Groupie/Rock Star Bundle (65 page)

He glanced over at his son, who watched him
carefully. He remembered that look way back when Vanni was a baby.
He was such a thoughtful child who seemed to take in the world
around him without giving too much away.

Angelo always suspected he learned that from
him, the need to build walls and hide behind fortresses. He hated
carrying on that trait, especially when Giovanni’s mother had been
so open and loving. Not unlike the girl sitting next to him on the
sofa.

“I remember that look,” he said softly as he
looked away. “You were disappointed in me even as a baby, and
rightfully so.”

Andy sent Vanni a supportive glance. His jaw
was clenched so tightly he dared not say a word.

“I would get drunk,” Angelo went on, as if in
confession. “Your mom was at work, hard at work, always at work.
She had to be. I couldn’t keep a job. And there you would be in
your playpen, staring at me just like you are looking at me now.
You couldn’t even walk but you knew you got shafted when it came to
a father.”

“So you left,” Vanni finally filled in the
blank.

Angelo nodded. “I was weak,” he said. “I
figured it was better for everyone. Even your mom. She worked so
hard to put a roof over your head and I just tried to drink it all
away week after week. I hated myself for being dead weight. And I
knew she’d never kick me out. She was kind.” He turned to Andy,
“Like you.”

Andy reached for his hand and squeezed it with
a smile.

“So why are you back?” Vanni wanted to know.
“Why now?”

Andy knew he believed Angelo wanted to take
advantage of the fame. He didn’t trust this man, for obvious
reasons, to do anything more than disappoint him one more
time.

“When you first became successful I told myself
that I had done the right thing by leaving. Your mom gave you
everything you needed to make your dreams come true. You had talent
and drive and courage, none of which came from me. It made me happy
to know that the curse of my family had finally been broken at
last. A Carnevale had made something of himself. I never would have
bothered you at all had it not been for the accident, when I
realized the demons that chased me all my life now were chasing
you.”

Vanni didn’t say anything. He was still trying
to figure out if he was an alcoholic at all. He made one big
mistake… but this man had come from a lifetime of drinking. He
didn’t see these things as even remotely the same.

“I want nothing from you, Giovanni,” Angelo
said. “No money. No special treatment. Not even forgiveness. It’s
not my place to ask and I certainly don’t deserve any of it. But if
finally in my life I can help someone, and that someone is the one
I should have helped a long, long time ago, then I’m willing to
brave your anger and offer it.”

“I am angry,” Vanni was finally able to say.
“Do you have any idea how much it would have meant to me if you had
shown up even one time when I was a kid? Just once. Just to see how
I was doing. To show you cared. To help my mom with the bills so
she didn’t have to work herself into an early grave. Any of it. You
had an obligation. As a father and as a man. And you walked
away.”

Angelo nodded. “I did. And I can’t even say I
regretted it. Every single day I convinced myself you both were
better off without me. I was sick. I never wanted to make you sick
too.”

Vanni shook his head. He wasn’t going to let
him off the hook that easy. Not after a lifetime of disappointment.
“Yet according to you I am sick anyway. So that means you wasted
all those years that neither one of us can get back.”

Angelo nodded again, and lowered his eyes. “I
don’t blame you for not forgiving me,” he said. “I certainly don’t
forgive myself.”

Andy sent Vanni another look. She hoped to
silently convey that this was a new beginning, it had to be. This
was the whole purpose of this meeting, to be progressive and work
towards something more positive. Initially it was for his public
image, but now Andy knew it was what was best for Vanni
personally.

He needed his dad. He always had and he still
did. Until he healed those scars torn deep from that initial
abandonment, he’d never be able to connect with anyone.

Vanni took a deep breath. He certainly didn’t
feel any forgiveness but he knew they had a job yet to do. “You’re
right. You’re sick. And I learned a lot in rehab about the choices
we make when we’re under the influence of this disease. And just
like I can’t go back and fix my mistakes, you can’t go back and fix
yours. There’s nowhere to go but forward.” It was a speech he had
researched for days, a quotable soundbite that would ultimately
help soften his own transgressions. That – along with a recompense
that he didn’t feel he owed, but knew would mean something to the
public who would judge him. “As such, I know you aren’t asking for
anything but I’d like to help you out anyway.”

Angelo’s eyes widened. “No, I couldn’t possibly
let you do that.”

Vanni shrugged. “It’s done.” He glanced back at
Andy, who nodded as she picked up an envelope from the coffee
table.

She pulled out some paperwork. “We took care of
some things for you. Some old debt, especially medical bills. We
also found you an apartment in a safer area and paid for an entire
year’s lease in advance. In addition there will be a stipend to
help provide for living expenses. This will allow you to focus on
the volunteer work through your support group.”

Angelo stared at her in open-mouthed shock. He
shook his head. “I can’t possibly take any of that.”

“Why not?” Vanni wanted to know. If he was
there to bleed him dry for money, surely he’d jump at the lottery
ticket he just won. Maybe Angelo figured it out for the test that
it was.

“It’s not right,” Angelo protested. “It’s just
like your mother working and supporting me all those years ago. I
couldn’t live with myself when she did it, much less my own
son.”

Vanni bristled at the term. He didn’t feel
Angelo had yet earned the right to call him that. “Like I said,
it’s done. Everything is already paid for.”

“Besides,” Andy gently interjected, “this makes
it easier for you and Vanni to build a relationship together. You
should know by now that having a famous son is going to bring
certain complications into your life. The apartment is in a
security building in Manhattan, a place where Vanni would feel more
secure about visiting. Having a job at the local market is out of
the question, you’d constantly get hounded by the paparazzi and
reporters. This just makes sense to move forward.”

Angelo considered her words momentarily. He
hadn’t thought about any of that when he finally came forward to
claim his son, but she had a point. His life had definitely turned
upside down as a result. Though he had been sober for the last five
years, all the constant stressors of fighting off the media
seriously tempted him to go off the wagon.

He could see why Vanni had stumbled so greatly
and so publicly.

Angelo finally nodded. It still didn’t feel
right, but if it opened the door between him and his son, it was
more valuable than any amount of money. He looked over at Vanni.
“Thank you.”

Vanni mirrored his nod as he stood. Without
even a goodbye he turned and left the room.

Angelo sighed. “He’s truly angry with
me.”

“It’s going to take some time,” Andy said. “But
this was a good first step.” She stood. “Can I get you something to
eat?”

He shook his head as he rose to his feet.
“You’ve been very kind.” He gestured to the folder. “Too
kind.”

“Your first check is in there, along with
directions to your new place. If you need any help moving your
belongings or anything at all, my number is in there.”

“Yours?” he asked.

She nodded. “Give him some time. If there’s one
thing I know about Vanni he needs a little time to get used to
things. The car will meet you at your new place in time for the
interview tomorrow. All the details are in the
paperwork.”

His eyes met hers. “Is there an official story
in this paperwork too?”

She shook her head. “Just the truth. You’ve
made the first step toward reconciliation after a long absence. Be
as honest on camera as you were with us.” He nodded. She smiled,
and then impulsively reached for a hug. “It was nice to meet you,
Angelo.”

He tentatively hugged her back. “And you…
Andy.”

After he was gone she went to find Vanni, who
lay sprawled across the bed in one of the bedrooms. Everything he
had ever thought or felt had been undermined in an afternoon. The
abandonment from his father had driven his entire life, both good
and bad. To learn the man was sick and not evil, pathetic and not
mean, tore the bottom out of everything he’d always believed –
about others and about himself. He barely made it to the bed before
collapsing under the devastating blow.

She said nothing as she crawled onto the bed
with him and cuddled him from behind. He clutched her tight and
fought every urge within him to crawl into a bottle and never come
out again.

“It hurts,” he eked out.

“I know,” she whispered. She kissed his
shoulder and held him tight.

He held onto her as if his life depended on it.
They rode out the emotional storm together. She crooned to him
gently as she stroked his hair and held him close. The hole in his
soul was ripped wide open. All she could do was fill it with all
the love she had inside. It felt like hours had passed before his
tears were exhausted and he lay quiet and still.

Finally he rolled onto his back and into her
arms. His eyes were bloodshot as they sought hers. He didn’t say
anything. He simply stroked her hair and lost himself in her
eyes.

It was the safest place he’d ever
been.

He memorized every feature of her lovely face,
first with his eyes and then with a gentle fingertip that brushed
with feather-light tenderness over the curve of her cheek. Slowly
it trailed to the fullness of her lips, the very same lips he had
kissed for the first time in a hansom cab on a New York City
street. He remembered that night, how she looked huddled under a
blanket as the snow gently kissed her multi-colored hair. “So
pretty,” he remembered saying. “So beautiful,” was what he would
tell her now. His eyes met hers again in a silent question. Were
those lips still his to taste? Was her kiss still his to take? She
gave him the most imperceptible of nods as she herself bent closer
to him. When he reached for a kiss there was no way she could ever
deny him.

Instead she pulled him close and kissed him
back with the same kind of longing that stretched back to 2007.
Years later she still filled his embrace, warm and real, and he
drank comfort from her lips like it was the elixir of life
itself.

It wasn’t even about sex. He needed her love to
patch all the tears. With every soft kiss she planted along his
cheek, neck and shoulder he felt her healing love pour over each
open wound. She softened his rough edges. She gave his soul peace.
She was, as she had always been, his saving grace.

He gently pushed her back on the bed as he
memorized her body once more through the tips of his fingers. She
was beyond stopping him or even worrying about the world that
waited just outside their door. Her body came to life under his
hands and she watched in wonder how each kiss chased away the
painful shadows in his eyes.

He pulled open her shirt to slide his warm hand
across her cool flesh. She gasped and arched closer to him as her
own hand slid down his back and over one hip.

His hair spilled over his shoulder and across
her body as he kissed his way down her neck and over her chest. She
gasped his name when his mouth found her breast. She swung one leg
over his hip to draw him closer.

He shrugged off his shirt and swung it over
into a corner before he raised her shirt from over her shoulders.
When he came back down again they lay naked chest to bare breast.
“You feel like home,” he whispered against her skin.

“Then come home, Vanni,” she whispered
back.

His eyes met hers. After all this time, could
she really be telling him they could be together?

Then he realized they were in that room all
alone with no barriers. Nothing could stop them.

He unzipped her pants and slid them over her
hips along with the lacy panties she wore underneath. She moaned
softly as he worshipped her curves with his gentle hands and his
loving and thorough tongue.

She was crazed for him by the time he finally
slipped out of his own jeans. He fit his warm body between her
quivering thighs. He was so hard he opened her up to him like a new
virgin, and she nearly cried with how perfectly they still fit
together.

He said her name as he moved inside her. She
fit around him like a glove. She was his other half, he knew that
now. This was his home. She throbbed around him like the very beat
of his heart. “I love you, Andy,” he murmured against the lips he
could never resist. “I’ve always loved you.”

“I love you, too,” she confessed deliriously as
she climaxed under him, which took him over the edge himself. He
sped up and cried out as he came. It wasn’t about claiming her as
his; it was about him finally allowing himself to be
hers.