Ground & Pound (11 page)

Emmy

I stand by the living room window watching Kane, Trey, Ozzy, and the rest of the guys load our stuff into Kane’s house. I’ve avoided as much contact with them as possible, not wanting them to see my face. I already have two men pissed as hell; I don’t need more men screaming and threatening to kill Jason.

I didn’t fight Kane when he said Trey and I were moving in with him. A part of me wanted to argue, but I knew it made sense. Since I can’t go back to the strip club, I won’t have the money to pay rent. Until I get a decent job, I’m not sure how I’ll pay for Trey’s school. Thank God, I finished paying for his next tuition payment. If not, Trey wouldn’t be able to go back for the spring semester.

Plus, he’s being paranoid about Jason. Kane’s sure that he’s not gonna take my quitting real great. He’s convinced Jason will show up at the apartment and try something. Here, that won’t happen, so moving in was an easy solution.

I like being here, and so does Trey, so it’s not a hardship for us. I’m just not sure it’s the right time. I know I’m falling for him, probably already have fallen for him. Still, we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, and it seems more than just a little fast. If it was just me, it would be different, but I’m uprooting Trey’s whole life.

I feel arms wrap around me, and jump from the contact. I try to twist around, but Kane whispers in my ear. “It’s just me, babe.”

“You scared me.” I relax against his chest, drawing in his heat.

Placing a kiss on the top of my head, he says, “I have to say, it feels good to know you’re going to be living here.”

I turn in his arms, pasting a fake smile on my face. “You just want me at your disposal twenty-four-seven.”

He gives me one of his cocky smiles I love. “I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t on my mind. I also just want you here.”

“Why else?” I ask, finally giving him a true smile.

He places a kiss on my neck, lowering his voice so just I can hear him. “You’re mine, and I want you by my side.”

I love when he says things like that. He doesn’t do it often; most of the time he’s all alpha male, but sometimes he’s sweet. Well, I guess it’s an alpha form of sweet. It makes me feel important, cherished, and like no one in the world can touch me because they’ll have to go through him first.

I place a kiss on his chin. “Why don’t I make you guys some dinner? I’m sure everyone will be hungry after the move is done.”

His hands travel down my sides to my ass, tightening around my hips. “Sexy as hell, and she can cook. I knew there was a reason I asked you to move in.”

“Technically, you didn’t ask.” I cock my head to the side with a smile. “You just started moving everything out of the apartment.”

“Nope, I wasn’t gonna ask. It’s not my style. I take what I want, and I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you walk on that stage.” His hands give my butt a squeeze, and I laugh.

“Whatever,” I mumble, grinding into his hardening cock.

“Don’t pretend you don’t love it.” His voice vibrates in my ear, and my body tightens with anticipation.

“Brother, you gonna help us, or you just gonna stand there acting like a pussy-whipped bitch?” I look over as Ozzy carries a box upstairs.

“I better get going before they start to revolt.” He plants a quick kiss on my lips before running back outside to grab more boxes from the truck.

I head into the kitchen, deciding to make chicken parmesan and spaghetti for them. It’s Sunday, so I know once they’re done, they won’t be hitting the road. They’ll spend the rest of the day planted in front of the TV watching football. Whenever I’ve been over on Sundays before, I usually spent the time reading on my phone while they all screamed at the television around me. Tonight, I may even try to learn what happens.

As I’m breading the chicken, I hear footsteps and look up. Kane’s mom is walking through the back door. She seems shocked when she sees my face. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Hi, Mona,” I reply, trying to avoid looking at her. After all she’s been through, my split lip is nothing but a scratch.

“How are you? Kane told me what happened, and I wanted to stop by.” She sits down on one of the stools. I try to turn my face so that my cheek isn’t facing her, but she notices it anyway.

Staring at me, she shakes her head. “You’re gonna carry that bruise for a few days. You have to learn that you’re not ugly for having it, but he’s ugly for giving it to ya. Took me years to figure that out.”

Looking into her eyes, I wonder if it’s difficult for her to see my bruise. Does it bring back memories for her? “I’m okay, honestly. Once it happened, I made the obvious decision to quit. Other than that, I haven’t had any trouble dealing with it.” I don’t know if I’m trying to convince her or me.

She reaches over, grabbing my hand. “Kane said you seemed pretty upset.”

“I really didn’t want to tell Trey or Kane. Hell, I even lied to them about it, and I hate lying. I was just scared of their reactions,” I admit, not wanting her to think I ran to Kane, trying to get him to go after Jason.

When Trey ran out of the apartment, I was so scared. I have worked so hard to give him a good life, and I was afraid he was going to ruin it. I don’t want him to throw it all away on a piece of trash like Jason. I definitely don’t want him throwing it all away just to protect me.

“I know it was difficult for Kane to deal with the fact that your boss hit you. He told you about his father, didn’t he?” She finally lets go of my hand and rests hers on the counter. 

I can’t quite meet her eyes when I answer. “Yeah, he did.”

“He struggled with what happened for years. When his dad finally stopped coming around, it took Kane forever to accept that he didn’t have to protect me and Ozzy all the time.” She’s quiet for just a second then continues. “The fact that what happened to you upset him didn’t surprise me. I think he would be angry no matter what the situation. The fact that he nearly broke down when he was telling me about it did surprise me, though. It shows how much he really cares about you.”

Hearing her say this makes my body freeze. I know how I feel, even if I don’t want to admit it. Still, I’ve convinced myself it’s one-sided. If I let myself believe he feels the same and he doesn’t, it will crush me. Right now, I’m not sure I could take another crushing blow. 

I smile at her, not really knowing what to say. “You raised a good man.”

“My son is a handful, to say the least, but he has a huge heart. He doesn’t let many people in, so cherish that you are one of the few.” Mona stands and pulls me into a hug. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around more.”

Smiling at her, I hug back. “You’re probably gonna get tired of seeing my face.”

“That’s doubtful. I think I’m going to like having a woman around here.” She then releases me and walks out the door. Just before the door shuts, she sticks her head back in. “With Kane being nearly thirty, and Ozzy not that far behind, I’m looking forward to having Trey around, too. I can play concerned Momma again.”

The door shuts behind her, leaving my head spinning in confusion. Could she really think this could be real? Is she right? Does Kane love me? Does he love me enough for this to last forever? Placing my hands flat on the counter, I let my head hang down and try to control my breathing. A part of me wants to run before I have a chance to be hurt. That wouldn’t do any good, though. He would find me.

I smile, thinking of the first night and how I kept trying to push him away. I knew that night there was something different about Kane. Something that scared me but also fascinated me. The fact that we have only known each other for such a short time, and I’m probably in love with him, is certifiable. I mean, it’s legitimately insane, right? I guess it goes hand in hand with the rest of my life, though.

Finishing up dinner, I set the table and call the guys. During the entire time they are eating, I keep my head down, trying to hide my face. They devour dinner so quickly, I swear I don’t even think they chewed it. As soon as they walk back into the den, I stand up and start picking up dirty dishes. By the time I’m done cleaning the table, everyone is leaving. I thank them all for helping us move in, still avoiding looking directly at them.

Ozzy calls out his goodbye as I plop down on the couch, relaxing for the first time today. Trey says goodnight and heads up to Kane’s game room to spend the rest of the night on the Xbox. Finally, Kane sits next to me on the couch, and I lay my head against his chest. “Where’s Ozzy heading to?”

“Not sure, probably to see some skank,” he says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

Ignoring his attitude, I snuggle in closer to him. “It feels nice to be here.”

“You’ve been here before, babe.” He laughs as his hand strokes my hair.

“I know that,” I say, elbowing him in the ribs. “It feels different right now, though. Now that I’m living here, it feels like home. I haven’t been somewhere that’s felt like home since…” I catch myself before I start to talk about them.

“Since?” Kane asks, his voice just above a whisper.

I have never brought up our parents before, and I wasn’t planning on bringing them up now. “Nothing, I was just thinking out loud.”

He leans his head down and places a kiss on the top of the head. “Talk to me, babe.”

I close my eyes, wanting to block out the memories that crash through me. I hate talking about them, hate even thinking about them. Even when Trey tries to bring them up, I always change the conversation. I love them as much today as the day they died, but the guilt of their death still haunts me. “Since before my parents died.”

“What happened?” His voice is soft as his hand continues caressing my hair.

I can tell he is trying not to push me too hard, but he wants to know. If this relationship has a chance, I have to let him in. If not, this won’t work. I have to tell him everything, even the thing I’m most ashamed of. 

“My mom asked me to go to the store for them,” I start, my voice filled with pain. “I blew her off to go hang out with my friends, so they ended up going themselves.”

I’m silent for a moment, trying to pick out my next words carefully. “When I got home, they weren’t there, and a while later, the cops showed up. I thought they were there for me.”

“Why?” he asks, his voice filled with confusion.

I smile, something I never thought I’d do while talking about this. “Our high school had this huge mural of the school mascot. My friends dared me to spray lips on its ass.”

He chuckles. “I’ve got my own personal bad ass.”

“You sure do,” I say before becoming serious again. “When they said they were there because of my parents, my heart stopped.”

Again, I go silent, but Kane pushes me on. “What happened?”

“They were carjacked on the way to the store. The guy shot both of them. Dad died at the scene, and Mom died before they could get her to the hospital.” Tears start to fall from my eyes as I remember the way Trey fell to the ground, filling the room with his screams.

“Oh, fuck, Emmy.” He pulls me closer. 

Finally, I tell him what I’ve been too ashamed to tell anyone else before. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t been such a snotty little bitch and had just gone to the store for Mom, they would’ve never been in that car. They’d still be here with us.”

Before I can stop it, a sob escapes my throat as my body tenses, wondering how he’s going to react to my confession. “It’s all my fault. I killed them.”

His arms tighten around me, and he leans his head against mine. “No, you didn’t. You can’t put that on your shoulders. The asshole who pulled the trigger killed them. Not you. It didn’t have a damn thing to do with you. You were just a kid.”

“I was selfish, just a selfish bitch. All I ever thought about was myself and what I wanted.” I shake my head as my anxiety skyrockets. “Ever since that day, I promised myself I would never be selfish again. Trey would be taken care of by me, because I took away the people who were supposed to care of him.”

Instead of trying to change my mind, he agrees with me. “You take good care of him, but you also need to take care of you.”

“I hate talking about them. I feel wrong even thinking about them sometimes. Every time I do, it reminds me that I could have prevented their deaths. I miss them so much every damn day.” The pain in my chest intensifies, cutting off my words. I feel like I can’t breathe, like there is a huge boulder crushing me.

My hands fist in Kane’s shirt as the tears stream down my face. “I feel so guilty.”

“Emmy, you have no reason to feel guilty. Trey doesn’t blame you, and you’ve gotta stop beating yourself up,” he says, moving his hands from my hair to wipe the tears from my eyes. “Your parents loved you, and they wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life feeling guilty. You have to let go of it but hold on to the memories.”

I nod my head, and the two of us stay like that on the couch for the longest time. “You’re wonderful.” 

Listening to his words, I finally release some of the guilt. It’s still there, but it’s smaller, less consuming. He hasn’t killed it, but he’s knocked it on its ass. His kindness solidified the way I feel for this man. He is the most amazing person I have ever met. Finally, I admit it to myself, I love him, unconditionally.