Vanni nodded as he watched the hardened road
manager throw back his glass of whisky in one swig. He was all
business and Vanni kind of admired that. “Whatever you say, boss.”
He tipped his glass to Leo before throwing back his own shot and
reaching for another.

Leo regarded him carefully. He’d seen this
before. “I tell you what. I’ll send a car. Whether you’re ready or
not.”

“I’ll be ready,” Vanni promised. “I’m always
ready.”

It was another lie.

By the time the car arrived he had consumed
half of the contents of his liquor cabinet. He hadn’t bothered to
shave or even shower. He lay on his hammock listening to the sound
of the surf and humming an old tune by Nazareth.

The driver practically had to carry him to the
car. Things got worse at sound check. The other guys had never seen
Vanni in the shape he was in. He was so drunk he could barely
stand. Leo tried to pipe him full of coffee while Iain propped him
up backstage. That left it to Yael and Felix to work out the sound
on stage.

“What the hell is the matter with you, mate?”
Iain demanded under his breath. It wasn’t enough this was the
biggest night so far of their collective history as a band, but now
Vanni had to add to the stress by being unintelligible and
unmanageable too?

“Fuck off,” Vanni said as he pushed him away.
Iain didn’t understand what he was going through. He had his
perfect little fucking family. “You don’t know,” he finally
slurred. “You got it all. Everyone…,” he muttered as he thought of
Graham, “everyone has got it all.”

Iain sighed. “You got it all too, mate. Just
pull it together. Don’t let her see you like this.”

Vanni glared at him. He pushed him away again
and staggered to his feet. “She can’t see me, can she? She’s not
here. Is she?” He went over to the refreshment spread where he
picked up the first bottle he came to. “But none of you need to
worry. I’m the best in the biz when it comes to putting on a show.
Ask anyone I’ve ever slept with.”

He staggered off to wardrobe where one of the
assistants tried to grab him and put him in something more exciting
than the dirty jeans and smelly shirt he wore.

Leo joined Iain where he stood by the buffet
table. Iain shot him a worried glance. “We’re in trouble, mate.
I’ve never seen him in this state before.”

Leo shrugged. A drunk rocker was hardly front
page news. In fact maybe the publicity could do them good if they
had one scandalous show. His entire resume was based on misbehaving
bands whose fans couldn’t get enough of their bad behavior. The
only thing he could do better than put on a kickass rock show was
oversee the proper PR spin if one had gone awry. “He just needs the
hair of the dog that bit him,” he said.

“He’s got that,” Iain pointed to all the
alcohol on the table. “I fail to see how that will make things
better.”

“Wrong dog,” Leo said as he patted him on his
back. “He needs a woman. Preferably two.”

Iain glared at him. Isn’t that what got them
all in this situation in the first place? “Just one,” he corrected.
“And she’s not here.”

Leo was unmoved. “Her loss.” He called over
another roadie and gave him specific instructions. Wait for the
lines outside to form and pick out five or ten of the hottest girls
to award with backstage passes. “The younger and sluttier the
better,” he said with a grin. “If he doesn’t get laid, at least we
will.”

By the eight o’clock show time the lucky
groupies sat in the wings, practically unglued with the excitement
they’d get to meet their idol up close and personal. The band took
the stage and Vanni, ever the showman, turned his drunken stupor
into a full on sexual assault of every lucky woman who sat anywhere
near the stage. With his trademark strut he swaggered all over that
stage and remembered almost all of the lyrics. When he’d mess up he
masterfully did the old switcheroo with other songs that the band
had played in the past but didn’t necessary have on their set
list.

The audience ate it up. It didn’t feel like a
manufactured show, which made the whole thing rather intimate. He
even brought one of the groupies on stage to sing to her, that
familiar song about longing for someone he just met, and he fed off
of the enamored look in her eyes. In that moment he could do no
wrong, no matter if he felt like he was useless, pathetic, and a
few hip gyrations away from blowing chunks all over the pristine
stage. He slithered around the stool on which she sat and made her
fall hopelessly in love with him.

He punctuated the song with an impromptu peck
on the tip of her nose. As he pulled away he was surprised to open
his eyes and find anyone but Andy sitting there. It punched through
his drunken fog and sobered him up quick. He motioned for Leo to
come and get the groupie to return her to her spot backstage, then
launched into something hard and sexual to everyone clamoring for
more in the front row.

They did their last song, and of course their
encore song complete with fireworks, then all the guys took their
bows before heading off stage. Vanni brushed by all the hopeful
groupies to lock himself away in his dressing room, slamming the
door on the chaos backstage so he could get a few moments alone to
regroup. There was, of course, another party. It’d be hours before
he got back to the beach house, where he’d ultimately only get a
day or two to pack for their European dates.

But he couldn’t think of any of that. All he
could think of was that song he wrote three years before when he
met an unusual woman with a sweet Southern accent and an hourglass
figure that made his mouth water. She was the perfect combination
of lady and bombshell, and she was blissfully unaware of
either.

His heart ached for her. He was almost certain
this would be the cause of his ultimate demise.

Someone knocked at his door. For a moment he
considered not answering. Finally he pulled himself off the chair
and opened it partially to peek through.

It was the groupie he had serenaded on stage.
“Hey,” she said with a hopeful smile. “Leo told me to come and get
you for the party.”

He sighed as he looked down at her earnest
face. She was young, probably just barely twenty. She had blond
hair and clear blue eyes and a fit athletic figure on display in
her silk shorts and sequined tank top. All he had to do was open
that door a little wider and he could have his way with her in ways
she probably wasn’t even aware of yet. A year ago, that’s probably
what he would have done.

But this Vanni bore battle scars. He knew that
he could close his eyes and fake it for the moment, but whenever he
opened his eyes she’d still be a substitute for what he really
wanted. He’d break her heart when he never called her again,
because as nice as it was it wasn’t “the best.” It would blend in
with all the other ones who came before – nameless, faceless warm
bodies to hold onto until he moved on to the next one.

He knew as he looked down at her she would
probably be perfectly okay with that. She was young but she knew
the score. She wasn’t after a relationship or a ring. She wanted to
have her night with her idol so she could have a fantasy to hold
onto throughout the rest of her completely ordinary life. For a
night he would make her feel like the only one, and in today’s
sexual revolution maybe that was all that was needed.

The problem was that wasn’t enough for him
anymore. Instead of opening the door he just nodded and told her
that he’d be out in a minute. He shut the door on her still
hopeful, but now confused, face before going over to the sofa that
lined the back wall. He slid out of his open shirt and flopped
down, draping his elbow over his eyes.

The next knock was more commanding, and opened
before he could even think about answering. “Are you fucking
kidding me, man?”

It was Leo. He was staring at Vanni in
disbelief. Here he had this barely legal hottie ready to jump his
bones and he sent her away? It was a total waste of his
superstardom. And he told him as much.

“I don’t sleep with groupies,” Vanni informed
him.

“Since when?” Leo challenged.

Vanni sent him a stern look from where he still
lay on the sofa. “Since now. What’s the problem anyway? That’s just
more road pussy for you, right?”